《小屁孩日记》完整中英文对照剧本

Greg?格雷格Greg?What?格雷格什么Greg!Huh?What?Whatareyoudoing?Getup!还睡个什么快起来Momanddadhavebeencallingyouforanhour.爸妈都叫你一个小时了You'reabouttobelateforyourfirstdayofmiddleschool.你中学的第一天就要迟到了什么Oh,geez!Howdidthathappen?天啊怎么可能Go,go,go!Mom'sabouttoflipout!快快快妈妈要发飙了Shesentmetogetyouwhileshewaitsinthecar!她在车里等着呢让我来叫你Whatareyoudoing?What'sgoingon?你在干什么怎么回事Gettingreadyfor..准备school.上学■Areyouinsane?Schooldoesn'tstarttillnextweek.你脑袋进水了吗下周才开学And,FYI,schooldoesn'tstartat4:00inthemorning!再提醒你一下学校不会凌晨四点开始上课YouwokeupManny.Andifhedoesn'tgobackdown..你把曼尼吵醒了要是他不重新睡下Goodmorning!早安Ijustwantedtosleeptill6:00.我只想睡到6点钟Bubby!Gotobed.Igothim.咪咪去睡吧我来照看他Greg,whatareyoudoingupmakingallthisnoise?格雷格你在搞什么弄这么响ItwasRodrick!Hewokemeup!是罗德里克他把我叫醒了我发誓他回床上去什么鬼味道简直难以形容Bubby!咪咪Happybirthday!Here,Bubby.给咪咪Wow!Lookatthesizeofthatflamethrower!哇那火焰喷射器可真大好了首先我要说清楚Thisisajournal,notadiary.这不是日记而是本日志没错我知道封面上是"日记"两字Butwhenmymomwentouttobuythisthing,Ispecificallytoldhernottobuyonethatsaid"diary"onit.Thisjustprovesmomdoesn'tunderstandanythingaboutkidsmyage.TheonlyreasonIagreedtowriteinthisthingisbecauseWhenI'mrichandfamousI'llhavebetterthingstodo当我发达后可以做些更有趣的事thananswerpeople'sstupidqGregory,tellusaboutyourchildhood!格雷格跟我们谈谈你的童年Here'smyjournal.Now,shoo,shoo.去看我的日志好了都散了吧散了吧That'sourboyupthere.writedownmyfeelingsaboutstaIt'smybestfriend,RowleyJefferson,I'mworriedabout.He'sdefinitelynotmiddleschoolready.Geronimo!He'snotquiteclearontheconceptofgrowingup.Iwantapuppy,akitty,agumballmachine..我想要一只小狗一只小猫一台糖果机Butanyway,thisisaboutme,notRowley.可话说回来这是我的故事不是罗利的Ialwaysfiguredthey'dmakeamovieaboutmylife.我总在想自己的生活会被拍成电影Because,seriously,whowantstoseeamovieabout说真的要是一部电影讲的是一个who'sstuckinmiddleschoolwithabunchofmorons?周围全是蠢蛋的初中孩子的故事谁愿看呢Letmego,Rodrick!放开我罗德里克Comeon.We'rejusthavingsomefun,right?怎么了玩玩而已好吗Now,okay.So,look.好了听着妈妈让我给你一些关于中学的建议很简单Don'ttalktoanyone.Don'tlookatanyone.Don'tgoanywhere.别跟别人说话别盯着别人看别到处乱晃Don'tsitdown.Don'traiseyourhand.Don'tgotothebathroom.别坐下别举手别上厕所别引人注目别选错衣柜别我逗你干嘛啊Ya'llbedeadorhomeschoole反正期末你都会挂掉或被送回家的还有别跟罗利待在一起曼尼闭嘴妈妈妈妈多谢你做的鸡蛋Frank?Greg?弗兰克格雷格这也太恶心太不尊重人了我吃早餐时他却在旁边用便壶Okay,well,it'syourfaulthe'sstillpottytraining.要不是你他早就能用马桶了Don'tlookdown,Manny.别往下看曼尼马桶怪兽可不喜欢你盯着它看我只是跟他开了个玩笑嘛好了亲亲他表示下歉意我们要走了上学第一天可别迟到请记住我说的话我觉得中学可能是Yougotkidslikemewhohaven'thittheirgrowthspurtyetmixedinwithgorillaswhohavetoshavetwiceaday.There'sjuveniledelinquentsandweirdos.I'msmallerthanabout95%ofthekidsatmyschool..sothankgodforChiragGupta.Yougottojumphigher.It'snotyours!跳高一点啊它不是你的He'sanexcellentbufferbetweenmeandthesemorons.Hey,Greg.你好格雷格Hey,fella!好啊那个谁一场核事故吗Thankgodthereareafewnormalpeople谢天谢地还有少量正常的人orthisplacewouldbeatotalfreakshow.Ifyou'reasdiscriminatingasIam,itcanbetoughtofigureoutwheretositonyourfirstdayofmiddleschool.为找座位而左右为难Onebadmoveandyou'restucknexttosomeidiotfortherestoftheyear.RememberhowIsaidRowleywasn'tmiddleschoolready?Well,thereyougo.