沪江黑暗版考研英语作文真题解析.doc

黑 暗 版 考研英语历年作文解析（20032006）内 部 资 料沪江考研试题研究中心目录前言3第一部分：考研作文评分标准4第二部分：考研图画作文题目写作思路分析4第三部分：历年真题习作举例分析5一、2006年考研作文真题各档次作文举例分析5二、2005年真题习作举例分析9三、2004年真题习作举例分析15四、2003年真题习作举例分析20第四部分：经典句型25Expressions25段首句28中间段29结尾句32第五部分：考研作文词汇部分34前言黑暗版作文篇是一个全新的事物，经过大家的努力，今天终于和大家见面了，这里面汇聚着大家的智慧和汗水，但是由于水平有限，在这个版本中难免会有错误，希望大家指出。考试已经迫在眉睫，而作文是考试的重中之众，希望这份资料能对大家有所帮助和启迪，那将是我们心中莫大的慰藉。本材料主要围绕03-06年四年的大作文展开编写首先感谢考研区首版zhuhui0991对此次修订的高度关注和给予的大力支持，及辛苦的排版美化工作。历年真题习作举例分析，主要由研英版主zhuqx969编写，其中举例主要来源网友的习作，这将使考研学子对自己的作文水平有更多的了解。特别是常见的错误一目了然，这对作文水平的提高大有好处。能让你在知己知彼中带领你巧妙的提高。经典句型，主要由研英主持人炊烟编写，如果说词汇是基石，那么句型就是框架，再加上笔者的文字修饰，一篇有血有肉的文章才会应运而生，此部分，为大家提供了常见的经典句型，并且为经典句型划分了功能，让大家真正做到有的放矢。考研作文词汇部分，主要由研英版主daisy8475，研英主持人四度编写，其中包括图表和图画常用词汇，图表在作文中比较有规律可循因此做了简要说明；图画作文作为历年的重点，分为热点词汇和分类词汇，其中涉及了文化教育、工作、健康、环保等作文常用词汇；在最后还列出了文章常用的关联词。此部分旨在为大家提供作文的基石，让大家能做到以不变应万变。【注】经典句型和词汇部分由编写者参看大量文字材料后进行分类，编辑整理而成。 Jojolucan 2006-12-19第一部分：考研作文评分标准 全国硕士研究生入学考试英语大纲要求考生在40分钟内完成160-200单词的英语大作文。所写的作文作应具备：1）单词拼写正确，标点使用正确，语法准确无误，用词合理恰当；2) 作文结构合理，内容统一连贯，字数符合要求。评定考研作文成绩，首先看内容是否符合题意的要求；然后看语言表达是否正确、清楚、通顺；最后根据用词、用句、分段优劣采用通篇分档计分。其分档计分标准如下：第一档：2017分：内容切题，包括提纲的全部要点；表达清楚，文字连贯；句式有变化，句子结构和用词正确。文章长度符合要求（160-200单词）。第二档：1613分：内容切题，全部包括题目的要点；表达比较清楚，文字基本连贯； 句式有一定变化，句子结构和用词无重大错误。文章长度符合要求（160-200单词）。第三档：1210分：内容切题，基本包括题目的要点；表达基本清楚；句子结构和用词有少量错误。文章长度符合要求（160-200单词）。第四档：95分：内容基本切题，基本包括题目的要点；语句可以理解，但有较多的句子结构和用词错误。文章长度基本符合要求（120-160单词）。第五档：41分：基本按题写作，但只有少数句子可以理解。第六档：0分：文不切题，语句混乱，无法理解。第二部分：考研图画作文题目写作思路分析 作为考研图画作文的一般写作思路，开头第一句应该概括交代图画的主要内容。把这一句写上，文章的首句就完成了。接下来就要对图画的主要细节进行扩展描写。描写时，需要用最简明的句子把主要细节写清楚，次要细节可以酌情考虑写或不写（考虑的依据是插入次要细节后，句子的结构能否安排通顺，篇幅是否过长或过短），更次要的细节不要提及，目的是让没有图画的读者见文如见画。另外，在首段还可以用一句小结的话作为结尾，简单提及图画所涵盖了哪个社会现象，当然，也可以不加这样的话，直接留待第二段再写。本段通常使用2到3句话，40到50词。作为论述段的第二段是整篇作文中篇幅最长、最具说理性的一段，其开头必须要有主题句，通常这一主题句的内容是指明图画所反映的社会现象，并加以定性、定范围。主题句给本段定下了基调，随后应根据主题句展开论述。针对这一社会问题，可以对其发生的原因，具体的表现，缺点和优点，以及不同人群对它的不同看法等各个方面来进行展开论述。论述时，可以用论证法（即采用说理性文字作为论据）、例证法（即举例作为论据，并加以阐述分析）或者对比论述法（通常对于优点和缺点都需要提及的论述采取此方法）等各种方法。但是需着重注意的是，使用例证法时，最多只能用12句话把例子说清，剩余的篇幅应着重对所举例子进行阐述；使用对比法时，切忌对比双方篇幅相同，应该以其中一方为主，另一方为辅。本段通常使用6句话，70到90词。结尾段同样需要用主题句明确提出自己的观点，然后详细展开这一观点。根据文章题材的不同，结尾段可以对好的社会现象提出表扬（观点），并进一步提出发扬光大的方法措施（展开），也可以针对不好的社会问题指出需要改进（观点），并详细论述由谁来改进，怎么改进（展开）；具体情况具体分析。最后一般使用一句总结的话作为结尾，把全文的主题思想提升一个高度。末段通常使用3到4句话，50到60词。第三部分：历年真题习作举例分析 一、2006年考研作文真题各档次作文举例分析 注：Beckham（贝克汉姆）：英国足球明星。Directions: Study the following photos carefully and write an essay in which you should first describe the photos briefly; then interpret the social phenomenon reflected by them, and give your point of view.You should write 160-200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)第二档作文In these photos, two men show their admiration in different ways- the left one writes his idol-Beckham name on his left cheek , and the other man chooses to make a “Beckham hair style” .In decades, the phenomenon of adoring the idol is becoming the social issues, specially in youth. They adore the pop stars-movies stars, singer stars, even sports stars. Indicating in these ways: Cheesing their idols everywhere, imitating their dressings, hair styles, speaking ways, even their addictions and so on. Some of them are blinding to cheese the stars, even forgetting their own business and ignoring their families, at last lost their own. One the other side, there are also many good aspects, some teenagers learn their idols belief of succeed, their broad heart, their concerning of poor people and the ill people, their common attitudes to wealth. Obviously, we should advocate the good aspects of cheesing idols, because the stars are all the succeed person, they all have the worth learned aspects. Youth need correct guide of cheesing idols, tell them to learn the good aspects of the stars, and make themselves became the outstanding people.