2020高考英语新创新一轮复习写作第二编扩充句告别瘦削骨感美在意韵丰满学案含解析

1、扩充句告别瘦削骨感美在意韵丰满不是不会写，而是不知写什么，尤其是面对越来越开放化的写作要点时，考生不善想象，不会发散，导致语句表达干瘪无物，直译要点，搜肠刮肚也凑不够词数，一脸窘态。如何合理想象、扩充句式，让写作有血有肉，本部分从4个方面给予指导。扩充策略(一)不走寻常路，靓句带你飞追加成分高考英语书面表达不仅规定了写作内容，还明确规定了词数，并在评分标准中指出，如果“词数少于80和多于120的，从总分中减去2分”。但在实际阅卷过程中，如果词数过少，扣掉的不止是2分。因为篇幅过短，不能吸引阅卷老师细看以便查找诸如“高级词汇”“较高级结构”等“加分点”，自然影响得分档次。在试题“注意”中有明确规

2、定：“1.词数100左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”。这里既规定了词数，又指定了充实文章的方法，即“适当增加细节”。“适当增加细节”其中很重要的一个方法就是追加成分。目的扩展句子，充实文章在要点句基础上适当增加合乎逻辑的附加成分，如定语(从句)、状方法语(从句)(如目的、条件、原因、结果、方式等)、非谓语结构、独立主格结构、举例等，使表达更丰满，内容更充实，主题更突出特色结构多变，句式多样典例观摩悟法1(提醒演讲参赛选手)要守时、讲卫生、守纪律。Pleasearriveontime,keepquietanddontlitteraround.ItsPleasearrivethereon

3、time,forwhoeverislatewontbeallowedtoenter.badmannerstolitteraround.Andalwayskeepquietwhilewaitingforyourturn.分析原句虽然没有直译所给要点，且灵活化解了难点，但过于直白、语气较为生硬；而改写后的句子则进行了拓展，具体明确。如“forwhoeverislate.”提醒参赛选手迟到后果的严重性；“Itsbadmanners.”使用it作形式主语的句型，指出乱扔东西属于不礼貌行为；“whilewaitingforyourturn”使用状语从句的省略形式，进行补充说明。因此，改写后的句子更充实，

4、更适宜对参赛选手提建议的语境。2(演讲注意事项)要面带微笑；要讲慢些，讲清楚。Besuretowearasmileonyourface.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandclearly.Besuretowearasmileonyourfacerelaxed.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandwhenyouspeak,whichwillmakeyouclearlysothatyoucanleaveagoodimpressionontheaudienceandjudges.分析加蓝部分是根据语境所追加的成分，如“whichwillmake

5、yourelaxed”指出“演讲时微笑”的好处；“sothatyoucan.”为“讲慢些，讲清楚”的目的，留下好印象是“演讲”效果之一，也是能否获得评委青睐的因素之一。适当增加与所给信息相关的时间、原因、结果、条件、目的等成分来表达细节内容，能够使习作流畅、丰满，达到应有的表达效果。专题过关训练请发挥合理想象，扩展句子(请注意括号内提供的语境)1(开设英语电影欣赏课)建议多选择英语电影。As_a_young_student,_IsuggesttheteacherchoosemoreEnglishfilmsthatappeal_to_us_teenagers,_thusmaking_Englis

6、h_learning_more_interesting.2(讨论学生带手机问题)不允许学生带手机。Studentsareforbiddentotakeacellphonein_order_not_to_affect_our_studies/so_as_not_to_disturb_others_in_class.3(去看电影)你最好早点到。In_order_to_get_a_good_seat_for_seeing,_youdbetterarriveabitearlier.4(2018全国卷书面表达)(通知学校放映电影)这部英文短片主要与我们学校的发展有关。TheEnglishshortfil

7、mismainlyrelatedtothedevelopmentofourschool,which_will_greatly_help_us_students_know_the_schools_history_better_and_appeal_to_us_to_make_contributions_to_our_schools_development.5(2018全国卷书面表达)(介绍学校体育馆)体育场馆已经建立起来，许多运动项目可在里面举行。Tobeginwith,anewstadiumhasbeenbuiltup，which_has_become_the_new_landmark_in_

