新成长的烦恼第二季10.doc

GORDO:Hey, guys.MIRANDA:( grunts )GORDO:Ooh, a gruntand a locker slam.That can onlymean one thing-somebodys gota book report?LIZZIE:Ugh.MIRANDA:We have to write five pageson The Red Pony.LIZZIE:Yeah, theres a red pony.It belongsto a little boyit dies and the end.How are wesupposed to writefive pages about that?GORDO:Double spaceand use wide margins?Well, youve got PE next.You dont havehomework in that.LIZZIE:Uh, yeah, we just have to takea shower in front of 200 girlsthat do nothing but judge.MIRANDA:Yeah, and thatsjust plain fun.You know, I reallydont feel like going.Maybe Ill just tellCoach Kelly Im sickand get out of it.LIZZIE:Whoa, look whos the rebelgirl all of a sudden.GORDO:Dont ditch PE.You love volleyball.You can smash every serveand really take outyour frustrations.TOON LIZZIE:Yeah, volleyball.Thats it.2. INTERIOR SCHOOL - PE CLASS - DAYMR DIG: Hey, guys.Im filling in for Coach Kellyfor a few weeks.Instead of volleyball,we are going to learnthe gentle art of.dance.( melodramatic music plays )TOON LIZZIE:Doh. -THEME SONG-* If you believe * Weve got a picture-perfect plan * Weve got you fooled * Cause we only do the best we can * And sometimes we make it * And sometimes we fake it * But we get one step closer each and every day * Well figure it out on the way. INTERIOR SCHOOL - PE CLASS - DAYMR. DIG:Now you might find ita little weirdto study dance in PE.But dance is avery healthfulphysical activity.GORDO:Mr. Dig teaches History.He teaches English.He has no businessteaching us dance.MR. DIG:Okay, everybody, watch this.( smooth jazz music playing )Jazz, jazz, jazz hands.Cha頽, cha頽, cha頽, leap.Jazz hands.MIRANDA: (to GORDO)You know, for a smart guyyoure wrong, like,90 percent of the time.GORDO:Well, I was right aboutVice Principal Kaplans toupee.( popping, boing )LIZZIE:Eww!MR. DIG:Okay, Mr. Gordon.GORDO:Wha. me.?MR. DIG:Do exactly what I did.You will be graded. Go.GORDO:( grunting )MR. DIG:Im just messing with you.( chuckling )You have to trustyour dance partner.And what better wayto build that trustthan catching each otherwhen you fall?So, pick a partner you trust.MIRANDA: (to LIZZIE)Partner.GORDO:( bell dings )Hey, Beth.want to be partners?BETH:Okay.( pennywhistle toots )( buzzer sounds )MIRANDA:He picked Beth Ludberg.LIZZIE:Why would he pick her?MR. DIG:Okay, positions, everyone.LIZZIE: (to MIRANDA)My life is in your hands.MR. DIGAnd. fall.( yelps )( boing )( Gordo grunts )4. INTERIOR MCGUIRE HOME - DAYMATT: Hey, its greatto see you again.Youre looking terrific.JO:Well, thank you.MATT: So, tell uswhat have youbeen up to?JO:Well, I went to the nurserythis morningand I bought some marigolds.And I planted them in the yard.MATT:So tell us, what was it likeworking with the marigolds?JO:Oh.you have to bereally carefulof the root ballcause otherwisethey can die.MATT:So you were saying it was nobed of roses.( rimshot )( chuckles )Oh.LANY:( laughing )MATT:So. any truthto the rumor that youand Sam McGuireare more than.shall we say, just friends?Now be totally honest.JO:Well. weve been marriedfor 15 years.Whats this about?MATT:Were interviewing you.Lanny got a webcamfor his birthdayso were startingour own talk showon the Internet.We premiere tonight.JO:Well, I think thats great.And I would loveto be a guest.( boing )MATT:Oh, got our signals crossed.You see, were onlypracticing on you.Youre not really what ourtarget audience is looking for.( deflating whistle )( boing ) INTERIOR MALL STORE - DAYGORDO:Ive decided to not getthe leotard for dancing.Im thin, and I have a big head.If I put ona pair of white tightsIll look likea Tootsie Pop with hair.LIZZIE:Quit staring-you knowyou want some.This sign knows meway too well.MIRANDA:All right.Hey, I want some.GORDO:Maybe I should change my look.MIRANDA:I didnt knowyou had a look, Gordo.GORDO:Maybe I should get a look.