瞧他来了Whatareyouwearing?MyfamilyjustgotbackfromGuatemala!It'smyserape!Nice,huh?Allright,class,I'mMrs.Flint.Everybodytakeyourseats!好了上课了我是弗林特老师大家坐好Welcometoyourfirstdayofmiddleschool.这是中学的第一天欢迎大家Rememberyourseats.You'llbesittinghereeveryday.记住你们的座位以后就固定了Rowley,ifyouhadtosaywhereyouwereranked罗利要是让你从1到200选个数intermsofpopularityfromoneto200,Wherewouldyouputyourself?Is200goodorbad?200是好还是差我觉得你在154分左右I'dputmyselfaroundnumber19or20.我自己是19或20分的样子bytheendoftheyear,ifthingsgothewayIthinktheywillWell,who'satthebottom?Hey,guys,wannaseemysecre伙计们想瞧瞧我的神秘黑痣吗Fregley.SenthomeforhygieneissuesatleastoCheckitout.it'sgotahairini仔细瞧瞧上面还有根毛呢Youwannahelpmenameit?Allright,ladies!Gatheraround!好了姑娘们都过来快点都别绣花了快来大家听好了I'mcoachMaloneandIamyourgymteacher.我是马龙教练你们的体育老师P.E.isasmuchapartofmylifeaswakingupinthemorningandgoingtothebathroomIliveandbreathephysicaleducation.我生活其中享受其中Now,who'swithme?我们来享受一下运动的快乐好吗Yeah!酷毙了好的非常好Sowe'regonnadivideyouupintotwoteams.Soyoutwo,overhere.You,you,you,thisway.你们俩过去你你你这边Yeah,youthree,thisside.Good.你们三个这边好的Youguysaregoingtobeshirts!你们这队穿衣服Whyareweskins?Ihatethis.他就是想让我们这样的小孩不爽Whatdoyoumean,kidslikeus?我只是不想被晒伤对吧罗利你呢好了让我们先来玩一个小游戏我拿到这个了不Coverme!天啊Notgood!糟了我们跑不过这些家伙的不用跑过他们Thinktheysawus?Noway.他们看见我们了吗不会Theywerefocusedongettingthatkidwiththelimp.We'llhideherefortherestoftheclassbecauseI'mnotplayingthatgame.太不公平了He'sgotalltheneanderthalsonthesameteam.It'sbarbaric!他把那些粗壮的家伙分到一队太野蛮了It'scompletelybarbaric.Thisplaceisanintellectualwasteland.But,youknow,it'snicetomeetsomeonemoreinterestedinhismindthaninhisbody.而非身体是否强壮的人还是不错的Yougirlsgettojumprope.Whatareyoudoinghiding?女孩子都在跳绳你躲这儿干嘛上中学后就都变了知道吗You'renotakidanymore.Thecoddlinghasstopped.你就不再是小孩子了没人再惯着你了Kidsarenowseparatedbyintelligence.Theweakarepickedon.Andgirlsyou'veknownsincekindergartenwon'teventalktoyouanymore.Okay,well,soundslikeyougotitallfigu好吧看来你都看穿了sogobacktoyourbook.Thisplaceisaglorifiedholdingpen.Alltheway!Alltheway!You'relikeamachine!坚持坚持要像机器一样It'swhereadultsputyouasyoumakethatawkwardtransitionbetweenchildandteenagerHi.I'mAngie.你好我是安吉不错的故事我们要走了干嘛要走这里多好啊Isurvivedallofthesixthgradehere.AndIwouldenjoysomelikemindedcompanytogetmethroughtheseIsthatthewhistle?IthinkIhearthewhistle.是哨声吗我好像听到哨声了该走了不许卖弄知道吗Whyareweleaving?为什么要走Wecouldgetkilledouthereintheopen!我们一暴露就会死得很惨Putyourshirton.They'llthinkwe'reontheirteam.Besides,gettingcrushedisbetterthanbeingseenwiththatfreakjob.看那个是奶酪吗别动好家伙你差点就中了奶酪魔咒什么奶酪魔咒没有人知道来由有一天没人知道它是谁的没人敢碰它没人扔走它它就躺在那儿一天天发霉变质魔力也日益强大戴伦碰了那片奶酪No,Ididn't!Ijustlookedatit!Really!不我没有我只是看了看真的Darrenhadthecheesetouch!他从此成了被排斥者摆脱奶酪魔咒的唯一出路wasbypassingitontosomeoneelse.朋友传给朋友Itwasmadness.简直疯了UntilaGermanexchangestudentnamedDieterMullertookitaway.Dieterhasthecheesetouch!Zecheesetouch?Vatdoesitmean,zecheesetouch??这是什么意思什么奶酪魔咒Nooooooooo00oooo…!Thankfully,不谢天谢地hemovedbacktoDusseldorftookcheesetouchwiththem.他返回了德国把奶酪魔咒也带走了Andsothecheesesits,patientlywaitingforWow.Wow.Thisisaterribleplace.Nodoors?None.