学术英语科技文写作语法与文体错误分析.ppt

Scientific Paper Writing,Part I Analysis of Grammatical and Stylistic Errors,,I. Comma Splice (逗号叠加),False： （1）Technology never exists in vacuum, it is embodied in products, processes, and people. （2）Stevensons romance are entertaining, they are full of exciting adventures.,,Correct: (1) vacuum; it is (2) entertaining, for they are Tips: Comma can not be used between two complete sentences. If the contents of the two sentences are connected, we may use semicolon“;” Or we use linking words.,,II. Choppy Style(文体紊乱),Sample 1: First draft: We have established a communications Systems (CS) Planning Team (1). This team includes user representatives from each of the 12 departments in the Forever-Seal Division（2）.We hold regular meetings to assess state-of-the-art-communications equipment (3).,,We discuss how new products are being used by other companies (4). At these meetings, The user representatives describe their other future needs (5). They also work out their requirements for the new communication network （6）.,,Correct one: We have established a communications Systems (CS) Planning Team which includes division. We hold regular meetings to assess state-of-the-art- communications equipment and to discuss how new products. At these meetings, the user representatives describe their other future needs and work out their requirements for the new communication network.,,Exercise: Electric cars must be able to meet the same safety standards that gasoline cars must meet as set up by the Department of Transportation. These standards are derived from an established crash test. In the crash test, the car is propelled against a solid wall at 30 mph. The data obtained from the crash test,,are analyzed for fuel spillage, fuel system integrity, windshield retention, and zone intrusion. Sample 2: The proposed system is required to alleviate the increase in demand by using the microcomputer as a stand-alone entry system with all the necessary graphics and software capabilities to remove the burden of,,Data entry from the present system CADDS. Analysis: This is a long inexplicable sentence. Topic sentence:要求拟建的系统能缓和不得不增加的信息量。 Development：1.方法：去除现有系统CADDS的数据入口负担而达到要求。2. 设备：把微机作为独立入口系统来,,完成。这种微机具有为完成这概念所要求的所有图表以及软件能力。 修改方法： Use both long and short sentences To explain the topic by the way of general-to-specific Use cohesive devices to link two related sentences,,Correct one:,The proposed system is required to alleviate the increase in demand. The system will do that by removing the burden of data entry from the present system CADDS. This is accomplished by using the microcomputer as a stand-alone entry system. The microcomputer has all the graphics and software capabilities required to implement this concept.,,III. Excessive Use of the Passive Voice,Rules to follow: 1. Make the action-executor clearly known e.g. Now that the method has been modified, it is used to analyze the chemical heat pump dryer.(作者修改了这个方案，将它用在化学热泵干燥器中。) （correct）Now that we have modified the method, we can use it to ,,2. The contents of sentence in passive should be consistent with the fact. e.g. （1）In industry metals are often used in the form of alloys. （） （2）From these data it is seen that remote batch processing can provide batch processing at remote locations.(远程成批程序能够把成批处理发送到较远的位置。) （ ）,,Analysis of (2): “It is believed”, “it is seen” and alike usually means facts accepted by most of the people. Not everyone saw the data mentioned in sentence (2) Correct: From these data it can be seen that remote batch processing can provide batch processing at remote locations.,,3. Avoid Excessive use of the passive voice. Excessive use of passive verbs creates scientific writing that is cumbersome and indigestible to read. No more than passive sentences in a paper. With good mixture with active voice may retains the necessary clarity of meaning and propriety of tone for scientific papers.,,IV. Ambiguous Reference(指代含混),When you use pron. or modifier, to be sure that these words can replace the previous nouns. e.g. (First draft） Ground loops associated with coaxial kuksl cables are totally eliminated with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric, they do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as antennas.,,Analysis: “they” used above may refer to “fiber optic cables”, or to “ground loops ” (Correct) Ground loops associated with coaxial cables are totally eliminated with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric, fiber optic cables do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as antennas.(和同轴电缆相连接的接地线圈完全被光纤电缆所代替。