(trying on sunglasses)How about this?Excuse me, maamIm with the Presidentssecurity detail.Please clear the area.LIZZIE:Uh, I dontthink so, Gordo.GORDO:How about these?Ciao.I am Aldo.Come on and ride-awith me on my Vespa.Well eat gelatiin the moonlight.LIZZIE:Keep trying, Gordo.GORDO:( rap music playing )Yo, my name is P-Diddy.How areyou ladies doingthis fine day?( record scratches )MIRANDA:You know what, Im justgoing to go over thereand check thelipsticks, yeah.LIZZIE:Yeah.( boing )MIRANDA:You know, flavored lipsticksare getting so out of hand.Now they havemochaccino.LIZZIE:Ill takea decaf, please.TOON LIZZIE:Thanks, folks.Ill be in Atlantic Citytill the 23rd.MIRANDA:Uh, Lizzielets just grabthe tightsand go beforeGordo over there.( camera shutter clicking )MIRANDA: (cont).turns into Tom Cruise.LIZZIE:Dont be in sucha rush, Miranda.We just got here.( ominous march plays )GUARD:Excuse me, miss.Would you mind openingyour bag, please?MIRANDA:What?Why?GUARD:Just open it,please.MIRANDA:No.LIZZIE:What is going on here?Its about yourfriend herestealing lipstick.MIRANDA:Okay, thats crazycause I didntsteal anything.GUARD:I saw you knock overthe lipstick rack.And I dont thinkyou put them all back.MIRANDA:Okay, I did not takeany of your lipsticks, I.Okay, thatsone of your lipsticksbut I bought it here,like, last week.GUARD:Then how come it looks new?MIRANDA:Maybe cause I haventused it yet.I haventfinishedmy decaf mochaccinolipstick yet.Come on, Lizzie, you werewith me when I bought it.LIZZIE:I dont think I was.MIRANDA:You were outsidegetting a pretzelbut we wereat the mall together.GUARD:Right.Im going to have to askyou to come with me.LIZZIE:B-But she.GUARD:Hey.I suggest youstay out of thisunless youwant to come, too.Go.GORDO:Sir.Im putting these back.Im not taking them.INTERIOR MCGUIRE HOME - GARAGE - DAYMATT:Okay, you lookat the camera thereand the monitor showshow many people are watching.The more dots,the more people.Okay, we start in a minute.So go outside over there,and come in, then sit downand well talkabout your dad.Hey, and welcometo Matt After Dinner.Im here withmy councilman of cool-the one, the only.Lanny Onasis, everybody.( applause )Okay, our first guestis Jackson Myerswhose father isthe one and only Mike Myers.Very groovy, baby.I bet hes got a millioninteresting stories to tell usso lets bring him out.Jackson Myers, everybody.( dinging )So, Jacksontell us.is your dad going to starin another Austin Powers sequel?JACKSON:Why would he?( boing )MATT:Because hes Mike Myers-the actor who playsAustin Powers?JACKSON:Uh-uh.Hes Mike Myers,the dry cleaner.They havethe same name.MATT:Dry cleaner?( dinging )( deflating whistle )MATT:Okay, its been greathaving you.( chuckles nervously )Lanny, weve got20 minutes to fill.Were losing audience.We need a guest.SAM:Hey, guys.MATT:I know, Lanny,but hes better than nothing.Hey, uh, Dad?Can youplease be interviewed?SAM:No problem.MATT:So I see youve broughtsomething interestingto show us.So what is that crazy stuff?SAM:Uh, its grease.Im going to greasethe lawnmower, son.MATT:Are you going to run amok?Charge all over the neighborhoodmowingeverything down?SAM:No. No, Im just goingto trim the side yard.You know, its gettingkind of shaggy.And thats, uh.thats a difficult jobso, you know, thats whatIm planning on doing.MATT:( chuckling )( dinging )SAM:What?I got something on my face?MATT:( laughing )Look at the monitor.SAM:What, I got somethingon my face?Yeah, what?Son.MATT: Im so sorry, Dad.SAM:I mean, come on.Im trying to dolawn mowing and stuff.