读后续写给80岁母亲的礼物.ppt

读后续写讲评 一 原文分析WHO maincharacters relationship Theoldlady Myra smother ThepostmanMyra theoldlady sdaughter Myra shusband Mayor theoldlady sson in law Mrs Morrison maybethelady sneighbour Mrs Grant thelady sneighbour Johnnie thelady sneighbour Jim maybeoneofherrelatives WHEN Theoldlady seightiethbirthday WHERE Theoldlady shome WHAT Itwasthelady seightiethbirthday Althoughshehadreceivedmanypresentsfromherneighbours shewasstilllookingforwardtoherdaughter spresent whichshewassureherdaughterwouldneverforget Havingmadefullpreparations shestoodbythewindow expectingthearrivalofthepost Atlast onlyanenvelopefromMyraarrived theoldladyalmostunwillinglytoreitopen Maincharacters Theoldlady Myra Johnnie livealonelookedafterbyherneighbours Myrawouldn tforgethermother sbirthday evenifsheseldomwroteatothertimes Ofcourseshewasbusy TheoldladywasproudofMyra HerherbandhadbeenmadeMayor andMyraherselfhadgotamedalforherwork Perhaps perhapsMyramightcome Afterall eightywasaspecialbirthday Thelittleboy Johnnie hadbeenupwithapacketofmints andsaidhewouldn tgoouttoplayuntiltheposthadcome successful ambitious diligentselfish lackthesenseofresponsibilityShemayfeelregrefulfornotattendingtohermom Hiscompanycomfortstheoldlady sheart Contrasttohighlighttheoldlady slonelinessOrletusreflectonMyra sabsenceofresponsibilitytotakecareofhermomPredictwouldshecometothepartyornot ThereasonableplotTheme What stheauthor spurposeofwritingthisstory What sthebestgift Itisoneofthetragediesthatchildrenregretinthelaterdaysnotbeingabletorewardparents lovebeforetheypassaway Nothingcouldbebetterthanthecompanyofherdaughter 二 每段的开头语分析 用下划线标出关键词 Para1 Shestoodbythewindow watching Whydidshestandbythewindow Howdidshefeelwhilewaiting What Whodidshewatchthatcouldaddtothefeelingofloneliness excitement hope Howlongdidshewatch thesunrisesunsetthesunrose sank setdownDidshereceiveagiftoraletter Didherdaughtercome WhosenthertheletterthepostmanorJohnnie Whatwashisfeeling Howdidshefeelseeingtheletter Contrast 第一段应该包含以下内容 Asthepostmanpassedby abeamofdisappointmentsweptoverher HopesofreceivingthepresentfromMyraseemedtobefadingaway OnseeingwhatJohnniecarried hersmilefrozeabruptly Sheshookherhead withatremblingvoice Facedwithsuchafrustratingsituation shekeptwaitingwiththeexpectationfadingaway However itseemedthatGodplayedatrickonhersincesherecievedtheletterwhenshewasalmostoverwhelmedbyadeepsenseofdespair 段子妍Theshiningfromeyesfadedaway whichwassubstitutedbythedesperationandthenumbsense suddenly arapidsoundoffootstepsfiredherhopeagain Staredatbytheboywithdissatisfactionandsuspicion shewasatalossaboutwhattodo 储加明 Theshineonhereyesfadedaway sheturningbacktothetickenwithaheavygait step Hardlyhadshedecidedtocutthecakewhenthedoorbellrang Theoldladyrushedtothedoor openingitwithatremblinghand Suddenly asmileofunderstandingflashedacrossherface Shehuggedtheboy tearsgatheringinhereyes 钱艺ShestillfailtocatchsightofMyra feelingasuddensurgeofdisappointment theonlyfireofexpectationfadingaway Whensheintendedtogiveupwaiting Johnnierushedupstairsatfullspeed graspinganenvelopfirmly 章祎玮 Thelittleboycastadelightedlookonhisfaceaswell Hestaredatthestreetuntilthepostmancameintohissight Herantowardsthepostman onlytobegivenaletter Withahintofsadness theladypickeduptheletter 詹雨 两段话内容如何顺畅衔接及第二句的关键部分 Didherfeelingchangewhenshereceivedtheenvelope Howdoyouknow Para2 Almostunwillinglyshetoretheenvelopeopen herfeelingchange joy