短文写作单项讲解.ppt

短文写作单项讲解 主讲人：何福胜 教授 1 写作要求 应具备英语书面表达的初步能力，能够 根据所给的提纲、情景或图表按要求写 出相应的短文。所写短文要求主题明确 ，条理清楚，语言比较规范。写作速度 应达到30分钟120词以上。 2 短文写作考题形式 本部分采用提纲、情景或图表作文的考 试形式。考生应按照要求写出一篇120词 以上的英语短文。本部分满分为15分， 考试时间为30分钟。 3 判分原则 2分：条理不清，思路混乱。语言支离破碎，绝大部分句子有错误 ，且多数为严重错误。 5分：基本切题，有些地方表达思想不够清楚，连贯性差，有较多 严重语法错误。 8分：中心思想基本表达明确，基本切题，表达尚能理解，用词多 处不正确。 11分：中心思想明确，切题，表达流畅，用词基本正确。 14分：中心思想明确，切题，表达流畅，用词恰当，无重大语法 结构错误。 4 写作考试要点 - 目的与对象 1 Unity （切题） 2 Variety （多样化表达） 3 Coherence （连贯性） 4 Accuracy （语法准确性） 5 例题（6分篇） Today cigarette smoking is a widespread habit all over the world. In developing country. There are more and more smoker. Evenly including children. In china. We often see some smoker in the store, street and so on. In spite of government prohibite smoking in public occasion. Many heavy smokers say they cannot give up smoking. I have lots of friend to smoke. I once persuade them to give up smoking. But they answer: “In fact I want to give up smoking too. I have once tried to do it. Finally I found it is impossible to give up0 smoking.” It isnt right. My father had been smoker for thirty years. Now he have gave up smoking. Its well know. “There is a will, there is a way”. Cigarette smoking is a threat to health. In morden times, Health is money. Life short but work is much. For your healthy family, smoker must give up smoking.6 例题（12分篇） Today cigarette smoking is a widespread habit all over the world. Many governments put severe restrictions on the product and sale of cigarettes. But still many people take it, and some of them are very young. It has been a social problem that all the world should deal with seriously. Many heavy smokers say that they cant give up smoking. They complain that there is not an effective method to make them get rid of the habit. But in my view, what is really important is not the method but the will. They need a hard determination as well as a good method. Cigarette smoking is a threat to health. Studies have proved that many diseases such as lung cancer are due to excessive smoking. And it will not only do harm to the smokers health, but also do harm to his family, his workmate and many other people who dont smoke. So we need to make efforts to let the smokers know what the smoking really brings us and help them to give up smoking. 7 注意问题（1） 1）掌握一定数量的常用词汇 常用词汇是英文写作的基础。如果考生能够比较熟练地拼写出 1500个常用词或词组，并知道它们的基本用法，应该说可以达到 工程硕士英语考试写作部分的要求。但是，有一定数量的考生在 这方面的差距较大。由于他们缺乏常用词汇以及没有掌握好这批 词汇的用法，其作文内容上显得空洞，拼写及词的搭配上经常出 现错误。如：effect一词，一些考生只能够记住它的中文词义，但 对它的用法及词性就不是很熟悉。当想表达“这本书对学生产生良 好的影响”这一概念是，常在effect前面，用动词produce, made, take等，或将该词直接用作动词；即使将它用作名词时，其后面 的介词又往往用错，常写成to, of, with。这反映出考生熟练地掌握 基本词汇的能力需要进一步提高。正确的表达应该是：This book has good effect on the students. 在该句中to have effect on 是一个固 定的搭配；如用动词时，可选择affect 或influence。类似的常用词 语还较多，如：compare with, in addition to, bring about, prevent from, in spite of, as a result等。因此，考生应该有意识地扩大这方 面的词汇，并为写作考试作好准备。 8 注意问题（2） 2）掌握一定数量的常用句型 词汇和句型是构成文章的主要成分。在英文写作中 ，句型的正确运用及变化是体现作文质量的标志之一 。而我们所接触的工程硕士考生中，这恰恰是他们的 薄弱环节。在他们的作文中，其弱点之一是简单句型 过多，句型没有变化。如： there are, there is, it is, I like, I want, I think, more and more 等句型使用过于频繁 。很少采用分词从句、不定式、定语从句、状语从句 等。即使写上几句复合句，其句子结构也会出现问题 。对工程硕士考生来说，掌握一定数量的常用句型是 非常必要的。如： It can be regarded as ., There is a time when , If it is decided by , I think that 等。 掌握了这些常用的句型可使考生在写句子时，其变化 更多一些，文章的内容及形式更加丰富一些。 9 注意问题（3） 3）掌握常用写作套路，多实践 提高写作水平的另一方式是多读一些不同题材 的范文。揣摩这些文章是从哪个角度入手的， 如何组织的，以及哪些想法及用词是可以借鉴 和模仿的。在多读的基础上，一定要掌握几篇 常用写作套路和多写几篇作文。