《四级写作评分标准》PPT课件.ppt

四级写作评分标准及范文点评 2009.4.15 作文题目： “Women in the Modern World” 提纲： 1. Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today 2. With the changes in their social role, womens position in the family has been improved as well. 3. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Long age, women only did something in the kitchen or at home. Now many of them have serious jobs to serve for people. What men can do so can women. Today in the family, the wife often lots her husband to do something at home bat ago, only women did something. Men are foned of doing something at home. Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened. In the factory the women to as much as the men, but they are paid less than the men. Some people have not completely realized the liberation of women. In today, many women have a work. They worked as well as men playing an important part in factories. There are many women in government also. They lead other people country, and make out plans. There are many scientist also. They event new things to improve our life. In ancient, womens position in family is pity. They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do. But now it is changed. They are equal to her husband. They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion thing with her husband, do what she wants to do. We also should realize, women liberty are limited. For example, many factories want men become its workers but the chance of women is less than men. Everyone should do their best to change this condition. Im sure, the liberation of women would be increased. Many Women today are playing an important part at works that was thought only could be done by the men before. For an example. Some women are not secretary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company. In the world today, more and more women have their own job. They get their own salary, and become more independent from their husband. With the economic situation improved, their family position is improving. Many husbands only want his wife to stay at home, and do house works or do some shopping. They only want their wife to be a housewife, but not a manager of a company. Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. More and more women go to work to earn money instead of keeping the house or looking after the children. Women have entered many fields of society including scientific field. As we know, many women sports teams have won the worlds champions such as Chinese womens Volleyball Team. With the changes in their social role, womens position in the family has been improved as well. Husbands are not the masters of wives in many places. Husbands and wives are equal now. They join together to overcome difficulties and share happiness. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Also in some places, women are considered being “thing” belong to men. They have little chance to find jobs. They dont get equal pay for equal job. This is a problem must be solved not only by society but also by women themselves. Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In Many countries, more and more women are acting as workers, farmers, scientists and even leaders. We can say that almost all jobs which men can do are done perfectly by women. Women are no longer looked down upon by society. With the changes in their social role, womens position in the family has been improved as well. Husband and wife are now equal in the family. They cope with problems of daily life together, and share happiness with each other. Also, you can hardly find out that in todays families, women are being busy with dinners, whereas men comfortably sitting in armchairs, reading newspapers. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. A number of men still jealously guard their rights, and regard women as incapable creature. Few women are allowed to attend important international meetings dominated by men. Thats really the problems we should solve immediately. 写作注意事项 1 大家拿到作文题目之后，先要仔细阅 读题目。最近几年的四级作文一般都是小 论文，并给出英文标题和三条中文提纲。 考生应该按照小论文的结构及提纲内容进 行写作。 一般可以提前至少5分钟拿到写作题，这时 候可以在心里构思作文结构，想出大致要 写的内容。 2 开始写作文时一定要段落清楚，有明显 的开头，主体和结论部分。也就是大家要 学会分段落，。 同时在文章写作过程中，一定要学会使用 一些句子之间以及引起和结束文章时候的 连接词（如表转折、递进、因果等），这 样的话可以使文章很自然，流畅。 一定要有开头和结尾，并且将开头和结尾 写漂亮。每段的起始句都要写好。 写文章时候可以适当用一些新颖一点的词 汇，这样可以给文章增加亮点。 适当用稍微复杂一点的句型，如定语从句 、强调句、倒装句、并列结构、名词性从 句、独立成分等。但要保证句子正确的基 础上使用。 不要用自己不明确和不会拼写的词，还有 一定要确保句子的正确性，尽量避免语法 结构的错误。 可以适当背一些好的表达和句型。基础差 一点的同学可以多套用；基础好的同学可 以少用。 注意文章的长度安排，文章宁可长，不可 短。也不要太长，以免犯太多错误。 卷面一定要整洁，字一定要写的干净工整 ，印象分数几乎全部是这个决定的 ，所以 大家也要主要平时handwriting的练习。我 阅卷的时候看到字迹不清楚的就大概打个 分数。 （2分段） 东方教育点评：条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有错误，有 的甚至影响理解。 具体问题剖析： (1)缺乏逻辑，东一句西一句，没有围绕中心论述，如第一段就没 有展开论述妇女社会角色的转变，说得太笼统而缺乏说服力。 （2）用汉语思维，句子有明显的汉语痕迹，如“What men can do so can women.”，应改为“Women can do what men can do” 。 （3）衔接不自然，没有用适当的关联词，如“Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened”，应改为 “The case that husband hits his wife often happens. ” （4）拼写错误很多，大部分句子均有错误。 （5分段） 东方教育点评：基本切题。但表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。有较 多的严重语言错误。 具体问题剖析： （1）各段围绕中心句论述不深入，没有说服力。 （2）衔接不自然，没有用适当的关联词，如第一段几个句子之 间可以用一些“besides”、“on the other hand”、“furthermore”、 “in addition”等。 （3）语言错误较多，很多句子不通顺，如“In today, many women have a work.”应改为“Today, many women get a job.”( 滥用介词)；“In ancient, womens position in family is pity”中 pity应改为pitiful（词形误用）；“They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do.”中every 改 为everything，how改为what（代词错误）；“They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion thing with her husband, do what she wants to do.”应改为“They have the right to express ideas, discuss things with their respective husband, and do what they want to.”(人称代词前后不一致)。