读后续写专题第3章如何进行情节设计讲义-高三英语复习写作专项

情节设计|呼应原文合理编●手把手教●原文取词●改写&衔接Para1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.Para2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.Thankgoodnesswearesaved!Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescenewewererobbedbyapolarbear![2020年7月浙江卷]续写使用的红色单词都是原文的单词Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”一thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbearslikeallwildanimals一shouldbephotographedfromasafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence......[2020年7月浙江卷]1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;现在无下划线词了但方法可沿用需自己找出关键词合理编写原文词汇：修饰—改写—推进那么关键词在哪里怎么找出来读原文3件事：角色+特点+占比构思前：读原文3件事（5WP1P2+角色+描写）Who关键词动词动作（主要情节）情绪/心理：adj人物1续写：延续这些动作；或再做一遍续写：加在名词前或表达更加much+adj.er人物2其他What关键句需求冲突待做的事P1P2关键句The+名词转机（定结尾）需求3W1HWhere/when/why/how各类描写占比读后续写:情节设计|“需求法”NSDD简化表格进行情节设计—线索在哪里Needs需求重点看：首尾段+P1P2给定句也可理解为：写作者要写到的内容Difficulty困难、障碍设置困难原文中找冲突、障碍（5W1H+角色特点）Solution行动、方法大转机：通常在P1/P2首句原文：所有角色/事物Denouement结局(需求解决)需求被解决（复合价值观结局）升华感悟平常写作训练时，可以以此表格设计情节在考场上可以直接在原文标记[填入原文线索,情节仅需补23句]N需求:__________________________________________(线索在:首尾段+P1/P2给定句)D困难:__________________________________________(线索在:5w1H+角色特点)S方法:___________________________________________(线索在:P1/P2给定句+角色事物)D结局:___________________________________________(线索在:需求解决+呼应原文)P1:Aferuminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.①②③④⑤⑥⑦⑧⑨⑩Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingatаresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.world"thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbearslikeallwildanimalsshouldbephotographedfromаsafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.HestoodonhisbacklegsandP1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktopushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthoughhejustkepttryingtoresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebearspunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroarthebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.[2020年7月浙江卷]P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.N需求:脱险,对抗熊3o分钟;惊险时刻(线索在:首尾段+P1/P2给定句)D困难:熊凶猛;武器只能用普通物品(线索在:5w1H+角色特点)S方法:等直升机;Elli行动;喷雾+面包(线索在:P1/P2给定句+角色事物)D结局:登机脱险熊破栅栏吃食物我拍照(线索在:需求解决+呼应原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.“Thankgoodnesswearesaved!"Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescene一wewererobbedbyapolarbear!Who关键词动词形容词I&Elligoal:tophotograph;triedallactions;radioedforhelp;Itooksomepictures;singlegoal;safedistance;Terrified;fearedPolarbearpushedthefence;pulledandbitthewire;teardownthefence;ranto;headedback;youngmale;hungry;angryroar;fierce;wildanimals;uninvitedguest;kepttrying物体（做工具）dinner;garlicbread;fence;camera;loudnoises;pepperspray;helicopter;foodWhat关键句（3W1H）Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous;thefencewouldn'tlastthrough30moreminutesofP1P2关键词thatverymoment[填入原文线索,情节仅需补23句]N需求:脱险,对抗熊30分钟;惊险时刻(线索在:首尾段+P1/P2给定句)D困难:熊凶猛;武器只能用普通物品(线索在:5w1H+角色特点)S方法:等直升机;Elli行动;喷雾+面包(线索在:P1/P2给定句+角色事物)D结局:登机脱险熊破栅栏吃食物我拍照(线索在:需求解决+呼应原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.