电影阿瓜和阿呆英文台词.doc

100:00:44,540 - 00:00:47,960Excuse me.Could you tell me how to get to the medical school?200:00:48,130 - 00:00:51,800Im supposed to be doing a lecture in 20 minutes, and my drivers a bit lost.300:00:53,300 - 00:00:58,300You go straight ahead and you make a left over the bridge.400:01:00,140 - 00:01:02,310Thats a lovely accent you have.500:01:02,470 - 00:01:04,220New Jersey?600:01:04,390 - 00:01:05,640Austria.700:01:05,810 - 00:01:07,520Austria?800:01:07,690 - 00:01:09,150well, then.900:01:09,310 - 00:01:11,150good day, mate.1000:01:12,150 - 00:01:15,610Lets put another shrimp on the barbie.1100:01:16,200 - 00:01:18,320Lets not.1200:02:10,060 - 00:02:11,9301300:02:41,530 - 00:02:44,240whos got the wiener schnitzel?1400:02:45,410 - 00:02:46,910Beautiful. There you go, Dolf.1500:02:47,080 - 00:02:49,330There you go, buddy. Yeah, enjoy.1600:02:50,420 - 00:02:54,840Lets see, next we got roast beef au jus.1700:02:55,420 - 00:02:57,210whos got the roast beef au jus?1800:02:57,380 - 00:02:59,420Stella, beautiful. Bon appetit, Stella.1900:03:00,760 - 00:03:03,300Yeah, walk away. Go on, go on.2000:03:03,800 - 00:03:06,260Last but not least, footlong.2100:03:06,430 - 00:03:09,220whos got the footlong?2200:03:09,390 - 00:03:11,890Very.Very funny, Rascal.2300:03:12,060 - 00:03:13,600Very funny. In your dreams.2400:03:13,770 - 00:03:17,440Harry, why havent you dropped those dogs off at the show yet?2500:03:17,610 - 00:03:21,650Sir, I didnt want to send them to a performance on an empty stomach, sir.2600:03:21,820 - 00:03:23,030Get a move on it.2700:03:23,200 - 00:03:26,370Yes, sir. Mutt Cutts. Ten-four.2800:03:47,390 - 00:03:49,140Suck me sideways.2900:04:02,400 - 00:04:04,860Hello.How are you?3000:04:11,660 - 00:04:14,370-Ill be out in one minute. -Okay.3100:04:42,860 - 00:04:44,650why you going to the airport?3200:04:44,820 - 00:04:46,820Flying somewhere?3300:04:47,280 - 00:04:50,160-Howd you guess? -well, I saw your luggage.3400:04:50,330 - 00:04:53,540Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put two and two together.3500:04:54,370 - 00:04:57,170-So where you headed? -Aspen.3600:04:57,630 - 00:05:01,170Mm. California. Beautiful.3700:05:04,010 - 00:05:06,880Names Christmas, Lloyd Christmas.3800:05:07,550 - 00:05:09,220Im Mary Swanson.3900:05:10,310 - 00:05:12,220This isnt my real job, you know.4000:05:12,390 - 00:05:13,560-No? -Nope.4100:05:13,730 - 00:05:17,350My friend Harry and I are saving up our money to open our own pet store.4200:05:17,520 - 00:05:18,560Thats nice.4300:05:19,860 - 00:05:21,360I Got worms.4400:05:22,030 - 00:05:24,780-I beg your pardon? -Thats what were gonna call it.4500:05:24,940 - 00:05:28,410I Got worms. were gonna specialize in selling worm farms.4600:05:28,570 - 00:05:30,570You know, like ant farms?4700:05:32,240 - 00:05:34,240whats the matter?4800:05:34,750 - 00:05:36,500A little tense about the flight?4900:05:37,920 - 00:05:39,750Something like that.5000:05:40,420 - 00:05:42,340Theres really nothing to worry about.5100:05:42,500 - 00:05:45,920Statistically, youre more likely to get killed on the way to the airport.5200:05:46,090 - 00:05:50,220Like in a head-on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck.5300:05:50,390 - 00:05:51,390Thats the worst.5400:05:52,720 - 00:05:54,560I have this cousin.well, I had this cousin. Hes like, pbbt.5500:05:55,980 - 00:05:58,190Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?5600:05:58,770 - 00:06:00,480Oh, yeah.5700:06:00,810 - 00:06:02,150Good thinking.5800:06:02,320 - 00:06:03,650Cant be too careful.5900:06:03,820 - 00:06:05,940Lot of bad drivers out there.6000:06:13,410 - 00:06:14,620Hey, watch it!6100:06:23,090 - 00:06:24,880Okay, gang. You know the rules.6200:06:25,050 - 00:06:27,420No humping, no pushing, no sniffing heinies.6300:06:27,590 - 00:06:28,800where have