汉英翻译（上）教案.doc

汉英翻译（上）教案主讲：魏志成教授第5单元I 提示同第4单元 II 译法要点 5.1不妥的合译 5.2 独立结构: with+复合结构5.3 重新梳理句际关系 5.4 误译：被动句5.5漏译 5.6变通：逗号破折号5.7呼应：主题 5.8变通：增补（现在完成进行时）5.9 误用：介词 5.10误用：词语5.11变通：分译(单词) 5.12误译：语义逻辑5.13变通：阐释法（II） 5.14 风格：对应式换码5.15历史现在时（I）III 原文与译文【原文】香山红叶（II）听着这个白胡子老人絮絮叨叨谈些离奇的传说，你会觉得香山更富有迷人的神话色彩。我们不会那么煞风景，偏要说不信。只是一路上山，怎么连一片红叶也看不见? 老人说：“你先别急，一上半山亭，什么都看见了。” 我们上了半山亭，朝东一望，真是一片好景，莽莽苍苍的河北大平原就摆在眼前，烟树深处，正藏着我们的北京城。也妙，本来也算有点气魄的昆明湖，看起来只像一盆清水。万寿山，佛香阁，不过是些点缀的盆景。我们都忘了看红叶。红叶就在高山头坡上，满眼都是，半黄半红的，倒还有意思。可惜叶子伤了水，红的又不透。要是红透了，太阳一照，那颜色该有多浓。 我望着红叶，问：“这是什么树?怎么不大像枫叶?” 老向导说：“本来不是枫叶嘛。这叫红树。”就指着路边的树，说：“你看看，就是那种树。” 路边的红树叶子还没红，所以我们都没注意。我走过去摘下一片，叶子是圆的，只有叶脉上微微透出点红意。 我不觉叫：“哎呀!还香呢。”把叶子送到鼻子上闻了一闻，那叶子发出一股轻微的药香。 另一位同伴也嗅了嗅，叫：“哎呀!是香。怪不得叫香山。” 老向导也慢慢说：“真是香呢。我怎么做了四十年向导，早先就没闻见过呢?” 我的老大爷，我不十分清楚你过去的身世，但是从你脸上密密的纹路里，猜得出你是个久经风霜的人。你的心过去是苦的，你怎么能闻到红叶的香味?我也不十分清楚你今天的生活，可是你看，这么大年纪的一位老人，爬起山来不急，也不喘，好像不快，我们可总是落在后边，跟不上。有这样轻松脚步的老年人，心情也该是轻松的，还能闻不见红叶香? 老向导就在满山红叶的香里，领着我们看了“森玉笏”、“西山晴雪”、昭庙，还有别的香山风景。下山的时候，将近黄昏，一仰脸望见东边天上现出半轮上弦的白月亮，一位同伴忽然想起来，说：“今天是不是重阳?一翻身边带的报纸，原来是重阳的第二日。我们这一次秋游，倒应了重九登高的旧俗。也有人觉得没看见一片好红叶，未免美中不足。我却摘到一片更可贵的红叶，藏到我心里去。这不是一般的红叶，这是一片曾在人生经过风吹雨打的红叶，越到老秋，越红得可爱。不用说，我指的是那位老向导。 【译文】译文1Red Leaves on Xiangshan（II）After the white-whiskered old man had invested Xiangshan with these mystic, colorful stories , I would not spoil the fun by voicing disbelief. Only why was there not a single red leaf all the way up the hill?The old man said：Dont be impatient! As soon as we reach the pavilion half way up the hill , youll see everything. As we reached the pavilion, a truly beautiful sight unfolded itself to the east. The vast Hebei Plain stretched out in front of us with our beloved city, Beijing, hidden in the thick of the misty trees. It was wondrous, in a way, to see Kunming Lake in the Summer Palace, which had always been considered a great lake , appear more like a basin of clear water, and Wanshoushan (Longevity Hill) and Foxiangge (Temple of Incense to the Buddha) mere little artifices for flower pots. We had forgotten about the leaves although the slope higher up was completely covered with them, yellowing and turning red. Too bad that the rain had spoilt the color, preventing them from turning a true red. How beautiful they might otherwise have been in the sunshine !Gazing at them, I asked：What kind of trees are they? They dont look like maple. Theyre really not maples; theyre called red trees, the old man replied. Pointing at a tree by the road, he said: Take a look. This is one. This tree had not turned red; that was why we paid no attention to it. I went over and broke off a leaf - round in shape with its veins beginning to show red. Ah! It smells good! I could not help exclaiming as I brought the leaf to my nose and detected a faint scent resembling herbal medicine. Someone else smelled it and said: Oh, yes! It does smell good! No wonder its called Fragrance Hill. Really good! The old man also commented in his slow manner. How come in my forty years as a guide I had never noticed its fragrance?My dear grandpa, I said to myself, I know little of your past , but merely judging from the thick wrinkles on your face, it is easy to surmise what a harsh life you must have had. With so much suffering , how could you have had the leisure to detect the leafs fragrance? I know little, too, of your present life, but you could walk up the hill easily without breathing hard while we had trouble catching up with you. You must be as light-hearted as you are light-footed. Why should you