【作者】 月丫 【习作出处】/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=20&id=342289&replyID=4676711&star=1&skin=【习作点评】该篇习作采取三段式写作，首段简明扼要的描写了两幅图画的内容，画中主要细节均已写到，符合要求。中间段首句概括的点出了图画所反应的社会现象，并从偶像崇拜的弊端和优点两方面进行了正反论述，论述比较切题，语言表达基本通顺，句式有一定的变化，有一处拼写错误和少量表达不连贯现象。在上一段正反论述的基础上，作者在末段开头提出了自己的观点，并做了进一步分析，结束了整篇习作。习作长度193词，字数符合要求。根据考研作文评分细则，该习作可定为第二档偏上，参考得分为：15分。【习作修改示例】修改人：zhuqx969In these photos, two men show their admiration reverence for Beckham（admiration的意思是钦佩、赞赏，用作形容偶像崇拜还是reverence比较合适）in different ways- the left one writes his idols nameon his left cheek , and the other man chooses to make a “Beckham hair style” Beckham haircut . In decades, the phenomenon of adoring the idol idol worship is becoming the increasingly becomes a social issues, specially in youth to the young generation. They adore the pop stars such as movies film stars, singer stars, even sports stars actors, singers and sportsmen.（这里连用4个star，显得有些罗索，所以把后3个star全部替换掉） Indicating in these ways : Cheesing their idols everywhere, imitating their dressings, hair styles, speaking ways, even their addictions and so on. Some of them the young （them在这里指代不明，换成the young）are blinding to cheese the stars, even forgetting their own business responsibility and ignoring harming their families, at last lost their own happiness.（loss their own ？这里的意思没有说完整，我根据自己的理解补充了happiness） One the other side, there are also many good aspects ,there are positive aspects that some teenagers learn from their idols belief of succeed ,their broad heart ,their concerning of for poor people and the ill people the poor and the ill, their common attitudes to wealth.Obviously, we should advocate the good aspects of cheesing idols, because the stars are all the succeed person As a successful person, they the stars all have the worth learned positive aspects that worth learning. Youth need correct guide of cheesing idols, What schools and teachers should do is to get them in the right way by telling them to learn the good aspects advantages of the stars, and then to make themselves became them the outstanding people. 【修改后习作】In these photos, two men show their reverence for Beckham in different ways- the left one writes his idols name on his left cheek, and the other man chooses to make a Beckham haircut. The phenomenon of idol worship increasingly becomes a social issue, specially to the young generation. They adore the pop stars such as film stars, actors, singers and sportsmen. Indicating in these ways: Cheesing their idols everywhere, imitating their dressings, hair styles, speaking ways, even their addictions and so on. Some of the young are blinding to cheese the stars, even forgetting their own responsibility and harming their families, at last lost their own happiness. One the other side, there are positive aspects that some teenagers learn from their idols belief of succeed, their broad heart, their concerning for the poor and the ill, their common attitudes to wealth.Obviously, we should advocate the good aspects of cheesing idols, As a successful person, the stars all have positive aspects that worth learning. What schools and teachers should do is to get them in the right way by telling them to learn the good aspects advantages of the stars, and then to make them the outstanding people. 