没有门吗一扇也没有I'mnotpoopinguntilI'minhighschool.Thecafeteria,possiblythecruellestplaceoneartButIwasabouttomakesomekid'sdaybysittingnexttohim.Forwho?谁的那个座位也有人了Uhuhuh.有人了我猜这里才是酷哥们吃饭的地方Fregleymusthavebumpedhisheadwhenhewaslittle,弗莱戈利的脑袋小时候肯定被门挤过like,reallyhard.而且还挤得不轻0kay,okay,好吧好吧我的第一天本可以过得更好点的不过还好没遭遇什么难堪的事Hey,Greg!Youwanttocomeoverandplay?格雷格来我家一起玩儿吗Whatdidhejustsaytoyou?他刚才跟你说什么哦接我的车好像来了Hey,guys.Sothisguysaystothatguy,伙计们这个人对那个人说没错你们想跟我们一起玩儿吗看到了吧这就是问题现在我不得不对这些白痴忍气吞声Butin20years,Quentinherewillbeworkingforme.不过二十年后这个昆汀会在我手下工作格雷格请别开除我我真的很需要这份卑贱的工作为您的狗清理便便Whatever.I'llthinkaboutit.好吧我考虑一下No,no,no.Vanillaonthebottomandchocolateonthetop!不不香草在下边巧克力在上边"play,"Rowley?"play"?abilliontimesthatguysouragesay"hangSeriously,ifyou'renotgonnalistentome,justtellme,'causeifyoupullanotherstuntlikethat,we'llbestuckonthecafeteriafloorfortherestofmiddleschool.Ifoundhalfasnickersbardownthere.Ican'tbetheguywhoeatsoffhislapinthecafeteria.Ishouldbeatthetopofthefoodchainbynow.必须改变一下了而且要快Mymomtoldmetojustbemyselfandpeoplewouldlikeme.我妈妈告诉我只要做自己大家就会喜欢我了Thatwouldbegoodadviceifyouweresomebodyelse.如果你是别人这真的是不错的建议Hey,littlebrother.嘿小老弟WasyourfirstdayascrappyasIsaiditwouldbe?No.notatall.Youwerewrong.完全不是你错了ItwasactuallybetterthanI...Worse.其实比我想的更好更糟Youdidn'tlistentome,didyou?你没有听我的话是吗我告诉过你别说话别乱看别瞎逛那你怎么样呢罗利好极了Andifnobodywantsyousittingattheirtable,youthinktheywantchummybuttonsoverhere?Iwasright.You'renotevengonnamakeitoutoftherealive.我说得没错你不可能活着熬出来的Theonlychanceyouhaveofmakingtheyearbookiswhentheydedicateittoyourmemory.SoyouwannaplayTwistedWizard?No.Ihaveabetteridea.不我有个更好的主意Ifhecatchesyouinhere,hewillkillyou.如果他捉到你会杀了你的Literally,killyou.别担心只要音乐没停我们就没事Whoa.Yeah.Wow.哦不错啊我找到了找到什么了Rodrick'smiddleschoolyearbook.Thisthingholdsalltheanswers.Rowley,thisthingislikeaBible.罗利这东西就像圣经看到了吗我这样的人就得印到这上面班级风云人物他们是班里最好的Thesepeoplearen'tnobodies.They'refamous.这些人可不是无名小卒他们都很有名气Theydon'thavetoworryabout他们也不会为了gettingaseatinthecafeteria,either.在食堂里找座位而发愁Checkthisout.There'stonsofthingsIqualifyfor.看这个这里的很多称号我都能胜任"mostlikelytosucceed,""bestlooking,""classclown."最具潜质的最上镜的班级小丑Theyshouldjustgivethattomerightnow.他们真应该立刻就把这些称号给我Don'tyouhavetobefunnyforthat?你不需要为此变得幽默点吗Hey!Wecouldtryforcutestfriends!嘿我们可以试试成为"最可爱的朋友"我是怎么跟你说的ifyoueverwentinmyroomagain?如果你再敢来我房间会怎么样但是你们乐队还在演奏啊It'sthebasssolo,TurdBurglar!现在是贝斯独奏笨贼Don'tyouknowanythingaboutmusic?你一点儿也不懂音乐吗Now,Icameupheretogetanewdrumstick.我是上来拿一个新鼓槌的Andnow,Greg,sincemomanddadaregone,现在格雷格爸爸妈妈都不在家I'mgoingtokillyou.Literally,killyou!我要杀了你真的杀了你Itoldyou.我告诉过你的你走好吧我只想说一件事Run,Greg,run!What?跑格雷格快跑什么放开我小河马你总要露面的笨蛋Timeout,Rodrick.Ihavetopee.中场休息罗德里克我要上厕所Notimeouts.Onlydeath!没有中场休息只有死亡ButIreallyhavetogo.Don't但我真的憋不住了我才不管让一让我要憋死了Gotyou!Greg,didyouthrowMannyoffhis.格雷格你把曼尼从Whatisgoingon?你们在干什么Gregstartedit.Ijustcame格雷格挑起来的我只是来洗个澡He'slying!Hewasgonnakillme'causeIwasinhisroom!他在说谎因为我去过他的房间所以他要杀了我是的我是说不是我是说Yes.Wow,there'salottosignupfor.哇有这么多都可以选爵士舞我们可以一起参加我简直不敢相信这些活动都要这么累放学后上学前周末都要待在一起这都是些什么课外活动啊别挡我的道Wholetyouintothi谁让你上这所学校的格雷格·赫夫利Iwasthinkingthesamethingaboutyou,PattyFarrell.