not smell the fragrance of the leaves now? Amid the pervading fragrance of these red leaves , the old man took up to see Senyuhu (Forest of Jade Tablets) , Xishanqingxue (Sun on the Snowy Western Hills) , Zhaomiao (Bright Temple) and many other scenic spots. It was nearing evening when we began to come down the mountain. Reminded by the first quarter of the moon shining bright overhead, someone suddenly said：Isnt today the Double-ninth of the lunar calendar? Checking in the newspaper that we had brought along showed That it was the day after the Double-ninth Festival. Our trip this day unexpectedly fitted in with the old custom of climbing mountains on this occasion.Some among us regretted that we had not seen a single beautiful red leaf. But I had found a precious red leaf and hidden it in my heart. It was not an ordinary red leaf but one that had weathered many of lifes storms , and whose color had intensified in its deepening late autumn. Needless to say, my red leaf was the old man. 译文2The Red Leaves on the Fragrant Hill（II）Listening to the old mans garrulous talking about those fantastic legends , you could feel that the Fragrant Hill was still full of charming mythological flavour. We would not spoil the fun by saying we didnt believe in him. Thus we continued to climb all the way up the hill, but why not a single piece of red leaf could be found?The old man said, Dont worry. When we climb to the Banshan Pavilion (Hillside Pavilion) , you will see everything. When we reached Banshan Pavilion, we looked towards the east. What a splendid sight ! The immense misty Hebei Plain spread before our eyes, and in the midst of the foggy trees Beijing City was hidden. It was really a wonder that the Kunming Lake, which originally held mans vision, now only looked like a basin of clear water. Wanshoushan (The Longevity Hill ) and Foxiangge (Tower for Incense for the Buddha) were but a few potted landscapes of decoration. We all forgot to look for the red leaves on the slope of the hill. Although the vast stretch of them were still partly yellow and partly red, they were actually very interesting. The sad thing was that the leaves spoiled the water, for the red leaves were not red enough. If they had been red through, how luxurious they would have been in the sun shine! Looking at the leaves, I asked：What tree is it? Why is it not quite like Chinese sweet gum?The old man said, It is by no means Chinese sweet gum. It is mangrove. Then pointing to the tree by the road he said, You see, it is that kind of tree. The leaves of the mangroves on the roadside also had not yet turned red, so we paid little attention to them. I went over to pick one of the leaves. It was round and only the veins penetrated a slight red colour.I cried out involuntarily： “Aha ! It smells so fragrant ! ”As I put the leaf under my nose, it gave off a slight medicinal fragrance . Another tourist smelled it too and cried：Aha! It is really fragrant! No wonder this place is called the Fragrant Hill.The old guide said slowly too, It is really fragrant. I have been working as a tourist guide for forty years now, why have I not smelt it? My old uncle, I am not so clear about your past experience , but from the dense wrinkles in your face, I can guess that you are a man who has experienced hardships in life. In the past your heart was bitter, so how could you smell the fragrance of the red leaves? I am not so clear about your life today, but