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P90Ari seemed to be born unafraid of competition and conflict, especially physical battle. Sympathetic to the underdog, he usually took Rahms side when the fight became physical and as he quickly grew to be bigger and stronger, their little team became quite powerful. More than anything, Ari seemed to enjoy inciting us whenever things got too quiet. With mischief in his eyes and a grin on his face, Ari would needle and annoy until someone lashed out. The instant you moved to swat him, he would dash off so quickly that it was almost impossible to catch him. All the while Ari would laugh with excitement because he had made something happen. 阿里似乎天生不怕争斗,更不怕打架。他常同情弱者,打架的时候会站到拉姆一边,由于他很快长得又大又强,他们的小团队也变得相当强大了。阿里总爱没事儿找事儿。阿里常带着淘气是申请龇牙咧嘴的挑逗和激怒我们直到有人开打。你打出的一刹那间,他会快速的闪开,你不可能抓到他。阿里始终会很兴奋的发笑,因为他已经挑起了事端。Inside the family, Aris modus operandi fell squarely in the range of normal. We all liked to test and challenge and any hard feelings that arose during our fights faded faster than the bruises. He was also accepted by the Glass brothers and other friends in the neighborhood because of his fearlessness. But when he got to school, his restlessness became a problem. Ari was highly verbal, incredibly alert he had a great memory and learned certain things very quickly and very charming, yet when it came to reading and writing, he ran into a wall.在家里,阿里的一贯做法是不越出雷池一步。我们之间的战斗平息之后,我们喜欢应对任何挑战和伤害。他也因为无所畏惧而被格拉斯兄弟和其他邻居朋友接受了。但在学校,他的这种满不在乎便成了问题。阿里表达能力很强,思维也相当敏捷,记忆力相当好,学东西也很快,这些都显示了他的魅力所在,可一到阅读和写作,他就四处碰壁。While other kids wrote out letters, Ari struggled to translate what he saw on the blackboard to the paper on his desk. He wrote individual letters backward and reversed the order of letters in words. Dog became bog and boy became yod. Born into a home filled with books, and now settled into a school where scholarship equaled success, Ari fell further and further behind his brothers and his classmates. Worse, he had trouble sitting still long enough to complete a lesson, and it was practically impossible for him to spend extra time studying. He had too much energy, and was too easily distracted.其他孩子都写完的时候,阿里还在极力的把黑板上看到的翻译到他的卷子上。他把单个的字母写反,把单词的顺序写颠倒。结果“狗”就变成了“泥塘”,“男孩儿”就变成了“希伯来文的第十个字母”。出生在书香门第,现在却陷入到了学分决定成败的学校中。阿里越来越落后于他的兄弟和同学们。更糟的是,他都难以安静的坐到下课了,当然也就更不可能在额外的时间学习了。他精力过于充分,但又过于分散精力。Today, a boy like Ari would be diagnosed with dyslexia and would be given help from specially trained teachers, extra time to complete assignments, and a way to think about himself that would spare him from feeling like a failure. In the mid- 1960s, dyslexia and attention deficit disorder were just beginning to gain attention among physicians and educators. Like most kids with learning difficulties, Ari was lectured and given extra drills in the belief that he just needed to pay attention and practice a little more. In the eyes of the adults charged with his education, Aris problem wasnt developmental or neurological. Despite the obvious evidence to the contrary, they seemed to think that his problem was a lack of effort.要是今天,阿里会被认为是诵读障碍,并会给予特殊老师的训练和额外的作业。甚至让他考虑和反思避免失败的方法。但在20世纪六十年代,诵读障碍和注意力混乱缺乏才刚刚在医学界和教育界开始引起注意。就像大多数有学习障碍的孩子一样,阿里经常受到教训并额外进行训练,他们都认为他只需要稍加锻炼和集中注意力便可凑效。在主导他教育的那些人眼中,阿里的问题不是神经系统的和发育方面的问题。尽管明显的表征恰恰相反。他们仍然认为他的问题是缺少努力的原因。P91Ari could not make others understand that he was trying as hard as he could. Nor could he explain that to him, the letters and words he wrote on his paper matched what he saw on the blackboard or in his workbook assignments. Eventually he began to fear that his inability to read was caused by a character defect or a basic lack of intelligence. He did not share these feelings openly. In fact, he buried them so deeply that they only came out in bursts of aggression or anger. He argued and got into fights that showed he was upset, but Ari never explained his motives. Then, in an unexpected moment, the truth would bubble to the surface.