《哈佛大学公开课：幸福课》第9-12集英中字幕

目录第9集2第10集41第11集81第12集125第9集SOFIRSTIWANNASAY“HI“TOTHEEXTENSIONSCHOOL新集首先我想向进修学院的同学问好WEHAVE350STUDENTSWATCHINGOURLECTUREEVERYDAY,每天有350名学生观看我们的课程SOIWANNASAY“HI“TOTHEM所以我想向他们打声招呼ANDACTUALLYIWANNASPECIALLYINVITETHEEXTENSIONSCHOOL我其实特别想邀请进修学院的同学ANDEVERYBODYHERETOSEEOURVERYMODESTTAL以及在座各位来观看我们谦逊的泰勒老师HEDIDNTTELLUSHEWASON60MINUTES他没跟我们说他上了六十分钟时事THATSOK这无所谓BUTSATURDAYNIGHT但是本周六晚上TALISGOINGTOBETHEHONORARYBASKETBALLCOACHFORTHEWOMENSTEAM泰勒将担任我校女篮队的荣誉教练THEGAMEAGAINSTCORNELL周六晚7点ONSATURDAYAT7OCLOCK,我校女篮将于与康奈尔大学对决WHICHISTHEBIGGESTGAMEOFTHESEASON这可是本赛季最劲爆的比赛6OCLOCKONSATURDAYTHEBIGGESTGAMEINTHESEASON周六晚6点本赛季最令人期待的比赛WEACTUALLYWANNASEEEVERYONEOFYOUHERE我们真心希望在座的每一位ANDEVERYBODYINEXTENSIONSCHOOLATTHEGAME以及所有进修学院的同学们都能到场EXTENSIONSTUDENTSIWILLHAVEFREETICKETSFORYOU我为进修学院的学生准备了免费入场券IMEANMOSTOFYOU,AHUNDREDOFYOU大概100来张ANDSOINHONOROFTHAT为了庆祝这一盛事WEHAVEANHONORARYSTUDENT我们特意邀请了一位荣誉学员ANDANHONORARYTEAM,及其荣誉队伍WHICHISOURVERYFAMOUSKATHYDELANEYSMITH,我们大名鼎鼎的美国最佳教练得主AWARDWINNINGANDMOSTFABULOUSCOACHINTHEWHOLENATION凯西德莱尼史密斯ANDOURWOMENSBASKETBALLTEAMISHERE还有我们的女篮姑娘COMEONUPTHESEAREOURHONORARYSTUDENTS来上来这些都是我们的荣誉学员THEREYOUGOTHEYARESHY来吧她们有点害羞ALRIGHTSOCOMECOMETOSEETHEM好的所以希望大家都到场ACTUALLYILLBETHEREWITHALLMYFRIENDSANDFAMILY我和我的家人朋友也都会去TALWILLSIGNINYOURHAND泰勒还会在你们的手上签名ALRIGHTREADYGUYS好准备好了吗THISISTHEBIGGESTGAME这可是本季最炙手可热的比赛THESEARETHEIVYLEAGUECHAMPSLASTYEAR她们去年戴上了常春藤联盟赛冠军的桂冠ALRIGHTGIVETHEMATHROWTHROWTHEMOUTTHROW好扔给他们扔出去扔出去THEMOUTGOGOGOLETSGOTHROWTHROWHALETSGO继续来吧扔吧扔吧扔起ALRIGHTTHANKYOU好谢谢TALTHANKSILLSEEYOUONSATURDAY泰勒谢谢周六见GOODLUCKTHANKS祝你们好运谢谢OK好IDIDNTPLANTHISBUT这个原本不在我计划之内但是ALRIGHT好了ALRIGHTDOIHAVEANYTHINGELSE好了我身上还有东西吗NOOK没有好THANKYOUANDTHANKYOU谢谢在座的每一位ANDWEAREGONNACONTINUETALKINGABOUTGRATITUDE我们继续谈感恩LASTTIMEIENDEDBYTALKINGABOUTMYROLEMODEL在上次课程的尾声谈到了我的榜样THEPERSONWHOTOMEEXEMPLIFIESMORETHANANYONEELSE,听了她的经历我比别人都更懂得WHATATRUEBENEFITFINDERIS何为一个真正的知足常乐者ANDWHENITOLDABOUTMYGRANDMOTHERITOLDTHE当我讲到我外婆时我说道ITOLDYOUHOWSHEWASNTIGNORINGWHATWASNTWORKING,她并没有无视生活中力力所不及的那一面SHEWASNTIGNORINGTHEEVIL,她也不刻意去回避生命中的阴暗THEBAD,THENEGATIVEINHERLIFE回避人生的逆境消极HOWEVER,THESAMETIMESHEREFUSEDTOIGNORETHEPOSITIVE但她同时也不会忽略生命中积极的那一面INOTHERWORDSWHATSHEINSISTEDONWASSTAYINGINREAL,BEINGREAL,也就是说她始终坚持活在现实里BEINGCONNECTEDTOWHATWASAROUNDHER,把自己同周遭的境遇紧密相联ANDWHENITWASEVILANDBAD,