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翻译漫谈(九)25点体会 我在1984年出版的英汉翻译练习集前言中归纳了我在英译汉实践中的25点体会。其中绝大多数是我对英汉两种语言各自特点的认识。这些认识对我后来的工作,无论是英译汉,还是汉译英,都是有帮助的。现在我就把这25点体会连同有关的译例说一说。 一词多义。弄清原文的意思,在汉语中选用适当的词语。例如: Born in 1879 in Ulm, Germany, Albert Einstein was two years old when his parents moved to Munich, where his father opened a business in electrical supplies. 阿尔伯特爱因斯坦于1879年出生在德国的乌尔姆城。在他两岁的时候,父母移居慕尼黑。他的父亲在慕尼黑开了一家工厂,生产电气器材。(句中business一词,据有关资料介绍是指factory,而不是store,故译作“工厂”。) 英语名词和介词用得多,汉语动词用得多。 Psychologically there are two dangers to be guarded against in old age. One of these is undue absorption in the past. 从心理方面来说,到了老年,有两种危险倾向需要注意防止。一是过分地怀念过去。(如译作“对过去的过分怀念”,则不顺。) 英语代词用得多,汉语实词用得多。在一个句子里,英语可以先出代词,后出实词;汉语则先出实词,后出代词。 One day, while I was playing with my new doll, Miss Sullivan put my big rag doll into my lap also, spelled “d-o-l-l” and tried to make me understand that “d-o-l-l” applied to both. 有一天我正在玩一个新娃娃,沙利文小姐把我的大布娃娃也放在我腿上,然后写了“d-o-l-l”这几个字母,她是想让我知道“d-o-l-l”既可以指新娃娃,也可以指旧娃娃。(如译作“指二者”,就不顺;如译作“两个都指”,意思既不清楚,句子也压不住。) If they are disappointed at one place, the drillers go to another. 钻探石油的人如果在一个地方得不到预期的结果,便到另一个地方去钻探。 英语动词有时态,时间概念往往通过时态表现出来:汉语动词没有时态,表示不同的时间,往往需要加时间状语。 It is like a dream to me now, floating through my mind in slow motion. Many children were playing close to the water, and we were stunned by their ignorance and daring. 现在回想起来,就仿佛是一场梦,当时的情景还在我脑海里缓缓浮动。那一天,许多孩子在靠近水边的地方玩耍,他们那样大胆,不知道危险就在眼前,使我们非常吃惊。(译文加了“那一天”。) 英语被动语态用得多,汉语被动式用得少,有时不用被动形式也可以表示被动的含义,有时可以用无主语句。 When the whale is killed, the blubber is stripped off and boiled down, either on board ship or on shore. 鲸鱼杀死以后,把鲸脂剥下来熬油,这项工作有的是在船上进行的,有的是在岸上进行的。(不一定译成“鲸鱼被杀死以后”,不用“被”字仍可表示被动的含义。) Great sums of money have been spent, for example in the deserts of Egypt, in “prospecting” for oil. 在石油“勘探”方面,已经花了大笔的钱,比如在埃及的沙漠里进行的勘探工作就是如此。(原文是被动语态,但未说明谁是施动者。译文用了无主句。) 英语并排用几个名词、动词或形容词时,其排列顺序可能要考虑到词的长短(长的放在后面,这样节奏较好)或分量的轻重(重的放在后面,这样不显得头重脚轻)。汉语除了考虑常用的顺序以外,还常常考虑词的音调。分量的轻重关系不大,常把分量重的词放在前面。 setting aside big tracts of land where nobody can fish, shoot, hunt, nor harm a single living creature with furs, fins or feathers. 圈出大片土地,不准钓鱼,不准打鸟,不准打猎,凡是长皮的,长毛的或者长鳃的动物,一概不许伤害。(原文fish, shoot, hunt,由轻到重,feathers最长,放在最后。汉语则“长皮的,长毛的”连下来较顺。 7.英语一般避免重复,代称用得多,不但名词可以用代词来替代,动词、形容词也有相应的词来替代。汉语则不怕重复,实称用得多。 English grammar is very difficult and few writers have avoided making mistakes in it. 英语语法十分困难,作家很少不犯语法错误的。(译文重复“语法”二字。) 8.英语连词用得多,汉语连词用得少。例如表示条件或原因,汉语不一定用“如果”或“因为”之类的词,意思就包含在上下文里面了。 This film showed how they put aside a thousand acres out West where the buffaloes roam and nobody can shoot a single one of them. If they do, they get in jail. 电影演的是他们怎么在西边儿把一千英亩土地划出来,让水牛自由行动,谁也不准开枪打死一只。打死了,就得坐牢。(译文第二句没有用连词,没有用主语,重复了第一句里的“打死”二字。) 9.词的搭配,如形容词与名词的搭配,副词和动词的搭配,主语与谓语的搭配等,英语可以用的搭配,往往不能直接译成汉语,这就需要选择适当的词语,或者改变句子的结构。 The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. 