尽管阿里很努力,别人还是不能理解。他从来不解释什么,只是把那些他在黑板上看到的字母和单词写到纸上或是他的作业本上。最后他也开始怀疑自己的这种阅读障碍是因为性格缺陷和智力障碍引起的。他从来不跟别人谈及这个。实事上,他把这些隐藏的很深,也只有在愤怒和攻击别人的时候才会爆发出来。他与别人争吵、打架表明他心里很不安,但阿里从来不解释他心里所想。然后这些事实在不经意间就会冒出水面。One day, he and my mother walked to the park with our dog Andele. It was the end of August and Ari, age seven, was thinking about the school year that lay ahead. As they walked he searched the ground for sticks that he then threw for the dog to fetch. “Look, Mommy!” he shouted as he wound up and threw a stick so far that it landed beyond the glow of the streetlight.有一天,他和妈妈一起牵着阿黛尔去公园散步。当时正是八月末,阿里刚刚七岁,正在想着今后上学的事情。他边走边在地上找树枝让小狗去叼。“妈妈,你看”他停下来喊道,把树枝扔到灯光照不到的地方。“Wow, Ari, youve got quite an arm,” said my mother.“哇,阿里,你的臂膀好有力,”我妈妈说“Yeah,” he replied, “I can throw but I still cant read.”“是啊,”他说,“我虽然能扔,但还是不能读”Other kids had mastered reading and writing simple sentences, complete with proper punctuation, while Ari was still struggling to transcribe single letters properly. The humiliation he experienced every time he was called on to read aloud was so unbearable that even during the summer break, he was thinking about the failure that awaited him in September as adults again demanded that he “buckle down” and try harder. All his effort produced no real gain.其他的孩子都已经掌握了简单句子的读写,并能正确的标出标点符号,而阿里还在艰辛的抄写单个的字母。每次他所经历的这种被叫起来大声朗读的羞辱,他实在是难以忍受,以致暑假期间,他都在想那些九月份等待着他的事情,那时,那些大人们又会要他全力以赴,加强努力。所有的努力都没有真正的回报。My mother understood Aris predicament and tried to compensate by giving him extra attention when he did homework. She also pressed him by making sure he understood that he was expected to give it his best whenever he did anything. On his own, Ari would look for different ways to show his intelligence and talent. He became highly skilled at social relationships and adept at both charming and manipulating adults. Not surprisingly, his methods were least effective at home, where my parents understood Aris techniques and generally refused to be charmed. When it came to measuring both our effort and our achievement, they maintained very high standards. It was a tough kind of love, and Ari often resented it.我们理解阿里的窘况,在做家庭作业是极力的给他更多的关心和补偿。她也会强迫他让他知道他自己是在尽自己最大努力来做每一件事情。阿里自己则用不同的办法表明自己的才华和能力。他很熟练的处理社会关系,而且很擅长于处理和大人之间的关系。当在评价我们的努力和成绩时,他们会用很高的标准,这是一种很残酷的爱,阿里常常怨恨不已。P92Decades later, it would not take much prodding to get Ari to recall the burning sense of shame he felt as he tried to overcome his problem in full view of his classmates and brothers. “Do you have any idea what kind of torture it was like to sit there every day?” he would ask Rahm and me. “It was hard enough for me to sit still, and even if I could do that it was almost impossible for me to do what the teachers expected.”几十年之后,依然能唤起阿里对那种他极力在同学和兄弟之间克服障碍的灼痛的耻辱感。“你有没有想过每天都坐在那里是一种怎样的痛苦和折磨?”他经常会问拉姆和我。“我很难安然入座,即便可以,我也不可能做的像老师们期待的那样。”In fact, Rahm and I did know something of what Ari felt. As brothers we may have teased and tortured him on other matters but we did not try to embarrass him when it came to reading and writing. Aris struggles were so painful to him that we would have been especially cruel to torment him about it. Also, he was a tough little guy, which meant that he could respond to our teasing with the kind of physical attack that more than paid you back for whatever psychic pain you might inflict on him. Fundamentally, though, it was easy for us to understand how it felt to be on the hot seat, sensing the pressure of our mothers expectations and fearing that you might not measure up.事实上,拉姆和我并不知道阿里的感觉。作为兄弟们,我们会取笑和折磨他,但决不会在阅读和写作的时候让他难堪。阿里的努力很痛苦,而我们的残酷无情让他更痛苦
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