读后续写讲评教育亲子互动类（thealbum）讲义-高三英语作文复习写作专项

读后续写讲评教育、亲子互动类（thealbum）阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。ItwasalazySundaymorning,thetypeofdaythatgettingoutofbedrequiresaneffort.WhenMarilynandIenteredthekitchen,Loriwasalreadyatthetabledoingherhomework.Seeingusing,she,suddenly,stoodandfacedme,"WhyaretheremorepicturesofLisathanthereareofme?"sheasked.Lisaisourolderdaughter.Istaredback,notunderstandingthequestion.Loriturnedandlefttheroom.Caughtoffguardbythequestion,IlookedatMarilyn."AretheremorepicturesofLisathanofLori?"Marilynshruggedandraisedhereyebrowsinamotionofpuzzlement."AreyouawarethattherearemorepicturesofLisathanLori?"Iadded.Marilynsaid,"I’venevercountedthem.Idon'tknow."Marilyn'sanswerwasthesameasmythoughts,"Ihadn'trealizedthattherewasanysignificantdifference.NowwhywouldLoriasksuchaquestion?"Iasked.Marilynjustshookherheadandstaredbackatme.Afterafewminutesofthoughtshesaid,"WhenLisawasborn,youweretakingphotographs.Youhardlywentanywherewithoutacamera.WhenLoriwasborn,youwereinvolvedincoloredslides(幻灯片).TheremustbehundredsofslidesofLorisomewhereinthehousethatLorihasneverseenordoesn’tremember."AfterdigestingMarilyn’sremarks,Iagreed."AfterLorileaves,we'lllookforthoseslides.Whoknows,wemayfindmoreslidesofLorithanpicturesofLisa,"Ijoked.Laterthatafternoon,whenwewerealone,wewentintothebasementwherewehadstoredtheboxesthatwehadbroughtfromourprevioushome.Itwasn'tlongbeforewediscoveredthetraysofslides,andfortherestoftheafternoonwelookedateachtray,pointingoutthoseslidesthathighlightedLori."Whatareyougoingtodo?"Marilynasked."It’sherbirthdayinafewweeks,"Isaid,"We'llselectaboutonehundredslideswithLoriandconvertthemintopictures,putthemintoanalbumandgivetoherasagift.Idon'tknowifthealbumwillanswerherquestion,butatleastshe'llknowthatwecareenoughtofindherananswer."注意：1.续写字数应为150左右。2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides._________________________OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.___________________________________________________________________________Learningobjectives:Bytheendofthisperiod,studentsareexpectedto1.developagoodhabitofimprovingtheirworksafterwritingandhavetheabilitytodoit.2.haveabetterunderstandingofthegivenmaterialbyexploringthestory,thetheme,andthepossibleending.3.buildamorereasonableplotbyfocusingonthekeyinformationandclues.4.developtheabilitytogiveanobjectiveassessmentoftheirwritingbygettingsomeinformationaboutgradingcriteria5.Knowhowtoreviseandpolishuptheirwritingbygraspingsomepracticalskills.LeadinQ1.Howmuchtimedoyouspendoncontinuationwritingintheexam?Q2.Whatdoyouusuallydoafterwriting?Q3.Whatexactlyshouldwedoafterwriting?Firstdraft__________________________________________FinaldraftStep1Reread(Tip1圈划关键信息和重要情节，预测结局)ReadforthestoryReadforthethemeReadfortheending/echoWhoWhenWhereWhatThemeEnding/EchoStep2Rethink(Tip2根据提示句的关键词确定续写主要情节,使用正推+反推法列出简纲)Thinkabouttheplot（所见、所闻、所说、所做）Thinkabouttheemotion（所思所想）Para1:Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallofourslides.时间，地点，人物，人称情节（正推+反推）情感Para2:OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.