8、our_school.Moreover,withthestadiumsetup,awiderangeofsportseventsareabletobeheld,of_which_table_tennis,_football_as_well_as_running_competitions_enjoy_great_popularity.6(2018北京高考书面表达)(咨询来北京上大学)建议你上北京大学，中国文学专业适合你。Learning_your_keen_interest_in_Chinese_culture,_IsuggestPekingUniversity,one_of_the_best_

9、universities_in_China.ItsChineseLiteraturemajorisperfectforyouapplyforyouwhere_you_can_be_completely_soaked_in_Chinese_profound_history_and_rich_culture.扩充策略(二)铺上红地毯再出场补加语句补加语句是常见的“增加细节”的方法，这可以使文章显得错落有致，这样不仅使文章在形式上增加美感，而且使文章读起来铿锵有力，从而使作文在内容上更加连贯、丰满。下面介绍补加语句的几种技法：目的充实文章，增强连贯性根据行文走向，适当增加一些与主题相关的语句，或由要

10、点方法衍生的句子，既起到前引后联的作用，又能补充一些相关信息，帮助阅卷者理解所写内容。同时，还能协调句式，避免句式单调的问题特色协调句式，结构多样技法1列举具体的实例进行补充说明我喜欢读书。Ilikereadingbooks.Ilikereadingbooks,suchasnovels,shortstories,magazinesandnewspapers.我要花一些时间和父母在一起。Illspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.Illspendsometimestayingwithmyparents,chattingwiththemanddoingsomehous

11、ework.我想找一个像我一样喜欢旅行的笔友。Idliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Idliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Ifpossible,wecantraveltogetherorsharetravelingexperiences.技法2增添与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容我有时去村西的小河游泳。Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.Igoswimmin

12、gintheintheriverisveryclear.(Weatherpermitting,andthen.(相关背景)riverofthewestof背景渲染)Igoswimminginthetherivervillageofthenowandthen.Thewaterwestofthevillagenow旅行了一周后，他回到了家。Afteraweekstrip,hereturnedhome.Afteraweekstrip,hereturnedhome,tiredbutveryhappy.(心理描写)技法3增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容我要和父母一起去超市购物。Imgoingtodosom

13、eshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket.Imgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarketandwontbebackuntilabout5：00intheafternoon.(增加时间)我已经带来了你让我归还的这两本书。Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.IhavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturntotheCityLibrary.(增加地点)典例观摩悟法1(提醒观众注意)要按时进入电影院。Besure

14、toenterthetheaterontime.Besuretoenterthetheaterontime.Whoeverislatewillmissthesplendidopening.分析要点句为简单句，补加复合句“Whoeverislate.”，通过指出迟到后果的方式引起观众的注意，同时，也使得句式多样，表达丰富多彩。2(谈论善款用途)募捐得来的钱将送给最急需的人。Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothoseingreatneed.Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothosei

15、ngreatneed.Thiswillnotonlyhelpthemgetthroughdifficulties,butalsogivethemwarmthandhappiness.分析通过复合句来增加“较复杂结构”，同时也是上一句衍生的“效果”：帮助他们战胜困难，还给予他们温暖和幸福。专题过关训练请适当补加语句，充实下面写作片段1(描写英语老师)Hisclassleftusstudentsadeepimpression.(1)He_tries_his_best_to_make_us_understand_what_he_is_teaching/He_has_a_free_talk_with_

16、us_in_simple_and_humorous_English/He_has_a_good_way_to_make_his_class_lively_and_interesting.Hespeaksslowlyandclearlysothatwecanfollowhimwell.Meanwhile,hewouldrepeatjustintimewhatthestudentsdidnotunderstand.(2)Greatly_inspired,_most_of_us_take_an_active_part_in_his_class/Our_English_has_greatly_impr

17、oved_with_his_help_and_guidance.2(说明自己所擅长的两项技艺)AsaChinese,Imgoodatmanyskillsrelatedwithourtraditionalculture.Butamongthem,Taichiismyfavoritebecauseitdoesmuchgoodtomyhealth.(1)Im_sure_American_friends_will_be_also_crazy_about_it_after_they_touch_it.Andasyouknow,Chinesecookingispopularallovertheworld.