①心里/动作线：（顺着P1首句）我们更加害怕，熊看起来更凶狠②Elli行动+面包“扔面包转移熊的注意力”③（角色互动）熊跑去吃面包但吃完又折回来④我紧急拿到辣椒喷雾尝试击退它⑤惊险时刻unfortunatelyasexpected，熊更愤怒了直接扑过来P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.⑥心理加动作线我们开心，得救(心理+语言)⑦登直升机脱险(动作+心理)⑧俯瞰营地，发现惊人一幕⑨熊吃食物⑩我拍照，心想熊得偿所愿了运用原文词汇：加修饰改写推进Who关键词动词形容词I&Elligoal:tophotograph;triedallactions;radioedforhelp;Itooksomepictures;singlegoal;safedistance;Terrified;fearedPolarbearpushedthefence;pulledandbitthewire;teardownthefence;ranto;headedback;youngmale;hungry;angryroar;fierce;wildanimals;uninvitedguest;kepttrying物体（做工具）dinner;garlicbread;fence;camera;loudnoises;pepperspray;helicopter;foodP1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.①意识到喷雾无用，熊更凶狠②我害怕，不知道咋办③Elli行动，扔面包④行动有用熊跑去吃面包⑤不幸运的是熊吃完又折回●Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.●Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.●Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!●Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.●Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.●Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.原文adj/v.加修饰：原文形容词>比较级更加原文动词>前加副词加强程度续写情节拓展5个技巧1、重现改写原文关键(尤其续写第1句)(句式:evenmore..;dosthagain..)2.评价(评价前动作/前情节)(句式:..whichworked/whichmadesb.../whichturnedout)3、后悔感叹(当初就../要是..就好了)(句式:虚拟语气,should/shouldn'thavedone;ifonly)4.动作链(单动作，拆成多动作)(句式:动词排比/Doingsth,sbdosth./Havingdonesth,sbdosth.)5.角色分工(同时空下，不同角色的行动)(句式:While/When/A....sbdosth./Meanwhile,sbdosth.)解析1.重现、改写原文关键(尤其续写第1句)原文尾段关键句+P1首句:组合改写,顺接着描述➢常用词汇:Sb/sthisevenmore+形容词/副词;(某人/某物更加..）Sb/sthdosthagain/oncemore/repeatedly..(某人再次做.)◆真题运用1:[2020.07浙江卷]尾段:..Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar(吼叫),thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.*尾段关键词:Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes;anangryroar;fierce;pushfence(喷雾灼伤了熊的眼睛;愤怒的咆哮;凶猛;推栅栏)*Paragraph1给定句:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.(几分钟后，熊回到了我们的营地)续写范文:Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.(红字:原文词/改写;绿字:改写润色)然后我们意识到,喷雾只会让他更加愤怒，因为这次他似乎更猛烈了,像疯了一样猛烈地推着栅栏。真题运用2:[2021年全国1卷]尾段:.JenatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeffshandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain...*尾段关键词:tocleanthekitchenupsotheycouldcontinuetocook...(清理厨房,这样他们就可以继续做饭了..*P1给定:Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.(当双胞胎失望地环顾四周时，他们的父亲出现了)续写范文:Hetoldthem,tocleanupthekitchenwhilehehelpedthemmakebreakfastforMother.(红字:原文词/改写;绿字:改写润色)他告诉她们清理厨房,同时他帮他们为母亲做早餐。2.评价:前动作/前情节万用句式:Sbdidsth,whichturnedouttobe...(某人做某事,这是..