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Making Small Talk By Kenneth Beare, A GuideMaking Small TalkThe ability to make small talk is highly valued. In fact, many English students are more interested in making effective small talk than knowing correct grammar structures - and rightly so! Small talk gets friendships started and breaks the ice before important business meetings and other events. Why is small talk difficult for some English learners?First of all, making small talk is not difficult only for English learners, but also for many native speakers of English. However, small talk can be especially difficult for some learners because making small talk means talking about almost anything - and that means having a wide vocabulary that can cover most topics. Most English learners have excellent vocabulary in specific areas, but may have difficulties discussing topics they are unfamiliar with because of a lack of appropriate vocabulary. How to Improve Small Talk Skills Find common interestsOnce you have a subject that interests both of you, keep to it! You can do this in a number of ways: talking about travel, talking about the school or friend you have in common, talking about the differences between your culture and the new culture (just be careful to make comparisons and not judgments, i.e., The food in our country is better than the food here in England). ListenThis is very important. Dont get so worried about being able to communicate that you dont listen. Listening carefully will help you understand and encourage those speaking to you. You might be nervous, but letting others state their opinions will improve the quality of the discussion - and give you time to think of an answer! Stay away from religion/strong political beliefsWhile you may believe in something very strongly, beginning conversations and making small talk about your own personal convictions may abruptly end the conversation. Keep it light, dont try to convince the other person that you have the correct information about a higher being, political system or other belief system.Here is a list of common small talk subjects. If you have difficulties speaking about any of these topics, try to improve your vocabulary by using the resources available to you (Internet, magazines, teachers at school, etc.) Sports - current matches or games, favorite teams, etc. Hobbies Weather - boring, but can get the ball rolling! Family - general questions, not questions about private matters Media - films, books, magazines, etc. Holidays - where, when, etc. but NOT how much! Home town - where do you come from, how is it different/similar to this town Job - once again, general questions not too specific Latest fashion and trends Celebrities - any gossip you may have!Here is a list of topics that probably arent very good for small talk. Of course, if you are meeting a close friend these topics may be excellent. Just remember that small talk is generally discussion with people you dont know very well. Salary - how much do you make? - Thats none of your business! Politics - wait to you get to know the person better Intimate relationships - only for you and your partner - or maybe your best friend Religion - tolerance is the key! Death - we need to face it, but not the first time we meet someone new Financial - related to salary above, most people prefer to keep financial information to themselves Sales - Dont try to sell something to someone you have just met. How to Make Small Talk How to Talk to PeopleBy Cherie Burbach, A GuidePart of developing a new friendship is making small talk, or initiating a conversation using basic topics that are safe to talk about with someone you dont know yet. Making small talk might sound tedious to some people, but it is an important tool in learning about others. Conversation that starts out small leads to other topics where potential friends find out things they may have in common.Making small talk is definitely an art, but the upside is that the more you do it, the better youll be at it. Finding the right topics to bring up is just as important as the ease in which you converse.Tips for Making Small Talk Work for You Keep up on current topics, such as news items, TV shows, or recent movies. It may take several conversations before you bond with someone. Dont expect to become fast friends just because youve connected over small talk. Avoid controversial subjects. Be yourself. Dont crack jokes or act like an expert on a certain subject just to impress someone. Dont worry about your performance. If you talk with a few people and they dont seem interested, just keep moving on to someone else.One Good Strategy: Things Going on Around YouCommenting on the events right before your eyes is an easy way to make small talk, but be sure to look for clues in the responses you get that will move the conversation forward. Ask questions as you observe the people and activities going on and youll have a better time finding common ground. For example, Isnt this a great event? We come here every year, since our kids were little. What about you? What brings you here? This question gives some facts about you that the listener can pick up on and also invites them to share more about themselves.Small talk subjects often include the weather or what you do for a living, but another strategy is to talk about something around you. You might try a simple introduction by way of ice breaker (Hi. Im Julie.), coupled with a question about the event, such as: This is a great party. How do you know Kathy, our host? Gail is a beautiful bride, isnt she? How do you know the couple? What a fabulous day for a picnic! How long have your worked for XYZ Company?Approach Someone at a social eventWhen going to a party or event, look for others who are on their own or standing by themselves. It will be easier to approach someone else (who may be in the same shoes you are) rather than trying to work your way into a group.Small Talk With Strangers Ice Breakers for Chatting With New PeopleBy Cherie Burbach, A GuideSmall talk changes slightly when youre with strangers as opposed to people at a business function or party. Strangers, in this case, refers to people you dont know who you see out and about somewhere in the course of your daily routine. Since you dont know a thing about them, choose general subjects that allow anyone to comment on.Whats the benefit to chatting with strangers? It gives you practice for those times in life (like first dates or important business functions) where youll need to make a really great impression. If youre used to talking with people on a routine basis, you wont be tripped up when youre nervous. Also, as Will Rogers once said, A stranger is just a friend I havent met yet. You never know how friendships will develop, so its a good idea to be prepared to make the most of any opportunity.Here are some ice breakers that work well with strangers.Comment on Something in the NewsAvoid topics like politics, sex, or religion, as those topics are more suited for conversation between friends. Instead, bring up a popular subject that has been getting a lot of play in the news. Its a good idea to read the paper or go online to check out the latest newsworthy topics before you leave the house so youre prepared with something to say.Compliment an Accessory ItemAnother tactic to open up small talk is to compliment the accessories someone is wearing: jewelry, glasses, purse, shoes, watch, tie, clothing, pins, etc. Avoid making a comment about someones clothing as it can come off as if youre acting weird or hitting on him or her. Making a genuine comment about an accessory is much more acceptable.Ask About Their PhoneEveryone seems to have a cell phone, computer, or other gadget on hand these days, so ask someone if they are using an iPhone or Bluetooth headset and how they like it. Theyre likely to tell you if they would buy the same thing again or give you the name of another version they can recommend instead. People enjoy talking about their gadgets, so it wont be difficult to get them to open up.Small Talk Standby: The WeatherThe weather is often mentioned as something you should avoid when making small talk, but I think it is still a good opener with strangers, if you use some detail. Rather than say, Nice weather were having, say instead, What a warm day it turned out to be! What are you doing this afternoon? Are you able to get out and enjoy it?Or, ask them about something regarding the weather, like: I wasnt able to find out if it was going
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