33ThingstoAcceptandEmbrace.doc

33 Things to Accept and Embrace 发布时间：2012-09-04文章出自：原文链接：点击查看“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” Thich Nhat Hanh Today is my 33rd birthday, and at this very moment I am likely sipping a fruity drink by a pool in Las Vegas. My boyfriend and I go there often on his Monday and Tuesday off days because its not too far from LA; the weekday hotel rates are great; and were both huge fans of buffets, shows, and (occasional) poolside day drinking. Since Im writing this in advance, I cant speak to how I actually feel right in this very moment, but I imagine (and hope) it will be a little something like this: Im wearing a bikini, not a one-piece, like I did for years when I was youngerand Im rocking it with confidence because Ive finally decided my imperfect 51 figure is flawsome. Im fully lathered in sunscreen, despite my pasty, almost transparent complexion, because Ive realized I need to take care of my body if I want it to be healthy. Im mesmerized by the sun and the water, and easing into the moment, despite having a ton of work to do and even more professional uncertainty. And Im grateful for a million and one things worth lovingsmiling strangers, free WiFi, enjoyable work I do through it, and time to disconnect from it. Looking back over the years, I realize my biggest challenge has always been learning to let go. I put so much energy into trying to control my body, my relationships, and my future that I wasnt able to relax and enjoy the moment. This is something I still work at, but Ive made a lot of progress. So in honor of this day, I decided to share with you 33 things Ive learned to accept and embrace: 1. Beauty cannot be defined. Beauty is a reflection of what we deem valuable. For me, its an inner radiance and bliss that transcends judgment and fear, or at least makes an effort to. 2. Perfection cannot be obtained (and its boring anyways). Trying to be perfect makes us feel inferior and desperate to change; owning our uniqueness makes us feel worthy and excited to evolve. 3. Love will be messy at times. Sometimes love looks nothing like the ideal. Unless youre in an unhealthy relationship, lean into the messiness. Thats where the intimacy is. 4. Other people will judge. Doing our best and accepting that people will form opinions is far more empowering than stressing about what everyone else thinks. 5. Sometimes there is no right or wrong. There isnt always a right decision or answer. Its just about what feels right to us right now, and whether we have the courage to honor it. 6. No one else knows whats right for us. Someone else may seem certain they know what we should do. Should can be deceiving; it seduces us with the promise of an ideal destination when what we really need is to choose for ourselves and then pave our path as we go. 7. Tomorrow is uncertain. Despite all our planning, plotting, worrying, or dreading, what will be will beand no matter how scared we feel right now, we can and will make the most of it. 8. There are things we dont know. And there are things we dont know that we dont know. It might be humbling to revise our understandings of things, but this is how we grow. 9. No other person can make us feel whole. Sometimes well feel a void and turn to other people to fill it. Mutually fulfilling relationships involve two whole people who complement, not complete each other. 10. We cant change other people. We have to want to change in order to do it. No matter how much we wish someone would act differently, it has to be his or her choice. 11. There are some things we cant change about ourselves. Change sells, and its seductive, but certain things cannot be changedlike parts of our body or nature. 12. Sometimes there are gifts in the things we want to change. For years I cursed my heightened emotions; now I channel them into something positive. Dont run from yourself; grow into yourself. 13. We are worthy, just as we are. Growth is a lifelong proposition, with no static endpoint. We do it not because we lack value, just as we are, but because we value ourselves. 14. We are going to age. With every year that passes, we have 365 days to enjoy that ageand no one age is better than another. Each is different, with its own challenges and gifts. 15. We are more than any one role. We arent one-dimensional, and we dont have to be. Recognizing this has been huge for me. I am a self-help writer who also likes Judd Apatow movies, karaoke bars, and eBay. Im multifaceted and owning it! 16. We are going to redefine ourselves. Its tempting to cling to roles and ideas of who we are, but who we are is always evolving. Lifes far more fulfilling if we see changes as adventures. 17. We will occasionally have to do things we dont want to do. We wont always love the things we need to do, for work or the people we care about, but we can find something enjoyable in it, if thats our intention. 18. We will hurt at times. Pain is inevitable. Its not a sign that somethings wrong with us or our lives; its a sign that were human, and we have the courage to care and live fully. 19. We will mess up at times. We will make mistakesand sometimes the same ones over and over again. This is a big part of how we learn. The important thing is that we do. 20. People wont always forgive us. We cant make someone stay in our lives; we can only make amends and then be strong enough to accept the consequences of our actions. 21. Peace is forgiving ourselves. We dont deserve to cower in shameand it wont do us any good. If we want to be happy, we need to cut ourselves some slack and believe were doing the best we can. 22. We wont always like the consequences of our actions. Sometimes well feel regret, wishing we could go back and do things differently. We cantbut we can make different choices going forward. 23. We always have a choice in how we respond to what happens. No matter what our circumstances, we can choose what we do with them. We can decide its the end of the world, or start fresh from right where we stand. 24. We are never alone. It might feel like it, but there is always someone to offer love, kindness, and support. We just need to be willing to reach out and ask for what we need. 25. We will lose things and people we lovebut we can gain something from every loss. Everything in life is impermanentand no amount of time will feel like enough with the people we love. Loss hurts, be we can heal if we believe its possible. 26. Everything is cyclical. For every pain, there will be pleasure. Nothing stays the same, so relax through the tough times and fully enjoy the fun times. Everything transforms eventually. 27. There are some things we may never understand. Much of life is a mystery, and its human nature to try to solve it. Peace is learning to embrace the open-ended questions. 28. The worst that could possibly happen may happen. Sometimes the thing we fear the most may happen, making us wish we didnt make a change, or an effort, or a fuss. 29. The worst that could possibl