such an old man as you, while climbing, you neither walk fast nor are short of breath. You seem to be not so quick in your steps, and no matter how hard we tried, we could not keep up with you. An old man with such light steps must be light in your heart. Why then could not you smell the fragrance of the red leaves?The fragrance of the red leaves lingered all over the hill as the old guide led us on to visit other sights as Sen Yu Hu, Xishan Qingxuer” (Clear Snow in the West Hill) , Temple of Zhao and other scenic spots around the Fragrant Hill. When we began descending, it was nearly dusk. Lifting my head, I saw half a white moon (the first quarter moon) was hanging in the sky. Suddenly, a companion recalled something and said , Isnt it the Double Ninth Festival today? Fetching out the newspaper, it turned out to be the second day of the Double Ninth Festival. This autumn tour of ours coincided with the old Chinese custom , the Double Ninth Festival !There were also some people who felt it a pity because they had not seen a good red leaf, regarding it much like a fly in the ointment. But as for me, I picked a precious red leaf and held it in my heart. It was not an ordinary red leaf but a red leaf that had experienced the hardship in life. The more autumn advances, the more lovely it becomes. It goes without saying that the red leaf is the old tourist guide.-Double Ninth Festival: An old Chinese customary festival on the ninth day of the ninth month in the lunar calendar. On this day people used to climb onto a high place to peacefully think of their dead men.IV 比较分析与译法（1） 1听着这个白胡子老人絮絮叨叨谈些离奇的传说，2你会觉得香山更富有迷人的神话色彩。3我们不会那么煞风景，4偏要说不信。5只是一路上山，6怎么连一片红叶也看不见?译文1 After the white-whiskered old man had invested Xiangshan with these mystic, colorful stories , I would not spoil the fun by voicing disbelief. Only why was there not a single red leaf all the way up the hill?译文2 Listening to the old mans garrulous talking about those fantastic legends , you could feel that the Fragrant Hill was still full of charming mythological flavour. We would not spoil the fun by saying we didnt believe in him. Thus we continued to climb all the way up the hill, but why not a single piece of red leaf could be found?5.1不妥的合译 合译在汉英翻译中是常见的一种技巧，这是因为汉语的语句偏于短小或松散，而英语语句偏于长而紧凑，所以需要合译。但是合译仍然要以保证原文信息的正确传达为前提，这一点是无庸质疑的。就语段的分析来看，原文为两个句号句，一个问号句，相互并列。两个译文采取的方法都不相同：译文1偏于合译，译文2重在顺译。无论是从语义信息的传达还是从文体风格的再现，译文2的顺译都要比译文1的合译更能体现原文。就1234部分而言，2为1主句，1为修饰2的时间状语句；4为3的主句，3为4的原因状语句。12与34互为并列。译文1将1234合译之后，其不妥之处在于：第一、丢失了部分语义，如原文的“絮絮叨叨”（注意：这个词在译文2中体现为garrulous）；第二、丢失了原文修辞句的风格，如原文以“你”开头的修辞句。现代汉语词典说，“你”字可以泛指任何人或一般人，有时候实际上指“我”（注意译文2顺译为you开头的句子，因为英语里的you也可以泛指任何人或一般人）。 （2）我们上了半山亭，朝东一望，真是一片好景，莽莽苍苍的河北大平原就摆在眼前，烟树深处，正藏着我们的北京城。译文1 As we reached the pavilion, a truly beautiful sight unfolded itself to the east. The vast Hebei Plain stretched out in front of us with our beloved city, Beijing, hidden in the thick of the misty trees. 译文2 When we reached Banshan Pavilion, we looked towards the east. What a splendid sight ! The immense misty Hebei Plain spread before our eyes, and in the midst of the foggy trees Beijing City was hidden. 5.2 独立结构: with+复合结构就对本句原文的处理而言，译文1采用独立结构的方法比译文2要显得更加流畅一些。如我们所知，汉语句短而且松散，所以英译时常常需要采用合句（关于合句请参见1.15）。合句的手段有很多，如增补连词、介词等。使用独立结构（Absolute Construction）来完成合句也是一种非常有效的技巧。With+复合结构，是独立结构中的一种，其中的复合结构包括：（一）名词/代词+现在分词；（二）名词/代词+过去分词；（三）名词/代词+形容词；（四）名词/代词+不定式；（五）名词/代词+介词短语；（六）名词/代词+副词。独立结构的语义功能包括：表示行为方式、伴随情况、时间、原因、条件、同位语等。 