( boing, whistle toots )SAM:What areyou doing?( dinging )MATT:Dad. Dad,were a hit!SAM:( sputters )Give me that.7. INTERIOR MCGUIRE HOME - LIZZIES ROOM - DAYLIZZIE:What do you thinktheyll do to her?GORDO:I dont know.Shopliftingsa serious crime.Id say somewherebetweena $500 fineand, uh, bustingup rockson a steamy back roadin Mississippi.LIZZIE:( moans )TOON LIZZIE:I like the exerciseand being out in the sunbut these dungareescut me across the hips.( telephone beeping )LIZZIE:Hello?SPLIT SCREEN MIRANDAS ROOM / LIZZIES ROOM - DAYMIRANDA:Im home.LIZZIE:( sighs ):Thats such a relief.GORDO:Whatd she say?Did they fine her? How much?MIRANDA:My parents finally cameand got me.They stood up for me.LIZZIE:Thats lucky.GORDO:Is it goingto be all right?MIRANDA:Well, its not lucky.They shouldstand up for me.LIZZIE:Well, yeah,of course.I meanif you didnt do it.MIRANDA:What do you mean,if I didnt do it?Of course I didnt do it.I mean.You. you dobelieve me, right?LIZZIE:Um. sure.MIRANDA:You said, Um, sure.You didnt say Sure,you said, Um, sure.Y-You dont believe me!LIZZIE:Well.GORDO:Is it goingto be all right?LIZZIE:Miranda. you did takeall that candy.And you were atthe lipstick rackand then you just wantedto leave so quicklyand it wasin your purse.MIRANDA:And I told youwhy it was.LIZZIE:Yeah, but, Mirandathe security guardsaid that he saw you.What am I supposedto believe?MIRANDA:Well, youre supposedto believe meand you dont.Thanks for beingsuch a lousy friend.INTERIOR SCHOOL - PE CLASS - DAYLIZZIE:Gordo, shouldntyou be stretching?GORDO:Oh, um. there.LIZZIE:How can you beso casual about this?Gordo, youre gettingready to go upand do a routine.Arent you afraidyoull flunk?GORDO:Im sure itll be fine.LIZZIE:I wish I could saythe same thing about Miranda.I mean, she hasnteven spoken to me.GORDO:Well, Miranda can be abit unreasonable at times.LIZZIE:How can yousay that, Gordo?I practically accused herof stealing.GORDO:Well, yeah, you did kindof hang her out to dry.LIZZIE:How can yousay that, Gordo?!Just because I doubted herfor one single second?I mean, the lipstickwas in her purse.GORDO:Youre right.The evidence was there.LIZZIE:How can yousay that, Gordo?!Miranda is my best friendand I should knowthat she doesnt steal.GORDO:Whose side do youwant me to be on here-yours or. yours?LIZZIE:Im sorry.I know thatI let Miranda downand I didnt mean to.And now shes callingme a bad friend.You know,shes letting me down.GORDO:Give it time.Itll blow over.Im sure everythingsgoing to be cool.MIRANDA:Mr. DigId like another partner,please.LIZZIE:Uh.( sighs )You knowfor a smart guy,you sure geta lot of stuff wrong.GORDO:Yeah, what areyou gonna do?MR. DIG:Okay, listen up.Miss Sanchez feelsthat shecan no longerwork with her partnerso were going to shufflethe deck a little, okay?Cassie Pang,youre with Mirandaand Miss McGuire,youre with Ethan Craft.TOON LIZZIE:Miranda wants to playit this way, fine.Ill fallinto Ethan Crafts arms.( yells )MR. DIG:Everyone, trust exercise.TOON LIZZIE:This is working out all right.( chuckling )MR. DIG:And. fall.( bird screeches )ETHAN:Whoa.Theres a hawkwith a mouse out there.( pennywhistle toots, thud )TOON LIZZIE:( moaning ):Maybe. this isntworking out so good.Cant move.Oh, in pain.Oh, that hurts.INTERIOR MCGUIRE HOME - GARAGE - DAYMATT:Hey, and welcometo Matt After Dinner.Now, I know whatyoure thinking, Lannycause you ask meevery night.What did I havefor dinner tonight?I had three sauerkrautchili dogs and a root beer.