我还想问你呢帕蒂·法雷尔你给我听着格雷格赫夫利我正在竞选学生会主席我现在警告你Ifyougetinmyway,Iwillbeatyouup,如果你敢挡我的路我会狠狠揍你一顿的o*justlikeIdidinkindergartenandfourthgrado*就跟我在幼儿园和四年级时做的那样四年级那次确实挺过分的What'sherproblem?WhatdidIeverdotoher?她怎么回事我以前怎么她了吗帕蒂帕蒂老鼠脸皮流着眼泪拖着鼻涕真是太好笑了Sheneedstogetasenseofhumor.她真的需要点幽默感AndIneedsomethingtoma我得想点办法成为班级风云人物班级风云人物能怎样Don'tyoueversayhiorhellobeforeyoustarttalking?你说话之前从来不打声招呼吗Hi.Hello.格雷格来这里只是因为他想要成为罗利IwasjustsayingthatIwouldreallyliketonailthesepeople我只是说想看看都是什么人参加这些活动they'reonlydoingtheseactivitiestogetintheyearYouknow,Ilikeyourpointofview.Youshouldsignupfortheschoolpaper.我们代表了群众的呼声鉴于这些人多数都是傻瓜所以我想从技术角度来讲we'rethevoiceofthepeoplemakingfunofthepeople.butIcan'tbeonthepaperbecauseI'mgonnabeinthepaperalotSothatwouldbeaconflictofinterest.You'rethepeople.Gotit.你就是上报那种人我明白了Doyoubelievemenow?Thatgirliscrazytown.你现在相信我了吗那女孩是个疯子Look!Theyhavewrestling!看这里还有摔跤就是这个了我很擅长摔跤I'vewatcheditforyears,IknowallthemovesTombstonepiledriver.Vaderbomb.韦德炸弹必杀技Heffley!Heffley!Heffley!Heffley!赫夫利赫夫利赫夫利Heffley!Heffley!Heffley!赫夫利赫夫利赫夫利Okay.Somethingisverywronghere.嗯好像有些很不对头Thesedon'tlooklikewrestlingcostumesSo,justtomakesureweallgetoffontherightfootandnobodygetsseriouslyinjured,we'regonnateachyouafewbasicmoves.Remember,thisisaboutlearningthe记住我们是要学习这项运动并得到快乐Allright.It'snotacompetition好吗我们不是要一争高下becauseeveryonehereisalreadyaCoachBrewer,canyoustepoverhereforamoment,布鲁尔教练你能过来一下吗pleasegivemeahand?Thanks.给我搭把手谢谢Nicejob,coachBrewer.干得好布鲁尔教练你能站起来到我身后来吗把一只胳膊放在我肩膀上来对的走几步就没事了来吧Thatwasknownasthearmdrag.Let'sgivecoachBrewerahand,everybody!你说赫夫利WhataboutpiledriversandVaderbombs?Thisisrealwrestling!Let'sgo!我们这是真正的摔跤开始吧IfIhavetowrestleBennyWells,he'llkillme!Let'smove!Comeon!Okay,tokeepthingsfair,I'vedividedyouintoweightcategoriesbyyoursize,Bulldogs,youstayrightthere.Andwegottwochihuahuas.Yeah.吉娃娃是的Niceheadgear.Thanks.Mymomletmeborrowit.谢谢是我妈妈借给我的Allright,let'sseewhatyougot.好吧让我们看看你们的本事Don'tworry,Fregley,I'lltakeiteasyonyou.Hey,Iwasn'tready!Nobody'skeepingscore,Thisisfun,GregHeffley!真有意思格雷格·赫夫利Getoffme!Fregley!Fregley!Fregley!弗莱戈利弗莱戈利吹哨子快吹哨子Allright!Fregley!比赛结束弗莱戈利胜Outstanding!Andlet's…let'shearitforourotherwinner.我们来给另一个胜者一点鼓励吧Yay,Greg!真棒格雷格Ican'tlosetoFregleyagain.我可不能再输给弗莱戈利了IfIgetbeatbytheweirdestkidinschool,Nobody'severgonnaletmesitattheirtable.Howareyougoingtobeathim?I'mnotgonnabeathim.I'mgonnagai我不需要打败他这周我要增重10磅SoIcanmoveuptothebulldogweightclass.AndthenyouandIcanwrestleeachother.Ready?CanIthrowatyounow?La能让我扔球砸你了吗等会儿吧You'rebetteratridingthanIam,andI'mabetterthrower.你更擅长骑车我更擅长掷球不行我要增重为什么Ithinkyourbodylooksbeautifuljustthewayitis.你怎么回事Whywouldyousignupforsomethingyoudon'thavetodo?Yousignedupforwrestling?Kindof.Youneversignupforanythingatschool.Thatwayyouneverraiseanyone'sexpectations.Thankyou,Rodrick,forthosewordsofmotivationalwisdom,谢谢你这些励志箴言罗德里克ButperhapsabetterwaytolookatitisthatWell,Greg,Ithinkit'sgreatthat好格雷格你现在主动开始youtooktheinitiativetolearnsomethingnew.