【写作思路分析】开头一段首句点出了图画的主要内容：两个男孩用不同的方式表达了对贝克汉姆的崇拜。接下来对图画的细节进行了扩展描写，本题共有两幅图画，画中各有一个男孩，主要细节共有两处，即左边这位男孩把偶像的名字画在脸上，右边这位男孩想要剪一个贝克汉姆的发式；次要细节还有一处，即右边男孩剪发的花费是300元。这两处主要细节之间是并列关系，其之间的连词可以考虑用and，while等。扩展描写使用了一句话，这样首段就完成了。简单明了，开门见山。中间段一开始就写出了主题句：“图画所反映的偶像崇拜这一现象日益成为一个社会问题（定性），尤其是在年轻一代当中（定范围）”。随后对偶像崇拜这一现象展开了论述，作者采取了缺点为主、优点为辅的正反对比论述法，着重阐述了偶像崇拜的危害，并附带提及了偶像崇拜的好处。思路清晰，层次分明。结尾段开头点出了主题句“需要对偶像崇拜的好的方面加以发扬”。随后对这一观点进行了展开论述，最后对文章主题进行了总结，把学生培养成杰出的人才。观点明确，论述到位。第三档作文We all have our idol at heart, we can learn a lot from him. Let us have a look the two young men on the two pictures are learning from their idol, on left hand picture, a youngster to write 7 red letters-Backham-on his face, on the right hand picture, other a youngster is restyling his hair like Backham, it will cost him 300 yuan.Indeed, some good qualities of idols might rub off on us, such as brawniness, braveness, and never say die, but we dont need write idols name on our face or change hairstyle to pay a high tribute to idols ability and set ourselves to learn from idol.There are some other factors worth consideration in evaluations these special behaviours. A public figure whatever he did was a fashion, they cut a swath on the stage, but that was only superficies, when we seized upon their success as a good example of how to improve life with our own hands, we can achieve success as well as our idol.【作者】 Turquoise【习作出处】/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=20&id=342289&replyID=342289&star=1&skin=【习作点评】该篇习作采取三段式写作，首段描写了两幅图画的内容，画中主要细节均已写到，次要细节也有涉及，符合要求，但文字略为罗索。中间段基本论述了图画涉及的社会现象，但是说理不够透彻，没有明确的论点，篇幅过短，句式略有变化，有少量错误。末段中，作者提出了自己的观点，但不够明确，进一步分析较为罗索，但没有太多实际内容。习作长度175词，字数符合要求。根据考研作文评分细则，该习作可定为第三档中等，参考得分为：11分。【习作修改示例】修改人：zhuqx969We all have our idol at heart （没有at heart这样说法，表示“在心里”可以用in ones heart）, we can learn a lot from him.（开头这两个短句可以合成一个长句） Let us have a look at （描述图画时，尽量避免用lets have 这样的口语化句型，改用as is seen in the picture这样的书面语说法）the two young men on the two pictures are learning from their idol（由图中看，这两个青年是在模仿他们的偶像，learn这个词不能有效的表达“模仿”的意思）, on left hand picture, a youngster to write （to write是动词不定式，用在这里使句子没有谓语，造成语法错误）7 red letters-Backham-on his face, on the right hand picture, other a youngster is restyling his hair like Backham, it will cost him 300 yuan （像it will cost这样与上句衔接紧密的短句，如果可能的话，尽量用分词形式并到上一句话中，而不要单列一句。）.Indeed, some good qualities of idols might rub off on us, such as brawniness, braveness, and never say die, but we dont need write idols name on our face or change hairstyle to pay a high tribute to idols ability and set ourselves to learn from idol.（这一句话非常罗索，而且表达的意思不易理解，通过句式的改变，使其容易理解）There are some other factors worth consideration in evaluations these special behaviours. A public figure whatever he did was a fashion, they cut a swath on the stage, but that was only superficies,（在这几个短句中，主谓宾都全的句式使句子的语气不够强烈，改用短语分词形式，可以使句子更为简短，突出语气） when we seized upon their success as a good example of how to improve life with our own hands, we can achieve success as well as our idol.由于改动过大，无法在原文标出，所以把修改文发布在下面In our heart, we all have our own idols from whom we can learn things. As is seen in the two pictures, two young men are imitating their idol. On left picture, a boy has written 7 red letters B-e-c-k-h-a-m on his face, while on the right one, another boy is restyling his hair as Beckhams style, spending 300 Yuan. Indeed, some good qualities, such as brawniness, braveness, and never say die might rub off on us. But we need not forms of drawing the idols name on our face or copying their haircut to show the reverence for our idol. There are other factors worth consideration in evaluations of these special behaviors. Whatever a public figure did is a fashion. Cutting a swath on the stage is only superficies. When we take them as a good example of how to improve life with our own hands, we can achieve success as well as our idol. 