我们一直在走的这条路表面上很好走,是一条平坦的超级公路,我们可以高速前进,但是走到尽头却要遇到灾难。(原文lies disaster 不能直译,只好改变句子结构,译作“遇到灾难”。) 10.英语常以抽象名词做主语,后面接表示具体动作的动词。这种主谓搭配,在汉语里是很少用的,一般都要改变句子结构。 Anger and bitterness had preyed upon me continually for weeks and a deep languor had succeeded this passionate struggle. 几个星期以来,我又气又恨,感到非常苦恼,这种感情上的激烈斗争过去之后,我感到浑身无力。 11.英语有些副词和动词的搭配无法直接译过来,可将原文副词的含义译成谓语或分句,放在句末。 So heedful a writer as Henry James, for instance, on occasion wrote so ungrammatically that a schoolmaster, finding such errors in a schoolboys essay, would be justly indignant. 就拿亨利詹姆士来说吧,连他这样细心的作家写的东西,有时也不合语法。要是小学老师在学生的作文里发现那样的错误也会生气,而生气是完全应该的。 12.英语有些副词放在句首,具有丰富的内容,译成汉语可以适当地加以发挥。 Ideally, one day, researchers will know enough about the genesis of earthquakes 最理想的情况是,有朝一日研究人员能够对地震的成因有足够的了解。 13.主语的位置。英语往往把目的状语或其他成分放在句首,然后再出主语,主语与动词靠得较近。汉语则往往先出主语。 To protect the whale form the cold of the Arctic seas, nature has provided it with a thick covering of fat called blubber. 大自然为了保护鲸鱼,使它不致在北冰洋受冻,便让它长了厚厚的一层脂肪,叫做鲸脂。 14.英语的书面语差不多每个句子都要有主语,汉语的主语则不那么重要,如果前面已把主语说清楚,后面的句子不一定用主语。甚至在一个句子里应该出现另外一个主语的时候,这个主语仍然可以省略。 They used this kind of scare tactic when I was growing up. I wonder what they use today. 我小的时候,他们用过这种吓唬人的办法。现在用什么办法,就不得而知了。(译文第二句,两个主语“他们”和“我”都没有出现。) 15.英语有who, which等词,可以引出定语从句,汉语多用并列分句,或单成一句,有时可把定语从句先处理。 Richardson, who served as both Secretary of Defense and Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare during the Nixon Administration, was talking about the negotiations for a Law of the Sea treaty, which came to a virtual conclusion last week after six years of deliberations. 理查森曾在尼克松政府中担任国防部长和卫生、教育和福利部长,他是在谈到关于海洋法条约的谈判时说这番话的。(译文用了并列分句) I have never had much patience with the writers who claim from the reader an effort to understand their meaning. 有些作家,读者要费力气才能看懂他们的意思,我对这样的作家一向是没有多少耐心的。(原文中的定语从句在译文中提前处理。) 16.英语的主语部分可以很长,其中包括几个介词引导的短语作定语,汉语往往用分句来表达,或者独立成句。 The 180-page document, with more than 300 articles and eight annexes, definitively covers every conceivable issue dealing with the seas, from the definition of what constitutes an island to the jurisdiction over fish that live in fresh water but spawn in the ocean. 这份长达一百八十页的文件,有三百余条,并有八个附件。它涉及能够想到的每一个与海洋有关的问题,从岛屿的定义,到对在淡水生长而在海洋产卵的鱼类的管辖权,都做了明确的规定。(原文中的主语部分独立成句。) 17.英语除了有who, which等词外,还有动词的-ing形式,因此句子可以很长,但组织得很严密。汉语叙事,则多用并列结构,一层一层地把事情说清楚。有时可以把较长地句子译成几个短句。 In the winter of 1879, James Lecky, exchequer clerk from Ireland, and privately interested in phonetics, keyboard temperament, and Gaelic, all of which subjects he imposed on me, dragged me to a meeting of a debating society called The Zetetical: a junior copy of the once well known Dialectical Society founded to discuss John Stuart Mills Essay on Liberty when that was new. 1879年冬天,詹姆斯莱基拉我去参加一次辩论会。莱基是爱尔兰人,在财政部门当职员,有空喜欢研究语音,练习弹琴,学习盖尔语,他还硬让我也学这些东西。这次他带我去参加的辩论会是一个名叫“探索学会”的团体举办的。当年约翰斯图尔特米尔的文章论自由刚刚发表时候,成立过一个“辩证学会”来讨论这篇文章,这个学会曾名噪一时。