社交课堂：12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症

1、Shyness and social anxiety are usually the result of an overly excitedamygdala(a portion of the brain that receives stimulation based on your surroundings). Individuals who are shy or socially anxious typically have an amygdala that is extremely sensitive (in part due to their genetics, in part due

2、to the way they were raised). 害羞和社交焦虑症通常都是杏仁核过度兴奋造成的现象，而杏仁核则是一种根据环境接收刺激的大脑组织。害羞或有社交焦虑症的人，杏仁核一般都非常敏感这一方面跟基因有关，另一方面则归因于他们的成长经历。Shy or socially anxious individuals perceive unknown situations as highly threatening.在害羞或社交焦虑的人看来，未知环境都是非常危险的。This feeling of being “threatened” would be beneficial if you we

3、re being chased by a lion; causing your mind to focus solely on what is critical to save your life. However, your mind “going blank” at a dinner party or when your boss walks in your office is not very beneficial. 当你被一头狮子追捕时，这种警惕感会十分有利，能让你一门心思想方设法逃命。但是，在宴会上或老板走进你办公室时，如果你的大脑还是会“一片空白”，那就不好了。So with th

4、at, lets discuss 12 ways to overcome shyness and social anxiety.所以，我们来看看下面这12个克服害羞和社交焦虑症的方法吧。12 Steps to Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症：1. Reality Check认清事实Step number one is to recognize what is taking place chemically in your brain when youre feeling anxious or shy. 第一步就是要弄清楚当你

5、感到紧张或害羞时，大脑会发生怎样的化学变化。You are not abnormal; your brain is just “unusually” sensitive to new stimuli, causing you to proceed with extreme caution usually “unnecessary caution.” Just knowing this will help you rationalize whats going on and will help relax you in future situations. 你没有“不正常”：只不过你的大脑对新刺

6、激“格外”敏感罢了，以至于你表现得特别谨慎一般都是些“不必要的谨慎”。认识到这一点有助于你理性面对正在发生的事情，进而在以后环境中做到自如放松。No need to become shy or anxious, just tell yourself that its just some chemicals and cells reacting based on a perceived threat thats not really there no need to panic (ignore the racing heart and sweaty palms) just calm down a

7、nd proceed intelligently.没必要害羞或焦虑，你只要告诉自己：这些不过是假想危险引发的化学与细胞反应罢了。也没必要惊慌，别去管那加速的心跳和冒汗的手心，尝试镇静下来并机智应对。2. Dont Ponder on Negative Thoughts不要陷入消极思维When you give a presentation theres always three presentations involved: Theres the presentation you planned on giving, theres the presentation you actually g

8、ave, and then theres the presentation you wish you gave.如果你要作报告，那么报告无非就三种形式：你正在发布的报告、你已经发布的报告，以及你打算发布的报告。When you focus on what you could have done better, when you focus on the negative, you create a cycle of negativity. After you leave a meeting, or a dinner party, or a social gathering, dont pond

9、er on how you could have been “better.” Dont think, “Why did I say that?”当你一味想着本可以做得更好时，当你只看到消极方面时，你就会形成消极循环模式。所以，会议、派对或集会结束后，请不要纠结自己本可以表现得“更出色”，也不要懊恼“刚才我干嘛要那样说？”。Everyone says something foolish from time-to-time, however, focusing on negativity will lead you to believe that you are a person who say

10、s the wrong things at social gatherings; that belief will manifest itself every time. Recognize that everyone says something foolish from time-to-time; dont ponder, move on.每个人难免都会说些蠢话，如果你只看到消极面，渐渐就会真的以为自己在社交时只会说错话；而且，这种想法每次都会应验。请记住：每个人偶尔都会说些蠢话。所以，不要纠结，该干啥就干啥去吧。3. No Pressure不要有压力Dont feel pressure

11、to be interesting, entertaining, or talkative. Just be your normal-natural self. Its the pressure to be like someone else that enhances social anxiety and shyness. 不要为了表现得风趣、讨人喜欢或健谈而感到紧张不安。做回你平常的样子就行。模仿别人的压力会加剧社交焦虑感和羞涩。You have survived participating in conversations your entire life. Your next conv

12、ersation in a group is just one more conversation you are not required to be the life of the party. Just be yourself and speak your mind when you have something to say and if you dont have anything to say no pressure; “chill out” and have fun. 你这辈子一直就是在与人谈话中成长过来的。接下来在小组中的发言实质上也是谈话而已你又不一定非得成为派对的活跃分子啊

13、。你只要做好自己，有话就说、无话则沉默；不要紧张，放松点吧。4. Dont Assume别去假想Dont assume that people are judging you. Most people are primarily concerned about themselves and how they come across; they dont have time to be consumed by your behavior. Remember this, if you dont remember anything else in this article: Everyone is

14、awkward at times! 别去假想其他人怎么看你。多数人通常只会考虑自身和自己的遭遇，没人有时间来关心你如何如何。要是这篇文章没能给你留下什么印象，那么请记住这句话：有时每个人都很难相处！When having conversations, every single person at one time or another does or says something thats a little awkward. Dont feel that awkward situations or strange silences are your fault alone. Dont tak

15、e credit for all the negatives in a conversation. Awkward things will happen, there will be silences, thats okay; its perfectly normal, dont think its not and keep on being yourself your best self.交谈时，每个人间或都会说出难堪的话来。不要一厢情愿地以为是你造成了这种尴尬的处境或别扭的沉默。不要把谈话的失败全都怪罪到自己身上。尴尬时常发生，沉默也总是出现，没什么大不了的；这很正常，不要少见多怪做好你自

16、己就行啦。5. Dont Panic Pause不要慌张稍作停顿Theres no need to panic in social situations. If someone asks you a question, just pause. Think about the question and then answer it appropriately. Most socially anxious or shy individuals react to questions. They feel the need to answer a question immediately, as so

17、on as the final word leaves the mouth of the other person; they feel obligated to start speaking not necessary. 社交场合无需慌张。要是有人向你发问，那就先停顿一下，想清楚后再恰当回答对方。大部分社交焦虑或害羞的人总是立刻回答问题。他们觉得只要对方话刚说完，就该作出回答；他们认为谈话是一种“义务”其实完全没必要这样。You never want to react to a question; you always want to respond, after you pause.你不需

18、要立即回应提问，你只需在停顿之后回答提问。When you do this, you will sound more thoughtful, more insightful, and you will have given more deliberate thought to what youre about to say. You will appear to have “executive presence.” 当你这样做时，你听上去会更有想法和见解，你的想法会显得更成熟、更具执行力。The need to respond right away shows that a person is

19、nt comfortable with silence. Its usually the least “powerful” person in a conversation who doesnt want there to be silence, but silence is okay. It shows that you are comfortable in your skin. 立即回应则显得一个人不习惯沉默。通常，谈话中最没有气场的人也最不习惯沉默，其实沉默也没什么。它说明你能够做到悠然自若。So learn to pause, never panic! Gather your thou

20、ghts, avoid saying “um” and answer like the intelligent person that you are.所以，学会停顿，不要慌张！整理好思绪，改掉“嗯啊”，像机智的人那样去回答问题吧。6. Body Language肢体语言Your physiology will determine your psychology.你的生理能决定你的心理。Avoid having the body language of someone who is shy and/or timid. Dont haunch over and try not to be seen. 不要染上害羞或胆怯的人的肢体语言。不要缩手缩脚躲起来。Stand tall, shoulders back. People will believe the body language you portray more than the words you say