大学英语写作Unit 2.doc

Unit 2 避免跑题在第一单元里我们从宏观角度讨论了英语文章结构的组成部分，包括开头、中间和结尾。我们知道，文章的结构是为内容服务的，也就是说它是文章内容的外在显现，一篇文章如何布局要由内容来决定。那么内容又是什么呢?内容是作者要表达的思想。比如，作者的写作目的是想劝说人们保护野生动物，那么他首先应该谈为什么野生动物需要保护，它们和人类的关系是什么，如果没有野生动物和人类共同存在人类将会怎样，等等。作者还可以通过具体的事例论证一些濒危动物可能会给人类生活带来的麻烦。作者在文章的最后可以得出这样的结论：野生动物必须和人类共存。现在，我们需要了解两个与内容密切相关的概念：主题(topic)和论题(thesis)。主题泛指一篇文章讨论的主要问题，通常用“关于”来表述。如上面举的例子可以用一句“这篇文章是关于野生动物保护的”来概括其主题。又比如，习作1至3的主题是有关选修“英语写作”课的目的。罗索散文的主题是有关自己生活目的。论题是指真实性需要经过证明的命题。如鲁迅的杂文“论费厄波赖应该缓行”就可视为文章的论题，尽管它又是文章的标题。由于主题这个概念的内涵比较宽泛，在议论文写作中作者应该紧紧围绕文章的论题来写。除了主题与论题之外，我们还应该了解一些与议论文相关的概念，如论点(argument)、论据(evidence)和结论(conclusion)。作者对论题的态度以及论证这一意见的理由称论点。用来支持作者论点的事实或思辨(析理)称为论据。文章最后得出的结论应该是作者为之辩护的论点。在写作议论文的整个过程中，论点、论据和论证的过程都要紧紧围绕论题。下面让我们看一组同学自己命题的作文，题目是“互联网增强还是削弱了人际关系?”首先让我们来分析一下这个标题。读到这个标题以后我们立刻会想到这是一个具有争议的题目。为什么会做出这样的判断呢?因为在标题中我们看到对互联网与人际关系之间存在两种不同的意见，而作者的任务就是要在文章中表明自己的观点，并用事实来证明自己观点的正确性。所以这篇文章是通过自己的议论要读者相信作者的观点，因此，它是一篇议论文。本单元拟回答以下几个问题：1如何辨认文章的论题?2论题在文章中的位置如何?3如何使论据围绕论题而写?4结论与论点的关系是什么?Student Essay 4Has The Internet Strengthened or Weakened Human Relationships?1 With the wide spread With wide spread of the internet，it isinfiltrating to everybodys lifeBut what is the influence of theinternet on the personal relationship on personal relationship?Maybe，as the old saying goes “one coins has two sides，I thinkthe internet also has two sides，the positive one and the negativeone2 Lets talk about the positive effect of the Internet firstAs weknow, evident features of the net are that it contains such hugequantities of information and also has so fast a speedIt enablesus to communicate with others more conveniently. For example，if you want to send e-mails to a friend, just by a click，the otherone can read it almost at the same timeWithout having to waitfor a long time for ordinary mails, without being anxious for themissing letter，you can communicate with your friends millionsof miles away3 The Internet not only strengthens friendship but also makes youcloser to strangers，and if goes a step further if going a stepfurther，to the whole worldYour friends can vary frompresidents to prisoners，from the rich to the poor，from the far tothe close. There is no boundary of nations，races，culturalbackground，and so onYou are nearly entirely freeYou canfind the ones who appreciate you，who like you，who cansympathize with youSo join the Internet and show yourself!Express yourself on the BBS；make you understood makeyourself understood on the OICQ; meet new guys by chatting；get bosom friends who have the same attitude towards the worldwith you! You will cry out “What a world：What a net!”，In aword，just because of the internet, you are closer to the othersin another word world4 The net not only has its beautiful side，but also has the ugly one，that is the negative aspectIs it safe to communicate on the net?Will everyone earnestly face the others when in a virtual World?And if just communicate if a person just communicates withthe machine directly all the time，will the person she get alongwith the human beings normally in everyday life? These are thequestions that puzzled are puzzling a lot of people5 More and more facts seemed to take us beside an unfathomableabyssIs the net safe enough for us to get in touch with others?Can we believe in the people on the net? The cruel truth makesus hold backThe CIH，the LOVE Bug，the false applicationsmake us hesitate to open new mailsThe news that net murderskilled innocent girls through the net has already shaken theWorldAlthough the safety of the net is better day by day, westill just have few ways to defend fight against hackersattacks.6 All of the above seemed to let us suspect nearly anyone on thenetIn another word In other words，doesnt the Internetweaken human relationship? You may cry out again“What aworld! What a net!” with a contrary meanings7 After the above analysis you may be more puzzledIt seems thatI havent told you whether I think the net has strengthened orweakened human relationship at allIn fact，there is no answer. Itjust depend on how you will harness it, and how you use it. Wemust be conscious of its both sides.