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。 荆轲刺秦王英语话剧剧本Roles: 太子丹;荆轲;谋士阿三;西门吹雪;旁白;变态男;秦始皇;卫兵甲、乙;美女; 道具:乒乓球拍,短棍,网球拍,垫子,樊於期人头演员表太子丹: 王成 谋士阿三:姜翔 荆轲: 姜展西门吹雪、变态男: 胡准旁白、秦始皇: 袁将 友情出演美女:黄函卫兵甲:秦建金卫兵乙:秦军旁白(Aside )/介绍(Introduction): Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth. Action I Conspire(密谋)太子丹(上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状):Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音:Its you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! (面对观众) Im Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. 太子丹:Ive told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”! 阿三:Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng(作杀状) 太子丹:Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? (二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!)阿三:Talent! 太子丹:Good idea! But who is the right candidate? 阿三:After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Mr Ximenchuixue and the other one is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world. 太子:Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三:OK. Action II tournament (比武)旁白:Now,the competition of being the NO1 killer of the world is beginning!(运动员进场音乐响起,荆轲上场)(十面埋伏中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐) (荆轲听到一声琵琶声害怕一下接着西门吹雪上场)西门吹雪:Today I came here for the fighting,tis said that someone want to challenge my position in the killer world, who is the unwanted-life guy. Stand out.荆轲(抖嗦而上)站在一边,不敢出大气。荆轲(带剑冲向西门吹雪,半途停住):Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue?西门吹雪:Just come on.荆轲:(又冲,停在西门吹雪面前):Are you sure you are really the Xi Men Chui Xue in the story?西门吹雪::(不耐烦)what a boring man! How dare you ask me such a stupid question?荆轲(环视四周见无一人,便跪在西门吹雪面前,大哭):My hero, I admire you just like the yellow river, never endless. I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down. Please dont kill me. Give me the life, please!西门吹雪(大怒):I thought Jingke is a hero. But you beg for life. How can I forgive you? Give me your life. (举剑刺向荆轲,忽然,捂住自己的肚子,自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the toilet? 荆轲:T-o-i-l-e-t-?西门吹雪:WC.荆轲:W-C-?西门吹雪:(急)茅厕!Are you happy to hear such rude words?荆轲:I know, I know. Turn left, left and left.(西门吹雪下。)旁白:Because of the abstention of Ximenchuixue so the winner is Jingke(荆轲双拳高举,大笑,拳皇中八神庵笑声音乐响起)太子丹上(抱拳):How are you? 荆柯:Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹:Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯:Sure! 太子丹:How are you? 荆柯:Fine, thank you, and your wife? (太子丹晕倒) 荆柯:Hey, man, Im kidding! 太子丹:Oh, Im kidding too!(毕恭毕敬)May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏(出一卷纸,上面写着:To be or not to be, thats a question.) 阿三:Hero,we need your help. 荆柯:I am busy now! 太子丹:You can get a lot of money. 荆柯:I am very busy now! 阿三:IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯:I am very very busy now! (一美女上场)阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯(流口水):I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but its not my dish!(一变态男飘过,向荆轲抛媚眼,荆轲垂涎三尺,显激动万分并饥渴状。太子丹与阿三对视而奸笑并拦下变态男。)太子丹:Im the king of the country,so you must follow may order(变态男(崇拜发骚状)点头,阿三拉过变态男交到荆轲手中,荆轲变态男喜不自禁相互调情)阿三:You love him? Speak up if you love him! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, Im very happy, you still have to speak up. Take him away! Do you really love? Really?荆柯(诚恳状)握住阿三的双手: Just tell me what should I do? I will do everything for you. 太子丹与阿三(撞胯,击掌):Yeah! Action Separate(惜别)(大话西游主题曲响起) 荆珂挽着变态男,太子丹,阿三在后. )阿三:Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂:Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹:I will miss you, baby. (太子丹,阿三下。停顿。泰坦尼克号主题曲起,荆轲与变态男做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型)荆珂(欲走还留,执子之手又曰):Sweetheart! You must do me this honor. promise me you will survive. that you will never give up. no matter what happens. no matter how hopeless. promise me now, and never let go of that promise(泰坦尼克号沉船时,Jack对Rose的倾诉). 变态男:I promise. 荆轲:Never let go. “变态男:I promise. I will never let go, honey. Ill never let go. (变态男努力挤出几滴眼泪, 荆珂上船,渐渐远去 )变态男:Its a good day to die. Never come back. Never Never变态男(掏出手机拨号,阿三接手机): Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三:Okay okay! Action Assassinate(刺杀)(秦始皇宫殿)秦始皇:Let jingke come in!(荆轲拿上地图与人头上)秦始皇:Show your sincerity to me!(荆轲将地图打开凶器现,荆轲拿起凶器准备杀秦始皇,被一旁的卫兵甲射杀。)秦始皇(蔑视荆轲尸体):Wanting to killing me?Heng,Im Qinshihuang(爱情公寓关谷口音)(大笑,拳皇八神庵笑声起)(片刻后)秦始皇:Take them to feed the dogs!(卫兵甲将樊于期人头与荆轲尸体扔出)卫兵甲:Look! my dear master,its the things I found in his pocket秦始皇:Yeah?!Show it to me。(卫兵拿出一个袋子,打开,里面是一双很久未洗的袜子。)秦始皇大怒:Oh,my god!Where are my army?卫兵乙出,两卫兵:Yes sir!(军姿敬礼状拿着枪)秦始皇:The feet of people living in

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