chapter 3.3 unity and coherence.ppt

1、,Effective Sentences,Effective Sentences,Unity Coherence Conciseness Emphasis variety,Lack of unity,Dream of the Red Mansion is the best-known novel. Better: Dream of the Red Mansion is one of the best-known classical Chinese novels.,Lack of Unity,Shakespeare, whose elder daughter, Susanna, married

2、Dr. John Hall, is the only English dramatist before the late nineteenth century whose plays are still frequently performed. Tom often gets up at 7 oclock, and he is my best friend.,Dont separate sentences that are closely related.,The mine explosion killed six workers. The owners adopted safety meas

3、ures. Revised: After the mine explosion killed six workers, the owners adopted safety measures.,Coherence (连贯性）,连贯性指一句话中单词及词组之间前后衔接自然，合乎逻辑，意义连贯一致，明白易懂 句子里的单词的通顺的和谐的有条理的安排,Coherence,Misplaced modifier Dangling modifier Unclear pronoun reference unnecessary shifts in person or number Unnecessary chang

4、e in the voice, tense, or mood of verbs (mood: indicative/imperative/subjunctive) Unparallel structure,To get ready for the trip, all the things she needed were put into a suitcase. Better: To get ready for the trip, she put all the things she needed into a suitcase.,Dangling modifier,The lost child

5、 was finally found wandering in a frozen farmers field. Better: The lost child was finally found wandering in a farmers frozen field.,Misplaced modifier,This morning the president and a group of students were talking and ten minutes later they left. Better: This morning the president and a group of

6、students were talking for ten minutes before the latter/students left.,Unclear Pronoun Reference,An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you should not plagiarize. Better: An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, he/she should

7、not plagiarize. Better: An important thing for students to remember is that when writing a paper, they should not plagiarize.,Unnecessary Shift in person,The explosion destroyed the building and a number of people were injured. Better: The explosion destroyed the building and injured a number of peo

8、ple. Better: In the explosion the building was destroyed and a number of people were injured.,Unnecessary change in voice,She reviewed the lesson taught last week and all the exercises assigned by the teacher were done. Better: She reviewed the lesson taught last week and did all the exercise assign

9、ed by the teacher.,Unnecessary change in voice,Cook the mixture slowly, and you should stir it until the sugar is dissolved. Revised: Cook the mixture slowly, and stir it until the sugar is dissolved.,Unnecessary change in mood,Parallel Structure,Expressions of the same function should have the same

10、 grammatical form.,A. To walk in the rain and to smell bread baking are two of my greatest pleasures. B. She has traveled by land, by sea, and by air. C. Buying a car and beginning her job were the next steps in her life. D. The danger of the past was that men became slaves; the danger of the future

11、 is that men may become robots.,I teach because I like the pace of the academic calendar I teach because teaching is a profession built on change I teach because I like the freedom to make my own mistakes, to learn my own lessons, to stimulate myself and my students I teach because I like to ask que

12、stions that students must struggle to answer. I teach because.,Why use parallelism? Which is better?,1)It is important for engineers to think logically, to analyze carefully, and that they should have realistic decision-making capabilities. 2) It is important for engineers to think logically, to ana

13、lyze carefully, and to make decisions realistically. clarity/conciseness/emphasis/rhythm -an effective device to improve writing,Parallel,The teacher taught with skill and humorously. The teacher taught with skill and humor. The teacher taught skillfully and humorously.,Parallel,To be a doctor and c

14、uring the sick are my goals. To be a doctor and to cure the sick are my goals. Being a doctor and curing the sick are my goals.,You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you cant _ fool all of the people all of the time.,Constructions requiring paral

15、lelism,1) elements linked by coordinating conjunctions (and, or) 2)elements linked by correlative conjunctions (bothand, not onlybut also, notbut, eitheror,) 3)items in a list or a series of headings 4)elements linked in comparisons,It was both a long ceremony and tedious. Revised: The ceremony was

16、both long and tedious.,Using parallelism for elements being compared or contrasted,Weak: It is better to die with dignity than live in shame. Revised: It is better to die with dignity than to live in shame.,A notorious miser was called on by the chairman of the community charity. “Sir,” said the fun

17、d-raiser, “our records show that despite your wealth, youve never once given to our fund-raising drive(运动).” “Do your records show that _ _ Do your records show that_? Do your records show that_ ? “No, sir,” replied the embarrassed volunteer. “Our records dont show those things.” “Well, I dont give

18、to any of them, so why should I give anything to you?”,I have an elderly mother who was left penniless when my father died?”,“Do your records show that I have an elderly mother who was left penniless when my father died?” “Do your records show that I have a disabled brother who is unable to work? Do

19、 your records show that I have a widowed sister with small children who can barely make ends meet?”,Parallel,Confusing: He stood up for his principles by not paying his taxes and spending a night in jail. (Did he spend a night in jail or not?) Revised: He stood up for his principles by not paying hi

20、s taxes and by spending a night in jail.,Confusing: The boy denied that he had entered the house and he had taken the money. The boy denied that he had entered the house and he had taken the money. Revised: The boy denied that he had entered the house and that he had taken the money.,Notice: The cla

21、uses that are introduced by words such as that, which, who, because, when should not be missed in terms of parallelism. I love you not because_ but because _,EXERCISE 1. A farmer spends his life tilling the land, sowing the seeds, and he reaps the fruits of his labor. 2. The young man walked quickly

22、 and with confidence up to the witness stand. 3. He is a man known for his integrity, and is honest in business. 4. Love is caring for another person and you know how he or she feels without asking. 5. She either is a painter or a musician. 6. She is not only well-known in China but also many other countries.,1. A farmer spends his life tilling the land, sowing the seeds, and he reaps the fruits of his labor. Revised: A farmer spends his life tilling the land, sowing the s