Gender Difference in Non-verbal Communication.docx

gender difference in non-verbal communicationabstract: researches have revealed that there exist a great number of gender differences in the use and interpretation of nonverbal behaviors in cross-cultural communication. this thesis analyzes gender differences in nonverbal communication, especially those reflected by such nonverbal behaviors as gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, touch, silence, etc. and discusses the reasons that account for the gender differences in nonverbal communication, indicating that gender differences in nonverbal behaviors are mainly influenced by gender stereotyping and social-cultural factors. the thesis also puts forward strategies for raising awareness of gender differences in nonverbal communication. it points out that to avoid the frustration, hurt, and misunderstandings in nonverbal communication between men and women, we need to recognize and respect the gender differences and to be tolerant of and open and flexible to the gender differences in nonverbal communication, and only in this way, can we improve the effectiveness of nonverbal communication between genders. key words: nonverbal communication gender differences social-cultural factors非言语交际中的性别差异摘要：非言语交际研究表明男女在使用和理解非言语交际行为方面存在很大的性别差异。本文通过对比、分析男女在手势、面部表情、眼触、体触、沉默等非言语交际行为中表现出的性别差异，探讨了非言语交际行为中男女性别差异形成的原因，认为男女非言语交际行为差异主要受到性别、社会文化因素的影响。本文论述了认识、了解非言语交际行为中性别差异的意义，提出了提高认识非言语交际中男女性别差异的策略，指出只有接受性别差异的存在，学会包容和尊重，才能在和异性交流时提高有效性。关键词：非言语交际 性别差异 社会文化因素1 introductionnonverbal communication refers to communication that is independent of a formal language, in which ideas and concepts can be expressed without the use of coherent labels. gender is defined as a set of “acts” or social performances that people are repeatedly compelled to enact so that they “produce the appearance of substance, of a natural sort of being” (berisoff & merrill, 2007, p269). gender exerts a powerful influence on our everyday interaction. there is a growing body of evidence suggesting that men and women use and interpret nonverbal communication differently. for example, women smile and laugh more than men (hall, 1984). women are better encoders and decoders of nonverbal messages (hall, 1978, 1984), especially of facial expressions (rosenthal, hall, dimatteo, roger, & archer, 1979). women use nonverbal behaviors to make personal connections, while men tend to use nonverbal behaviors to parallel behaviors associated with dominance and power. this thesis aims to discuss the gender differences reflected by such nonverbal behaviors as gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, touch, silence, etc. and explores the reasons that account for the gender differences and put forward strategies of raising awareness of gender differences in nonverbal communication.2. an analysis of gender differences in nonverbal communication2.1 gender differences in kinesicskinesics is a term for body language, which refers to any little movement of any part of the body. it involves various kinds of gestures, facial expressions and eye contact. in kinesics, there exist perceived gender differences. the use of gestures by women and men is different so much so that masculinity and femininity can be distinguished on the basis of gestures alone. women discriminate in their use of gestures. they use fewer gestures with other women and more with men, while men use more gestures than women and they do not discriminate between male and female partners in their use of gestures (peterson, 1975). besides, women play with their hair or clothing, place their hands in their lap, and tap their hands more frequently than men. men stretch the hands, crack the knuckles, and use arms to lift the body from a chair or table more frequently. they exhibit greater leg and foot movement, including tapping their feet (shuter, 1979). facial expressions play an important role in nonverbal communication. they provide corrective feedback to speakers, express emotions, and demonstrate responsiveness or involvement. many studies tell us that women use more facial expressions and are more expressive than men. they are more skilled at both sending and interpreting facial expressions than men, as it is acceptable, even encouraged in many cultures, for girls and women to be emotionally expressive. on the other hand, gender-role expectations of boys and men are different. they are taught that suppressing most emotions is proper masculine behavior. therefore men may see nonverbal communication of emotion as relatively unimportant and do not convey their emotions through their faces as much as women, while women see nonverbal expression as worthy of their attention. smiling is a specific facial expression. considerable research suggests that, compared with men, women smile more. they are also more apt to return smiles and more attracted to others who smile. they smile even when they are unhappy, which is due to socialized rules that women need to be more expressive. if they fail to do so, they are evaluated more harshly than men. womens smiles, to some extend, are just a respond of politeness, friendliness, approachability, or