SHEWASCONNECTEDTOTHAT遭遇困顿和磨难时她直面人生的惨淡ANDATTHESAMETIMESHEWASALSOCONNECTEDTOTHEGOOD同时依然关注生命的美好BENEFITFINDERISNOTABOUTBEINGADETACHEDPOLLYANNA知足常乐并不是不问世事的盲目乐观FARFROMIT完全不是THEQUESTIONTHATWEASKEDLASTTIME,上次课我们提出了一个问题ANDIWANTTOENDTHELECTURETODAYONGRATITUDE今天我们将结束感恩这一话题BEFOREWEMOVEONTOCHANGE,开始探讨“改变“WASWHYARENOTMOREPEOPLEBENEFITFINDERS为什么很多人无法成为知足常乐者呢WHYAREMOREPEOPLENOTOPTIMISTIC为什么很多人都不乐观呢IMEANYOUSAWTHERESEARCH想必你们也有所耳闻研究表明PEOPLELIVELONGER,当代人们享有更长的寿命THEYAREHAPPIER,HEALTHIER,MORESUCCESSFUL他们更幸福更健康更成功WHYISNTANYONEBENEFITFINDER这种情况下为何还会有人不知足呢WHYARENTALLOPTIMISTS为什么有人还是不够达观呢IFITPAYSINBOTHTHEULTIMATECURRENCY,如果在终极的货币体系THECURRENCYOFHAPPINESS幸福的货币体系中ASWELLASINHARDCURRENCY,以及困难或成功的货币体系中SUCCESSCURRENCY这方面的研究果真正确的话WHYARENOTMOREPEOPLEBENEFITFINDERS为什么还是有人成不了知足常乐者呢ANDTHEANSWERTOTHATWASTOGREATEXTENDBECAUSEOFTHEMEDIA其根源很大一部分原因在于媒体WHATWEHAVEINTHEMEDIA我们的媒体不断ISMAGNIFYING,ZOOMINGIN,MAGNIFYINGTHENEGATIVE,夸大和集中报道消极的事物MAXIMIZINGIT将其无限放大HAVINGITTAKETHEENTIRESCREEN,THEENTIREPAGE让这些阴暗面充斥荧屏占尽报纸版面WHILEMINIMIZINGTHEPOSITIVES于是积极的一面受尽压缩ANDINMANYWAYSTHEMEDIAMAKESFAULTFINDERSOUTOFUS媒体使出浑身解数想让我们变得自怨自艾ANDWENEEDTOCOUNTFORTHAT我们必须对此予以抵制HOWDOWECOUNTFORTHATONTHEMACROLEVEL宏观上来讲有哪些抵制方式呢BYHAVINGGOODNEWSCHANNELSFOREXAMPLE比如建立积极信息传播渠道ONTHEMACROLEVELBYHAVINGMOREINSPIRINGART比如提倡鼓舞人心的艺术YOUKNOWARTTHROUGHOUTHISTORYHASCHANGEDTHEWORLD,纵观历史艺术改变了世界黑暗年代天文学术语此处指混沌时代喻意黑暗消极的时期WHETHERITWASDURINGTHEDARKAGES无论是从黑暗年代ANDTHETRANSITIONTOTHERENAISSANCE,还是到文艺复兴的过渡阶段WHETHERITWASDURINGTHE18THAND19THCENTURIES还是18至19世纪WITHROMANTICARTISTS浪漫主义艺术家们ANDPAVINGTHEROADTOFREEDOM,朝自由之路奋进的过程中WHETHERITWASIN1930SAND1940S,抑或是20世纪30到40年代WITHTHERENAISSANCEINMANYWAYSOFHOLLYWOOD欣欣向荣的好莱坞产业BRINGINGMOREHOPETOPEOPLE使世人重拾信心的岁月里SOARTPLAYSAVERYIMPORTANTROLE艺术皆起着举足轻重的作用ANDHOPEFULLYWILLCONTINUETODOSO且其影响力还将延续下去SOTHENWETALKEDABOUTTHEGLOBALLEVEL,THEMACROLEVEL以上是我们从宏观层面分析的应对策略ONTHEMICROLEVEL而站在微观的角度WETALKEDABOUTNOTWAITINGFORBADTHINGSTOHAPPEN,我们已经谈过切勿等到不幸发生FORTRAGEDY,等到悲剧上演之后FORSOMETHINGEXTERNALTOHAPPEN等待一些外因的出现FORUSTOBEGRATEFUL促使我们感激BECAUSEWHENWEAREGRATEFUL因为唯有心怀感激BYDEFINITIONWEDONTTAKESOMETHINGFORGRANTED我们才不会把一切视为理所当然ANDTHENWESHAREDANDYOUALSOREAD之后我们分享了阅读材料里THERESEARCHONGRATITUDE关于感恩的研究这里的EXERCISE是指上节课TAL提到的“每天写五件感恩的事情“THEKEYWHENDOINGIT,WHENDOINGTHISEXERCISE,尝试的关键就在于ANDASISAIDIDOITEVERYSINGLEDAY,如我之前所说我