就本语篇的两个译文而言， 译文1共使用了3处独立结构；译文2也使用了1处独立结构，它们是：99With his hands folded over his abdomen, the old man led the way at a pace neither too fast nor too slow while he went on talking in his accustomed slow manner :（with+名词+过去分词, 译文1）100and dreamed he was in a boat with swelling waves under his feet. （with+名词+介词, 译文1）101The vast Hebei Plain stretched out in front of us with our beloved city, Beijing, hidden in the thick of the misty trees. （with+名词+过去分词, 译文1）102The old guide walked in front at a moderate pace with his two hands across his belly and always saying unhurriedly , （with+名词+介词, 译文2）（3） 我们都忘了看红叶。红叶就在高山头坡上，满眼都是，半黄半红的，倒还有意思。译文1 We had forgotten about the leaves although the slope higher up was completely covered with them, yellowing and turning red. 译文2 We all forgot to look for the red leaves on the slope of the hill. Although the vast stretch of them were still partly yellow and partly red, they were actually very interesting. 5.3 重新梳理句际关系由于汉语的特性所致，我们有时对汉语句际关系的理解恐怕不能只是停留在表面的标点符号上，而是需要在超越标点符号形式的对原文句际关系进行重新梳理，并且按照英语表达的形式作出调整。譬如，对原文两个句号句的处理，译文1、2似乎都存在可以进一步商榷的地方，-这主要指对原文句际关系的理解与表达。译文1虽然理解到了两个句号句之间的内在关系，但是漏译了原文“倒还有意思”一句，也许是因为不太好处理“倒还有意思”一句与其它部分的关系；译文2的although一句，虽然是按照原文另起一句，但是这个复句却在语义上隔断了与前一句内在联系，而且把原文句子重心“我们都忘了看红叶”，转移到了“倒还有意思”。我总体上倾向于译文1的理解和句式表达，需要补充的是把“倒还有意思”理解为与“半黄半红”的递进关系。因此，译文可以修改为： 103We had forgotten to look for the red leaves on the slope of the hill, although the vast stretch of them were still partly yellow ,partly red and very interesting.（4）可惜叶子伤了水，红的又不透。 译文1 Too bad that the rain had spoilt the color, preventing them from turning a true red. 译文2 The sad thing was that the leaves spoiled the water, for the red leaves were not red enough. 5.4 误译：被动句（参考1.13 ）“叶子伤了水”的深层意义应该是“叶子被雨水伤了”，也就是说原文是一个无形态标志的被动句或被动语态 ；如果转换为主动语态，这句话的意思是“雨水伤了叶子”。译文1理解到了原文的语态意义，并从主动语态入手, 当然是可以的；而译文2既没有理解原文的语态意义, 也误解了句际关系, 因而造成译文失误。建议译文修改为： 104The sad thing was that the leaves were spoiled by the rainwater, so the red leaves were not red enough. （5）1要是红透了，2太阳一照，3那颜色该有多浓。译文1 How beautiful they might otherwise have been in the sunshine !译文2 If they had been red through, how luxurious they would have been in the sun shine!5.5漏译译文1漏译了原文1“要是红透了”一句，使得译文的语义与原文有出入，因为：12都是修饰主句3的从句；如果漏译1这个条件从句，主句的表意欠逻辑。正确表达参见译文2（不过译文2 中的sun shine应该拼写为sunshine，疑为排版失误）。 （6）1路边的红树叶子还没红，2所以我们都没注意。3我走过去摘下一片，4叶子是圆的，5只有叶脉上微微透出点红意。译文1 This tree had not turned red; that was why we paid no attention to it. I went over and broke off a leaf - round in shape with its veins beginning to show red.译文2 The leaves of the mangroves on the roadside also had not yet turned red, so we paid little attention to them. I went over to pick one of the leaves. It was round and only the veins penetrated a slight red colour.5.6变通：逗号破折号汉英语标点符号的使用或翻译，可能比我们平常想象的要复杂或灵活一些，尤其是汉语的标点符号的使用及其英译。譬如原文3后面的逗号，在译文1中被转换为一个破折号。比起译文2相应的处理，译文1的这个破折号实在是翻译得很好。为什么？首先我们必须深刻理解原文逗号的语义功能。如林穗芳（2000：197）所说，汉语逗号-比起其他标点符号来说-用途最广泛，用法也最灵活，因此也最难掌握。原文3后面的逗号，其语义功能是引出一个补充解释性的同位语，具体地说就是45都是“一片（叶子）”的同位语。就同位语的表达而言，其前也可以使用破折号，如林穗芳（2000：304）所说定义的那样：“破折号后面的话是对破折号前面词语的概念内涵作具体解释，所指的范围相同。”因此，345句的“，。”格式，也可以转换为“，。”格式，即：“我走过去摘下一片叶子是圆的，只有叶脉上微微透出点红意。”其次，我们必须理解英语破折号的语义功能。如我们所知，英语的同位语或同位语从句经常由一个破折号引出。（张道真、温志达.下.1998:518）通过这样一个对比性的沟通，译文将原文3之后、45之前的逗号转换为破折号是非常贴切的。综合两个译文的优译，建议译文修改为：105The leaves of the mangroves on the roadside also had not yet turned red, so we paid little attention to them. I went over to pick one of the leaves- round in shape with its veins beginning to show red.（7） 我不觉叫：“哎呀!还香呢。”把叶子送到鼻子上闻了一闻，那叶子发出一股轻微的药香。另一位同伴也嗅了嗅，叫：“哎呀!是香。怪不得叫香山。”