写作是运用语 言的一种重要的实践活动；只有多写勤练，才 有可能逐步提高写作水平。 10 短文写作步骤 1 Brain-storming （构思阶段） 2 Drafting （起草阶段） 3 Revision/Editing （修改阶段） 11 How to Achieve Unity 1 Using common sense 2 Taking into account the overall situation 3 Taking into account the particular environment 4 Selecting relevant information 5 Making conclusions 12 How to Achieve Variety 1 Avoiding using a meaningful word more than once 2 Avoiding using four letter verbs 3 Using phrases instead of individual words 4 Using formal vocabulary 5 Keeping a reasonable sentence length 13 How to Achieve Coherence 1 Getting familiar with conjunctions/transitive words 2 Knowing how to use conjunctions/transitive words 3 Using appropriate conjunctions/transitive where necessary 4 Clarifying relationships between sentences 5 Making the writing easily readable 14 How to Achieve Accuracy 1 Knowing basic grammatical rules 2 Revising/Editing the writing 3 Avoiding various grammar mistakes 4 Correcting various grammar mistakes 5 Avoiding spoken English expressions 6 Making the writing grammar-error free 15 英文段落结构 1 Topic Sentence 2 Supporting Sentences 3 Conclusion 16 整段结构示意图（1） Introduction Body (= Middle Part) Conclusion 17 1）主题句 主题句是段落的核心，它表明作者的 态度、观点、意图等，同时反映了段落 的中心思想。写好主题句的关键是：段 落的中心思想应该是一个，并将其清楚 地表达出来，不要出现语言错误。 18 2）扩展句 扩展句主要围绕着主题句进行叙述、 说明或论述等，是主题句发展成段落的 主要组成部分。主体段是短文的主体， 可以是一段，也可以是几段。一般情况 下用于从不同的角度对短文的主题展开 讨论或说明。主体段要围绕着开始段的 主题展开，内容要充实。其扩展主体段 的方式可采用举例、排列顺序、因果、 分类等段落扩展方式。 19 3）结尾句 结尾句指用一句话将某段落的内容进行 归纳总结，有时还起到承上启下的作用 。结尾句需要与主题句相呼应，引发读 者对段落的进一步认识。有时一些段落 是没有结尾句的。这要看写作内容或具 体情况来决定。 20 整段结构示意图（2）： The Topic Sentence (if possible with link to previous paragraph) Followed by Paragraph Development Sentences (expansion/explanation/comment/illustration) Followed by The Concluding Sentence (if possible with link to next paragraph) 21 整篇结构示意图： The Topic Paragraph Followed by Development Paragraph(s) expansion/explanation/comment/illustration Followed by The Concluding Paragraph 22 A Model Paragraph Reasons for the growing popularity of fast-food chains appear obvious enough (1). For one thing, the food is generally cheap. A hamburger at McDonalds, for example, costs about one-half as much as a meal at a regular restaurant. (2) Another advantage of the chains is their convenience. For busy working couples who dont want to spend the time or effort cooking, fast- food restaurants offer an attractive alternative. (3) Besides, it may seem strange for others, but many Americans do like the taste of fast food. Consequently, the customers of fast food in America are increasing in large numbers. 23 段落的发展 在主题句确定后，需要围绕主题中心 扩展成段落。扩展的方式有多种，本节 重点介绍排列顺序、比较和对照、因果 推理、分类和举例。 24 1) 排列顺序 (By listing) 排列顺序是一中常见的段落发展方式。以这种 方式完成的段落在层次上清楚易懂。一般情况 下，围绕一个主题，列举必要的论据进行陈述 或解释。排列的顺序可以根据有关内容的重要 性、时间的先后或位置的远近来组织。常用的 词语有：In the first place, In addition, What is more, first, second, also, finally, one, another, still another, for one thing, for another, to begin with, on the one hand, on the other hand 等。 25 例题 In China, bicycle is very popular and is welcomed by almost everyone. The reasons are as follows: First, a bike is cheap, and most people can afford it. A bike costs from only about 200 yuan to 500 yuan . Second, riding a bike is a good exercise, and it can help us to keep fit. Third, bikes dont cause air pollution, so that people in a city will have a nice environment to live in. Finally, a bike doesnt need a large parking space. For these reasons, many people in China like riding bikes very much. 26 2) 分 类 ( Classification ) 分类也是段落发展的一种方式；其特点是对 所叙述的事情进行分门别类。