THE TERMINATION OF RELATIONHIPS的关系的终止

1、the termination of relationshipsrelationship dissolution: how it happensupassing awayusudden deathphases of relationship dissolutionuintra-psychic phaseudyadic phaseusocial phaseugrave-dressing phasecommunicating during relationship dissolutionuwho initiates it?udistancing & disassociatingu“stra

2、tegies”causes of relationship dissolutionubreakdown in communicationuloss of shared goals/interestsudesire for independenceusexual and/or intimacy problemsurole strainumoneyuchildrenuinfidelity/loyalty issuesualcohol/drug abusedivorcedivorce factsuapproximately 50% of both first and second marriages

3、 end in divorceuusually at least one child is involveduusually it is a high stress process for all concernedcommon communication patterns during divorceureciprocity of “bad” (often petty) actsupower plays: “i win, you lose”ucommunication with children: arguing in front of them explaining about “dadd

4、y & mommy” not talking to them about whats happeninguprimary concerns/topics focus on: division of resources future relationships visitation rights & custody (if children &/or pets involved)uconstructive patterns of communication are possible and some couples manage quite well. unfortuna

5、tely, this is not the norm.jealousyuwhat is jealousy? a learned reaction to a loss or threat of loss can be real or imagineduwho is most likely to be jealous? insecure people people who have a high dependency on the relationship people who strongly support a value system involving possessiveness of

6、private property & total togetherness in relationshipsuwhat are we jealous about? time; persons; situations/opporunitiesuis jealousy always bad? mild forms of jealousy can show concern & caring for the relationship too often it involves unhealthy responses such as planning revenge; sinking i

7、nto depression; wallowing in self-pity; etc.ucoping with jealousy communicate in ways to develop self-esteem/self-confidence for yourself & your partner talk to your partner about expectations, assumptions, & feelings related to behaviors that may be associated with jealousygender & jeal

8、ousyumales becoming jealous: focus on lowered self-esteem due to negative judgment by partner ways of coping: get drunk; get aggressive; feel “turned on” by jealous situation; get angry with self; engage in rivalrous behavior with “other” man; make effort to secure another relationship inducing jeal

9、ousy: less likely than females motives: men likely to feel partners interest in another romantic partner motivated by desire for more committed relationship, sexual attraction, &/or relationship dissatisfactionufemales becoming jealous: focus on difficulty in developing another relationship if t

10、his one should end ways of coping: cry; try to make selves more attractive to partner; pretend not to care; withdraw from other relationship possibilities inducing jealousy: more likely than males motives: women likely to feel partners interest in another romantic partner is motivated by desire for

11、more sexual variety; nonsexual attractions; &/or relationship dissatisfactioninfidelitytypes of infidelityu“accidental” affairsuromantic affairsumarital arrangementsuphilandering men: worship masculinity, not intimacy women: angry at men; seek control through sexmyths about infidelityu“everybody does it”u“my affair is saving my marriage