18、(2)It_happens_that_Im_expert_at_it,_and_Im_glad_to_present_some_traditional_Chinese_dishes_to_everybody.3(2018浙江高考写作)(应聘志愿者的相关经验)Firstly,IcanspeakfluentEnglishand(1)I_have_little_difficulty_communicating_with_foreigners.Secondly,Ihelpedreceivesomevisitingforeignerstoourschoollastyear.(2)This_experie

19、nce_is_sure_to_enable_me_to_do_better_this_year.4(互联网的好处)TheInternetisplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourdailylife.We_can_not_only_read_news_from_home_and_abroad,_but_also_get_information,_send_emails_and_attend_online_schools.扩充策略(三)陡转之处拐个弯增加过渡增加过渡是常见的“增加细节”的方法，过渡性词语和过渡性语句的使用是语言连贯性得以实现的最常用手段。在句与句

20、之间，段与段之间恰当地使用一些承上启下的过渡(连接)性词语、句子可避免语句陡转直下，不联不搭，通过合理过渡，实现语句的衔接顺畅。这就需要考生在日常学习中积累背诵常用的过渡词。例如：表示列举的firstly,secondly,thirdly,finally；表示自己看法的asfarasImconcerned,frommypointofview,inmyopinion；表示转折的onthecontrary,however,everycoinhastwosides等。目的增加凝聚力，突出连贯性根据行文或段落需要，在句与句或段与段之间适当增加过渡方法性词语，或者过渡句，以使文章浑然一体，提高说服力特色

21、行文连贯，条理清晰典例观摩悟法1(话题：家长用车接送学生引起校门口拥堵)Ourtrafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudentshealth.Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolvedfromtwoasp

22、ects.Ononehand,trafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ontheotherhand,ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudentshealth.分析本段作者使用Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolved.our主题句，其中f

23、romtwoaspects让读者明白作者提供了两个方面的建议，并以ononehand,ontheotherhand进行展示。这些过渡性词语和过渡句的恰当使用，使文章语言连贯、过渡自然、浑然一体。2(去美国学习英语询问具体问题)Imconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.Imwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Wouldyoupleasegivem

24、esomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？Imsureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.Firstly，Imconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.Secondly,Imwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.Furthermore，ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Lastbutnotle

25、ast,wouldyoupleasegivemesomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？Imsureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.分析本段作者使用firstly,secondly,furthermore,lastbutnotleast使层次清晰连贯，使文章提高一个档次，能彰显作者实力。专题过关训练.用过渡性词汇补全句子1(2018浙江高考to_make_matters_worse/worse_still(2(2018北京高考书面表达写作)Welostourway更糟的是),itgotdark.)I

26、n_my_opinion/view(依我看intheforest)studyingforadegreeandinadifferentcultureisnevereasy.3First_of_all/To_begin_with(首先),themostsignificantthingistosetagoal,workoutaplanandcarryouttheplanstepbystep.4On_the_one_hand(一方面),theycansweepthetombsforthedead.On_the_other_hand(另一方面),theycangoforawalkinthecountry

27、inspringwhenthegrasshasjustturnedgreen.5In_a_word/In_conclusion/In_short/In_brief(总之),successisimportant,andsoisfailure,becauseitsthemotherofsuccess.阅读下面短文，从方框中选择适当的过渡性词语填空近来，中学生普遍缺乏自我保护意识这一问题备受关注，请你用英语写一篇短文：1概括中学生自我保护的重要性；2就如何保护自己谈谈你的看法(至少两点)。aboveall，besides，meanwhile，foronething，foranotherthing，p

28、ersonally，inawordRecently,ithasbeenagreatpublicconcernthatthestudentslackself-protectionawareness.Thereisalackofsocialexperienceamongstudentsandthereforelearninghowtoprotectourselvesisofgreatsignificancetousall.1.For_one_thing,_securitycomesfirst.Withoutsecurity,wecanachievenothingandcannotliveuptop

29、arentsthing,_protectingourselvescontributestothehealthydevelopmentofusstudents,whichisassociatedwiththehappinessofeveryfamily.3.Meanwhile,_italsohelpstobuildamoreharmonioussociety.4Personally,_inordertoprotectusstudents,5.above_all,_weshouldstrengthenoursecurityawareness.6.Besides,_whenaccidentsoccu

30、r,weshouldcalmdownandturntoteachersorparentsforhelp.Thegovernmentalsoplaysaleadingroleinprotectingstudents.7.In_a_word,_onlybythecombinedeffortsofeverysideinvolvedcanweliveandstudyinharmony.请在下面的段落内加上适当的词语或句子，以充实文章(话题：是否禁止广场舞)Idontthinksquaredancingshouldbeegin_with,_dancingisagoodwaytotakeexercise,

