英语剧本travel很搞笑.doc

人物：观音菩萨兼如花，唐僧，孙悟空，猪八戒，沙和尚，翠兰菩萨：Congratulations! You have succeded getting the Buddhist Scriptures.To reward you,we decide to provide you a free vacation. Now, you can discuss where you want to go.孙悟空：Hainan .Of course!猪八戒：I prefer Arabia.沙僧：Ill follow our master.（三人争吵）菩萨：(做头疼状)Be quiet !Listen to your masters suggestion.唐僧：Bad guys,how can you ignore me? Slow down and take turns to speak one by one.You guys have stayed for a long time ,just like true brothers.You should learn to be modest ,friendly and kind to each other. Stop quarreling like this,OK?孙悟空：Shut up! Or I”ll beat you.菩萨：(面向观众遮嘴说)Thats just what I want to say!(转回来)Your master is right. Tell us why you choose the place . Wu Kong, U first.孙悟空：How fantastic Hainan is!There are lots of fruits, especially bananas. Xixi, thats my favourite!And trees are high enough for me to climb.The environment is nice and quiet,which is good for master to recite scriptures.Plenty of snacks are perfect for Bajie.Er, for Wujing he can enjoy the green water and blue sky and swimming there.Wow,its wonderful,isnt it? 猪八戒：You know what?You are out of fashion.We should hold an international view and move towards the world.Lets go to Arabia.Arabian dont eat pork,that is great.Besides, its a mysterious and beautiful kingdom. A man can have many wives.Haha,so I can.沙僧：Do you think about my second sister-in-law?She will kill you with a kitchen knife. 猪八戒：All right.Where do you want to go?沙僧：We can go to Australia, Greece,Italy,Japan.On the beach,under the sunshine,we can enjoy the beautiful scenery.In addition ,there are lots of hot girls.Its very suitable for you.唐僧：Listen to me .Im your leader. I have decided, well go to Thailand. Our job is monk.Thailand is full of Buddhism culture. We can communicate with the local monks. Fruits, beautiful girls and places to swim,I can also find all of them in Thailand. Oh,I feel Im so smart.Do you admire me?hahaha.(众人上前围殴)菩萨：Where is the White Horse?沙僧：He is forced to attend a TV meeting by his father. 非诚勿扰，have you heard?菩萨：Oh, you just remind me. I have applied for the TV meeting too. I must leave or I will miss my prince.当晚。高老庄翠兰：My husband, I have packed everything which you will take to Thailand. Where could you find a virtuous wife like me? How could you leave me alone at home? (翠兰掩面哭泣，猪上前安慰)猪八戒：Dont cry,darling.I will be back soon.翠兰：(擦泪)Take care of the passport 、certificate and so on.It is very hot in Thailand,youd better watch out for becoming a roast pig.Look,I have made a waistcoat for you.Do you know what letters are on it? The pig of Cuilan“.You are my lovely pig forever.You mustnt get along with other girls outside.