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The glass castle1 I never believed in Santa Claus.2 None of us kids did. Mom and Dad refused to let us. They couldnt afford expensive presents, and they didnt want us to think we werent as good as other kids who, on Christmas morning, found all sorts of fancy toys under the tree that were supposedly left by Santa Claus. So they told us all about how other kids were deceived by their parents, how the toys the grown-ups claimed were made by little elves wearing bell caps in their workshop at the North Pole actually had labels on them saying MADE IN JAPAN.3 Try not to look down on those other children, Mom said. Its not their fault that theyve been brainwashed into believing silly myths.4 We celebrated Christmas, but usually about a week after December 25, when you could find perfectly good bows and wrapping paper that people had thrown away and Christmas trees discarded on the roadside that still had most of their needles and even some silver tinsel hanging on them. Mom and Dad would give us a bag of marbles or a doll or a slingshot that had been marked way down in an after-Christmas sale.5 Dad lost his job at the gypsum mine after getting in an argument with the foreman, and when Christmas came that year, we had no money at all. On Christmas Eve, Dad took each of us kids out into the desert night one by one. I had a blanket wrapped around me, and when it was my turn, I offered to share it with Dad, but he said no thanks. The cold never bothered him. I was five that year and I sat next to Dad and we looked up at the sky. Dad loved to talk about the stars. He explained to us how they rotated through the night sky as the earth turned. He taught us to identify the constellations and how to navigate by the North Star. Those shining stars, he liked to point out, were one of the special treats for people like us who lived out in the wilderness. Rich city folks, hed say, lived in fancy apartments, but their air was so polluted they couldnt even see the stars. Wed have to be out of our minds to want to trade places with any of them.6 Pick out your favorite star, Dad said that night. He told me I could have it for keeps. He said it was my Christmas present. You cant give me a star! I said. No one owns the stars. Thats right, Dad said. No one else owns them. You just have to claim it before anyone else does, like that dago fellow Columbus claimed America for Queen Isabella. Claiming a star as your own has every bit as much logic to it.7 I thought about it and realized Dad was right. He was always figuring out things like that.8 I could have any star I wanted, Dad said, except Betelgeuse and Rigel, because Lori and Brian had already laid claim to them.9 I looked up to the stars and tried to figure out which was the best one. You could see hundreds, maybe thousands or even millions, twinkling in the clear desert sky. The longer you looked and the more your eyes adjusted to the dark, the more stars youd see, layer after layer of them gradually becoming visible. There was one in particular, in the west above the mountains but low in the sky, that shone more brightly than all the rest.10 I want that one, I said.11 Dad grinned. Thats Venus, he said. Venus was only a planet, he went on, and pretty dinky compared to real stars. She looked bigger and brighter because she was much closer than the stars. Poor old Venus didnt even make her own light, Dad said. She shone only from reflected light. He explained to me that planets glowed because reflected light was constant, and stars twinkled because their light pulsed.12 I like it anyway, I said. I had admired Venus even before that Christmas. You could see it in the early evening, glowing on the western horizon, and if you got up early, you could still see it in the morning, after all the stars had disappeared.13 What the hell, Dad said. Its Christmas. You can have a planet if you want.14 And he gave me Venus.15 That evening over Christmas dinner, we all discussed outer space. Dad explained light years and black holes and quasars and told us about the special qualities of Betelgeuse, Rigel, and Venus. Betelgeuse was a red star in the shoulder of the constellation Orion. It was one of the largest stars you could see in the sky, hundreds of times bigger than the sun. It had burned brightly for millions of years and would soon become a supernova and burn out. I got upset that Lori had chosen a clunker of a star, but Dad explained that soon meant hundreds of thousands of years when you were talking about stars.16 Rigel was a blue star, smaller than Betelgeuse, Dad said, but even brighter. It was also in Orionit was his left foot, which seemed appropriate, because Brian was an extra-fast runner.17 Venus didnt have any moons or satellites or even a magnetic field, but it did have an atmosphere sort of similar to earths, except it was super-hotabout five hundred degrees or more. So, Dad said, when the sun starts to burn out and earth turns cold, everyone here might want to move to Venus to get warm. And theyll have to get permission youre your descendants first.18 We laughed about all the kids who believed in the Santa myth and got nothing for Christmas but a bunch of cheap plastic toys. Years from now, when all the junk they got is broken and long forgotten, Dad said, youll still have your stars.玻璃城堡我从来不相信有圣诞老人。我们家的孩子没人相信,因为爸爸妈妈不让我们相信。他们买不起昂贵的礼物,也不想让我们觉得我们比不上别的孩子在圣诞节早上,他们从圣诞树下找到各种各样的新奇玩具,据说是圣诞老人留下的。所以他们告诉我们其他的孩子怎样被父母骗了,说那些大人们所说的由戴着有铃铛的帽子的小精灵在他们的北极工厂所做的玩具其实标签上都写着“日本制造”。“尽量不要看不起其他小孩,”妈妈跟我们说,“他们被洗脑了,以致相信那些愚蠢的童话,这并不是他们的错。”我们也庆祝圣诞节,但通常比12月25日晚大约一周。那时候可以找到人们丢弃的非常好的蝴蝶结、包装纸及松针几乎完好就被人们扔在路旁的圣诞树,有些树上甚至还挂着一些银色的闪光金属箔。爸爸和妈妈会给我们一包彩色玻璃弹子或一个洋娃娃或弹弓,那是在圣诞节后商品大减价时买来的。在与工头吵了一架后爸爸丢了石膏矿的工作,所以在那年的圣诞节,我们一贫如洗。圣诞前夕,爸爸把我们轮流带到荒野的夜幕中。我当时裹着一床毯子,在轮到我的时候,我要把毯子分给爸爸一些,但爸爸说不用,他从不怕冷。那年我五岁,我挨着爸爸坐下,我们一起抬头看天空。爸爸很喜欢谈论星星。他告诉我们随着地球的自转星星怎么旋转、穿行于夜空。他教我们怎么辨别星座,怎么通过北极星找路。他喜欢强调一点:那些闪亮的星星是对像我们这样住在荒野里的人的特别款待。他说,那些有钱的城里人虽然住在漂亮的公寓里,他们却看不到星星,因为空气被严重污染了。如果我们想与他们中的任何一个交换住所,那我们肯定是疯了。那天晚上爸爸对我说:“挑一颗你最喜欢的星星吧。”他说我可以一直拥有那颗星星,那是给我的圣诞礼物。我说:“你不能给我星星,没有人拥有这些星星。”爸爸说:“对,其他任何人都不拥有这些星星。所以现在你只要在其他人之前声称它是你的,就像拉丁佬哥伦布替伊莎贝拉女王声称美洲是他们的那样。声称一颗星星是你的,其中的道理与那个是完全一样的。”我想了想,发现爸爸是对的。他一直都是这样推理的。爸爸说我可以要我想要的任何星星,除了参宿四和参宿七(猎户座的两颗星星),因为洛丽和布赖恩已经认领了这两颗。我抬头看着星星,想挑出最好的那颗。在清朗的荒野的夜空中,有成百、成千甚至上万颗星星在闪烁。看的时间越久你的眼睛就越适应黑暗,你就可以看到更多的星星。渐渐地它们一层层地呈现在你的眼前。其中有一颗很特别,它在山的西面,但处于低空,显得比其他所有的星星都更亮。“我要那颗,”我说。爸爸笑

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