【修改后习作】In our heart, we all have our own idols from whom we can learn things. As is seen in the two pictures, two young men are imitating their idol. On left picture, a boy has written 7 red letters B-e-c-k-h-a-m on his face, while on the right one, another boy is restyling his hair as Beckhams style, spending 300 Yuan. Indeed, some good qualities, such as brawniness, braveness, and never say die might rub off on us. But we need not forms of drawing the idols name on our face or copying their haircut to show the reverence for our idol. There are other factors worth consideration in evaluations of these special behaviors. Whatever a public figure did is a fashion. Cutting a swath on the stage is only superficies. When we take them as a good example of how to improve life with our own hands, we can achieve success as well as our idol. 第四档作文There are two Asian boys in two separate pictures. One boy decorates his cheek with a set of scarlet letters-Beckham. The other one seems to be very pleased with his new hair style-exactly the same as David Beckham. Judging from their appearance, we can see they are both very young, energetic and no doubt staunch surporters and fans of David. For a great many young peoples of the newly born generation, they love super stars and imitate their behavior. Some people say they idolize celebrities. As far as Im concerned, its not a black and white issue, only about different tastes towards life. Young people likes to chase fashion. As long as they enjoy themselves and cause no trouble to other people, who should blame them!?【习作出处】/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=20&id=342289&replyID=4676711&star=1&skin=【习作点评】该篇习作采取三段式写作，首段对两幅图画进行了描述，主要细节描写不够全面，漏掉了一处重要细节，即“花300元做个小贝头”这一细节没有明确点出来；另外，首段文字较为罗索。中间段对图画做了进一步阐述，含糊的点出了图画所反映的社会现象，却没有展开论述。末段就这一社会现象提出了自己的观点，但由于中间段空洞，末段观点显得很乏力，没有说服性。该习作基本没有论述，表达不够连贯，句式基本没有变化，习作长度128词，基本符合要求。根据考研作文评分细则，该习作可定为第四档中等，参考得分为：8分。【习作修改示例】修改人：zhuqx969There are two Asian boys in two separate the couple of （前面已经有了一个two，后为了避免重复，把第二个two换掉）pictures. One boy decorates his cheek with a set of scarlet letters-Beckham. The other one seems to be very pleased with eager for a new hair style-exactly , which is the same as David Beckhams. Judging from their appearance, we can see they are both very young and energetic, （young和energetic都是形容词，可以并列，后面的supporter是名词，不能跟形容词并列）and they are no doubt staunch surporters and fans of David. For a great many young peoples of the newly born generation, they love super stars and imitate their behavior. Some people say they idolize celebrities. As far as Im concerned, its not a black and white issue, but an issue about different tastes towards life. Young people likes to chase fashion. As long as they enjoy themselves and cause no trouble to other people, who should blame them!?