简单幽默英语小故事与翻译.doc

. . . .1I Dont Like HerBob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I dont like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。一天，他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗？”“不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等于6.”2Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Ten？” Mother asks.Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isnt it right?”十块糖妈妈问儿子：“吉姆， 如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？”“10块。”吉姆说。“10块？”妈妈问。“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？”3Where is the egg?Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word egg?Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg?Student: In the cake, sir.鸡蛋在哪里？老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？学生：在蛋糕里，先生 4Count Tomorrow MorningIts a night. John is looking at the sky.Tom is Johns younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”John says, “Im counting stars.”Tom laughs and says, “Its really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”明天早上数一个晚上, 约翰抬头看着天空。汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么？”约翰说：“我在数星星。”汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢？”5It Must Be CrowdedA teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions of people can live there.”And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when its a crescent moon.”一定很拥挤一位老师告诉学生们：“月亮非常大，上面能住几百万人。”一个男孩笑着说：“当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥挤啊！6Are Flies Yummy?Tony and his father are eating dinner.Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”Dad frowns and says, “No, I think its yucky. Why do you ask me this question? Its a silly question.”But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”苍蝇好吃吗？托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。突然，托尼问他的爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗？”爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题？这可是一个愚蠢的问题。”可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”7“Im sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boys tooth .” “Twenty dollars! Why , you charged only four dollars for such work before!” “Yes，but your boy yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？你之前只收4美元的！” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 8A Good Boy Little Robert asks his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answers. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太太，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 9I Made Granny GladA teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” shesays “Did you make someone else glad?” “Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.”“Well done. Who was that?” The teacher says.“My granny.” The boy says.“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says.“I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, Granny,Im going home. And she said, “well. Im glad!”我让奶奶高兴了一位教师正在对学生将使人高兴的重要性。“听着，孩子们，”他说：“你们曾让别人高兴过吗？”“我，老师，”一个男孩子说，“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”“做得好。是谁呢？”老师说。“我奶奶。”小男孩说。“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的？”老师问道。“是这样的，老师。昨天我去看她，在她那儿呆了3个小时。然后我对她说：“奶奶，我要回家了。”她说：“啊，我很高兴。”10The Ox and the DogAn ox and a dog serve for the same farmer.One day the dog arrogantly says: “How grand I am! In the daytime, I watch out for the cattle in the meadows; at night, I guard the house. But you”“Me? How about me ?” the ox says“You can only plough or draw a cart,” the dog slightly says.“Yes. Its true,” the ox says. “But if I dont plough, what do you guard?”牛和狗一头牛和一只狗同时为一个农夫工作。一天，狗骄傲地说着；我是多么重要啊！白天我在牧场看护家群，晚上我看家。而你呢.?”“我？我怎么啦？“ 牛反问。“你只会犁地或是拉扯。”狗不懈地说。“是的。你说得没有错，”牛回答道。“但是如果没有我犁地，你看护什么呢？”11That Is Not My Dog!A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bit.”The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”那不是我的狗一个妇人走进一家宠物店，看见一只很可爱的小狗。她问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”于是这个妇人试着抚摸小狗，可是小狗却咬了她。“哎哟！”妇人说，“我想你刚才还说你的狗不咬人。”店主人回答说：“那不是我的狗。”12Teacher: Why are you late for school every morning? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go slow. 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着学校-慢行. 1. 若不给自己设限，则人生中就没有限制你发挥的藩篱。2. 若不是心宽似海，哪有人生风平浪静。在纷杂的尘世里，为自己留下一片纯静的心灵空间，不管是潮起潮落，也不管是阴晴圆缺，你都可以免去浮躁，义无反顾，勇