学习新鲜事物确实很不错我老板的儿子威尔比你个子还小Yeah.Wecouldgetyouthesameequ通过力量训练补充营养做有氧运动只需要大概3个月的时间Threemonths?Yeah.要3个月没错Well,Idon'tknowwhereyouputit,Heffley,不知道你的肉都长哪儿了赫夫利Butyougained10poundsandjoinedthebulldogclass.不过确实重了10磅可以加入斗牛犬级了Yes.Ithoughtyoudidn'tgainanyweightthisweek.Mymom'sankleweights.Allright,bulldogHeffley.Meetyournewopponent.好了斗牛犬赫夫利见见你的新对手What?Butthisisboys'wrestling.什么这可是男子摔跤Herparentsthreatenedtosue,Soyoushowherwhatit'sliketowrestlearealliveboy.所以你让她看看什么叫真正的男子摔跤Comeon!Whatyouwaitingfor,huh?来啊等什么呢Don'tbesuchawuss,Heffley.别像个胆小鬼赫夫利Makeyourmove!She'sagirl!WheredoIgrabh动手啊她是个女的我抓她哪儿啊Staydown!Patty,overhere!压住别放帕蒂看这边Getoffofme!CanIwrestlesomebodygoodnow?走开我现在能跟档次高点的摔了吧Well,lookwho'sinthepaper.Greg!You'refamous!Rightonthefrontpage!格雷格你红了头版头条IfIwouldhavepinnedher,whichIcouldhavedoneeasily,YouknowIwouldhavegottenintroubleforhurtingagirl.Whydoessheevenwanttowrestle?Whoknows?Girlsareveryconfusing.鬼知道女孩子很难理解Liketoday,Iheardsomeoneinthehallways就比如今天我在走廊听他们说ThatBryceAndersonhasacutebutt.Whatdoesthatevenmean?Abuttcan'tbecute.It'saIknow,butthat'swhattheyweresaying.我知道但他们就是这么说的can'ttalkjustlikeregularpeople.Sohowareyougonnabecomeaclassfavoritenow?Twowords.Bestdressed.Howareyougoingtodoth两个字穿着你怎么做时尚很简单穿衬衣打领带大家就会被你倾倒了I'mtellingyou,thisisgonnawork.我跟你说这一定行的我是个暴力小子宝贝Hot,hot,hot,hotItoldyouIwaswearingthis.Iknow!我告诉你我要这么穿的啊我知道Iwantedtobematchers!Checkthemout!我想跟你穿成一对嘛看看他们爱情打头阵Youknow,maybeRodrickwasrightaboutRowley.MaybeIdoneedanewbestfriend.Imean,ifanybodyhasabetteridea,I'dlovetohearit.我是说若有人另有高见愿闻其详和你们的学校差不多在这所学校里aboutselfworthandesteem.Gagmewithaspoon.Thatguyissounpopular,I'dhatetobe那小子太衰了我可不想像他一样Whydoesn'tanybodyliMaybebecausetheydon'tknowhowawesomeyoureallyareBrockBraniganP.I!Whatareyoudoinghere?I'mheretosolvethecaseoftheboywhojustneededtobehimself.Sogoforit!Showthemhowawesomeyoureallyare!去吧让他们瞧瞧你有多棒Hey,guys.Doyoulikebreakdancing?伙计们喜欢霹雳舞吗Thatistotallyrad!真是超级棒Wicked.Youshouldsitwithusatlunch,friend.真棒吃饭时你应该跟我们坐在一起朋友妙极了Itreallyisawesometobeme!Thanks,Brock.做回真我简直好极了谢谢布洛克Okay.Let'stalkaboutwhatwe'velearned.好了我们谈谈从中学到了什么Idon'tknowaboutanyoneelse,butIknowwhatIlearned.不知别人怎么想的但我知道我学到了什么做回真我真是棒TheproblemwithRowleyisthathe'snotenoughlikeme.罗利的问题是他跟我差距太大Ican'tditchhim'causehe'dbelostwithoutme.我不能把他甩了不然他会迷失自我的或许我能改造他Becausethat'sthekindoffriendIam.因为我就是这种益友你干嘛呢Makingyourclothesmoremiddleschoolfriendly.给你找些更适合中学的衣服Lookatthisstuff.Toobabyishandweird.看这个既幼稚又愚蠢Too"whydon'tyoujustpunchmenow?"这个简直就是找抽Whatareyou,aforeignexchangestudent?你干嘛的外国交换生吗Oh,man.This这件我们还是烧了吧Thatwasapresentfrommymom.这可是我妈给我的礼物Well,thenyourmomistryingtogetyoukilled.你妈妈会把你害死的Ready?Steady.Go.准备好了吗预备走No,no,no.Youlooklikeoneofthesevendwarfs.不不你就像七个小矮人之一Butthere'stwostraps.Whywouldtheyputontwostrapsifyou'reonlysupposedtouseone?因为做这些背包的人不够酷就像那些单肩潮男一样Youknowwhathasonestrap?Machineguns.你知道哪些东西是单肩的吗机枪Youknowwhatelse?Electricguitars.还有别的吗电吉他Youknowwhatelse?Purses?你还知道有什么吗女式挎包ButJoshieiscool.Rowley,Joshieisnot可是乔希很酷啊罗利乔希不酷He'salipsynchingpopstarwhosefansareeightyearoldgirls.他这种对口型的歌手粉丝尽是些8岁的小女孩You'rejustjealousthatIwastheonewhodiscoveredhim.是我发现了他你是嫉妒了吧Whoareyougonnalistento,Rowley?MeorJoshie?罗利你到底听谁的我还是乔希Joshiesaystorespectyourparentsandfollowyourdreams.乔希说要孝敬父母追寻梦想ThenJoshiemustgetbeatenupalot.There'sBryceAnderson.Justbecool.Hey,Bryce.Yeah,hey,Bryce!嘿布莱斯嘿布莱斯Cutebutt!You'rekillingme,youknowthat?你害死我了搞什么Look,Rowley,tonight'sHalloween,听着罗利今天是万圣节ourfavoritenightoftheyear,你开玩笑吧Mymomwantedmetobevisibleatnight.whichiswherewe'lldomostofourtrickortreating.Whyarewegoingallthewayoverthere?It'swheretherichpeoplelive.Theyhandouttwo,threepiecesofbigcandytoeachkid.Notthatcandycorncrap.I'mtalkingaboutfullsizeMilkyWaysandNutterButters.Plus,ifwetimeitright,另外要是时机好的话Richpeoplegettiredofansweringtheirdoorsandjustleavethebowlout.Wow,you'relucky.我妈现在都不许我化妆了闭嘴小子我们"湿尿布"乐队今晚有演出Goingtothenorthside,huh?要去北边吗Thedevilworshiperwoods?Youknowaboutthatstory,right?Well,thereusedtobethishouserightherewherethesewoodsare.Theyhadtotearitdown发生什么了Well,alongtimeago,twokidswhowere,Idon'tknow,很久以前有两个孩子maybeinmiddleschool,TheytrickortreatedatthathouseonHalloweennight.Butthehousewasfullofdevilworshiperswhoputthekidsinthesegiantpizzaovens.Andtheycookedthemandtheyatethem.但他们忘了关烤炉How'dthetreesgetthere?Andthentheyplantedtrees.直到今天在万圣节的夜晚Youcanstillhearthedemoniclaughterofthe还能听见那些巫教徒的邪恶笑声Astheyroamthewoods,lookingformorekidstosacrifice!他们在树林里游荡找更多的小孩吃Hey,Rodrick.Ineedyoutohelpmeout.Like…罗德里克过来帮下忙Areyouwearingeyeliner?你是不是画眼线了TrickorTreat.Susan!不给糖就捣乱苏珊I'mondoorduty!Thankyou.我忙着发糖呢谢谢Bubby!咪咪Mom,canyoutellhimtostopcallingmethat?妈能让他别这么叫我了吗Whatifsomebodyhears?要是别人听到怎么办Thenthey'llknowhowmuchhelovesyou.那他们就会知道他有多爱你了Frank,Frank,honey,honey,canyougowiththem?弗兰克亲爱的你能跟他们一起去吗No,Ican't.Igottoguardthehouse不行我要守卫房子incasesomeonetriestoT.P.us.以防有人对我们发动厕纸袭击They'regonnagetdrenchedfromtheroof.我从房顶上浇他个透心凉Honey,forgoodnesssakes,don'tdothatagain.亲爱的这套了Rememberwhathappenedlastyear?还记得去年发生的事吗Igotyou!抓到你了对不起Ithoughttheywereteenagers.AndIcouldn'tseethroughthebushes.Mylegs,theyhurtfromthesqSo,that'swhyI'mdoingitfromtheroofthisyear.SoIcanseewhenthey'recomiCanwegonow?Yes,go.Butstayintheneighborhood.Trickortreat.就在附近别走远不给糖就捣乱Andnonorthside!Wepromise!不许去北边保证不去Wegottostayinthisneighborhoodtherestofthenight.Thatguygavemetwofullsizesnickers!Thesepeoplehavemoneytoburn!Ican'tbelievewegotthismuchcandy.难以置信搞到这么多糖Hey,reflectordude,nicecostume!反光人衣服不错嘛谢谢我妈妈做的Oh,thatwasawesome!Isawyourplates!We'recallingthecops!我看见你们车牌了我们要报警Oh,boy哥们儿Run!Hey,they'regoingthroughtheyard!他们要穿过院子Go,go,go,go,go,go,go!Wherearewegoing?We'retotallyexposed!往哪儿跑我们完全暴露了Mygrandma'shouse!Quickly!这是我奶奶家快Hello?That'snothelping!She'snothome!有人吗没用的她不在家Openthedoor!Getthekey!Okay.Okay.快开门钥匙快点好的好的Openthedoor!Getit!Comeon,let'sgetthem,boys.开门快抓住他们兄弟们Now!Oh,Igotyounow!快抓到你们了Comeon,youbabies!小屁孩出来I'mgonnakickyourbutts!Yeah?youandwhatarmy?Whatever.Youguys'resoluckyyoucanhidetherebehindyourmom!