因为光纤电缆是电介质，它不会被闪电电击，也不起天线的作用。),,V. Misuse of the linking words,Errors occurred usually: misuse “after all”. e.g. After all, we come to the conclusion that use “but” and “although” in the same sentence. To add “it” improperly e.g. As it was mentioned above As it is shown in figure 12 Confuse the use of “comparing to/with”,,and “compared to” or “in comparison with”. e.g. Comparing to the results Comparing these latest results to/with our earlier ones （） Misuse “Conclusively” (有决定性的) as “in conclusion” Misuse “particularly” (adv.) as “in particular”,,VI. Misleading parallelism (平行结构不平行),Use same grammatical structure for parallelism. (first draft) The principal processes are: 1. Coagulating and flocculation.凝固和絮结 2. Removing the solids 3. Nitrogen-removal (氨气) 4. Disinfection.,,(Correct) The principal processes are: 1. Coagulation and flocculation. 2. Removal of solids 3. removal of Nitrogen (氨气) 4. Disinfection,,Exercise:,The purpose of this report is to present evidence that the contracting officer acted within the range of his authority and his final opinion was binding. This filter has two important functions: to reject impulse noise signals and passing low frequency command signals without amplitude or phase distortion.,,Exercise:,The TFC engineers and I found that the selection of Hybrid Analog Transmission using FDM (Frequency Division Multiplexer) to be highly reliable, improved security of communications; complete ground isolation, free from cross-talk, sparking, short circuit loading; RFI (radio frequency interference), EMI,,(electric magnetic field), and EMP (electric magnetic polarization) immunity. TFC工程师和我发现使用FDM的混合类比传输可靠性大，大大改善通讯可靠性；与地面全部距离，没有电话干扰，火花以及短路负载等；免受无线电频率干扰，电磁场和电磁偏振的影响。,Part Two Use of Some Words and Expressions,,A lot of,Spoken form, not used in scientific papers Similar: many, much, a great deal of Above Refers to the material appeared one paragraph or several sentences before. e.g. The above explanation will help answer this question. (just mentioned),,e.g. We can adopt the explanation introduced earlier to answer this question. e.g. We can apply the explanation introduced in Section 2 to answer this question. Aforementioned and hereinafter Ancient English Aforementioned algorithm algorithm described above,,Alternate and alternative Alternate: 轮流，交替发生 Alternative 二者或多个中择一 Alternatively 另做选择 E.g. You have the alternative of working hard and being successful or if not working hard and being unsuccessful. Alternatively, we can adopt the following algorithm.,,Apparently (1)显然的, 明白的, 清晰可见的 (2)表面上的, 貌似(真实)的 Apparently, different fuel cell operation temperatures correspond to different optimal cycle configurations (最佳循环结构). Use “obviously” and “obviously” instead.,,Approach: When x increased, the value of the function approaches to zero.() Dr. Kastern proposed a new approach to solving this problem. () As follows As followings, as the followings, as below, the following, as shown below,,Aspect, area Wordy, Should be omitted. e.g. In the area of application of Genetic algorithm(遗传法则), many approaches have been proposed. many applications of Regarding the application aspect of Genetic Algorithm, many approaches have been proposed. Many approaches to application of ,,Assume assume as() assume to be () The main steam pressure is assumed as 3 MPa is assumed to be 3MPa Based on The object of “on” should related logically to the subject of the main clause When the pp. phrase can not modify the subject, we should use “on the basis of”, “by”, “from”, “according to”,,Analyze the following sentences: (1) Based on Eq. (6), it is obtained that (2) Based on the experimental results, we conclude that (3) Based on the conventional method using Lagrange multipliers, the closed form solution can be written as follows.,,Correct ones:,(1) From Eq. (6), it is obtained that Eq. (6) entails that (2) On the basis of the experimental results, we conclude that (3) According to the conventional method using Lagrange multipliers, (4) Based on the advanced digital technology, the Nikon Cool Pix 995 camera provides the excellent performance. (),,Belong Belong usually means wealth belongings, or divided into one category. In scientific paper, when we say one item should be one part of one kind, we say “to fall into the category of” or “to be a form of”, “to be classified as” e.g. This problems is a type of nonlinear programming problem.,,Case: 情况，事例 Followed by “in which” or “when”, “where”, but not “that” e.g. Let us now examine the case that the mass flow rate of air is smaller than 3 kg/s. () in which,,Conclusion The collocation of conclusion: State conclusion, present conclusion Make conclusions, give conclusions () e.g. Finally, we make a conclusion in section 