分类写作时需要 按照某一尺度或标准。如：将某一个班的学生 分类，可按来自的不同地区分类，也可按学习 成绩划分。 常用的分类表达形式有： 1. divide A into .2. classify A into . 3. group A into 4. A falls into 5. There are . kinds (groups, categories, sorts, types, classes, sections) of . 27 例题 We usually think of bees as being sociable insects which live in large communities, but this is not always true. One way of classifying bees is into “social” and “solitary” species, and there are many of the latter. Petiolate (具柄) bees are solitary while bumble bees (大蜂) and honey bees are social species. One important difference between the bumble and honey bees is that the bumble bee has a much longer tongue. It can fertilize plants which the honey bees tongue cannot even reach. Without the bumble bee there would be no clover (三叶草). 28 3) 比较和对照 ( Comparison and Contrast ) 发展段落的另一种方式是比较和对照 。在写作中，把两件事情的类似或相同 的方面进行相比，称为类比；把不同的 ，甚至相反的方面进行相比，称为对照 。 29 常见句型 1. There are some (a few, many) differences (similarities) between A and B. 2. A differs from B (is different form B) in three aspects. 3. A has something (much) in common with B. 4. A has some advantages over B. 5. Let us make a comparison (contrast) between A and B. 6. We can easily compare A with B, and see the differences and similarities between them. 7. One difference (similarity) seems to be (lies in, is ) that 30 常见的词及词组 on the contrary in contrast in comparison on the other hand be like (unlike) just as be the same as similarly likewise while whereas yet but however differently 31 例题 Today, in Britain there are still some differences in status between men and women. Many employers like to hire men rather than women. The average working woman is likely to earn only about half what a man earns for the same job. Most women who do work still do unskilled jobs while men are likely to take decent jobs. There is also great inequality in education. Only a quarter of all university students are women, and the majority are men. At present boys schools are still much better than girls schools. 32 4)因果和推理 ( Cause and Effect ) 这种段落的发展方式通常用于解释某件 事情发生的原因和结果。在在职人员英 语考生中，有的作文题要求以因果和推 理的方式完成。如：1996年的一次考试 作文：“外地民工进入城市”。这一作文 题目给出了事情的起因，考生需要按照 推理写出这一起因带来的结果，包括好 的和不好的结果。 33 因果关系过渡作用的连接词 because wing to due to as a result because of so therefore thus consequently for this reason since as on account of as a consequence accordingly 34 因果关系动词和动词词组 causeproduce lead to bring about result frombe due to have an effect onresult in contribute to be attributed to give rise to 35 例题1 These days, a large number of migrant workers enter big cities. On the one hand they have helped to push forward the urban development by constructing buildings, streets, bridges and so on. It can be seen that almost every day a building is put up and a new street is under construction. Their hard work has changed the look of the cities. On the other hand, as too many migrant workers enter big cities at the same time, some problems are bought about. One of them is that the city can not offer so many job opportunities. 36 例题 1 Another problem is that they would make traffic more crowded. Sometimes, people are worried about social security and it has become common that crimes and stealing often occur, which might be related to some dishonest migrant workers. 37 5) 举 例 ( Example ) 以给出实例说明或证实作者的观点是 举例段落发展方式。在在职人员英语作 文考试中，我们应该采用举例的方式， 使文章内容更加充实，更富有内容。 