算你们走运躲在妈妈身后No,wearen't!it'snotourhouse!不我们不是在自己家这是他奶奶的房子她都不在家What?Whywouldyoutellthemthat?什么你干嘛告诉他们Oops.糟了Nowthey'renevergonnaleave.这下他们不会走了Youneedtocallyourmomtocomegetus.Minewill,too.Shethinksyou'reabadinfluence.我妈也是她觉得你是个损友她说的没错Thenwe'regonnahavetobustoutofhere.Youhaveanythrees?Gofish.你有三吗过Hey,what'sthat?Danger,danger危险危险Danger,danger危险危险Justbackoff!Idon'twanttohurtanybody,退后我不想伤害任何人Wejustwanttowalkawayandforgetthiseverhappened.我们只想离开当这件事没发生过Nobodyneedstobeahero!whoa!没人想出头逞英雄吧哦I'mgonnaripoffyourarmsandpunchyouinthefacewithyourownfists!They'regaining!Thisway!他们追上来了这边Thedevilworshiperwoods!Noway!那是巫教徒树林不行They'regoingintothewoods.他们进树林了不打死我也不进巫教徒树林Thisisn'tover!这可没完我吓得要命继续跑你听到了吗是巫教徒吗Guys?哥们Arewesafe?Yeah.我们安全了吗是的Andwemadeitwithstillatonofcandy.抱歉我以为是那些大孩子Maybenextyear,pops!Hey!想浇我们等明年吧喂Soanyoneelseexhibitingsymptomsofpink请务必马上和护士联系Infieldtripnews,consentfoforourannualhistoryofplumbingexcursion.IthinkShellyislookAretheytalkingaboutme?我不知道我不懂俄文Finally,somepositionshaveopenedupforthesafetypatrol.Ifanyoneisinterested,seeMr.Winskyafterhomeroom.Nowthat'swhatI'mtalkingabout.Safetypatrol.Thecopsofmiddleschool.安全巡逻队中学校园里的警察可以到处管人举报那些混蛋Andmissclassthreetimesaweek.Whenyouputonthisvestandthat当穿上巡逻队背心戴上徽章Badgeyoubecomeaprotectoroftheweak.因为今天的小小恶习Istomorrow'swindowbreakerandgraffitivandal,Andit'sourjobtostopit.SoIaskyou,areyouupforthejob?我再问一次你们准备好了吗Yes!Yes!是的是的Thenwelcometosafetypatrol.Justremember,withgreatpower…要记住与你们手中权力相伴的whoa.…comesgreatresponsibility.哇是相应大的责任Soyou'llbeexcusedfromthefirst20minutesof6thperiod.Butthatmeanswe'llmissalgebra…ouch!Freehotcocoa.Couldthisdaygetanybetter?免费的热可可今天太棒了抱歉安全巡逻队专用抱歉Yourejectedtheschoolpaper,butyoujoinedthesafetypatrol?你在进化的阶梯上不进反退吗What?什么Look,safetypatrolisthelowestofthelow,Thegeekiestofthegeeky,theislandofmisfittoys.是怪胎的集中营废物的乐土You'rejustjealoustheydon'ttrustyoutokeepourschoolsafe.Nowifyou'llexcuseme,Ineedtosecuretheperimeter.失陪一下我要去确认周边的安全状况了I'mhungry.Keepitstraight,people.我饿了保持队列整齐Singlefileline,onebyone.单列纵队一个接一个Greg!It'sthoseguysfromhalloween!格雷格万圣节那帮人Whatdowedo?Comeon,man,justpullmyfinger.来嘛兄弟拉我的手指我发誓我绝对不动Everybody,shouldertoshoulder.shouldertoshoulder.所有人肩并肩肩并肩快快Thatwasclose.Toocl真险太险了Rowley'sprettyluckytohavemeasafriend.我得到了变态巫师二还有新自行车Andwe'regonnatakeafamilytriptoNYCfornewyear'seve!还有我们全家要去纽约过平安夜Whatdidyouget?Mydadgotmeaweightliftingset.你的礼物是什么我爸给我买了套举重器械你知道这能换多少电玩游戏吗在他逼我练习之前我不得不逃出来不管了去你家玩变态巫师二吧恐怕不行了我爸还在生你气Forwhat?为什么还记得上周我们编的暗语吗Yourpadadpasmellspalikepaawomanpa.你啪爸啪闻啪起啪来啪像啪个啪娘啪们啪我猜他破译了我们的暗号我们只能在外面玩了为什么不是你先骑我来扔你Mylegskindofhurtfromwalkingoverhere.走这么远我的腿有点痛了Okay,Rowley.Comeon.Getup.好了罗利拜托起来吧Shakeitoff.把雪电掉你确定医生没看错Itreallydidn'tlookthatbrokentome.我觉得没那么容易断的确断了Oh,mygosh.whathappened?Ibrokeit.天啊你怎么了摔断了How?Bigwheelaccident.怎么搞的三轮车事故You'refunny.能在你石膏上签名吗我也要我也要签没问题喂是我把他手弄断的Thenyou'reajerk.那你就是个混蛋罗利你真有意思Icouldn'tbelieveit!太不可思议了RowleywaseatingatanactualtablebecauseofsthIdid!