( loud belch )I know you thinkwere goingfor the cheap laughs,Lanny, but lookat the green lights.This stuff sells.SAM:Hey, guys.MATT:Hey, look, itsa surprise guest.Its Dad.What you gotthere, Dad?SAM:Well, son.I have a boxfull of feathersa few dozenwhoopie cushionsand someold maple syrup.Im workingon a project.MATT:Well, let megive you a hand.SAM:Oh, son, no.Dont take that.MATT:Oh!SAM:Give that backto me, son.MATT:Let me. no.SAM:Son, no!Oh, my gosh!Uh-oh. Oh, gee whiz.MATT:Look whatyouve done now.SAM:Oh, my goodness.Uh-oh. Oh boy, oh boy.MATT:Aw, Dad, you andyour projects.SAM:I know, son.I just never learn.( bell dings )MATT:Lanny, you cantwalk out.You and your preciousdignity.Youre just jealousyou arent the star.Youll be sorry.Youre missing outon the big time!( whoopie cushion squishes ) INTERIOR SCHOOL - PE CLASS - DAY( bell dinging quickly )( cool jazz music playing )MR. DIG:Okay, time to. bust a move.And this timeyou will be graded.First up-David Gordonand Beth Ludberg.LIZZIE:Good luck.TOON LIZZIE:Looking back on itthey might have been smartjust to practice thatat least, like.ooh, once.( music Waltz of the Flowers playing )( music building to finale )( piece ends )GORDO:And we thank you.(to LIZZIE)Beths mom made hertake ballet sinceshe was eight.I knew shedmake me look good.Shes got the footwork-Ive got the flair.MR. DIG:Okay, next.Mirandas partner,Cassie Panghas whooping cough.And Ethan Craftspotted a cloud he thoughtlooked like a donkeyand ran face firstinto a beehive.He shant bejoining us today.So I am forced to reinstatethe team of Sanchez and McGuire.MIRANDA:( scoffs )TOON LIZZIE:What?!Id rather be run overby a herd of elephants.( trumpeting )Okay, I take that back.( Greek music playing )MR. DIG:All right, since you alldidnt rehearseIm going to letyou improvise.Let your feelings out.( cat screeches )MIRANDA:Im surprised youd trust meto be your partner.LIZZIE:Yeah, well,Im surprisedyoud partnerwith a lousy friend.MIRANDA:Oh, yeah?Well, a good friendwould have stuck upfor me.LIZZIE:Oh!Well youre not littlemiss perfect, okay?Youre always talkingabout how you sneakinto the moviesand how you pretendto be sick during PE.MIRANDA:Oh, yeah?Well, I dont play sickjust to get outof Larry Tugmans birthday.Does that make you a thief?( screams )LIZZIE:No!But it doesnt make mea lousy friend either.MIRANDA:Yeah? Well I.!MR. DIG:Ladies.I dont want to hearany talking.I want to see some action.No, thats too much action.( screaming and grunting )( all shouting )MR. DIG:Retreat to neutral corners!INTERIOR MCGUIRE HOME - GARAGE - DAYMATT:This ought tohelp thingsgrow back.SAM:( in German accent ):But what aboutthese gophers in my pants?( bell dinging )SAM:Oh, hey, special guest,Lizzie, my daughter.Honey, why dont youcome over hereand say hito the audience.MATT:Come on over, Lizzie.LIZZIE:Id love toexcept foryou know, I have to go sitin the kitchen and watchthe chickendefrost.MATT:My sister, folks.I dont want to sayshe smells like feet.but.( phone ringing )LIZZIE:Hello?Hello?No ones there.MATT:It must be Lanny.LIZZIE:Oh.MATT:Make it quick, Lanny.Im on the air.What? But you workedon that projectfor twowhole days.Okay, Ill beright over.Maybe we canfix it.(to SAM)Okay, you can handlethe closing monologue.I need to gohelp Lanny.SAM:Wait, whats up?MATT:Well, a coupleof his dads peacocksate his historydiorama, and Ive gotto go help him fix it.SAM:Okay.LIZZIE:Uh, Matt?I thoughtyou were mad at Lanny.MATT:I am.But hes my friend.He needs meto have his back.LIZZIE:Oh, well, uh, didnt he walkright off your show?MATT:So? My friend needs me.Thats it.Case closed.No questions asked.SAM:Thats my boy.LIZZIE:Oh.TOON LIZZIE:Its bad enough when my parentsteach me about lifebut when my skunkheadlittle brotheris a better friend to Lannythan Ive been to Miranda.then Ive totally hit bottom. INTERIOR SCHOOL HALLWAY/CLASSROON - DAY( bell ringing )TEACHER:Miranda, may Ispeak with you aminute, please?MIRANDA:Sure. Whats up?TEACHER:Oh,