【修改后习作】There are two Asian boys in the couple of pictures. One boy decorates his cheek with a set of scarlet letters-Beckham. The other one seems to be eager for a new hairstyle, which is the same as David Beckhams. Judging from their appearance, we can see they are both very young and energetic, and they are no doubt staunch supporters and fans of David. For a great many young peoples of the newly born generation love super stars and imitate their behavior. Some people say they idolize celebrities. As far as Im concerned, its not a black and white issue, but an issue about different tastes towards life. Young people likes to chase fashion. As long as they enjoy themselves and cause no trouble to other people, who should blame them!二、2005年真题习作举例分析 Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay ,you should first describe the drawing the interpret its meaning, and give your comment on it.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET2. (20 points)第一档作文As is vividly shown in the picture above, there are four children, who play as a goal-keeper, kicking out their old father like a football. The oldest child kicked out their old father, while the other children keep him from their own goals.The drawing implicated a contemporary phenomenon: more and more children dont want to take care of their aging parents who have raised them up so many years. Supporting our own parents is a Chinese traditional culture, however, with the living standard of live have improved by a big margin, people seems to forget it. We will easy to find in a newspaper that an old man starved to death not because his children have not ability to support him, but because they discard him. What a terrible thing it is.Therefore, effective measures should be taken to reverse these situations. To begin with, the authority should make stricter law to forbid people from discarding there old parents. Whats more, we must enhance the awareness of supporting our own parents. Only in this way can we live in a world of harmonious and love.【作者】 zhuangsg【习作出处】/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=20&id=343965&replyID=4703261&star=1&skin=【习作点评】该篇习作采取三段式写作，首段描写了图画的内容，画中内容基本交代清楚了，符合要求，但文字不够简练，描述图画所用语言的冲击力不够。中间段对图画涉及的子女不赡养老人的社会问题进行了论证，说理较为透彻，表达基本流畅，句式有较多变化，但有个别表达不到位之处。末段中，作者针对这一社会问题提出了解决办法，条理较为清晰。习作长度186词，字数符合要求。根据考研作文评分细则，该习作可定为第一档偏下，参考得分为：17分。【习作修改示例】修改人：jojolucanAs is vividly shown in the picture above, there are four people(children属于审题不清.虽然他们相对老人是children，但是客观上已经是adults了), who play as goal-keepers, kicking out their old father like a football. The oldest child(总感觉不太对，不如直接用one代替) kicked out their old father, while others keep him from their own goals.The drawing implicates a contemporary phenomenon: more and more children dont want to take care of their aging parents who have raised them up so many years. Supporting(support的确有赡养的意思，但是不如用Taking care of来得保险) our own parents is a Chinese traditional virtue(还是用美德比较合适), however, with the living standard of live being improved by a big margin, people seems to forget it. We will easily find in a newspaper that an old man starved to death not because his children bave no ability to support him, but because they discard him. What a terrible thing it is.Therefore, effective measures should be taken to reverse these situations. To begin with, the authority should make more strict(三音节的单词没有直接比较级) law to forbid people discarding there old parents. Whats more, we must enhance the awareness of supporting our own parents. Only in this way can we live in a world of harmony(这里要用名词了) and love.【修改后习作】As is vividly shown in the picture above, there are four people who play as goal-keepers, kicking out their old father like a football. The oldest one kicked out their old father, while others keep him from their own goals.The dra