探索学会就是仿照这个学会建立起来的,只是没有它那么有名罢了。(原文虽然较长,但并不很复杂。主语部分有一个同位语和一个定语从句,谓语部分有一个同位语和一个状语从句。译文则分成了五个句子。) 18.汉语一般不用一连串的定语,一连串的“的字。适当地在“的”字前增加动词,就显得有些变化,不那么单调。 The resounding success of the Curacao experiment whetted the appetites of Florida livestock raisers for a similar feat that would relieve them of the scourge of screw-worms. 库拉索岛上的实验取得巨大的成功.引起了佛罗里达州牲畜饲养者的兴趣.他们也想以同样的办法消除螺旋锥蝇这一祸害.(原文主语部分是一名词定语,若译作“库拉索岛上的实验的巨大成功”,就连用了两个“的”字.如在第二个“的”字前面加上“取得”二字,就好一点。现在把这一部分译成一个分句就更好了。) 19.英语在一个句子里往往先说个人的感受,再说与感受有关的动作,最后才说最初发生的事情。汉语则相反,往往按照事情发生的顺序来叙述,最后才说个人的感受。 The most important day I remember in all my life is the one on which my teacher,Anne Mansfield Sullivan, came to me. I am filled with wonder when I consider the immeasurable contrast between the two lives which it connects. 在我的记忆里,安妮曼斯菲尔德沙利文老师来的那一天,是我一生中最重要的日子。从这一天开始,我的生活和以前迥然不同,一想到这一点,我就感到非常兴奋。 20.表达同样的意思,英语的结构比较紧,汉语的结构比较松。 A gang of men, under the direction of their energetic and likeable foreman, 25-year-old Phineas P. Gage, was working on a new line of the Rutland and Burlington railroad. 一伙工人正跟着他们的领班在拉特兰伯灵顿铁路的新线路上干活。这位领班名叫菲尼斯P盖奇,二十五岁,他精力充沛,待人和气。(原文是一简单句,有一个主语,一个谓语动词,却包含了这么多内容,结构显得比较紧。译文分为两句,第二句还包含两个并列分句,结构显得比较松。) 21.拆句的情况多,合句的情况少。 Poets as we know have always a made great use of alliteration. They are persuaded that the repetition of a sound gives an effect of beauty. 我们知道,诗人一般总喜欢押头韵,觉得重复一个声音会产生美的效果。(原文两句都比较短,译文合成一句,语气较顺。) 22.注意文体,应该用口语的地方,选用适合口语的词句。 “I remember thinking, No. No. Its not Jackson, its not my husband, its not my Jackson,” she said. “But it was. He was lying in the street, right across from our house. The police said a man shot him over a parking space.” “记得我当时就想:不,不。不是杰克逊,不是我丈夫,不是我的杰克逊”她说。“可是,那不是别人,正是他。他躺在大街上,就在我们的房子对面。警察说,为了争一块停车的地方,人家把他打死了。” 23.一段文章的最后一句,特别是全文最后一段的最后一句,要比较有力,否则文章煞不住。中英文都是这样。翻译时就要把这最后一句的分量表达出来,给人以深刻的印象。 Words have weight, sound and appearance; it is only by considering these that you can write a sentence that is good to look at and good to listen to. 词具有一定的分量、声音和形状,只有考虑到这些因素,写出来的句子才能既好听,又好看。(若把“好听”放在最后,就压不住了。) 24.题目可以照原文译,也可以根据文章的内容拟定。 A Valentine to One Who Cared Too Much. 衷肠曲(这个题目是参照文章的内容拟定的。原题的意思是:在情人节写给一个人的信,这个人关心的事情太多了。) 25.遇到中国读者可能不熟悉的典故、人名、地名等,除了加注以外,还可以在译文中加几个字,略加说明。 I learned a great many new words that day. I do not remember what they all were; but I do know that mother, father,sister, teacher were among them words that were to make the world blossom for me, “like Aarons rod, with flowers.” 那一天我学了许多新词,也记不清都有哪些词了。但是其中肯定有“母亲”、“父亲”、“姐姐”、“老师”后来就是这些词把一个美好的世界展现在我的面前,就像圣经上说的“亚伦的杖开了花”一样。(这个典故出自旧约民数记第17章第8节。为了帮助中国读者了解,译文加了“就像圣经上说的”几个字。) 翻译漫谈(十三)汉译英:基本功 最近我看了一本用英文出版的论文集,是介绍我国改革开放的情况的。书中共有文章18篇,其中13篇有译者署名,并经8人审阅,其余5篇没有译者署名,可能是作者自译,也许是直接用英文写的。 这18篇文章均出自相关领域的专家学者之手,专业性比较强,要译好,或者要评论译文的优劣,必须有相关的知识。我们不具备这样的条件,而且我们只见到译文而见不到原文,因此我们只能就译文本身提出一些看法。 