A Virtual Life.doc

A Virtual LifeMaia Szalavitz1 After too long on the Net, even a phone call can be a shock. My boyfriends Liverpool accent suddenly becomes impossible to interpret after his easily understood words on screen; a secretarys clipped tone seems more rejecting than Id imagined it would be. Time itself becomes fluid - hours become minutes, or seconds stretch into days. Weekends, once a highlight of my week, are now just two ordinary days. 虚拟世界的生活迈亚塞拉维茨 在网上呆了太久，听到电话铃声也会吓一大跳。显示屏上看多了我男朋友那些一目了然的文字，他的利物浦口音一下子变得难以听懂；而秘书的清脆快速的语调听上去比我想象的要生硬。时间本身变得捉摸不定几小时变成几分钟，或几秒钟延伸为几天。周末原本是我一周的黄金时段，现在却不过是平平常常的两天。2 For the last three years, since I stopped working as a television producer, I have done much of my work as a telecommuter. I submit articles and edit them via email and communicate with colleagues on Internet mailing lists. My boyfriend lives in England, so much of our relationship is also computer-assisted.在我不再当电视制片人的这三年间，我的大部分工作都是在家里使用计算机终端进行的。我通过电子邮件投稿和校订，利用互联网上的人名地址与同行交流。我男朋友住在英国，因此两人的关系也在很大程度上借助于电脑维系。3 If I desired, I could stay inside for weeks without wanting anything. I can order food, and manage my money, love and work. In fact, at times I have spent as long as three weeks alone at home, going out only to get mail and buy newspapers and groceries. I watched most of the endless snowstorm of 96 on TV. 我要是愿意的话，可以一连几个星期不出门而什么也不缺。我可以在网上订购食品、网上理财、网上恋爱、网上工作。事实上我有时独自呆在家里长达三个星期，只偶尔出去拿信、买报纸及日用品。1996年那一场接一场的暴风雪我大都是在电视上看到的。4 But after a while, life itself begins to feel unreal. I start to feel as though Ive become one with my machines, taking data in, spitting them back out, just another link in the Net. Others on line report the same symptoms. We start to feel an aversion to outside forms of socializing. We have become the Net critics worst nightmare. 然而，一段时间之后，生活本身就显得不那么真实了。我开始觉得自己似乎与机器融为一体了，我接收信息，再发送出去，就如同互联网的一个连接点。其他上网的人也谈到了同样的症状。我们开始厌恶外面的社交方式。我们的状况成了批评互联网的人们最害怕见到的一幕。5 What first seemed like a luxury, crawling from bed to computer, not worrying about hair, and clothes and face, has become a form of escape, a lack of discipline. And once you start replacing real human contact with cyber-interaction, coming back out of the cave can be quite difficult. 一下床就上机，不再为发型、服饰、面部化妆烦心，起初看似高级的享受如今却成为一种对生活的逃避，一种缺乏自律的表现。你一旦开始用网络交际取代人与人的真实接触，要走出这种穴居状态就会相当困难。6 I find myself shyer, more cautious, more anxious. Or, conversely, when suddenly confronted with real live humans, I get overexcited, speak too much, interrupt. I constantly worry if I am dressed appropriately, that perhaps Ive actually forgotten to put on a skirt and walked outside in the T-shirt and underwear I sleep and live in. 我发现自己变得比以前怯生、谨慎、焦虑。或者，反过来，当我突然面对现实中活生生的人时，会变得过于兴奋，说个不停，爱打断别人的讲话。我老是担心自己衣着是否得体，担心自己会不会真的忘了穿裙子，只穿着夜间睡觉、白天活动的那件T恤和内衣就出门了。7 At times, I turn on the television and just leave it to talk away in the background, something that Id never done previously. The voices of the programs are comforting, but then Im jarred by the commercials. I find myself sucked in by soap operas, or needing to keep up with the latest news and the weather. Dateline, Frontline, Nightline, CNN, New York 1, every possible angle of every story over and over and over, even when they are of no possible use to me. Work moves into the background. I decide to check my email. 有时我把电视机开着，让它作为背景声音一直响着，以前我从不这样做。电视节目中的说话声让人感到宽慰，可那些广告又叫我心烦。我发现自己沉浸在肥皂剧里，或者不停地收看最新的新闻报道和天气预报。一而再再而三地从“每日新闻”、“一线新闻”、 “夜间新闻”、 有线新闻电视网、纽约一套上收看有关每一条新闻的各种不同视角的报道，尽管它们对我毫无用处。工作成了次要的。我决定去看一下自己的电子信箱。8 On line, I find myself attacking everyone in sight. I am bad-tempered, and easily angered. I find everyone on my mailing list insensitive, believing that theyve forgotten that there are people actually reading their wounding remarks. I dont realize that Im projecting until after Ive been embarrassed by someone who politely points out that Ive attacked her for agreeing with me. 在网上，我发现自己见谁攻谁。我脾气暴躁，动辄生气。我觉得我与之通信的每一个人都麻木不仁，认为他们已经忘却还有人真会去读他们那些刻薄伤人的言辞。直到有人礼貌地指出，她同意我的观点却遭到我的抨击时，我才意识到，自己是在以己度人，不由得深感尴尬。9 When Im in this state, I fight my boyfriend as well, misinterpreting his intentions because of the lack of emotional cues given by our typed dialogue. The fight takes hours, because the system keeps crashing. I say a line, then he does, then crash! And yet we keep on, doggedly. 在这种精神状态下，我也和男朋友吵架，常因键出的对话缺乏情感暗示而误解他的本意。由于系统常出故障，两人一争就是几个小时。我写一句，他回一句，接着系统失灵！可我们俩还是锲而不舍地接着吵。10 Id never realized how important daily routine is: dressing for work, sleeping normal hours. Id never thought I relied so much on co-workers for company. I began to understand why long-term unemployment can be so damaging, why life without an externally supported daily plan can lead to higher rates of drug abuse, crime, suicide. 以前我从未意识到日常的生活起居是多么重要，如穿戴整齐去上班，按时就寝。以前我从未想过自己会那么依赖同事做伴。我开始理解为什么长时间的失业会那么伤人，为什么一个人的生活缺少了外部支持的日常计划就会导致吸毒、犯罪、自杀率的增长。11 To restore balance to my life, I force myself back into the real world. I call people, arrange to meet with the few remaining friends who havent fled New York City. I try to at least get to the gym, so as to set apart the weekend from the rest of my week. I arrange interviews for stories, doctors appointments - anything to get me out of the house and connected with others. 为了恢复生活的平衡，我强迫自己回到真实世界中去。我给别人打电话，与所剩无几的仍然住在纽约城的几个朋友安排见面。我至少设法去去健身房，以便使周末与工作日有所不同。我安排采访好写报道，预约看医生安排任何需要我出门与他人接触的活动。12 But sometimes being face to face is too much. I see a friend and her ringing laughter is intolerable - the noise of conversation in the restaurant, unbearable. I make my excuses and flee. I re-enter my apartment and run to the computer as though it were a place of safety. 但有时面对面地与人相处实在难以忍受。