you been?6400:06:28,970 - 00:06:31,470My dogs were supposed to be here 40 minutes ago.6500:06:31,640 - 00:06:33,890Now, I hardly have any time to primp them.6600:06:34,060 - 00:06:36,350Dont worry about a thing, Mrs. Neugyburger.6700:06:36,520 - 00:06:38,430-Neugeboren. -Neu.Neu.Neu.6800:06:38,600 - 00:06:40,060-Boren. -Boren. These pooches.6900:06:40,230 - 00:06:43,650are not gonna need primping. You know why? Because I bathed them.7000:06:43,820 - 00:06:45,270and I clipped them myself.7100:06:45,440 - 00:06:48,190And I stand by my performance.7200:06:59,330 - 00:07:02,170On second thought, you might wanna run a comb through them.7300:07:02,460 - 00:07:04,460The white zone is for.7400:07:04,630 - 00:07:07,340the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.7500:07:07,510 - 00:07:09,090No parking.7600:07:11,300 - 00:07:15,760-Thanks. Here you go. -Oh, no, Mary.7700:07:16,430 - 00:07:18,310I couldnt possibly accept that.7800:07:18,470 - 00:07:20,680Not after all weve been through.7900:07:23,860 - 00:07:26,110Thank you, Lloyd.8000:07:26,440 - 00:07:29,150-Good luck with your worms. -Thanks.8100:07:32,530 - 00:07:34,030How about a hug?8200:07:34,200 - 00:07:39,120The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.8300:07:39,290 - 00:07:40,830No parking.8400:07:50,880 - 00:07:53,380I hate goodbyes.8500:08:00,560 - 00:08:02,890-Uh, Lloyd. -Shh.8600:08:04,020 - 00:08:05,810Just go.8700:08:27,500 - 00:08:30,130Be strong.8800:08:43,890 - 00:08:47,690Mr. Dan Richard, please pick up the white courtesy phone.8900:08:47,860 - 00:08:52,730Mr.Dan Richard, please pick up the white courtesy phone.9000:08:52,900 - 00:08:55,740Shes gonna leave the briefcase near the escalator.9100:08:55,910 - 00:08:59,530-You make the pickup. -Piece of cake.9200:09:07,960 - 00:09:09,460Goodbye, my love9300:09:16,720 - 00:09:18,130Bye.9400:09:19,350 - 00:09:23,560passenger warren passion, please pick up the white courtesy phone.9500:09:23,720 - 00:09:25,100You have a message.9600:09:25,270 - 00:09:27,270passenger warren passion.9700:09:34,150 - 00:09:35,400Mary!9800:09:37,280 - 00:09:39,320Theres our payday.9900:09:40,830 - 00:09:43,740-She left it. Lets go. -Excuse me.10000:09:43,910 - 00:09:46,000Coming through.10100:09:48,120 - 00:09:50,580Move it or lose it, sister.10200:10:12,570 - 00:10:14,400Hold that plane!10300:10:14,570 - 00:10:16,610Sir, you cant go in there.10400:10:16,780 - 00:10:18,490Its okay.10500:10:18,650 - 00:10:20,990Im a limo driver.10600:10:49,480 - 00:10:51,900-Hi, Lloyd. -Hi, Harry.10700:10:52,900 - 00:10:54,060How was your day?10800:10:54,230 - 00:10:57,030Not bad. Fell off the Jetway again.10900:11:03,740 - 00:11:06,910who the hell do you figure this guys working for, anyway?11000:11:07,240 - 00:11:08,870I dont know.11100:11:10,620 - 00:11:13,210but we sure as hell better find out.11200:11:17,710 - 00:11:20,880-The ulcer? -Ill live.11300:11:29,060 - 00:11:32,020-So you got fired again, huh? -Oh, yeah.11400:11:32,770 - 00:11:36,310They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?11500:11:37,900 - 00:11:40,280Yeah, well, I lost my job too.11600:11:41,110 - 00:11:45,950Man, you are one pathetic loser.11700:11:47,120 - 00:11:50,040-No offense. -No. None taken.11800:11:55,130 - 00:11:57,460You know what really chaffs my ass, though?11900:11:57,630 - 00:12:01,130I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog.12000:12:01,720 - 00:12:02,970Hi, Petey.12100:12:03,130 - 00:12:06,800-The alarm alone cost me 200. -Hey, chicks love it.12200:12:06,970 - 00:12:08,930Its a shagging wagon.12300:12:10,140 - 00:12:12,140whats with the briefcase?12400:12:15,940 - 00:12:17,310Its a love memento.12500:12:17,480 - 00:12:20,320The most beautiful woman alive.12600:12:20,610 - 00:12:25,860I drove her to the airport, sparks flew, emotions ran high.12700:12:26,320 - 00:12:27,820She