读完习作4之后我们发现，作者并没有像我们先前想像的那样要表明自己的立场。而是持一种不偏不倚的态度，她认为互联网同时既可以增强也可以削弱人际关系。那么这是否符合议论文的写法呢?如前所述，议论的实质就是人们对某个问题的看法存在异议，无法达成一致，因此需要通过辩论而得到解决。那么议论文的作者就是要在坚持自己观点的前提下尽可能通过各种论证手法使读者相信自己是正确的。假如作者自己对两种观点不发表任何意见，而是让读者自己拿出判断，那么这篇文章就不能称其为议论文。从习作的标题我们可以看出，作者应该在两者中选择一个立场，或者认为互联网削弱了人际交往，或者认为互联网增进了人际交往，二者必居其一。习作4的弱点正在于此。作者认为互联网既可以增强人际关系也可以削弱人际关系。那么这样的内容就与标题不符，没有回答标题提出的问题。如果将标题修改一下使它变为说明文可能会好一些。如果用“互联网在人际关系中扮演的角色”这样的标题可能更加贴切。我们知道，说明文与议论文之间的区别就在于说明文的作者旨在客观地陈述或解释事物而不对其做任何价值判断。而议论文作者的目的就在于为自己持有的观点进行辩护以使读者信服。议论文的作者对他议论的事物做着价值判断，即根据作者的观点指出其正确与错误。因此，习作4的作者犯了议论文的文不对题的错误，应该予以纠正。现在让我们来具体分析一下习作4。文章的开头部分提出论题：“我认为互联网有它好的一面和不好的一面。”这里我们可以区别一下论题和论点。论题是文章所要讨论的主要议题，论点则是作者对议题所采取的态度和提供的理由。论题是需要作者通过举例或分析说理进行证明的。本文中作者的论题与标题出入很大。从标题上看作者的任务应该是对其做出或肯定或否定的回答，而不是同时既赞扬它又否定它。由于作者的论题站不住脚，那么后来的论证过程也就不得不成为多余的。由此可见，在写议论文时首先要做到立场鲜明，如果立场不鲜明，不管你如何去证明，结论也必然是没有价值的。Student Essay 5Has the Internet Strengthened or Weakened Human Relationship?1 As what people always say, a “dot com” time has already arrived.People can do everything on lineOrdering meals, buyingnecessaries, inquiring obtaining information andcommunicating with others, everything on line without talkingto everything could be carried out on line without ones talkingto a person in realityThus，does the Internet weaken the humanrelationship? The answer is “No.”2 As we all know, nowadays，competition is vehement. Peoplecompete for money, estates，opportunities，etcTo win thosecompetitions, the most important factor is to gain more time. Sosaving time as much as possible is necessary and the Internet hassolved this problem exactly. People can save time in shopping，eating, which contribute nothing to the human relationshipunless you consider talking to a seller or a waiter you dontknow as a way to strengthen human relationshipThey actuallyhave saved the time so that they will have more time tocommunicate with the persons people they know in actual life.3 Maybe you may say You may say the time they saved from theInternet is not spent on talking with persons in actuallife，but online in virtual reality，which makes them ignore thepeople imitate to they people intimate to themHowever,chatting on line makes them talk to another group of people whoare more fit for themThey have the same hobbies or areinterested in the same thingPeople can communicate withpeople all over the worldSo the Internet gives people moreopportunities to get in touch with more people，whichstrengthens the relationship in a more wide range，especially forthe people in the same interest with the same interest4 There are some people thinking that talking to a person in avirtual world undependable unreliableActually talking withan unknown friend always makes a person feel more freeTheytalk about their secrets，troubles，and embarrassing affairs,without apprehending them to be exposed，which may disrupttheir real lifeThat provides an opportunity for humans tounderstand more about others true mind，unlike the fact thateveryone wears a mask in factual life5 So，the Internet strengthens the Internet has strengthened therelationship of human beings. For it not only can Because it cannot only strengthen the traditional relationship，but also provides a wider, truer relationship provide a wider and truer relationship among human beings.文章共分五个自然段。从内容上看，第一自然段是开头部分，第二、三、四自然段是中间部分，第五自然段是结尾部分。让我们先看开头段。在这一段里作者就互联网的使用背景作了必要的介绍，接着亮出自己的观点：互联网的使用并没有削弱人际关系。这样做符合议论文的写法，所谓“开门见山，观点鲜明”。在以后的论证过程中作者是否紧紧围绕这一观点来进行的呢?现在我们来看作者是如何寻找论据的。第一个论据是互联网的使用大大节省了时间，因此人们可以将富余的时间用来交往。这里有个问题，那就是人们节省下来的时间是否一定会用于交往。如果用来做其他的事情是否也可以说明此问题? 显然，作者在这里有欠考虑，因为“节省时间”和“社会交往”没有必然的因果关系，因此不可以用来做自己的议论的证据。这第一个论据不是非常切题。作者找出的第二个证据似乎也不准确。他说在互联网上人们可以扩大社交面，接触更多的人，因此增进了人际关系。