2012届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义（北师大版）：写作（十六）

1、祝学子学业有成，取得好成绩2012届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义（北师大版）：写作（十六）去年寒假我同父亲去乡下看望奶奶，我多年未回家乡，看到那儿发生了很大的变化.这次故乡之行使我学到了不少东西。我打算今后每两年回去一次.学生习作外教批改during my last winter holiday,i went to the1countryside with my father to visit mygrandma with_my_father。2i found a_large_change great changes there。the first time i came_back3 retu

2、rned，theyare_live4 were all living in dirty homes with dogs and ducks and any5 otheanimals。now,6 but last winter when i returned， they had a_big_house_to_birth_chickens。7 they also have8 had some poles in_which_it_has9_some_fish fishponds.every year，they sell it_and_have the fish for a lot of money.

3、a lot of villagers in my grandmas village have10 had two。storeyed houses,evidencing that their life11 lives becoming better_and_better12 had improved.i felt very happy.during my trip,i found they_are13 all the villagers friendly and hard。working.i think these characteristics are worth of learning.at

4、 the end of my trip，i told my father that i had_planned14 that_i_would_come_back planned to return every two years。he admitted15 agreed that it was a good idea., 旁批1country或countryside前要加定冠词the.2注意词序。要保证你的句子不会产生歧义。原句的意思是你拜访与你父亲住在一起的祖母。3如果用come，就表示作者写此文时仍在家乡。4原句中的they are live是一个常见的错误,不符合英语的语法。这里应该用过

5、去进行时态。5你不是在说明数量，所以不必用any。6不是现在（now)，是去年冬天(last winter)。7这句的意思很不清楚,所以无法进行修改。“他们有一幢大的房子养鸡”还是“他们造了一间很大的鸡舍让鸡住？8注意保持时态一致！9这不是英语，是按中文字面翻译的。参见改写后的句子。10虽然这个情况可能现在仍是真实的，但故事发生在去年冬天，所以要用过去时态.11你谈到的是村民们，而不只是一个人，所以life需要用复数形式。12使用更直接的语言。improve比better and better更好。高中水平还使用better and better这个词组不合适。13改写后使宾语更清楚.动词fi

6、nd的结构是：find someone形容词。14如果用过去完成时态(had planned)就意味着作者不再打算这样做了。这里的打算发生在告诉父亲的同时，所以只要用一般过去时态即可。15在这里用admit不正确。它的意思是不情愿地同意某事是真实的。参见改写后的句子。虽然文章组织得当，题目要求也都在内容中体现出来，但词汇量不足以及时态的混淆降低了作文的等级。为避免这些错误，写你知道的东西。如果你不知道表达某种观点的词汇，就不要提到它。想想其他可写的东西。例如在这篇作文中，作者不应该提到池塘和鸡舍，因为他/她不清楚这些词的英文表达。他应该挑自己熟悉的东西写，或者写一些更平常的东西。高分作文秘诀之

7、九：使用恰当的过渡语.例如：表示转折关系的过渡语:however，nevertheless，on the other hand，on the contrary，conversely表示递进关系的过渡语：in addition，besides，moreover，furthermore，whats more，whats worse，to make matters worse,the most important of all，worst of all，especially，in particular，on top of that表示结果关系的过渡语：therefore，thus，consequen

8、tly，as a result，thats why.。.表示顺序关系的过渡语：firstly，secondly，thirdly,lastly/finally/eventually,last but not least,to begin with，after that,meanwhile表示总结的过渡语：in conclusion，in brief，in short，in a word，on the whole,to sum up表示个人观点的过渡语：in my opinion，as far as im concerned，personally，as for me，to be frank表示他人

9、观点的过渡语:it is widely accepted that。.；a commonly held idea is that。.；it is taken for granted that。最近,你和父母回到家乡。你看到了家乡新建的一所学校,发现它与影集中父亲的母校的照片有很大的差别。请你根据下面的一组图画，描述这两所学校的不同情况，并谈谈你的感想。注意：1词数120左右;2可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。参考范文：the two pictures show how greatly my fathers hometown has changed in the past twenty year

10、s.in the past,my fathers school was a big yard with a row of old houses。there was a flag pole standing alone in the yard.several trees were planted around the houses.there was little sports equipment in it。the new school in my fathers hometown consists of a tall building and a large playground。all kinds of sports facilities can be seen on the playground。with trees and flowers in the sch