猪八戒：Honey ,dont worry. I only love you forever.(面向观众轻声说)Thats impossible！登机中孙：Im always going out by my cloud,its so amazing to take a plane.唐僧：Oh my god.People on the ground are so small ,they just look like ants.沙僧：The plane hasnt taken off . Those are actually ants .(淡定加鄙视)泰国街上唐僧：There are so many temples in Thailand that the atmosphere of Buddhism is deep.Im an educated person. Whats more ,I have received further study abroad .Its just a piece of cake to give a lecture. 孙：Its said that many monsters here.I feel a littel uncomfortable not to hold my magical golden stick for such a long time.Having eaten and drunk enough,its time for me to do some exercise.Do you know why I am so slim while Bajie is so fat? Because he only cares about falling in love with others while I keep doing sports. 沙僧：I want to swim, have I taken swimming suit?I need to ask my sister-in-low.(打电话)沙僧：Hello , dear sister-in-law.Have you prepared swimming suit for me?翠兰：I have told you many times! The swimming suits are .(与此同时，八戒在采野花)猪八戒：Excuse me,beauty.Would you please have a meal with me?翠兰：Shit!He is picking wild flowers,right?Im so angry!I will kill him!如花:(回头，搔首弄姿，抛一电眼)：Oh,handsome boy,aye you talking to me？（众人一见其面容，顿时呕吐不止。如花的电眼恰射中八戒，八戒口吐白沫晕倒）如花（定睛一看）：What an ugly pig!Dare talk to me?(甩甩头发，走了)翠兰：（拿菜刀上)Stupid pig!I will kill you!Stop running!众人回头并追上翠兰Calm down!sister-in-law!英语有关旅游小剧本2009-10-20人物：观音菩萨，唐僧，孙悟空，猪八戒，沙和尚，翠兰，如花菩萨：你们(nimen)西天取经功德圆满。为了奖励你们(nimen)，上头决定给你们一次公费度假的机会，你们商量一下去哪里。孙悟空：去海南猪八戒：去阿拉伯沙僧：我听师父的三人一顿狂吵，菩萨做头疼状，发动狮吼功：别吵了，听你们师傅怎么说。唐僧：那个你们啊，怎么可以不尊重师傅我呢?你们要说就一个一个慢慢来，不要哦着急嘛。你们师兄弟之间要互相谦让，不可以这么争来争去的孙：闭嘴！信不信我揍你啊！菩萨：(内心)悟空真是说出了我的心声啊！(又复转头对众人)你们师傅说的没错。先说说你们选哪个地方的理由。悟空，你先说孙：海南好啊。水果多，尤其是香蕉多。树也很高，最适合我爬树了。海南风景也好，环境清幽，适合师傅静心打坐。小吃多，呆子就可以一饱口福。至于沙僧，就可以享受那的蓝天碧水，最适合游泳。猪：什么呀，猴哥，你也忒没档次了。怎么也要走向国际啊。去阿拉伯吧。那的人都不吃猪肉，我最喜欢了。而且那里是个神秘而美丽的国度，还能娶很多老婆沙僧：那我二嫂怎么办啊?不难想象二嫂会拿把菜刀狂喊：猪头，我砍死你猪：那你说，去哪?沙僧：我们可以去澳大利亚、意大利、希腊、日本那的风景多好，水还清澈，我们就晒晒日光浴、游个泳，沙滩上还有妹妹看。二师兄，最适合你了唐僧：听我的，我是老大。我们去泰国。我们的职业是和尚，咱就去个有佛教氛围的地方，和那的和尚讲讲经、交流交流。那里水果也多，美女也多，还可以游泳，都符合你们的条件。老大就是老大，主意就是好！哈哈哈(做陶醉状)众人上前围殴菩萨：那个，白龙马呢?沙僧：他被他爸逼去相亲了啊。不用算他那份当晚。高老庄翠兰：相公，你们去泰国的东西我都准备好了。像我这么贤惠的妻子，你上哪找去啊！你怎么舍得我独守空房呢?(翠兰掩面哭泣，猪上前安慰)翠兰：护照、证件什么的一定要拿好，不要弄丢了。泰国天很热，小心变成烤乳猪。看，我给你做了一件背心，你看上面绣着的字是什么?翠兰之猪。你永远是我的小猪猪，不准采外面的野花啊猪：娘子放心，我永远只爱你一人(内心：那是不可能的)出发。登机孙：老孙我一辈子翻筋斗云，终于能做次飞机啦沙僧：唉呀妈呀，下面的人怎么这么小，跟蚂蚁似的唐僧：飞机还没起飞，下面的就是蚂蚁泰国街上唐僧：泰国这么多庙，就是有佛教气氛。咱也是文化人，好歹我也是海归，开个佛经讲座，小case。孙：听说这里也有妖怪，老孙我好久没碰金箍棒，手都痒了。吃饱喝足，正好活动活动筋骨。知道我为什么这么苗条金刚这么胖不?就是因为我运动