然而，社交面的扩大并不意味着能够增进人与人之间的了解。有些人尽管社交面很广，但都是泛泛之交，你能说这可以加深人际关系吗? 显然不能。因此，作者在这里犯了一个偷换概念的错误。即把“扩大社交面”与“增进人际关系”等同起来。所以这第二个论据也不很恰当。第三个论据是贴切的。作者认为由于互联网的特殊交往环境使人们没有面对面交往时的拘谨和防备心理，因此可以推心置腹，流露真切的感情。其结果就是人与人之间的关系得到了加强。Student Essay 6Has the Internet Strengthened or Weakened Human Relationship?1 The Internet is playing an important part in our livesWe getinformation，make friends and contact others easily with the helpof the Internet. Although we got much more relationship with the outer world weve had much more contacts with the outside world I dont think the human relationship has been strengthened as a resultTo theopposite On the contrary，the Internet is by some means to acertain extent weakening the human relationship.2 In human society, everyone has his own dutyWe work or livetogether，gradually know one another and form the associationrelationshipWe trust and cooperate with each other to makewe live better to make us 1ive betterThat is the traditionalhuman relationshipBut the Internet is breaking the rulesMaking friends on the Internet, you dont have to do any dutybe responsibleJudging a person is no longer by his deed butjust by his wordsAll you find are the good points of yourfriend，so everything seems to be perfectAt the same time，something mysterious about her or him makes you crazyMaybethis is just the reason way why so many people are fascinatedby the illusory world in Internet the illusory world of theInternet3 The Internet is not only changing the world，but also changingthe way of our liveIn fact，the Internet is making us restless-people nolonger want to do so many things and cost spend somuch time to form a friendship obtaining friendship or evenloveTruth or false Truth or falsehood is no longer importanton the InternetAll people want are just some excitementsOnoicq，if you are a young girl，the first sentence from a strangerwould be: “Do you have a bf?” And the next would be：“Can Ibe your boyfriend?” (If yon say no) or “Let me be yourbrother.” (If you say yes) Making friends or falling in love isso easy, and ending up an association is easy as wellTheattitude is gradually brought into the real worldSomeone Somepeople become distrustful of others，someone believes whileothers believe that nothing in the world will would existforeverThe human relationship is not sosincere than before as before4 At the same time，getting on line takes so much time in peoples life that they have no time to treat their family and their friendsin the real world. The world of the Internet can be perfect, muchbetter than the realityPeople get interested in the Internet only,and neglect the true love in the real world5 In these conditions，new associations are more and moreunstable，and the traditional relationships are breaking down atthe same timeThe Internet，more precisely, the way of life thatthe Internet brings has brought to us，is weakening the humanrelationship习作6分五个自然段。从内容上看，第一自然段为开头部分，第二、三、四自然段为中间部分，第五自然段为结尾部分。在开头部分作者简单地介绍了互联网在我们生活中起的作用，然后话锋一转提出自己的观点：互联网不但没有增进反而削弱了人际关系。下面让我们来看看本文的内容是否切题。 在第二段的论证中，作者对比了传统的人际关系和互联网上形成的人际关系，指出后者缺乏真实性，因为人们只知道对方的优点，而不了解对方的缺点。但是，作者并没有明确指出这非但没有增进人际关系，反而削弱之。这种没有前后照应的写法缺乏连贯性，而读者是否能够明白还是个问号。尤其是本段的第一句“In human society, everyone has his own duty”似乎与讨论的题目关系不大。改正的方法最好是在段落的开头用一个主题句表明本段的中心思想，如The use of the Internet has changed the traditionalWay of communication”。这样，读者就知道这段的中心思想是什么了，同时也把这一段与前面那段衔接了起来。 第三段是写互联网上的交友方式严重影响了现实生活中人际之间的交往原则。由于网上交谈可以不负任何责任，于是信口胡说、美化自己的行为随处可见。这增加了人们之间的不信任感，其结果就是削弱了人际关系。本段的论证切题。 第四段接着论述互联网的害处。它使人们耽于虚拟世界，忽视了亲情和友情，因而削弱了人际关系。尽管三、四两段都很切题，但是作者却忘记重复一下自己的观点，以增强说服力和连贯性。 第五段的结论写得很好，它由两个前提(premises)引出：网上联络的感情很不稳定，传统的人际关系被打破。所以，结论是互联网使人际关系变得淡薄。 总体上看，这篇习作除第二段外论证的过程基本是围绕中心思想的。主要缺点在于作者对英文的衔接手法不熟，对读者的理解力期待过高。因此文章中有一些论述不很明确的地方。这里需要指出的是东西方思维存在的差异。有时我们认为自己的想法很清楚，读者会根据上下文正确判断作者意图，因此有些应该交代清楚的地方省略掉了。像罗素那样不断重复前面提到的关键词以使读者明了作者意图，这种情形在我们就很难做到。这表明我们中国人对读者的期待很高。但西方人则不这样。他们习惯于一种极严谨的逻辑思维方式，力求做到论