一名词与冠词 1 Over long period of time in our country, state enterprise is a main provider in respect to financial income of nation. 2 Those belonged to the latter approach pay much more attentions to the individuals. 3 . in term of both economics and environment. 4 In other word, what do we think.? 5 The actual situation is far from such a simple. 6 In addition, the development of economy always has periods of rise as well as fall. 7 Since 1990s, “globalization” has almost become an “everyday word” of the mass media in various countries. 8 Those suffering more have to ask for aids from IMF and some western countries like U.S. 9 On June 5,1972 in Stockholm, United Nations held its first UN conference on Human Settlement, for the first time raising human environment issue into the agenda of international politics. 10.capacity building thus becomes an only effective approach to sustainable development. 英语的名词分可数名词和不可数名词,而且往往要和冠词连用。例1中的period, enterprise和nation都是可数名词。period在这里是泛指,没有说是哪一段时间,因此要加不定冠词,说a long period of time。enterprise在这里也是泛指,泛指往往用复数,或用单数加定冠词,表明这一类的东西,因此这里要说state enterprises,或the state enterprise, 既不用复数又不用冠词是不行的。nation在这里专指我国,一定要加定冠词,说the nation。例9中的issue也是专指,要加定冠词。 英语有些名词既可用作可数名词,也可用作不可数名词。如preparation(s),negotiation(s),experience(s),success(es)等。这两种用法,其含义有时无大差异,有时略有不同。例2中的attention一词就属于后一种情况。据词典解释,attentions作为可数名词的复数,意思是things that sb does to try to please you or to show their interest in you。因此,例2只能用attention,不能用其复数形式。 英语有些短语是非常固定的,叫做idioms,不能轻易改动,如in terms of,in other words,等等。因此,例3和例4中用名词的单数形式是不行的。 英语许多词可以用作不同的词类,这在词典里都是标明的。但我们也不能随心所欲。例5 such a后面要跟名词,放个simple在那里是不行的,其实这句话只要把such a删去就行了。far from simple等于not simple,在语法上也是站得住脚的。 用economy一词泛指一个国家或地区的经济状况,要用定冠词。词典举例:The economy is in recession. | The new oil that we have found will improve the/our economy. | the slowdown in the Japanese economy 此三例选自三本不同的词典,但都用了the,有一本词典竟先说明(often the economy), 然后才释义。 用英语表示“二十世纪九十年代”,应该是the 1990s。那一撇是可有可无的,但定冠词是一定要有的。这一点,许多译者容易忽略。 例8里的IMF要加定冠词。词典举例:the IMF is an organization within the United Nations which is concerned with trade and economic development。在例8中,U.S. 用作名词,前面也须加定冠词。再如“欧盟”的缩写是the EU。词典释义中写道:The EU used to be known as the EC(European Community)。这几个名称,the IMF, the EU, the United Nations,无论是简称还是全称,在句子里作为名词出现时,都要加定冠词。有没有不加定冠词的情况呢?有的。UNESCO,NATO,ASEAN,这些词全不需要加定冠词。有什么规律可循呢?根据Michael Swan 所著 Practical English Usage(英语用法指南),首字母缩略词(acronyms),其读音像一个词一样,通常不用冠词。 例10中的不定冠词须改为定冠词。根据Practical English Usage第65.4条,the经常与最高级连用,因为通常只有一个个体或集体称得上best或biggest等,其所指的是哪一个(或哪一些)是清楚的。由于同样的原因,the经常与first,next,last,same和only连用。词典举例:She is the only person for the job. 二.动词 11. The influence of the related policies made by the government, including the policies which is considered afterwards to have played an active role in the development of the refrigerator industry, is secondary and supplementary. 12. The disparity between the poor and the rich in food consumption are not manifested in quantity, but in quality. 