如何尊重孩子的选择

The child, is God gave us the best gift, from be born to them, they hand picking candy step by step slowly move into your hand, parents must be able to feel the joy and treasure. For the children, nature is infinite love, hate not give them all over the world. But when the children grow up with their own decisions and ideas, we should face? 1 父母不是权利。尊重是一个人对另一个人平等的权利，没有因为任何原因而有不公平， 所以当我们决定对孩子尊重的 时候，就要知道我们在孩子的面前不是一个仲裁者，而是引导者。父母不是一种可以来威 胁孩子的岗位，也不拥有强迫 孩子的权利。 1 parents is not right. Respect is a person of another person equal rights, not because of any reason and unfair, so when we decide upon children respect,/catalog.asp?cate=3 want to know we in front of the children is not a mediator, but guide. Parents are not a threat to their jobs, also do not have forced the rights of the child. 2 从主角上退下来。为什么这么说呢？很多人在做了父母后，会有很多遗憾想要从孩子身 上补回来，很多人都在说，妈 妈以前没有做到，你一定要做到。爸爸以前没有考上，你要去考上。其实对于自己的没有 完成的事情已经过去了，现在 孩子的人生里，主角是孩子，所以不要给它们包袱或者希望来完成我们没有完成的事情。 The 2 main characters from the down. Why do you say that? Lots of people do their parents, there will be a lot of regret to come back from the children,/catalog.asp?cate=4 a lot of people say that, my mother had not done, you must do it. Dad didnt pass the exams, youre going to get. In fact, for his unfinished things have passed, and now the childs life, the protagonist is a child, so dont give them the burden or hope to complete our unfinished business. 3 做一个倾听者。从孩子咿咿呀呀学语，到孩子一字一句读书，再到后来和我们聊天说心 事，似乎一晃就过了，孩子长 大了，有了自己的见解和主见，不是那个父母决定吃什么饭，穿什么衣服的小孩子以后， 父母也要知道，要学会倾听孩 子的意愿，让他们能说，敢说，愿意说。这样，父母和孩子之间才是尊重和互信的一个关 系，那么就会很少出现孩子的 叛逆。因为他们会觉得你们愿意听他的理由和解释。 3 to do a listener. Yayaxueyu from child to child Yi Yi, every single word or phrase book, then later and we chat say mind, seems to flow over, the children grow up, have their own views and ideas, not the parents decide what to eat a meal, what to wear in children, parents also need to know, to learn to listen to childrens wishes, let them say,/catalog.asp?cate=2 say, say. So, between parents and children is a relationship of respect and trust, then it will rarely appear rebellious child. Because they feel that you are willing to listen to his explanation. 4 让孩子看得更远。当我们和孩子有了冲突的时候，首先要做的是要帮助孩子来纠正他们 的认知，当然前提是如果孩子 错了的话。因为有矛盾必然是因为看待的角度和来判断的标准有了分歧，那么孩子看待事 物的分寸和眼界有限，我们可 以帮助孩子来认知和帮助孩子看的更远。而不是直接否认他们的看法，比如小的时候，孩 子看不到人群挡住的热闹街景 ，父亲会让出自己的肩膀给孩子坐上去，就会看的更远，这就是父母的意义。 4 let the children see farther. When we and the children have a conflict, the first thing to do is to help children to correct their understanding, of course, if the child is wrong. Because there are contradictions is the inevitable result of view angle and judging standards have their differences, then the child to look at things. And the field of vision is limited, we can help children to cognitive and help children to see farther. Not directly deny their views, such as small, children cant see the crowd blocking the lively street, my father would give up their own shoulders to the child sit up, can see farther, it is the parents meaning. 5 只分析不决定。孩子有时候遇到难以决定的事情来找父母，是一种主动求援，而此时如 果你的态度强硬，非要他们这 样做，也许反而适得其反，不如来告诉他，怎么看待事物，如何分析利弊，来帮助他们清 晰自己的思路，打开自己的眼 界，有了一个清晰的分析后，孩子自然会有主意。 5 analysis does not decide. Children sometimes meet to decide things for parents, is a kind of active assistance, and if your attitude is tough, non - they have to do, but may run counter to ones desire, not to tell him, how we look at things, how to analyze the advantages and disadvantages, to help them clear their own ideas, to open their eyes, with a clear analysis, children will naturally have an idea. 6 有引导不强求。对于孩子的选择，做父母的可以告诉他们如何做比较好，如何做会欠缺 什么。在得到他想要的东西的 同时会失去什么，要让孩子有一个自己思考的空间，而不是一个只听父母话，或者只被牵 着走的孩子。 The 6 leading not importune. For the choice of children, parents can tell them how to do better, how to do it will lack what. At the same time to get what he wants will lose what, let the child have a their own space to think, rather than one which only listening to parents, or just being pulled children. 7 允许孩子犯错误。对于一个不会犯错误的孩子，是不会成功的，面对孩子的错误，首先 就是要让孩子意识到时自己错 了，而不是自己告诉孩子错了，让孩子知道事物的本身自己做错了，而不是因为父母不高 兴，所以勉强承认错误。有错 误不可怕，让孩子有自己的方法来改错，然后引导和鼓励他完成。并叮嘱他要记得这个错 误，下次不可再犯。 7 allow children to make mistakes. For a not bad kids, is not successful, the childs fault, first of all is to let the children realize their mistake, but not to tell children the wrong, let the children know the thing itself yourself wrong, not because the parents do not happy, so reluctant to admit mistakes. Mistakes is not terrible, let the children have their own way to correct, and guide and encourage him to finish. And told him to remember this error, not next time again. 8 保留孩子的喜好。有很多人望子成龙望女成凤，不允许去玩，不允许去学喜好的，一定 要争分夺秒的去学习对未来有 用的，或者对以后考大学好的。这样的孩子童年是不完美的，他失去了一个自己难以挽回 的童年，而且是以后长大后难 以弥补的缺憾。这是父母的失败，所以一定要明白，孩子可以认真学习，也可以有爱好， 这是完全可以两全的方式，只 要父母有正确的引导和时间的规划。 8 keep the childs preferences. Many people have expectations at female cheng feng, not allowed to play, not allowed to learn the preferences, we must seize every minute and second to learn useful for the future, or after the University. This child is not perfect, he lost one of his childhood is irreparable, but later grew up to irreparable regret. This is the failure of parents, so be sure to understand, the child can learn seriously, can also have a hobby, it is completely can be, as long as the parents have the correct guidance and time planning. 9 父母孩子辩论会。当一件事情孩子要坚持己见的时候，建议父母要和孩子坐下来，平等 的辩论，给孩子为自己辩解的 时间和机会，然后让父母扔掉架子，和孩子一起说出自己的理由和见解。相信这个时候， 你们的心一定很近，因为他会 觉得你们是朋友。 9 parents and children debate. When a thing the child to insist, suggested that parents and children to sit down, equality debate, for children to