英语小笑话(带翻译)).doc

1Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Actually Id rather have the money.男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。3.My little dog cant readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: Its no use, my little dog cant read.我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”4.反正我太太明天会来换的My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.Cloth or leather asked the salesperson.Makes no difference replied customer.What color asked the clerk.Any he responded.SizeGive me whatever you prefer the gentleman said slightly exasperated. My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。“号码呢？”“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls? Nicks answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？ 尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。 6. Jims History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasnt his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？ 母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。7.he is really somebody - My uncle has 1000 men under him. - He is really somebody. What does he do? - A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 - 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 - 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ - 墓地守墓人。8I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, What happened?A kid bit me, replied Ivan.Would you recognize him if you saw him again? asked his mother.Id know him any where, said Ivan. I have his ear in my pocket.他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”9Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girls hand and said: I love you. The little girl said: can you get me for the future? The little boy said: of course can, were not one or two years old!一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说：“我爱你。”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责吗？”小男孩说：“当然能，我们都不是一两岁的人了！10.Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. Please God, she said, Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy. Her mother interrupted and said, Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy? And Julie replied, Because that/s what I put