13. The first Constitution of the Peoples Republic of China which adopted on 1954 clearly indicates in its article 45:“.” 14. Secondly, as mentioned above, the comparison make us to think over the reasons of different choices of welfare policies. 15. The rural people who made of the majority of the Chinese population did not enjoy these welfare. 16. After the World War, the developed economies have been recovering and developing rapidly. 17. Who knows whether the SOE gains or losses? 18. Although all the states are facing the possibilities of either win or lost, the developed countries enjoy the more favorable position than the under-developed countries. 19. The government of Zhucheng town requested that the net asset in all Joint-Stock enterprises should be divided into two parts after fulfil their property assessment. 20. As a result, the more rapidly the country develops, the more tightly it is bounded to the international monetary and financial system. 正确使用英语动词,需要注意三件事:一是时态对不对,与句中的时间状语是否吻合(如果有时间状语的话);二是数是否与主语一致,是单数还是复数;三是语态对不对,是主动还是被动。 例11 which引导的从句中有afterwards,此时间状语的意思是“以后”,但其所指是过去发生的事,因此动词的时态应是过去时。从句主语which指的是前面的复数名词policies,因此动词应为复数。这样从句就应改为which were considered.。 例12主语disparity是单数,动词应该是is.,而不应是are.。例13 which引导的从句指的是constitution,动词应该用被动语态,因此应改为which was adopted.。 英语动词是一个复杂的词类。除了注意以上三件事,还要看它跟什么词连用和怎样连用,一不小心,就会出错。 例14主语comparison是单数,动词make需改为makes才能与主语的数一致。另外,make后面出动词不定式是不用to的,因此这个to应删去。例15 make后面跟of可以表示用什么制作,但此处要表示to form,to constitute,就要用make up。词典举例:Women make up 56 of the student numbers。因此例15中的made of应改为made up。例9,raising the.issue into the agenda也不合乎英语说法,可改为putting the.issue on the agenda。 例16 先解决一个冠词问题。谈到“二次大战”之类的名称,英语若数字后出,则不用冠词,说Word War就行了。若数字先出,则要定冠词,要说the Second World War。这一句主要是需要解决时间状语和动词时态一致的问题。After Word War指的是二次大战结束后的一段时间,一般说来指的时间不太长,稍长一点也可以,但不能指到现在,动词只能是过去时。若想指到现在,就要说Since Word War, 这样动词就可以用现在完成时或现在完成进行时。从例16的内容看,因提到recover,还是用过去时较好。这句话可改为After World War,the developed economies recovered and developed rapidly. 英语动词的形式变化多端。有时动词和名词的形式是一样的。如gain既可是动词,也可是名词。lose就比较复杂。动词是lose,其过去时和过去分词是lost,名词是loss, 形容词是loose。用哪种形式,全看它在句中起什么作用。例17,和前面的动词gains并列,就应该用动词loses, 而不该用名词losses。例18,在the possibilities of后面该用动名词winning or losing。例19,在after后面也该用动名词fulfilling。例20,后半句用了被动语态,但过去分词bounded是不对的。此处动词原形是bind,其过去分词应是bound,因此这里用is bound to.就对了。 三介词、连词与句子结构 21 When such a physical limit is reached, the food consumption and nutrition intake of the people would generally not increase despite of further rise in income. 22. There was already a lot of discussions about the crisis in the economic as well as technical levels. 23. On a certain degree, it is the goal but not the reality. 24. The property assessment in the enterprise must be assessed by professional staffs and institutions that passed examination of the state. 