译文1 Ah! It smells good! I could not help exclaiming as I brought the leaf to my nose and detected a faint scent resembling herbal medicine. Someone else smelled it and said: Oh, yes! It does smell good! No wonder its called Fragrance Hill. 译文2 I cried out involuntarily ：“Aha ! It smells so fragrant ! ”As I put the leaf under my nose, it gave off a slight medicinal fragrance . Another tourist smelled it too and cried : Aha! It is really fragrant! No wonder this place is called the Fragrant Hill.5.7呼应：主题原文中的这几句话，对于主题来讲，有着直接点题的作用；从情节上看，是全文的高潮部分。原文标题为香山红叶，这里点出了“香山”之所以“香”，是因为满山的红叶一到秋天便发出的诱人的药香味。可见“香山”的“香”是有实实在在的意义的，英译时突出这个意义是必要的。但是，地名翻译又是提倡遵循“音译为主，适当意译，照顾通译”的原则，以便保留其文化特性，（参见4.1）所以对于这个带有主题意义的地名不能简单地意译为Fragrance Hill或Fragrant Hill。译文1在一开头就注意到了这一点，可惜在这里没有进行呼应；译文2在处理其它地名时都注意到音译与意译的兼顾，而恰恰对于这个主题地名忽视了。所以，我建议首先音译这个地名，然后再增补一个意译地名。这样的话，与译文开头对“香山”的处理便形成呼应，也甚至点明了缘由；再者也与译文中其它地名的处理方式形成风格上的统一。106 I cried out involuntarily,“Aha ! It smells so fragrant ! ”As I put the leaf under my nose, it gave off a faint fragrance resembling herbal medicine .Another tourist smelled it too and cried ,Aha! It is really fragrant! No wonder this place is called Xiangshan Hill, - Fragrant Hill. （8）老向导也慢慢说：“真是香呢。我怎么做了四十年向导，早先就没闻见过呢?”译文1Really good! The old man also commented in his slow manner. How come in my forty years as a guide I had never noticed its fragrance?译文2 The old guide said slowly too, It is really fragrant. I have been working as a tourist guide for forty years now, why have I not smelt it?5.8变通：增补（现在完成进行时）（参见2.14）英语动词的时态形式和意义比汉语要细腻得很多，这是汉英翻译时需要特别注意的一点。事实上，只要一遇到汉语动词的英译，就必须考虑到其相应的外在形式和内在意义。如原文“我做了四十年向导”一句，译文1将其处理为一个介词短语，译文2以一个含现在完成进行时的句子对应。很显然，译文2的处理更加符合原文的深层语义，这是因为现在完成进行时将原文“40年前开始做向导并且现在仍然在做向导”的这个意义完全表达了出来。如我们所知，在英语中，现在完成进行时不仅可以表示一个由过去某时开始一直持续到现在的动作，而且还表示这个动作仍然在继续。（张道真，温志达.下.1998：440）结合其他几个因素，建议译文修改为：107 Really fragrant! The old guide said slowly too. Although I have been working as a tourist guide for forty years now, why have I not smelt it? （9）我的老大爷，我不十分清楚你过去的身世，但是从你脸上密密的纹路里，猜得出你是个久经风霜的人。译文1 My dear grandpa, I said to myself, I know little of your past , but merely judging from the thick wrinkles on your face, it is easy to surmise what a harsh life you must have had.译文2 My old uncle, I am not so clear about your past experience , but from the dense wrinkles in your face, I can guess that you are a man who has experienced hardships in life.5.9 误用：介词“脸上密密的纹路”,译文1为the thick wrinkles on your face，译文2为the dense wrinkles in your face，其中译文2的in your face 为误用，应修改为on your face，如译文1，因为in sbs face 与on sbs face是不同的意思。当face被用于本意，即the front part of the head的时候，前面用介词on；当face被用于引申意义的时候，face前面的介词可以根据不同的意思使用不同的介词。以下是相关英语词典中给出的例句：108a surprised expression on ones face脸上的惊讶表情(Longman词典。Face 被用于本意。)109laugh in sbs face当面嘲笑某人(英汉大词典。In sbs face, 引申为openly的意思)110He wouldnt be so rude to her face他不会当面对她无礼。（Oxford词典。To sbs face, 引申为openly的意思）（10）你的心过去是苦的，你怎么能闻到红叶的香味?我也不十分清楚你今天的生活，可是你看，这么大年纪的一位老人，爬起山来不急，也不喘，好像不快，我们可总是落在后边，跟不上。译文1 With so much suffering , how could you have had the leisure to detect the leafs fragrance? I know little, too, of your present life, but you could walk up the hill easily without breathing hard while we had trouble catching up with you.译文2 In the past your heart was bitter, so how could you smell the fragrance of the red leaves? I am not so clear about your life today, but such an old man as you, while climbing, you neither walk fast nor are short of breath. You seem to be not so quick in your steps, and no matter how hard we tried, we