actually talked to me, man.12800:12:29,160 - 00:12:31,870-Get out of here. -Oh, yeah. Yeah.12900:12:32,040 - 00:12:33,040Tractor beam.13000:12:34,370 - 00:12:36,000Sucked me right in.13100:12:36,500 - 00:12:38,080Anyway.13200:12:39,500 - 00:12:44,130she left this in the terminal and flew to Aspen and out of my life.13300:12:44,880 - 00:12:46,510whats in it?13400:12:48,350 - 00:12:50,890Man, I would have to be a lowlife.13500:12:51,060 - 00:12:53,850to go rooting around in somebody elses private property.13600:12:54,020 - 00:12:55,020ls it locked?13700:12:55,190 - 00:12:57,350Yeah, really well.13800:13:05,700 - 00:13:08,240Theres two of them. One of thems got a gun.13900:13:09,870 - 00:13:12,160Did you pay the gas bill?14000:13:14,370 - 00:13:16,710-Hey. -Do you realize what youve done?14100:13:16,870 - 00:13:19,710Im sorry. I say we bail.14200:13:20,040 - 00:13:21,630Okay.14300:13:30,220 - 00:13:33,560Briefcase aint here. He must have taken it with him.14400:13:34,430 - 00:13:36,140well, hes gotta come home sometime.14500:13:36,310 - 00:13:39,650Maybe we should trash the place, send him a little message.14600:13:41,150 - 00:13:43,320I dont think hes gonna get that message, Joe.14700:13:43,480 - 00:13:45,860I mean, the guys got worms in his living room.14800:13:46,030 - 00:13:47,650Yeah.14900:13:48,110 - 00:13:50,620Oh, I got a better idea.15000:13:53,700 - 00:13:55,580I thought I saw a pussy cat.15100:13:55,750 - 00:13:59,420Oh, I did. I did. Come here.15200:14:14,770 - 00:14:18,940I cant believe we drove around all day and theres not a single job in this town.15300:14:19,100 - 00:14:21,020There is nothing, nada, zip.15400:14:21,190 - 00:14:24,020Yeah, unless you wanna work 40 hours a week.15500:14:24,190 - 00:14:26,400-Pbbt. -Here.15600:14:26,570 - 00:14:28,070Im gonna go to the store.15700:14:28,240 - 00:14:31,320Okay, just get the bare essentials. Thats the last of our dough.15800:14:31,490 - 00:14:33,870Hey, what do I look like?15900:15:10,780 - 00:15:12,660Cripes.16000:15:21,330 - 00:15:23,750Excuse me, little old lady.16100:15:29,420 - 00:15:33,640-Do you have change of a dollar? -Change? No, Im sorry, I dont.16200:15:35,050 - 00:15:38,810well, could you do me a favor and watch my stuff here.16300:15:38,970 - 00:15:40,350while I go break a dollar?16400:15:40,520 - 00:15:43,480-Of course. -Thanks.16500:15:44,940 - 00:15:46,110I guess theyre right.16600:15:46,270 - 00:15:49,940Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel.16700:15:50,110 - 00:15:52,570can still serve a purpose.16800:15:53,030 - 00:15:56,530Ill be right back. Dont you go dying on me.16900:16:03,290 - 00:16:04,540wheres the booze?17000:16:05,330 - 00:16:09,630I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart.17100:16:09,800 - 00:16:12,170I didnt even see it coming.17200:16:14,180 - 00:16:17,510-Harry. -No.17300:16:17,680 - 00:16:19,060Come on, Harry.17400:16:19,220 - 00:16:22,230-Cheer up. -It gets worse, Lloyd.17500:16:22,390 - 00:16:24,690My parakeet, Petey?17600:16:24,850 - 00:16:26,060Yeah?17700:16:26,230 - 00:16:27,940Hes dead.17800:16:31,990 - 00:16:34,070Oh, man. Im sorry, Harry.17900:16:34,240 - 00:16:36,200what happened?18000:16:36,780 - 00:16:38,910His head fell off.18100:16:39,080 - 00:16:40,990His head fell off?18200:16:41,160 - 00:16:43,450Yeah, he was pretty old.18300:16:47,920 - 00:16:49,420Thats it.18400:16:49,590 - 00:16:51,960Ive had it with this dump!18500:16:52,130 - 00:16:55,170we got no food, we got no jobs.18600:16:55,340 - 00:16:57,180our pets, heads are falling off!18700:16:57,340 - 00:17:01,760-Okay, just calm down. -what the hell are we doing here, Harry?18800:17:01,930 - 00:17:03,600we gotta get out of this town.18900:17:03,770 - 00:17:06,270Yeah, and go where? where are we gonna go?19000:17:06,850 - 00:17:08,770Ill tell you where.19100:17:09,110 - 