的)➢常用词汇:...whichworked;(这发挥作用了)...whichmadesb...(这使得某人...)...whichturnedouttobequitehelpful/fruitful/productive.(事实证明，这是非常有帮助/富有成效/富有成效的)◆真题运用1:[2020.07浙江卷]P1段续写情节:Elli扔面包引诱熊去吃。熊跑去吃面包。扩写加评价:Elli扔面包引诱熊去吃，这个行动有用。熊跑去吃面包。➢Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence,whichworked.Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread..◆真题运用2:[2020.07浙江卷]P1段续写情节:(对着熊喷喷雾，熊返回来)熊更凶狠了。扩写加评价:(对着熊喷喷雾,熊返回来)喷雾对熊无用，只会让他更凶狠。➢基础:Thebearlookedangrier.➢改成:Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore...◆真题运用3:[2020.07浙江卷]P1段续写情节:(熊跑去吃面包)熊吃完又折回。扩写加评价:(熊跑去吃面包)不幸运的是/让他们失望的是，熊吃完又折回。➢Unfortunately/Totheirgreatdisappointment,thebearateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.◆真题运用4:[2021年全国1卷]P1段续写情节:(爸爸出现了)双胞胎按照爸爸说的做。扩写加评价:(爸爸出现了)双胞胎按照爸爸说的做,爸爸总是她们的大救星。➢基础:Thetwinsdidwhatwasinstructedbyfather.➢改成:Thetwinsdidwhatwasinstructedbyfather,whowasthemosttrustworthypersonalwaysingtotheirrescue.3.后悔感叹(当初就../要是..就好了)(句式:虚拟语气，should/shouldn'thavedone;ifonly)●常用句式1:“shouldhavedone当初就..”➢当初就应该做某事:Sbshouldhavedonesth.(实际没做)➢当初就不应该做某事:Sbshouldn'thavedonesth,E(实际做了)●常用句式2:“Ifonly要是...,就好了”➢要是某人有做过某事就好了:Ifonlysbhaddonesth.(对过去的假设)➢要是某人会去做某事就好了:Ifonlysbwoulddosth.(对将来的期望)◆真题运用1:[2021年全国1卷]*P1段续写情节:爸爸做好了早餐。*扩写构思:看着爸爸煮好的完美早餐,她们懊悔地想，早前应该先跟爸爸请教怎么做早餐的!➢Lookingattheperfectbreakfastcookedbytheirfather,theyremorsefullythought,theyshouldhaveaskedhimhowtomakebreakfastpreviously!➢或:Lookingattheperfectbreakfastcookedbytheirfather,theyremorsefullythought,ifonlytheyhadaskedhimhowtomakebreakfastpreviously!◆真题运用2:[2021年全国1卷]*P1段续写情节:妈妈享用了早餐。*扩写构思:妈妈开心地说，要是每天都可以吃到这么美味的早餐就好了!➢Momsaiddelightedly,ifonlyshecouldhavesuchadeliciousbreakfasteveryday!◆真题运用3:[2020.07浙江卷]*P1段续写情节:熊去湖里洗眼晴,返回来。*扩写构思:我懊悔地想，不应该惹怒它的,真是个糟糕的尝试。(+评价)➢RemorsefullyIthoughttomyself,weshouldn'thaveangeredit.Whataterribletry!◆真题运用4:[2020.07浙江卷]*P1段续写情节:扔面包分散熊的注意力，行动有用。*扩写构思:应该多准备一些面包的。➢Weshouldhavepreparedmorebread./Ifonlywehadpreparedmorebread.小总结后悔感叹(虚拟语气)●常用句式1:“shouldhavedone当初就..”➢当初就应该做某事:Sbshouldhavedonesth.(实际没做)➢当初就不应该做某事:Sbshouldn'thavedonesth,5(实际做了)●常用句式2:“Ifonly要是...,就好了”➢要是某人有做过某事就好了:Ifonlysbhaddonesth.(对过去的假设)➢要是某人会去做某事就好了:Ifonlysbwoulddosth.(对将来的期望)4、动作链(单动作，拆成多动作)(句式:动词排比/Doingsth,sbdosth./Havingdonesth,sbdosth.)动作链(拆分动作,一分为二/一分为三)●常用句式:sbdosth1,dosth2anddosth3.(非谓语)Doingsth,sbdosth./Havingdonesth,sbdosth.◆真题运用1:[2020.07浙江卷]*P2段续写情节:我们登上直升机，往下看发现熊吃了我们的食物。*扩写构思:熊终于冲破栅栏,吃到食物。(原文前面，有栅栏阻碍,所以它要先冲破栅栏，再冲向食物,吃到食物)➢Thebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.➢或:Finally,havingtorndownthefence,thebearrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.(最后，在拆毁了栅栏后，熊跑向我们留下的食物)◆真题运用2:[2020.07浙江卷]*P2段续写情节:Elli扔面包。*扩写构思:EIli抓起几块面包，瞄准远方，尽可能远地将它扔出栅栏。➢EIligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbread,aimedfarawayandthrewthemoverthefenceasfaraspossible.◆真题运用3:[2020.07浙江卷]*P2段续写情节