5. () state The final section of the paper gives the conclusion. () states,,Details Describe in detail, a detailed description The details will be described in the next section. The details of will be described A detailed description of will be given in the next section.,,Give: Better use “state”, “present”, “propose” to show “提出， 给出” e.g. The concept of “sequential Combustion” developed by ABB is given in this paper. is presented/ is described/ is stated Method for “method for/of” is better than “method to do”,,We selected the method to solve this problem. for solving this problem Show Dont use show to mean “提出” e.g. Simulation(模拟) results are shown in section 3 of the paper. are presented Can not be used to introduce equation e.g. The total heat removal rate can then be shown as follows. be expressed,,Exercise: Try to correct the following sentences.,1. Although the new process has many advantages, but there are some weak points in it. 2. A large amount of samples are used for our experiments. 3. The humidifier does not work anymore. 4. Based on the research, we draw the conclusion that ,,5. There are basically two types of new simulation method. 6. Because of the fact that electricity can change into other forms of energy, it is widely used in industry. 7. Because that no machine ever runs without some friction, overcoming that friction wastes energy. 8. Because our home market was too small to support economic lamp production, so we have had to export our products from our earliest days.,,9. Besides, sending these messages electronically eliminates the need for 100 pieces of paper. 10. They will call this installation as Heat Pump Dryer (HPD). 11. A refrigeration system is comprised of four main components. 12. For practical purpose, the wall temperature may be considered as a constant.,,13. Figure 10 demonstrates the natural irrational frequencies for trucks. 14. A kilometer equals to 1000 meters. 15. First we will give the governing equations in the Cartesian coordinates. 16. In such case, the results should be different from the previous one.,Writing Techniques,,I. Enumeration(列举),Functions: To list all the sub-items in one category. Convenience for readers to have a full and complete understanding to the category.,,Used when you: List the set of equipments List finished and unfinished items of your process report List all advantages and disadvantages of a new product. Two ways to enumerate: Use marks, such as 1.2.3.or A.B.C Enumerate when you state.,,Useful Expression:,Include, such as; includefrom to Containsparts; all the fromto; are , which include; are made with,,Samples:,1. The definition of a breakwater(挡水板) is general. It includes everything from a simple pile of stones to an ordered pile of concrete blocks to a solid wall of cement. Logically, these different breakwater designs, utilizing different materials, have varying degrees of effectiveness at shunting wave action.,,2. We recommend the New Orleans heat exchanger Advantages of this system are: (1) Automatic control (2) Lower operating cost. Disadvantages are: (1) Probably slugging of liquid refrigerant to compressors(压缩机). (2) complex automatic control,,II. Comparison and Contrast (比较和对比),Difference: Comparison is used to compare the similarities of the two things in one category Contrast is for differences between them.,,Commonly Used Expressions,The purpose: be compared with for the purpose of/to, in order to, so that comparisons were performed in order to determine (for the purpose of determining/ so that we could determine),,The Object: is (are) compared with (among /between) By comparison with/ compared to/In comparison with The Basis: is used as the basis for comparing Comparisons were based on The basic criterion for comparison is,,Examples:,A series of comparisons were performed in order to determine the difference between quantitatively measured and predicted temperatures The best result was then used as the basis for comparing the accuracies estimated using Equations 1 and 2.,,III. Cause and Effect,Used in the following items: Logical argumentation Explain the reasons Predict some events Explain a process,,Commonly Used Expressions,1. From cause to effect This accounts for the fact that It was partly for these reasons that cause (generate / yield / bring about / give rise to / result in / lead to) This explains why As a consequence / As a result/ the consequence is,,From effect to cause result from because / since is attributable to (due to / effected by ) is determined by (decided by / caused by) As a result of The reason why was that,,IV. Induction and Deduction (归纳和演绎),Induction: from specific to general Dedu