38 常用引出举例的词和词组 1. for example， for instance for another example, one example is another example is, There are two examples that . 2. furthermoremoreover besides in addition to alsoadditionally 39 例题 1 Automobiles have been playing an important role in the daily activities of human society. For example, industry needs them for transporting products, and agriculture depends on them for farm supplies. Besides, automobiles are used every day to carry people to and from work. At weekends, automobiles take families on nice outings. But automobiles have also brought about a series of problems. For instance, the streets become crowded with them. They not only cause traffic accidents which injure or kill a large number of people each year, but also make great noise and give off a lot of poisonous gases. 40 1) 用于引导主题句或主题句后第一个 扩展句的过渡词语称为“启”，有关这 方面的常用词语有(1) first 第一，首先 at first 起先，最初 first of all 首先，第一 in the beginning 起初，最初 in the first place 首先，第一firstly 第一，首先 currently 当前，目前 to start with首先，第一 at present 现在，目前 to begin with首先，第一 41 lately 最近，不久前 for one thing首先， 一则 for another 其次，二则 now 现在，此刻，目 on the one hand 一方面 on the other hand 另一方面 in general一般地，大体上 nowadays 当前 generally speaking一般地说来，通常地 1)用于引导主题句或主题句后第一个 扩展句的过渡词语称为“启”，有关这 方面的常用词语有(2) 42 2) 用于承接主题句或第一个扩展句的 过渡词语称为“承”，这方面的词语有 ：(1) second/secondly 第二，第二点 third/ thirdly 第 三，第三点 in other words 换句话说 in the same way 同样，相 同地 also又，并且 besides 而且,还有,此外 after that 之后，此后 in addition to除.之外 in addition 另外 afterwards 之后，此后 moreover 再者，此外 from now on 从此 43 what is more更为重要的是 later 之后 后来 for example 例如 meanwhile 与此 , 同时 for instance 例如 namely 即，就是 soon很快，不久 at the same time 同时 then然后，于是 consequently 因而,所以 of course当然，自然 for this purpose 为此 2) 用于承接主题句或第一个扩展句的 过渡词语称为“承”，这方面的词语有 :(2) 44 3) 用来表示不同和相反概念的过渡词 语为“转”，常见的词语有： but 但是 yet 然而 on the contrary 相反 in contrast 相比之下 unlike 和.不同 however可是，仍然 whereas 反之，然而 nevertheless 尽管如此 on the other hand 另一方面 in spite of 不管，尽管 unfortunately 不幸地 though 虽然 in fact 事实上 as a matter of fact 实际上，事实上 45 4) 用于小结段落或短文的过渡词“合” ， 常见的词语有：(1) finally 最后，最终 at last 终于，最后 in short 简言之 in a word 总之，简言之 hence因此，由此 in conclusion 最后，总之 at length 终于，最后 eventually 最终，最后 thus如此，因此 therefore 因此，所以 46 4) 用于小结段落或短文的过渡词“合” ， 常见的词语有(2) accordingly 因此，于是to sum up 总结一下， 总而言之 to conclude 最后surely 一定，无疑 briefly 简单地说，简短地undoubtedly 无疑 truly的确，事实上as a result 结果 so 所以，因而 obviously显然 ,显而易见 certainly 肯定，无疑 47 例题 _ a short school day would benefit both students and teachers. , the shorter periods resulting from a shorter day would make boring classes easier to tolerate. , teachers would have additional time for grading papers and preparing the nest days lesson , students would have more free time for homework and independent study projects, as well as for extracurricular activities. , everyone would get more sleep. _, it would be easier for them to concentrate on their lessons next day. 48 段落框架示范1 Obviously there are at least two good reasons for On the one hand, On the other hand, Moreover, is responsible for There may be some other factors contributing to this critical situation, but these causes are among the most important, for it is generally believed that 49 段落框架示范2 As far as is concerned, I suggest that . measures be taken to correct the present situation. In the first place, In addition, What is more, In my opinion, if these existing problems could be solved or even partially relieved, we are bound to have a more bright future. 50 图表作文常用句型 (1) 1. to be increased by (to . ) 2. to grow from . to . 