每天都会去做IVEDONETHISSINCETHE19THSEPTEMBER1999,自1999年9月19号开始EVERYSINGLEDAY,RELIGIOUSLY从未间断过THEKEYTODOINGIT其关键ANDNOTTAKINGTHISEXERCISEFORGRANTED就是保持新鲜感ISBYMAINTAINFRESHNESSTHROUGH这样就不会对感恩感到麻木IFYOUWANTDOINGITONCEAWEEK,如果你每周做一次ITSBETTERTODOITONCEAWEEKMINDFULLY每周全神贯注地尝试一次THANDOINGEVERYDAYANDJUSTTAKEITFORGRANTED肯定比每天想当然地来上一次的效果要好OKCHECKDIDTHAT好了这个做完了画勾BUTIDEALLYYOUWANNADOITEVERYDAY但最为理想的情况还是每天坚持BECAUSEBYDOINGITEVERYDAY,因为如果每天进行THATSWHENYOUFORMAHABIT久而久之你将形成习惯THATSWHENYOUTRANSFORMYOURTHINKING进而改变自身的思想ANDIFYOUDOITEVERYDAY,并且如果你每天坚持THEKEYISTOVARY,最为重要的一点在于多样性TOTHINKABOUTDIFFERENTASPECTSEVERYDAY,每天都从不同的角度切入TOTHINKABOUTDIFFERENTASPECTSOFYOURFAMILY如果你每天给家人写信IFYOUWRITETOYOURFAMILYEVERYDAY,你可以涉及家庭的方方面面TOWRITEABOUTWORKONEWEEK,或者本周以工作为主题TOWRITEABOUTHOMETHENEXTWEEK下周写写家庭什么的MAINTAININGMINDFULNESS,集中精力FOCUSINGONDIFFERENTTHINGSYOUDIDNTNOTICEBEFORE,着眼于以往未曾关注过的事物“CREATINGNOVELDISTINCTIONS“借用艾伦兰格的话ASELLENLANGERWOULDSAY“发觉生活中的不寻常“ANDVISUALIZE并将其具象化SOWHENYOUARETHINKINGABOUTYOURGIRLFRIENDORBOYFRIEND所以当你想起你的女朋友或男朋友ANDWRITINGYOURGRATITUDE,打算给他们写信表达感激之情时VISUALIZETHEM脑海中要有他们的身影WHENYOUARETHINKINGABOUTTHEMEAL当你回忆刚刚在食堂THATYOUJUSTHADINYOURDINNINGHALLWHICHWASDELICIOUS吃过的那顿美食时THINKABOUTIT,VISUALIZEIT,请仔细回忆并在脑海中将其具象化MAKEITASREALASPOSSIBLE尽可能地使其显现得真实ITSHOWCHILDRENTHINK小孩子就是这样看待事物的ANDTHATSWHYCHILDRENHAVETHISFRESHNESSONADAYTODAY也正是如此他们每天都倍感新鲜THEYDONTTAKEANYTHINGFORGRANTED他们不会把任何事视为理所当然THEYSEELIFEASMIRACLE生命在他们眼里就是个奇迹爱默生美国思想家文学家诗人YOUKNOWEMERSONONCESAID爱默生曾说过“IFTHESTARSWOULDSHINEONCEINATHOUSANDYEARS,“倘若群星千年只闪耀一次WEWOULDALLLOOKUPANDPRAISETHEGLORYOFTHISWORLD我们便都会举头赞扬世界的光辉BUTBECAUSETHEYSHINEEVERYDAY,但就因为它们每天都会闪耀WETAKETHEMFORGRANTED“所以我们就不以为然“FORCHILDRENTHATDOESNTEXIST,而孩子们却不这么看ANDPARTOFREASONWHYITDOESNTEXIST一部分原因则是ISBECAUSETHEYDONTTHINKAUTOMATICALLY,CONCEPTUALLY他们不会想当然地用概念去思考THEYTHINKMOREPERCEPTUALLY,他们更倾向于运用感性ORSENSUALLY,或是感官去感受ANDTHEYREMAINCONNECTEDTOTHEREAL从而使自己与切实的事物联系起来ANDWECANDOITSIMPLYBYVISUALIZING通过具象化我们也可以做到这一点詹姆斯哈佛大学行为科学楼THISISAWONDERFULRESEARCHDONEHERE,我们曾经在詹姆斯的8楼WILLIAMJAMESHALL,8THFLOOR做过这方面的精彩研究THEKEYTOTHISASTOANYCHANGE我们将用两节多课时THATWELLTALKABOUTWEGONNADEVOTEMORETHAN2LECTURES今天这节外加下周的课时TOCHANGETODAYASWELLASTHEWHOLEOFNEXTWEEK来谈论任何改变的关键之处THEKEYISTODOIT,TOJUSTDOIT关键之处是去行动去实践THEREARENOSHORTCUTS这其中没有捷径可走ITSNOTBECAUSEYOUVEBEENTHROUGHALECTUREONGRATITUDE不会说因为你上过一堂关于感恩的课ANDYOUUNDERSTAND,YOUREALLYUNDERSTANDWHATABENEFITFINDERMEANS你就明白了知足常乐的真谛THATDOESNTTHATWILLNOTINANDOFITSELF感恩本身不会MAKEYOUABENEFITFINDER让你变得知足常乐YOUNEEDTODOIT,YOUNEEDTOEXPERIENCEIT你得行动你得去亲身体验ANDITSONLYTHROUGHTHAT,THATOVERTIME唯有经历这样的一个过程渐渐地YOUWILLBEGINTOSEEMOREANDMOREOFTHEPOSITIVEINTHEWORLD你才会开始关注世界的积极元素ANDCOUNTERTHECURRENTSCHEMATHATMOSTOFUS从而扭转如今大多数人HAVELITERALLYBEENIMPRISONEDBY,接受的主观意识THEFAULTFINDERSCHEMA即自怨自艾的意识WILLIAMJAMES,IN1890,SAID威廉詹姆斯在1890年提出THATITTAKESABOUT21DAYSTOCHANGEAHABIT改变习惯大约需要21天ITSPROBABLYALITTLEBITOPTIMISTIC,其观点也许过于乐观MAYTAKEALITTLEBITLONGER,所需时间可能更长BUTTRYFOR21DAYS,SEEWHATHAPPENS但值得一试看看21天后会发生什么YOUKNOWTHEREARESOMEPEOPLE有些人ANDIKNOWSOMEOFYOUALREADYSTARTEDTHIS我知道你们有些人在上次课后AFTERLASTCLASS已经开始实行了SOMEPEOPLESEETHEBENEFITSIMMEDIATELY对有些人而言其作用简直立竿见影ANDTHENYOUKNOWTHEBENEFITSMAYGOAWAY然而紧接着便失效了ANDTHEYSEETHEBENEFITSAGAIN6MONTHSLATER6个月后又重新有了作用BUTTRY,TRYFORATLEAST21DAYS,但是试一试试着坚持21天ATLEASTAMONTH或是一个月NEXTWEEKITSALSOGOINGTOBEYOURTASKASPARTOFYOURWEEKLYASSIGNMENT这也将作为你们下周作业的一部分BUTSTARTTODAYDONTWAIT但请从今天开始不要拖NOOTHERWAYTOCHANGE没有其它的备选项BECAUSEWHATYOUAREDOING因为你要做的ISGRADUALLYCHIPPINGAWAYTHEEXCESSSTONE便是慢慢打磨掉冗余的石块THATEXCESSSTONE,我们由于主观意识的影响THATLIMITATIONTHATHASBEENPUTONUSBYTHESCHEMAS而背负上了冗余的石块和禁锢THATAREALLAROUNDUS,BYTHENEWSTHATYOUREADTHISMORNING,它们无处不在譬如你今早读到的新闻BYMOSTOFTHECONVERSATIONS譬如你与外界的联接INTERNALCONVERSATIONSTHATGOON尤其是指心灵上的不断接触ASWELLASEXTERNALCONVERSATIONS其次是外界的接触ANDWHATYOUAREDOINGWHENYOUAREDOINGTHISSIMPLEEXERCISE而你在做这个尝试时THEREASONWHYITWORKSSOWELL这个练习之所以见效的原因就在于REMEMBERPEOPLEWHODOITREGULARLYANDMINDFULLY要知道定期认真练习的人AREHAPPIER,HEALTHIER,往往更幸福更健康AREMOREGENEROUSANDBENEVOLENT,更慷慨善良MORESUCCESSFUL也更成功THEREASONWHYITWORKSISBECAUSEWHATYOUAREDOING其原因就在于你所做的ISCHISELBYCHISELCHIPPINGAWAYTHEEXCESSSTONE就是坚持凿破冗余的石块INMYBOOKITALKABOUTOHARTCUMMIN在我的书中我提到欧哈特卡姆尼MYTEACHER,我的老师ANDIVESPOKENABOUTHIMAFEWTIMESINTHECLASS我在课上也曾提过他HETOLDMEASTORYONCE他曾给我讲过一个故事WHENHEWASNOTMUCHOLDERTHANMOSTOFYOU那时他跟在座同学年纪差不多HEWASINHISMIDTWENTIES那时他二十多岁LEFTISRAELHEWASLIVINGINEUROPEFORAFEWYEARS,离开了以色列在欧洲待了几年ENDEDUPINHOLLAND最后来到荷兰ANDAFTERAWHILEHEFOUNDHIMSELFHOMELESS,不久之后便无家可归LITERALLYLIVINGUNDERATREE实际情况是栖息在一棵树下COLD,WASTHEWINTER那时是冬天很冷PENNILESS,DIDNTHAVEANYMONEY他身无分文一毛钱都没有ANDWITHOUTANYFRIENDSABSOLUTELYMISERABLE无友可依凄凉惨淡ANDSOMEHOWFORSOMEREASONHESAID“OK“冥冥之中他对自己说“唉“HEWASINTHISDEPRESSIONFORAFEWWEEKS他好几周都倍感抑郁愁苦ANDTHENHESAID“WELL,LETMETRYSOMETHING“然而他对自己说“我得想想办法“HETOOKOUTAPIECEOFPAPERANDONTHISPIECEOFPAPER他掏出一张纸SIMPLYWROTEEVERYTHINGFORWHICHISGRATEFUL在上面写下所有他心怀感激的事情SOTHEKINDOFTHINGSTHATHEWROTETHEREASHETOLDME他告诉我他那天罗列的项目BEETHOVENSFAITHHELOVESMUSIC贝多芬的命运交响曲他酷爱音乐HEWROTEHISPARENTSWHOWEREINISRAEL他在以色列的双亲HEWROTEVANILLAICECREAMWHICHUNTILTODAYISHISFAVORITE直至今日仍是他最爱的香草冰淇淋HETHOUGHTABOUTHISFRIENDSBACKHOME他还写下了家乡的朋友ALLTHETHINGSHEMADEALONGLISTOF所有这些事他列了个很长的单子ALLTHETHINGSINTHEWORLDFORWHICHHESGRATEFUL写下世界上所有令他感激的事ANDHECREDITSTHISEXPERIENCEASTHETURNINGPOINTINHISLIFE他把这次经历视为他人生的转折点WHYBECAUSEHESTARTED为什么因为那次以后他开始TOFOCUSONSOMETHINGELSE拓宽自己的着眼点NOTJUSTONTHEIMPOSSIBILITIES,ONTHETERRIBLE,除却关注那些不可能可怕的事物之外BUTONTHEPOSSIBILITIES,THEWONDERFUL还关注可能发生的美好的事物DOTHISEXPERIMENT试试这个方法ANDBYTHEWAYHEHASTHISHESNOW55YEARSOLD顺便提一句他现在55岁了HEHASTHISPIECEOFPAPERWITHHIM,他还是一直随身携带这张纸CRUMBLED,尽管已经皱破不堪BUTSTILLTHEREINHISWALLET,但仍旧放在他的钱包里REMINDINGHIMTHATTHEREISSOMUCH,提醒着他世界上有这么多SOMANYWONDERFULTHINGSINTHEWORLD精彩纷呈的事物JUSTTHINKABOUTTHEKINDOFLIFETHATWEARELEADING想想我们现在的生活BACKONLY200YEARSAGO,若是200年前WHOCOULDAFFORDTOLISTENTOTHEIRFAVORITEMUSICIANS,谁能听得起自己挚爱音乐家的演奏会ORTOWATCHTHEIRFAVORITEACTORS,又有几个人能看得起心爱演员的表演FAVORITEPLAYS看得起最欣赏的戏剧WHOCOULDAFFORDTODOIT谁负担得起ONLYROYALTYANDEVENTHEM,唯有皇室而且即便是他们THEYWERELIMITED也受条件的限制INTERMSOFWHICHMUSICIANWASINTOWN,取决于哪个音乐家在城里ORWHATPLAYERSWEREINTOWN或是哪个演员在城里TODAYWEHAVELITERALLYTHETIPOFOURFINGERWHICH而今天我们只需动动手指WHETHERITSONOURMP3,无论是MP3或是DVDORONOURDVDPLAYER就能满足自己的喜好IMAGINEJUSTTHINKABOUTTHELUXURYTHATWEARELIVINGIN想象一下我们现在的生活是多么富足KINGSANDQUEENSTHATNOTLIVETHATKINDOFLUXURY简直是国王和王后都没有赶上的富足生活HOWEVER,WEGETUSEDTOTHAT然而我们却习以为常WEADAPT我们适应了这种生活ANDSOMETIMESITSAGOODTHING有时候适应是件好事BECAUSEWEALSOADAPTTODIFFICULTEXPERIENCES因为这说明我们同样也能适应艰苦的生活ANDTHEQUESTIONIS可问题是HOWDOWELEARNINTHESENSETOEATTHECAKEANDLEAVEITHOME我们如何能够学会咽下苦果继续前行MEANINGTOADAPTTOTHEPAINFUL即适应痛苦BUTNOTTOREMAINIMPERVIOUSORTOBECOMEIMPERVIOUS,而非麻木处之甚至从此一直麻木冷漠TOBECOMEINDIFFERENTTOTHEPRIVILEGETHATWEHAVE而非对我们现在所享的优越无动于衷呢HOWDOWEMAINTAINTHEGRATEFULNESS我们如何保持感恩之心呢ANDITSBYBEINGMINDFUL,BYTHINKING答案在于集中精力思量那些ABOUTTHOSEWONDERFULTHINGSTHATWEHAVE我们所拥有的美好事物WHETHERITSINAFRIEND,WHETHERITSINAMOVIEWEWATCH,无论是一位好友还是一部电影WHETHERITSINTHELUNCHTHATWEAREGONNAHAVE,或是下课后家人SERVETOUSINOURHOUSELATER为我们准备的一顿午餐THEGRATITUDEEXERCISE,说到练习感恩ONEOFTHEREASONSWHYITSSOPOWERFUL其影响之所以如此显著原因之一就在于BECAUSEWHATWEAREDOINGISWHATWEARECOCREATINGOURREALITY我们其实也在一同塑造自己的现实MOSTOFTHEQUESTIONSTHATWEASKORAREASKEDOFUSIS我们常会询问或被问及一个问题“WHATSWRONGWHATNEEDTOBEIMPROVED“问题出在哪里哪些地方亟待改进WHATAREMYWEAKNESSAREAS“我们的弱点是什么“IMPORTANTQUESTIONS,NOTENOUGH提出这些问题固然重要但还不够IFTHESEARETHEONLYQUESTIONSTHATWEASKASFARASWEARECONCERNED,如果眼下我们只能提出问题THEGOODDOESNOTEXIST必定收效甚微ANDWHENWEASK而当我们问自己WHATAMIGRATEFULFOR什么事情令我们心存感激时EVENIFITSJUSTONCEADAY哪怕只一天一次THATINANDOFITSELFCREATESBLESSYOU这本身就创造了愿上帝保佑你英美习俗有人打喷嚏就会说“BLESSYOU“THATINANDOFITSELFCREATESANEWREALITY这本身就创造出一个崭新的现实ANDWEBEGINTOSEETHINGSTHATWEHAVENTBEFORE我们开始察觉以前从未留意过的事SOWHENIDOTHISEXERCISE所以当我做这件事的时候ANDHAVEBEENDOINGITFORALONGTIME,我已经坚持了很长一段时间INOTICETHINGSTODAY我会发觉一些THATIWOULDNTHAVENOTICEDHADINOTBEENDOINGTHIS若是没有这么做我就注意不到的事物ANDIWOULDSAY“OH,THISISSOMETHINGIMGONNAWRITETONIGHT我会说“今晚要把它写下来ITSSOBEAUTIFUL“太棒了“ANDWHENIGOFORADRIVE当我开车兜风时ANDSEETHESUNINICEMOUNTAININTHEHAMPSHIRE望见汉普郡冰山上的太阳心想“IMGONNAWRITETHISDOWNLATER“等下把这个记下来“ANDIWOULDNTHAVENOTICETHIS我以前根本不会在意它ANDASFARASIWASCONCERNED,THESETHINGSDIDNOTEXIST,对之前的我而言这些事物根本不存在公交车上的孩子详情见第二课JUSTLIKETHECHILDRENONTHEBUSDIDNTNOTEXIST同在看不到公车上的孩子是一个道理WHENYOUWERENOTASKINGALSOTHERIGHTQUESTION因为你没有问对问题ITSIMPORTANTTOEXPRESSGRATITUDEOBVIOUSLY明确表达感激之情至关重要NOTJUSTTOOURSELVESBUTALSOTOOTHERS不单单是知会自己更是知会他人ALOTOFRESEARCHONTHATTOO关于这一点也有很多研究THISWASDONEBY这项研究是由YOUAREREADINGORYOUHAVEREADTHEPAPERBYSELIGMAN你们正在读兴许已经读过席利格曼TALKINGABOUTEXPRESSINGGRATITUDETOOTHERS探讨有关向他人表示感激之情的文章WHETHERITSINTHEFORMOFALETTERORAVISIT无论是通过写信拜访ORAPHONECALL还是打电话的方式ANDTHEKEYWASEXPRESSINGGRATITUDE关键是感激的表达THISISNOTATHANKYOUNOTE并非一张简单的感谢卡“DEARMOM,THANKYOUFORBEINGGREAT“亲爱的妈妈感谢你的伟大LOVE,ME爱你的我“THATSNOTJUSTATHANKYOUNOTE一张简单的感谢卡起不了作用ITSSITTINGDOWNANDTHINKING而是要坐下思考WHATCANIBEGRATEFULFORMYMOM我要感谢妈妈什么WHATHASSHEDONEFORME她为我做过什么WHATHASSHEGIVENMETHROUGHOUTALLTHESEYEARS这些年来她给予了我什么ANDREALLYTHINKINGABOUTITORITSREALLYTHINKINGATHING认真地思考或是仔细斟酌WHATDIDTHISTEACHERFROM3RDGRADEDOFORME三年级的这位老师为我做过什么NOTJUSTTALKINGTOMYFRIENDS不是简单对朋友说“OHIHADAWONDERFULENGLISHTEACHERIN3RDGRADE“我三年级时有个超棒的英语老师呢“BUTSITTINGDOWNANDTHINKINGWHATAMIGRATEFUL而是坐下来思考我究竟感激些什么FORWHATDIDSHEORHEDOFORME他或她为我做过哪些事情THATHASCONTRIBUTEDSOMUCHTOMYLIFE,对我的人生产生影响TOWHOIAMTODAY并造就了如今的我ORMYROOMMATE抑或是我的室友WHOALWAYSGOESOUTOFHISORHERWAYTOHELP总对我倾力相助IMREALLYGRATEFUL我真的很感激ANDTOTHINKABOUTIT,NOTJUSTTOYOUKNOW去思考而不仅仅是ATTHEENDOFTHEYEAROFTHESUMMER在夏季学期期末时对其来上一句“OH,YOUAREGREAT,YOURETERRIFIC“你人超好很不错哦“REALLYTHINKABOUTWHATTHESEPEOPLE,认真思索这些人THEIMPORTANTPEOPLEINYOURLIFE这些你生命中的重要人物AREDOINGFORYOUANDEXPRESSIT对你投以的施予并将此表达出来DONTTAKETHATFORGRANTED不要把一切视为理所当然DONTTAKEFORGRANTEDTHEFACTTHAT切勿想当然地以为THEYKNOWHOWGRATEFULYOUARE他们知道你有多感激他们YEAHOFCOURSEMOMKNOWS知道妈妈当然懂我OFCOURSEDADKNOWSTHATIMGRATEFUL爸爸当然了解我多么感激他ANDTHEYARETERRIFIC他们真的很棒DONTTAKEITFORGRANTED别把这看作是理所当然的EXPRESSIT你需要表达出来AGAIN,EITHERINALETTERORBYPHONE,再强调一次无论是写信还是打电话ORINPERSONONEOFTHEMOSTEFFECTIVEINTERVENTIONSOUTTHERETODAY或是亲身拜访现今最有效的干预方式ISEXPRESSINGGRATITUDETOOTHERS,便是向他人表示感激ESPECIALLY,THISONEWRITINGALETTEROFGRATITUDE效果最为显著的便是写一封感谢信ANDTHENVISITINGTHEPERSONTOWHOMYOUAREWRITING外加亲自拜访收信人ANDREADINGTHEMTHELETTER并且当场把信读给他们听CHEESYIAGREE肉麻我同意ALITTLEBITEMBARRASSINGSOMETIMES有时还有点尴尬YOUCANNOTIMAGINETHEKINDOFRESULTS因为你无法料想人们在经历了THATPEOPLEGET这样一场感恩拜访之后WHENDOINGJUSTTHISGRATITUDEVISIT会收获怎样的成效BUTEVENIFYOUDONTVISIT,但即使你不前往拜访ANDYOUDOFEELSELFCONSCIOUSDOINGIT你自己潜意识不想这么做IDORECOMMENDYOU我还是建议你试试BUTIFYOUFEELSELFCONSCIOUS,但如果你实在是不好意思SENDALETTER,MAKETHATPHONECALL,把信寄出去打个电话ANDBEFOREITJUSTTHINKFORAFEWMINUTES那就在这两步之前先花几分钟想想WHATAMIGONNASAYWHATAMIREALLYGRATEFULFOR我要说什么我究竟感激对方哪一点AAGAIN,WHETHERITSTOYOURPARENTS,还是那句话不管对方是自己的父母WHETHERITSTOYOURFRIENDS,朋友WHETHERITSTOYOURFIRSTGRADETEACHER,还是一年级的老师JUSTDOIT,放手去做WHETHERITSTOYOURCOACH又或者是你的教练THELARGEST,LARGESTPEAK,BOOST,SPIKEINWELLBEING当我们向他人表达感激时WHENWEEXPRESSGRATITUDETOOTHERS,我们将处于幸福的巅峰QUITEREMARKABLEIFYOUTHINKABOUTIT绝对超乎你的料想ANDIFYOUTHINKABOUTITFURTHER,而且倘若你再深入思考ITISAWINWIN你会发现这是双赢BECAUSEOBVIOUSLYYOUGETTHEBENEFIT因为你显然会从中获益THISISWHATTHERESEARCHSHOWS我们可以从实验结果中得到验证WEFEELGOODWHENWEEXPRESSIT我们表达感激时候会产生美妙的感觉ANDTHEOTHERPERSONFEELSGOODTOOTHEYBENEFITAGREATDEAL而对方也会感觉不错他们也受益良多SOYOUARECREATINGAWINWIN,所以你其实创造了一个双赢的局面ANUPWARDSPIRAL,好比一个上升螺旋BECAUSETHATPERSONISTHENMORELIKELYTO因为那人此后也很有可能EXPRESSGRATITUDETOOTHERS再向其他人表达感激THEBESTWAYTOLEADISBYEXAMPLE领导的最好方式是身体力行“BETHECHANGEYOUWANTTOSEEINTHEWORLD“欲变世界先变其身“ASGANDHISAID甘地如是说SOYOUWANTPEOPLETOBEMOREGRATEFUL所以你想让人们变得更感恩吗EXPRESSGRATITUDEYOURSELF请先表达出你自己的感激THEYAREMORELIKELYTOTHENTAKEITON随后他们方能将之传递下去ANDEXPRESSGRATITUDETOOTHERS向他人表达感激SONOTONLYAREYOU所以你不仅STARTINGUPWARDSPIRALBETWEENYOUANDTHATPERSON,直接启动了自身同某人之间的上升螺旋BUTALSOPOTENTIALLYBETWEENTHATPERSONASWELLASOTHERS,还间接启动了此人和他人之间的螺旋PAYINGITFORWARD,PAYINGITFORWARD如此往复无穷尽也THEDOWNSIDEOFTHISINTERVENTION这种干预方式的缺点在于ISTHATWHILEITLEADSTOASPIKEINWELLBEING,一旦企及幸福的顶峰THATSPIKEUSUALLYGOESAWAYAFTERABOUTAMONTH这个顶峰通常只能维持一个月左右的时间ITVARIES具体时间因人而异ITCANGOAWAYAFTERAWEEKORAFTERTHREEMONTHS可能一周之后也可能三个月后失效BUTTHEAVERAGE,但一般而言ITGOESAWAYAFTERABOUTAMONTH,THESPIKEOFYOURWELLBEING幸福的顶峰会在大约一个月后消失SOTHEKEYIFYOUWANNAMAINTAINTHESPIKE延长巅峰状态的要诀ISTODOITREGULARLY便是定期实行EITHERONCEAWEEK,ONCEEVERYTWOWEEKS,要么一周一次要么两周一次ONCEAMONTH又或者一个月一次DOITYOUCANDOITONEWEEKAGRATITUDEPHONECALL行动起来你可以一周打次电话表示感激ANDMAKEITARITUAL,培养成一种习惯THENEXTWEEKGRATITUDELETTER,下周写感谢信THEWEEKAFTERTHATAGRATITUDEVISIT,再下周做一次感恩拜访ORSOMETHINGLIKETHAT或者类似的事AGAIN,VARIETY我再强调一次多样性的重要性VARIETYREALLYHELPSHERE多样性真是太重要了BUTDOITREGULARLYASARITUAL但务必如习惯一般频繁ANDWHENWETALKABOUTCHANGENEXTWEEK我们下周讲改变的时候WELLTALKABOUTTHEIMPORTANCEOFRITUALS还会谈到习惯的重要性BECAUSEINMANYWAYS因为从很多角度来看THATSTHEONLYCHANGEFORREALLASTINGCHANGE习惯性的改变才是旷日持久的改变HEREISONEOFTHESURPRISINGFINDINGS桑佳吕波米尔斯基有一项THATSONJALYUBOMIRSKYFOUND出人意料的研究成果WHICHSHEFOUNDTHATIFWEWRITETHATLETTER,她发现如果我们写了感谢信WEGETASPIKEINOURWELLBEING我们的幸福感就会出现一次巅峰EVENIFWEDONTSENDIT即使我们并没有把信寄出去OBVIOUSLYIFWESENDITANDWEGETFEEDBACK,但显然如果我们寄了信并得到反馈THESPIKEISEVENHIGHER这个巅峰就会更高BUTJUSTTHEACTOFWRITINGIT,但单就写信本身OFBEINGGRATEFUL,BEINGOPEN心怀感恩坦诚相向THATINANDOFITSELFCONTRIBUTESTOWELLBEING这种行为本身就会让你感觉到幸福NEXTWEEK,YOURRESPONSEPAPERISGOINGTOBEALETTEROFGRATITUDE,下周你们的课后论文将会是一封感谢信WHICHWEWILLHIGHLYRECOMMENDYOU我们强烈建议你们VISITTHEPERSONANDREADITTOTHEM,拜访收信人并读给他们听OR,ATVERYLEASTSENDIT如果住的地方相隔甚远IFYOUARENOTCLOSETOTHEMNOW,PHYSICALLY或者至少把它寄出去BUTEVENIFYOUJUSTWRITEIT但纵使你只写了信然后ANDDONTFEELCOMFORTABLESENDINGIT,实在不好意思把它寄出去THATINANDOFITSELFCONTRIBUTESTOOURWELLBEING这单一行为也能促使我们感到幸福IWANTGOALITTLEMOREINDEPTHINTO我想更深入地谈谈HOWWEEXPRESSGRATITUDE我们如何表达感激AND,INGENERAL,HOWWEDEALWITHPAINFULANDPOSITIVEEMOTIONS以及通常我们如何处理痛苦和积极情绪ONCEAGAIN,SONJALYUBOMIRSKYDIDRESEARCH这次还是桑佳吕波米尔斯基的研究WHERESHEINVITEDPARTICIPANTSTOTALKABOUTORTOSHARE研究中她请求参与者讲述或分享THEWORSTEXPERIENCESOFTHEIRLIVES他们一生中最坏的经历ANDTHEBESTEXPERIENCESOFTHEIRLIVES和他们一生中最好的经历ANDWHATSHEDIDWASDIVIDETHEMACTUALLYINTOFOURGROUPS事实上她将他们分成四组ONEGROUP,WRITEABOUTIT,其中一组把这些事写下