英语小笑话带翻译 精选25则

1、英语小笑话带翻译 精选25则 英语小笑话带翻译 精选25则 由大文斗会员“tan4229819”投稿精心推荐，希望对你的学_工作能带来参考借鉴作用。篇1：英语小笑话带翻译1。 dad: tom， please tell me， which month has 28 daysgirl: yes， and this one will be if you sit down。男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。3。 boy: id like to call you。 whats your number palmist: yes， but i cant say in wh

2、ich。手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。5。 a cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。 coming up beside her， he said， pull over! no， she replied， a pair of socks!巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说：靠边停车(套头衫)！ 不， 她回答，是一双袜子！6。 “tom， whats the matter with your brother yes。 said t

3、om。 and he also cried when i was helping him finish that。汤姆，你弟弟怎样了？ 妈妈在厨房里问。他在哭。 没事儿，妈妈， 汤姆答道。我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我 不给他吃。 他已经吃完自我的了么？ 是的。 我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。7。 a husband， proving to his wife that women talk more than men， showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day， whereas w

4、omen use 30000 words a day。 she thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say。 he said， what onec or twice haveyou tested him already”买主说：“不必再试了，从他所选择什么样的朋友来看，我已经明白他是什么样了。”2。a mother mouse老鼠的第二语言也重要a

5、 mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when shespotted a cat crouched behind a bush。 she watched the cat， andthe cat watched the mice。mother mouse barked fiercely， woof， woof， woof! the catwas so terrified that it ran for its life。mother mouse turned to her babies and said， now， do youun

6、derstand the value of a second languagethe first inmate said， god told me!just then， a voice from another room shouted， i did not!一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：我是拿破仑!另一个说：你怎样明白保育员：约翰尼，你难道不喜欢你的小妹妹吗母亲问她年幼的儿子：“宝贝，今日教师教了你些什么the lieutenant explained， this ignoramus(无知的人) failed to salute me。 im making his salute one

7、hundred times as a punishment。”quite right， replied the general smiling， but do not forget， sir， that upon each occasion you are to salute return。有个士兵没有注意到一个年轻的陆军中尉，没有向他敬礼。中尉很严厉地对那个士兵说：“你没有向我敬礼，所以你要立刻敬100个礼。”这时候将军过来了。他看到那个可怜的士兵就要开始敬礼时，就大声问道：“这是怎样啦her husband thought for a while and then replied: id

8、better get you a new razor and some ties， so that we may exchange presents with each other。有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。她很激动，并且急于要告诉她的丈夫。她说：“亲爱的，我买了两样东西给你做生日礼物。我此刻就要告诉你，因为我等不得到那一天才说。一件礼物是一个地垫，能够放在我的梳妆台前。另一件是一个青铜的小雕像，能够放在客厅的壁炉架上”她还说：“好啦，你准备给我买什么呢 the doctor replied， no， they are not for him。 they are for you。 you

9、 need them。有个人生病了。他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。医生在给他治疗的时候，他的妻子一向大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和坚持安静。” 然后他就留下了一些。她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。”篇7：英语小笑话带翻译frog 青蛙frog the science teacher lecturing his class in biology said， now ill show you this frog in my pocket。 he then reached into his p

10、ocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich。 he looked puzzled for a second， thought deeply， and said， thats funny。 i distinctly remember eating my lunch。教师正在给学生上生物课：“此刻，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”之后，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。教师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。”相亲 blind dateafter being with her all evening， the

11、 man couldnt take another minute with his blind date。 earlier， he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave。when he returned to the table， he lowered his eyes， put on a grim expression and said， i have some bad news。 my grandfather just died。tha

12、nk heavens， his date replied。 if yours hadnt， mine would have had to!和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地！”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！”lawyer and engineera lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the caribbean。 the lawyer said， im here bec

13、ause my house burned down， and the urance pany paid for everything。thats quite a coincidence， said the engineer。 im here because my house were destroyed by a flood， and my urance pany also paid for everything。the lawyer looked somewhat confused。 how do you start a floodwell， his wife answered at onc

14、e。 the reason is very simple。 god made us beautiful so men would love us; god made us foolish so we would marry them。一位丈夫对他的妻子说：“为什么上帝把妇女创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢？” “噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。”only one eye to settle onthe girl found the go-between and said， you cheated me ! one of

15、his eyes is not true。 why didnt you tell me this before the wife said， you may select the dish today。the husband was very glad and asked， which dishes are there todaynone。then how to select we can talkthe waiter replied with ease: nobody。 just your grandfather。一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一进饭店就大声嚷嚷：“喂，有什么好菜尽管端上来，钱多少我不

16、在乎。”服务员听了很不是滋味：“哥儿们，钱多顶个屁，你不照样得做别人的儿子，就是有人要你做孙子你也不敢不做！”年青人勃然大怒：“谁敢占老子的便宜？你说，是谁不要命了，胆敢要老子做他的孙子？”服务员慢条斯理地答道：“你爷爷！”她要买什么a store manager heard a clerk tell a customer。 no， maam， we havent had any for a while， and it doesnt look as if well be getting soon。horrified， the manager came runningover to the cu

17、stomer and said， of course， well have somesoon， we placed an order last week。 then the manager drew the clerk aside: never， never， never say we are out of anything say weve got it on order and its ing。now what was it she wanted said the second boy。just do it， isted the first。both boys broke into son

18、g， singing at the top of their lungs。 moments later， a neighbor threw open her window and shouted， keep it down! dont you know its three oclock in the morning asked the preacher。oh absolutely。 its a religious parrot， the storekeeper assures him。do you see those strings on his legsi fall off my perch

19、， you stupid fool! screeched the parrot。一个传教士在买鹦鹉“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗？”传教士问。“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗？当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”“太棒了！”传教士说，“可是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢？”“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋！”鹦鹉尖声说道。how can i get into heaven 我怎样才能上天堂if i sold my house and my car， had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor， would i get into heavenagain， the answer was， no!well， i continued， then how can i get into heaven?a five-year-old boy shouted out， you gotta be dead!“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖， 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗？”我问主日学校的孩子。孩子们齐声回答：“不能！”“那如果我每一天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天