00:17:11,020Someplace warm.19200:17:11,190 - 00:17:13,990A place where the beer flows like wine.19300:17:14,150 - 00:17:17,780where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.19400:17:19,950 - 00:17:24,040Im talking about a little place called Aspen.19500:17:25,210 - 00:17:27,620I dont know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.19600:17:28,710 - 00:17:30,460wait a minute.19700:17:32,130 - 00:17:34,630wait a minute. I know what youre up to, mister.19800:17:35,300 - 00:17:39,970Yeah, you just wanna go to Aspen and find that girl who lost her briefcase.19900:17:40,140 - 00:17:43,260and you need me to drive you there, right?20000:17:43,430 - 00:17:47,810-Am I right? Am I right? Am I right, Lloyd? -Yeah. So? Yeah. So?20100:17:47,980 - 00:17:50,270So I wanna go someplace where we know somebody.20200:17:50,440 - 00:17:52,440who can plug us into the social pipeline.20300:17:52,610 - 00:17:54,980No. No, no, no, Lloyd.20400:17:55,150 - 00:17:58,860No. I say we stay here, we hunt for jobs and we keep saving our money.20500:17:59,030 - 00:18:01,370for the worm store.20600:18:01,530 - 00:18:04,200I dont know about you, but I am getting sick and tired.20700:18:04,370 - 00:18:05,830of running from creditors.20800:18:07,160 - 00:18:09,830You know what Im sick and tired of, Harry?20900:18:11,590 - 00:18:14,670Im sick and tired of having to eke my way through life.21000:18:19,260 - 00:18:21,180Im sick and tired of being a nobody.21100:18:23,010 - 00:18:24,930But most of all.21200:18:29,560 - 00:18:32,520Im sick and tired of having nobody.21300:18:35,650 - 00:18:37,570Okay, Lloyd.21400:18:41,030 - 00:18:42,320Aspen it is.21500:18:46,200 - 00:18:48,700Youd better not be fooling.21600:18:54,880 - 00:18:57,090Okay, okay.21700:18:57,340 - 00:19:00,630Just let it out. Have a good cry. Come on.21800:19:01,680 - 00:19:03,050Okay.21900:19:05,560 - 00:19:07,640Okay, thats enough.22000:19:45,890 - 00:19:47,560Lloyd, what are you doing?22100:19:47,720 - 00:19:50,470It feels like youre running at an incredible rate, Harry.22200:19:50,640 - 00:19:52,600Quit it. were not through Connecticut.22300:19:52,770 - 00:19:55,520-and already youre annoying me. -Im sorry.22400:19:55,940 - 00:19:58,440were really doing it, though, arent we, buddy?22500:20:00,190 - 00:20:01,940Hey, where did you get those?22600:20:02,110 - 00:20:04,280I bought them when we filled up.22700:20:04,950 - 00:20:08,700But wait, but you.were supposed to talk about all expenditures, Lloyd.22800:20:08,870 - 00:20:11,160we are on a very tight budget.22900:20:11,330 - 00:20:13,460This didnt come out of our travel fund.23000:20:13,620 - 00:20:17,790No, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.23100:20:18,670 - 00:20:20,630where did you get 25 extra bucks?23200:20:21,510 - 00:20:24,220I sold some stuff to Billy in 4C.23300:20:25,340 - 00:20:29,010-The blind kid? -Yeah.23400:20:29,510 - 00:20:30,560Yeah.23500:20:31,180 - 00:20:32,810what did you sell him, Lloyd?23600:20:34,690 - 00:20:35,980Stuff.23700:20:36,150 - 00:20:38,150what kind of stuff?23800:20:38,650 - 00:20:39,860I dont know.23900:20:40,030 - 00:20:43,240A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles.24000:20:43,400 - 00:20:44,650Petey.24100:20:45,820 - 00:20:47,320Petey?24200:20:47,490 - 00:20:50,660You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?24300:20:51,160 - 00:20:54,160Lloyd, the.That.You.what are you.?24400:20:54,500 - 00:20:56,330Petey didnt even have a head.24500:20:56,500 - 00:20:57,750Harry.24600:20:57,920 - 00:21:00,040I took care of it.24700:21:02,710 - 00:21:04,130Pretty bird.24800:21:04,300 - 00:21:06,180Yeah, can you say pretty bird?24900:21:06,340 - 00:21:07,970Pretty bird.25000:21:08,140 - 00:21:10,890Yes, pretty bird.25100:21:11,060 - 00:21:12,970Pretty bird.25200:21:16,520 - 00:21:17,850Polly want a cracker?2