时间，地点，人物，人称情节（正推）情感Step3Reflect(Tip3checklist自评/互评)评分要点：1）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度2）内容、语法结构、词汇的丰富性和准确性3）上下文和语句间的连贯性考查：阅读（读懂原文）、逻辑思维（情节设计）、写作能力（词汇句式）学生初稿Para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides.Wechosemanypiecesofslidesandconvertedthemintoalotsofdelicatepictures.InordertopreventusfrombeingfoundbyLori,wedidthemwhileLoriwassleeping.Ihopedthatitcanbeabigsurprise.Icautiouslyputthesedelicatepicturesintoanalbumandmakepreparationsforherbirthdayparty.Iinvitedherfriendsandtheywerealsowillingtohelpus.Everythingwasalready.Assessment:1)________________2)_________________3)___________________Para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Loriwasstillsleeping.ThenIsilentlyleftherroomandexceptedhowshewouldthink.WhenIcamehome,LorirantomeandgavemeIbighugandsaidtomehappily.“Mum,nowIhavemorepicturesandevenoverLisa.Iamveryhappy.Thanksmum.”Iwasalsoveryhappyandsaidtoher“Now,wecanstartyourbirthdaypartyandeatcakes.”Loriwasexcitedandjumpedaroundme.Assessment:1)________________2)_________________3)___________________Step4ReviseTips1.词汇和句型尽量不重复2.增加形容词和副词3.加入一些连词，增强连贯性4.使用定语从句和非谓语动词5.增加细节描写（所见、所闻、所说、所做、所想）微技能：1.心理描写我开心Iamhappy.(换主语）Asenseofdelight/happinessseizedme.(加并列）Asenseofdelightandexcitementseizedme.(加形容词/副词）Instantly,astrongsenseofdelightandexcitementseizedme.2.动作描写hugsb/givesbahug/throwone’sarmsaroundsbpatsbontheback/shoulder/headgently3.由“看/听/想”到动作/情绪/思绪看到面前可爱的小狗，男孩的脸上立刻焕发光彩。Seeingthecutedoginfront,theman’sfacelitupimmediately.听到我的话，他兴奋地跳了起来，点头同意。Atmywords,hejumpedtohisfeetwithexcitement.听到久违的笑声，我感到一股暖流涌上心头。Hearingthefamiliarlaughter,Ifeltasurgeofwarmthwellingupinmyheart.一想到这里，他决定改邪归正，把归还给失主。Atthethoughtofthis,hewasdeterminedtomendhiswaysandreturnittotheowner.修改润色Para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallourslides.Wechosemanypiecesofslidesandconvertedthemintodelicatepictures,__________remindedusofthe__________dayswithour______daughter(定从，形容词).Atthatmoment,__________________________________________________.(心理描写)InordertoavoidbeingdiscoveredbyLori,wedidthesewhileLoriwassleeping，________thatitcanbeabigsurpriseforher（非谓语).________(连词)allthepictures_________cautiously_________intothealbum,everythingwasready.（被动）Para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Ileftherroomsilently,______________howshewouldreactafterfindingthealbum(非谓语).WhenIcamehomeafterwork,Loriran__________（副词）tomeandgavemeabighug,_______________inadelightedtone,“Dad,Iloveyou!Thankyousomuchforeverythingyouhavedoneforme!”Upon__________________whatshesaid,I________________________________（动作描写）andletoutasighofrelief.Thenweopenedthethickalbumwhileenjoyingthedeliciouscake,laughter_________________thewholeroom.佳作赏析para1.Overthenextfewdays,wesecretlywentthroughallofourslides.WhilepickingouttheonesofLori,thesweetmemoriesfloodedback,remindingusofthehappylifewithourlovelydaughter.Atthatmoment,awaveofhappinessrippledovermyheart,tearsstreamingdownmyface.AfterthecarefulselectionMarilynhadthenconvertedintophotos.Itwasnotlongbeforethephotoswerereturnedandthenweplacedthemintoanalbum.Inaddition,Iattachedabirthdaycardtoitwiththeintentionoftellingherhowimportantsheistous.WithLori’sbirthdayapproaching,MarilynandIdecidedtohideituntilherbirthdayandgiveherabigsurprise.para2.OnNovember24,beforeleavingforwork,Iopenedherdoorandslippedthealbuminside.Afteraday’stiringwork,Idraggedmyfeetbackhome.Uponseeingmeback,Lorirushedstraighttowardsmeandthrewherarmsaroundme,sobbing.Then,atinyvoicecamefromher,“Iloveyou,Daddy.I’msorrytohavemisunderstoodyou.”Ihuggedhertightlyandpattedherontheback,sayinginafortingtone,“It’sOK,sweetheart.YouknowMommyandIloveyoutoo.”ItwasthenthatIrealizedIhadgottheanswerandourmessageoflovehadbeenreceived.