31、whichcanhelppeopletobuildthemselvesup.It3.alsoprovidesachanceforpeopletocommunicatewitheachother.4.Besides/Whats_more,_thesquareisagoodplaceforpeopletoworkout.扩充策略(四)世界那么大，带你去看看详加描述详加描述是常见的“增加细节”的方法，这可以使文章词数达标、内容充实、结构连贯、语意顺畅。目的有详有略，主次分明根据提示要求，首先确定主要点和次要点，然后在主要点上着方法笔泼墨。除了前面提到的采用“追加成分”以扩展句子的方式外，还可把一些主

32、要点分开详述，从而提升这些要点的分量特色详略得当，重点突出典例观摩悟法下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充实文章、突出主题。一家英语报社向中学生征文，主题是“我理想的大学生活”，请根据下列要求和你的畅想完成短文。1专业与课程；2.老师与同学；3.学校活动。注意：1.词数100左右；2可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3开头语已给出，不计入总词数。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.学生习作(得分16分)Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.Illbeadmi

33、ttedtoPekingUniversityandmajorinEnglish.Icanchooseavarietyofcourses,suchasEnglishliterature.Theprofessortherewillbefriendlyanddevotedtotheirteaching.Besides,Illhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Inoursparetime,variousactivitieswillbeheldtobuildupourcourageandexperience,suchaspartiesandcompetitions.分析该文虽然

34、把题干中给出的三个要点一一列出，结构清晰，还使用了一些高级词汇如beadmittedto,avarietyof,bedevotedto,various等。然而由于简单罗列要点，全文只有约70词，且缺少连贯性，未能完全完成试题规定的任务。下面是修改完成后的作文，请注意加黑句子对充实文章、突出主题的作用。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.AsfarasIcanimagine,IllbeadmittedtoPekingUniversity,whereIllmajorinEnglish.Icanchooseavarietyofco

35、urses,whichwillhelpmeimprovemyspokenEnglishandhaveabetterunderstandingofforeigncultures.Theprofessorstherewillbefriendlyanddevotedtotheirteaching,withwhosehelpnotonlycanIenrichmyknowledgebutalsoIcanbroadenmyhorizons.Inaddition,Illhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Wellcompeteinourstudyandbeclosefriendsin

36、ourdailylife.Inourfreetime,variousactivitieswillbeheldtobuildupourcourageandexperience,suchaspartiesandcompetitions.Imsuremycollegelifewillberichandcolorful.分析修改后的文章篇幅适中(120words)，要点齐全、内容充实、语言丰富、句式多样、行文连贯，而且详略得当，主题突出。文中“详加描述”合情合理(见加黑部分)，尤其是最后一句与文章首句照应，结构显得非常紧凑。总之，要想使文章充实、连贯，就需要“适当增加细节”。但是，这些细节的增加需要结

37、合体裁、主题以及行文走向，“画龙点睛”式地增加，绝不能毫无节制地乱加一气，以免冲淡主题，模糊文意，甚至“跑偏了”主题。专题过关训练1下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充实文章、突出主题。近来，中国游客在海外的不文明行为备受热议。假定你是李华，是一名国际旅行社的导游，就此写一篇短文在一份英文报纸上发表自己的观点。请根据下面的提示完成短文。1列举不文明行为；2指出其影响；3提出建议。注意：1.词数100左右；2可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3开头已给出，不计入总词数。Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,Ifinditsoembarrassingt

38、oseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.考生习作Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.Suchbadbehaviorsoverseashavecauseddamagetothecountrysreputation.Measuresshouldbetakentostopthis.First,beforegoingabroad,touristsshouldbetrainedtoobeys

39、ocialandpublicorder,andrespectlocalreligionscustoms.Besides,kindergartensandprimaryschoolsshoulddomoretoteachtoberesponsiblecitizens.andthekids升格作文Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.Theyspeakloudlyinpublicplaces,carvecharactersontouristattractions,throwrubbish,spiteverywhere,andevencrosstheroadwhenthetrafficlightsarestillred.Suchbadbehaviorsoverseashavecauseddamagetothecountrysreputation.Measuresshouldbetakentostopthis.First,beforegoingabroad,touristsshouldbetrainedtoobeysocial