3. There is a rise (growth/increase/decrease/decline) from . to . 4. to be reduced by . (to .) 5. to drop (fall/decline/come down/step down) from . to . 6. There is a fall (drop/decline) from . to . 7. As is shown in the table (or picture, or diagram, etc.), 51 图表作文常用句型 (2) 8. According to the figures given in the table (or picture, or diagram, etc.), 52 命题作文注意事项 1）要有明确的主题或观点， 2）要有充分的论据，即应该有一定量的 事实支持自己的观点；可以采用实例、 个人经历、数字等。 3）议论事物应该具体，议论的层次应该 清晰。同时，在文章的结尾时要有结论 。 53 范文分析1 College Students Should Value their Time I dont think some college students value their time very much. The reason is that they like to play, and they dont like to study hard. They are not hard working, and they become lazy. They dont know that the time is valuable and they dont understand that the time will not come back. They dont go to library very often, and some of them just want to sleep. 54 范文分析1 We should tell them that college education is dear to them and they should value it. they should understand that it is not easy for them to get college education. They should realize that our country and their parents spend too much money on their education. So they should value their time. 55 作文讲评 (1) 以上短文较多地采用了statements, 似乎没有深入 下去。主要是缺乏事实。该短文可以加入以下内 容： 1. These students dont work very hard because they want to relax for a period of time. One student I met said that he studied too hard in the middle school and had got fed up of learning now. 2. Some students dont value their time because they are not aware of the importance of time at a college. They think that they are young and it doesnt matter if they spend time enjoying themselves. . 56 作文讲评 (2) 3. Some students dont value their time because they dont know how to use the time in a proper way. They are not able to budget the time properly. As a result, much of their time is wasted. For example, when I was at college, one of my classmates 57 范文分析 2(1) 题目：My View on College Education 1. 大学教育在现代社会中起着越来越重要 的作用。 2. 有些人认为没有大学教育同样能成功。 3. 你的观点。 58 I think college education may be important for everyone. People need it to get a good job, and make some money to support themselves and their family members. A good job is not easy to be found, and college education is not easy to be got, especially in China. In order to get college education we have to pass an examination. The examination is very hard., and many students fail each year. They fail and they started business and become very rich, which educated person can not become. So some people should not go to college and become successful. 范文分析 2(2) 59 作文讲评 这篇短文的内容在很大的程度上偏离 了作文题，使得议论文的中心不是非常 的明确，好象有几个需要议论的主题； 扩展句没有能够很好地围绕写作题目加 以说明，句子之间的语义衔接也不连贯 。这方面的问题在基础比较弱的考生中 是比较严重的。克服这一问题需要多接 触写作题目，多看一些范文同时自己一 定要动手多写几篇议论文。 60 议论文写作套路（1） It is generally believed that is a hot topic which is widely talked about both at home and abroad. There are many causes/reasons/advantages/problems which are closely related to this situation. In the first place, In addition, What is more, However, has also brought us/will also bring us some disadvantages/benefits. On the one hand, For example, it is reported on the newspapers that On the other hand, As a consequence, In my opinion, we should make every effort to come out with possible solutions to this problem (making improvement to the existing situation). As soon as the problem is solved or even partially relieved, we are (our country is) bond to have a much