新视野大学英语4_Unit5_SectionB课件.ppt

Roommateconflicts Doyourememberhim Asisknowntous hewascalledMaJiajue whokilledfourdormitoryschoolmate ThetestamentofMaJiajue马加爵的遗书 Whatpain whattrouble andwhatahardlifeIcanendure Othersdespiseme Icantoleratediscrimination Butseveralslightlybetterclassmatesofmine actuallysoruthlesslytrampleandtornmydignity Originallyeachpersonhaslongbeensuchadiscriminationagainstme Theycruellylaughatme Infact IadmitIamasensibleperson Ithinkbackandforthtomyselfforaverylongtimetodecidetodoso ItIsnotamomentaryimpulse 什么苦楚什么贫苦什么艰辛的生活我可以忍受其他人歧视蔑视我我也可以忍受可是我这几个平时稍微好点的同学竟然这样残酷无情的践踏 蹂躏我的人格尊严原来每个人长期以来一直这样凶悍的歧视我残忍的嘲笑我其实我承认我还是一个理智的人我思前想后很长时间才会决定这样做的决不是一时的冲动 Fromthistragedy wearedeeplyawareofandbetweentheimportanceofdormitoryschoolmategetalong Nationalconflicts Nowadays wearelivingonoursafemotherland Doyouknowwhatnationalconflictsmean Itmeanswar Thedangerofwar Warbringpeopleintoaterribleworld Itdestroyspeople shousesandbreaksthousandsoffamiliesatthemeantime Althoughthedestructivepowerofroommateconflictsislessdangerthanthenationalone weshouldnotunderestimateitandweoughttohaveawellunderstandingofit Thefirstquestion Whydowehaveroommateconflictsinourdormitory Weknowthatroommateconflictsarecommonincollegedormitories butwhy Roommateconflictshavearelationshipwithpeople spersonalities Ifpersonalitiesdon tmix roommateconflictisalwaysroundusanddisturbourstudies Forexample Awantstohavearestandsleepforawhile butBjustturnsuphissoundsystemloudly Cpreferstoeatstrongsmellingbeancurdordurian butDcan tbearthesmellytaste WhileEwantstokeepthedormitoryclean Fusuallythrowtherubbishonthefloorandnevercleanthedorm Thesecondquestion Howtoavoidroommateconflicts Tips Everyonewantstoliveinapeacedormitoriesinsteadofabattlefield However howshouldweavoidroommateconflicts BepolitetoyourroommatesunderstandandtolerateyourroommatesHelpeachotherandgetalongwellwiththemperspectivetaking 换位思考 Thelastquestion Howtodealwithroommateconflicts Onceroommateconflictshappen whatshouldwedo CalmdownSelf criticismApologizeHaveabigmealtogetherUnderstanding 在宿舍里大家朝夕相处 关系也在随时发生微妙的变化 这是很正常的事情 关系太紧密有时也会容易受伤 关系太疏远又会感到孤独无助 故恰到好处地与室友保持一点心灵距离 对人对己都有好处 有一句话说得好 如果感到自己受了伤害 那并不是别人伤害了我们 而是自己的愿望伤害了自己 比如 我希望某个人喜欢我 但实际上他却对我不好 我就会感到受了伤害 如果一个我不在乎的人 对于他对我的态度 我没有任何期待 所以无论他怎么对我 都不会跟我的希望发生冲突 所以我也不会受到他的伤害 既然伤害都是由于自己的愿望造成的 那我们减少受伤害的方法之一就是把对别人的希望降低到最低点 你能不能做到呢 把希望更多地寄托在自己身上 改变自己 调整看人的心态和行为 宿舍关系就会容易相处了 Inthedormitory webetogethermorningandnight relationsarereadytohavethesubtlechange thisisverynormalthing Tooclosesometimeseasilyhurt toodistantandwillfeellonelyandhelpless Therefore bejustperfectwitharoommatetokeepalittledistance isgoodforpeopletooneself Thereisafamoussaying ifyoufeelhurt itdoesnothurtourpeople buttheirdesiretohurtmyself Forexample Ihopesomeonelikeme butinfactheisnotgoodforme Iwillfeelhurt IfonepersonIdonotcare forhisattitudetome Ididnotknowwhattoexpect sonomatterwhathedidtome andIhopewillnotconflict soIwon tbehisinjury Sincethedamagewasduetotheirdesiretocause thatwereducethehurtisonemethodthatisthehopeofothersreducedtothelowestpoint Canyoudothat Thehopethatmorerelyonyourself changeyourself adjustpeople smentalityandbehavior thedormitoryrelationswillbeeasytogetalongwith Inaddition withdormitoryrelationcan tgiveoneselfovertoblindemotions shouldhavethespiritof todo principleofcontradictionandconflict PsychologistRees srational emotivetherapy thatmakespeoplesadandpainfulthantheeventitself butonthethingsofincorrectinterpretationandevaluation Emotionalnatureisakindofattitude Ourbadmoodorisnotadaptto inthefinalanalysisismadeofirrationalbeliefbrings Forexample hearorseesomebadwordsorbehaviorofothers andamouththatsomeoneisnotagoodman andhavehatedhim she mood Thisideaisnotrational performanceinovergeneralization excessivegeneralization justasthecoverofabooktojudgeitsquality Irrationalbeliefsaretypicalfeatures aoneorafewthingstoevaluatetheirownoranother soverallvalue Onethingdidnotsucceedtodo orself denial inferiorZiqi produceanxietyordepression orblindlyblameothers angerandhostilitymood Therefore reasonablebeliefis toevaluateaperson sspecificbehaviorandperformance ratherthantotheevaluationofaperson Processingandconflictresolutionto onthewrongthings Also handlethedormitoryrelationsisveryimportant mutualunderstanding Tounderstandothers willbecarefullytoeachotherthewaytotreateachother andnotaccordingtoyourmostprobablyitdidnotactuallyhappenandhopetotreateachother 另外 处理宿舍关系不能感情用事 应本着 对事不对人 的原则处理矛盾和冲突 心理学家艾里斯的合理情绪疗法认为 使人们难过和痛苦的不是事件本身 而是对事情的不正确解释和评价 情绪本质上就是一种态度 我们的不良情绪或者说是不适应 归根到底是由不理性的信念带来的 比如 听到或看到别人的一些不良言语或行为 便一口认定某人不是个好人 进而产生讨厌他 她 的情绪 这种想法就不理性 表现在以偏概全 过分概括化 就好像以一本书的封面来判断它的好坏一样 不理性信念的典型特征是 以某一件或某几件事来评价自身或他人的整体价值 一件事没做成功 要么自我否定 自卑自弃 产生焦虑或抑郁情绪 要么一味地责备别人 产生愤怒和敌意的情绪 因此 合理信念是 评价一个人的具体行为和表现 而不是去评价一个人 处理和解决矛盾冲突要 对事不对人 还有 处理好宿舍关系很重要的一条是 相互理解 要做到理解他人 就要做到用心以对方所期望的方式来对待对方 而不是根据自己的想当然和希望来对待对方 Thankyouforwatching Andtherearesomewordsforyou mayyoucanbenefitfromthem Pleaseseethefollowing 1 Withothersoftheirownbadmannertoothers