因为我所做的事罗利倒能上桌吃饭了我的功劳哪去了Andhe'srighthanded!Hecanfeedhimselfjustfine.他是右撇子完全可以自己吃成为班级风云人物的事进展如何IrealizedRowley'sinjurythingwasaprettygoodracket.我发现了罗利受伤那招很好用嘿诸位你们看天啊你怎么了It'saraginginfectioncausedbyaspl扎了根刺没及时处理引发了严重感染想第一个在我的关怀名单上签名吗Uh...No.嗯不了我来签格雷格·赫夫利ifyou'dletmelookatyourinfection.Andonthexray在X光片上跟我去年的骨折一样而且全都紫了Cool!Mine,too!太酷了我也是Hey,Gregory,wanttosignthecard?格雷格你在卡上签名吗YougotRowleyacard?你给罗利弄了张卡吗What?No,it'sforBryanLittle.啥不是给布莱恩·里特尔的Youknow,theguywhowritesthewackydawgcartoons知道不就是那个在校报上那太糟了So,justoutofcuriosity,who'sgonnadothecartoon?出于好奇随便问问那接下来谁画卡通呢They'rehavingtryouts,buttheimportantthingisBryangetsbetter.不过重要的是希望布莱恩早日康复BryanLittlegettingmonowasdestiny.Idrawcartoonsallthetime.I'mgonnawinthis.我一直都有画卡通我赢定了andforgiveRowleyformilkingthebrokenhandsohardAndItoldhimhecouldworkonthecartoonwithmeSo,Iwasthinkingwecoulddosomethinglikethis!我想我们可以画这样的Oops,Isteppedinapuddle!噢我踩到水坑里了还好坑里不是酸液Oy,oy,oy!Itisanacidpuddle!噢噢噢坑里真的是是酸液偶滴个妈妈偶滴个妈妈It'sthesamejokeeverytime.笑点每次都一样Yeah!zooweemama!没错偶滴个妈妈Wecan'tjustdothesamethingoverandover.我们不能一逼逼老是重复Wecanifit'szooweemama.Ithastobealittlemoresophisticated.这么小儿科可不行Iwonderwhatisinth我想知道这可爱的小盒子里有什么It'snotabox,it'sabrick,youdumbmoron.那不是盒子是一块砖你个蠢蛋Oops!I'vebeentryingtoopenitallday!啊我试了一天都打不开Canhesay,"zooweemama"?No,it'snotfunny.他能说"偶滴个妈妈"吗不行不好笑我觉得很搞笑我喜欢"偶滴个妈妈"你知道不Ifyoulikeitsomuch,thenwhydon'tyougodoityourself?你要真那么喜欢那你就自己画Okay.Iwill.好吧我自己来再见Hey,Iforgotmyraincoat,我忘带雨衣了SoI'mgonnaneedyoutowalkthekidshomet不行我的石膏不能弄湿Youcanborrowmycoat.Where'sRowley?Hecouldn'tgethiscastwet!Hewalksusbetter!他的石膏不能弄湿他带队要好得多0h,no.Oh,mygosh!Spacemonsters!噢糟了宇宙怪兽小朋友快进去快我们要被吃了Comeon!Don'tworry!I'mrightbehindyou!快进去不怕我在后面Whoa!Go!哇进去是的艾尔文太太Sorry,kids!孩子们抱歉了Areyougoingtoeatus?你要吃掉我们吗Andthoughdoctorsassureus蔡太太不会传染给他人了Thenachosbarwillbeclosedfortheremainderoftheweek.Andnow,whatyou'veallbeenwaitingfor.Thefaculty,studentcouncilandselectedthenewcartoonistf获胜的是"zooweemama"byRowleyJefferson!什么太有趣了Greatjob.Zooweemama.Icouldn'tbelieveit.偶滴个妈妈难以置信难道我是唯一懂幽默的吗Rowley,willyouputmeinyourcartoon?Sure.罗利能把我画到漫画里吗当然Andme,too.Iwanttobetheonewhosays"zooweemama."Yougotit!Hey,Rowley,congratulations.没问题罗利恭喜了Thanks.Noproblem.谢谢不客气Ireadallthesubmissionsandyourswasbyfarthebest.我看了所有递交的作品你的绝对是最棒的Ireadyours,too.Hey,Rowley.Hey,Bryce.嘿罗利嘿布莱斯Yeah,hey,Bryce.Hey,fella.Wow.Everyoneknowsmenow.哇现在谁都认识我It'slikeI'mfamous!isn'tthisgrea我出名了啊太棒了是不是是的RowleyJefferson?Ineedtoseeyouinmyoffice,now.IjusttookacallfromaMrs.Irvine怎么了你亵渎了神圣的职责andyoujustspatonit.Icanbarelyevenlookatyou.Youareofficiallysuspendedfromsafetypatrol.我还希望你能向幼儿园的孩子们郑重道歉Yes,sir.是的先生Hey.Whatdidhehavetosay?I'mkickedoff.嗨他说什么了我被开除了Idon'tevenknowwhathe'stalkingaRowley?怎么了没事You'vebeenhomeforanhourandhaven'tbadgeredmeforanysnacks.Well,I'mkindofinatoughsituation.Iknowsomething如果我说实话就有人会倒霉ButifIdon't,itcouldhurtsomebodyelse.如果不说就会伤害其他人Well,youhavetotrustyourgutandtrytodotherightthing,becauseit'sourchoicestha我们正是在一次次选择中历练