25. Having summed up the preliminary experience of reform in the cities and rural areas, the principle of 26. We should, from a long-term point of view, make efforts in developing the rural economy to reduce rural-urban disparity, therefore, labor migration from urban to rural areas, driven by benefit, will appear. 27. The financial reform in China has made great progress, however, the whole financial market is still under restraint. 28. But the question is, health is everybodys basic right, what is the reason to legally enforce some people to donate their blood just for other peoples health? 29. Government is no longer responsible for gain and loss in state enterprises since the reform, soft budget restriction in the enterprise changes more or less, the financial pressure for the enterprise aggravates. 30. The reform of state owned enterprise was set as a key part of overall economic reform at the beginning of 80s, since then the governments at central and local levels, entrepreneurs and economists have denoted much attentions and exerted many efforts to the reform, but one has to admit that comparing to the reforms in all the other fields in country, until now the reform of state enterprise is in the state of lowest point of “efficiency of input-output ”, from all views, the achievements we have made can not match the huge efforts (personnel resources, materials, finances and energies) we have exerted. 介词是英语里最灵活的一个词类,它能引出介词短语在句中发挥各种作用,它能跟动词连用,把不及物动词变成及物动词,引出宾语。总之,介词在英语里广泛使用,在汉语里许多用动词表达的意思,在英语里可以用介词来表达。然而介词又是英语里一个很机械的词类,它有许多固定的说法,稍一改变,不是不合用法,就是产出了别的意思。这就使我们感到很困难,必须用心体会,牢牢记住。 例21,despite就是介词,等于in spite of,因此不能说despite of,也不能说in despite of。例22,levels前面不能用in。levels在这里指的是讨论问题的角度,前面可用on。例23,习惯说法应是To a certain degree。此外,例1中的in respect to也是不行的。可以说in respect of,也可以说with respect to,这是固定的,是不能换的。例13中的on 1954也是不行的,on只能用于日期,这里一定要用in。 例24,主语是assessment,和动词must be assessed不搭配。把assessment删去,用property作主语,就和动词搭配了。例25,分词短语和主语不搭配,把principle换掉,用人来作主语就可以了。 在英语里,therefore和however都是副词,不是连词,不能起连接分句的作用。词典举例:Hes only 17 and therefore not eligible to vote. We thought the figures were correct. However, we have now discovered some errors. 例26,可在第1个分句末尾加and。例27,可将however前面的逗号改为分号,或将此逗号改为句号,下面另起一句。 例28,前半句是陈述句,后半句是问句。英语一般不这样说,可以分成两句,一个陈述句,一个问句,各自独立。也可以考虑在But后面加一个as,把前半句变成一个从句。 汉语有时把几个短句放在一个长句里,只用逗号,不用连词,前后关系自明,这就是王力先生所说的“意合”。但这种作法在英语里则行不通。英语喜欢用连词,把前后关系说得清清楚楚,否则就不要放在一个句子里,这就是所谓“形合”。 例29和例30就有这样的问题。现在别的问题都不谈了,只谈长句里面短句之间的联系。例29有三个短句,只用逗号相连是不行的,至少要把第3个短句之前的逗号改为and。例30很长,它所包含的三个短句也都有一定的长度,因此最好把它分成三句,从since then开始另起一句,然后从from all views开始再起一句,这样就好多了。 看到这里,读者也许会说,你啰嗦了这半天,但所谈内容的深度似乎并未超出任何一本简单的英语语法。的确是这样,本文所谈全是语法书里讲的最基本的道理,学英语的人没有没学过的。但知道这些规则是一回事,能正确运用这些规则是另一回事。 本文所谈的十八篇文章,译文质量也不一样,有几篇质量很高,其余的则问题较多,参加工作的这二十多位译者和校阅者肯定学过好多年英语,掌握的词汇量很大,有不少翻译经验和专业知识,能翻译有一定深度的相当专门的文章。如果说他们

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