虚拟语气在写作中的提分技巧 作文练习评讲

欣赏下列两个语段 并指出它们的技巧1 Briefasthepassageis itstillarousesmyendlessimaginationtothepasttime WereIinthepast IwouldlikethatIstayedinBritaininthe19thcentury whereandwhentheRevolutionofIndustrywasflourishing Withtheinspiringatmosphereofthecreativetimes Iwouldtrymyutmosttodomyfavoritescientificexperiment sinceIhavegreatinterestinscience What smore thescientificloverswouldbeinvitedtojoinmylittleclubtoinventsomebrand newinventionsandcreatenewdesignsofourdailylife sproducts cooperatingtoputthetheorywelearnedfrombookstoourpracticallife InthiswayIcouldgetinspirationofwisdomandresourcefulnesstobringconvenienceandimprovementstoourlife 2 ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance Firstly Iwouldteachmymoderntheoryandknowledgetothegovernors instructingthemtofightagainsttheenemiesandconstructpowerfularmies Secondly allthecitizenswouldbecalledontounitetogetherandresistothercountries invasionbravely What smore joiningsomeanti invaderspartieswouldalsobemychoice 亮点句型写作指导 除了虚拟语气外 有许多亮点句型可以应用到写作中 增分添彩 比喻 AistoBwhatCistoD Likethesunshine kindnesscanhelpthoseintrouble Kindnessislikethelighthouse whichcandirectthewayforthosewhoareindimsituation 排比 IfIcouldgobacktothepastanddotheabovementionedthings thelastthingmygrandparememberedwouldnotbetheindifferenceandthebackofhisbelovedgrandson IfIcouldtravelbackthroughtime thelastmemorybetweenhimandmewouldnotbehisclosedeyesandthedeadlookofhalf unconscioussuffering Thennow Iwouldnothavetolivewiththisunbearableregretandpainfortherestofmylife IfonlyIcould 倒装 赢在写作P37 38 Simpleasthestoryis Heregoesthesayingthat Onlywhen canwe Onlyinthisway canweOnlybydoing canwe Onlyafterdoingsth canweOnthewestoftheschoolliesapond wheremanyfishareswimming Undernocircumstanceshouldwe 类似的用法 Never Bynomeans onnoaccount innoway atnotimeshouldI Hardly scarcelyhadIgotintotheroomwhenitbegantorain nosooner than Haditnotbeenforherstickingtobeingontime shewouldn thaveearnedherselfawell paidjobandmoreimportantlybuiltupanimageofreliabilityandintegrity 倒装 ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance 亮点写作的注意事项 1 过多的亮点 显得堆砌对策 亮点分布 尽量首句2 亮点单一 例如全段排比或比喻对策 最好总 排比 总的结构 照顾段落的完整性 3 华而不实 不重视内容 徒有框架没有内容对策 先想内容 再想修辞手法4 过多注重运用亮点 没有注意谋篇 顾此失彼对策 谋好篇 定好每点行数 才能下笔 亮点句型写作训练练习 1 说明挫折的意义2 你怎样看待老师对学生的影响 3 说说你对母爱的理解4 谈谈决心对人的影响 使用虚拟语气写作的注意事项 1 确定到底要不要 虚 2 确定到底使用哪个时态的 虚 3 所谓 一虚到底 其实是指在该假设情境中的虚拟的时态的一致性 而非一定是通段都使用虚拟 一切要看情况进行选用 说说挫折的意义 1 Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis itisofsignificanceinourlife Astheoldsayinggoes stormmakestreestakedeeperroots withoutfrustration nevercouldwegrowupasastrong willedperson Werewesurroundedbyover praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm urgingusnottostopattheso calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles frustrationcouldbeaphilosopher sstone 魔法石 withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestrongerInaword lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain 说说挫折的意义 2 Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch Withoutsetback ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance Withoutsetback ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess 老师对学生的影响 1 Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife students lifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness Withoutteachers thelaboriousengineersofoursoul students personalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped Withoutteachers theladderwithselflessdevotion ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature Withoutteachers thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture 老师对学生的影响 2 Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture Withouttheknowledgeableteachers neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry 母爱的理解 1 Withoutmaternalaffection wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare Withoutthisever lastingemotion neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness 母爱的理解 2 Maternalloveislikeacircle Ithasnobeginningandnoending Butformotherhood wewouldbethelittlestrayedlambswhosteponthemistakentrack Butformotherhood nevercanwebeenvelopedinwarmthandmerrimentbyapatchofsunlight Butformotherhood wecouldbeoverwhelmedbyendlessdarknessandtheworldwouldfadefromcolorfulandwonderfultodimandcold 决心的影响 1 Determinationisthefuelofships withoutwhich nevercouldwearriveattheshoreofsuccess Determinationisthewalkingstickoftheclimber s withoutwhich nevercouldwereachthepeakoflife Determinationistheverycondition withoutwhich nevercouldwegetridofthedarkdepthofdepression 决心的影响 2 Withoutthefirmdetermination nevercouldindividualsgrowintostrongtreesstrugglinginthewindandrain Withoutthesteadfastmind nevercouldteamsunitetogethertocreatemiracle Withouttheunswervingresolution nevercouldcountriesuniteandfightfortheflourishingandbrightfutureaswellasaharmoniousworld 说说挫折的意义 1 Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis 倒装 itisofsignificanceinourlife Astheoldsayinggoes stormmakestreestakedeeperroots 名言 withoutfrustration nevercouldwegrowupasastrong willedperson 虚拟 Werewesurroundedbyover praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm urgingusnottostopattheso calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles frustrationcouldbeaphilosopher sstone 魔法石 withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestronger 虚拟 排比 非限制性定从 Inaword lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain 总结部分可以用现在时 说说挫折的意义 2 Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch 倒装 Withoutsetback ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance Withoutsetback ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess 虚拟反说 比喻 排比 老师对学生的影响 1 Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife students lifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness Withoutteachers thelaboriousengineersofoursoul students personalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped Withoutteachers theladderwithselflessdevotion ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature Withoutteachers thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture 虚拟反说 排比 老师对学生的影响 2 Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture Withouttheknowledgeableteachers neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry 虚拟反说 排比 母爱的理解 1 Withoutmaternalaffection wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare Withoutthisever lastingemotion neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness 虚拟反说 排比 母爱的理解 2 Maternalloveislikeacircle Ithasnobeginningandnoending 比喻 多一句进行补充说明 使得比喻更具体形象 Butformotherhood wewouldbethelittl