expectation disappointment 续写的第二段要包含以下内容 Whatwasintheenvelope Therelayacardpeacefully whichread said Howdidshefeelwhenseeingthething s intheenvelope Didsheseeherdaughteratlength Didshereceivesomegifts Whatwasthebestgiftforher Whatwastheendofthestory ahappyending asadending outofexpectation disappointment excitement relief Contrast 四 语言基础随着时间的流逝里面有一张卡片 上面写着 一个孤独的身影站在门口 眼中充满了期待 一个熟悉的身影出现在门口 眼中含有泪水 With Timegoingby proceeding Astimeproceeded Inside Therelayacard whichread said Therestoodalonelyfigurebythedoor with eyesfilledwithexpectation 独立主格 Bythedoorstoodalonelyfigure Thereappearedafamiliarfigureatthedoor eyesfilledwithtears Atthedoorappearedafamiliarfigure eyesfilledwithtears Afamiliarfigurecameintohersight 四 语言基础5房间里很安静 6突然7我很想陪伴你度过生日我最想要的是女儿的陪伴很抱歉我不能参加生日party9 Thewholeroomwasinsilence Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablancketofsilence Thewholeroomwasindeadlysilence withonlythedeepbreathandthepumpingheartforcompany Abruptly Allofasudden I mdesperatetoaccompanyyou tokeepyoucompany I msorryIfailtoattendyourbirthdayparty I msorryformyabsencefromyour WhatIreallydesirewasmydaughter scompany 四 多种表达训练1 她一想到女儿可能会来陪伴她 心里感到一阵激动 On Uponthinkingthatherdaughterwouldcometoaccompanyher shewasovercome overwhelmedbyexcitement Theinstantshethoughtherdaughterwouldcometoaccompanyher anairofexitementfloatedintheair Nosoonerhadshethoughtofherdaughter scomingforcompanythansheheldherbreathwithheartpumpingwildly Hereyestwinkledwithpleasuretheinstantshethoughtherdaughterwouldcome Thebloodpulsedthroughherveins Herfacewaslit brightenedwithexcitement Tearsstreameddownherfacebeforeanyword 2 一看到手里的信封 她感到很失落 On Uponseeingtheenvelopeinthehand shefeltdisappointed indespair Theinstantshesawtheenvelopwithafamiliarsigature herheartsankintoanabyssofdisappiontment Nosoonerhadsheseentheenvelopwithafamiliarsigaturethanherheartsankintoanabyssofdisappiontment Shestaredattheenvelopedwithafamiliarsignature thebrightnessonherfacefadingaway 独立主格 Shecastadisappointedlookontheletter 詹雨Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablanketofsilence Sherushedtothemailboxinexcitement onlytofindtherewasmerelyanenvelop Disappointedasshewas shetookitout Deeplytouched shesobbedwithhappiness Throughhermistyeyes shesaw 李梁钧Sodisappointedwasshethatherbodyshudderedslightly 汪燕超Thedeliciouscaketastedbittertoday 梅秀玲 3 收到了来自女儿的礼物后 她心里乐开了花 Havingreceivedthepresentfromherdaughter shejumpedtojoy letoutascream 具体的动作 Havingreceivedthepresentfromherdaughter shewasoverjoyed shewaswildwithjoy Whenshereceived herfacewaslightenedwithhappiness Herlivelyeyesglittered 闪烁 liketheblackpearlsfullofjoy 瞿比喻 Thebloodpulsedthroughherveins Anairofdelight happinessfloatedintheair 比喻Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablanketofhapiness Thewholeroomwasbathedinhappiness Smileclimbedontheoldlady sfaceimmediatelywithairfilledwithwarmth 舒露Abittersmileclimbedonherface Inaninstant sherushedtotaketheenvelop butitwasnotaddressed Tearsrolleddownherface Iloveyou too sherepliedwithasatisfiedandsweetsmile 鲍可润 4 看完了信 她非常生气 Afterreadingtheletter shefeltannoyed shelosthertemper Afterreadingtheletter shehittheceiling wenthotunderthecollar 勃然大怒 with thewholebodytrembling 独立主格 Soannoyedwasshethatshetoreitintopieceswithtremblingfingers 倒装 Whatshesaidinthelettermadeherbloodboil 夸张 Havingreadtheletter shetoreitintopieceswithtremblingfingers 具体动作 Para1 Shestoodbythewindow watching Itwasnotuntilnoo