just to keep the interaction flowing smoothly. sometimes it is even meaningless. if men are not aware of it, misunderstandings would occur. another research shows that women are more likely to be interrupted when smiling while men are more likely to interrupt speakers who are smiling. this difference reflects mens dominant and womens submissive position. eye contact is also involved in kinesics. it can indicate either positive affect and liking or anger and threat, which depends on the context and other nonverbal cues accompanying it. most studies show that women engage in more eye contact in conversation and usually maintain a gaze longer than do men. however, women are less likely to stare at someone. generally they are the first to avert eyes on initial gaze and break eye contact more. they are more likely to be interrupted when eye contact is not maintained with the next speaker. on the contrary, men are simply less likely to make the eye contact, but when they do, they may get “locked in” without realizing that eye contact is being returned. these differences in eye contact reveal status or dominance. generally, more dominant individuals receive more eye contact than less dominant ones (weitz, 1976). more specifically, more dominant people gaze less while listening and gaze more while speaking and vice versa (hall, 1984). as women are not part of the powerful group, they are required to monitor the members of powerful group to check the appropriateness of the behavior. their traditionally subordinate position in the culture necessitates more eye contact. 2.2 gender differences in hapticshaptics means touch, including hug, kiss, handshake, hit, kick, etc. touch conveys the messages about what we are thinking and feeling. the perceived meaning of a given touch is dependent not only on the nature of the touch but also on the situation and the relationship between the individuals.gibson (1962) classified interpersonal touching as active and passive. men are considerably more active than women in touching. leathers (1986, p. 137) notes that “in both intimate and professional relationships men are expected to touch women more frequently than they are touched by women, and they do so.” certain touches appear to be offered in order to help create or maintain a sense of affiliation between individuals. sometimes affinitive touches represent acknowledgment of relationship between the individuals, and they are closely tied to an emotionally charged event. major (1980) claims that women report more affinitive touching than men across relationships and situations, particularly with members of the same sex. women touch children, the elderly and disabled more often than men.so when asked who touches more, male or female, the experts had mixed opinions on the subject. hanna and wilson (1998) felt that women touch others less than men do. but burgoon, buller and woodall (1996) have concluded that women give and receive more touches than men (except when initiating courtship). they explain that touch is considered a feminine-appropriate behavior and a masculine-inappropriate one. mothers touch female infant more than male infant and female children desire and offer more non-aggressive touch than male children.handshake is the most widely used ritual touch in our daily interaction. it is impressive to note that men usually accomplish handshake with little difficulty, which indicates its prevalence and importance in the male arena. but many women still encounter some difficulty in accomplishing handshake. as women begin to move into political and professional circles, the female-female and male-female handshakes will undoubtedly be accomplished with greater ease. nevertheless, at present, “the ritual handshake seems more easily and widely practiced by men” (henley, 1986, p. 110).2.3 gender differences in proxemicsthe study of how to react to space around us, how we use that space and how our use of space communicates certain information is known as proxemics. people transmit messages by placing themselves in certain spatial relationship with other persons or objects. individuals become more disturbed when others stand too close than when they stand too far away. in general, women require more personal space than men. women are approached and approach others more closely and they discriminate more about whom they approach, and their approach creates less anxiety (pearson, turner, & william, 1991).space and territory also express attitudes toward status, dominance, affection and attraction. in studies on the power between women and men, henley (1986) claimed that men superiors tend to enlarge their personal territory, keep small distance with others, and approach closely and intrude directly. on the contrary, women inferiors tend to shorten their personal territory. they stand far away and back up when others approach.the responses to invasion of space are different between men and women. fisher and byrne (1975) found that women are least comfortable with side-by-side invasions. men are least comfortable with frontal invasion. in other words, women prefer side-by-side conversations, while men prefer face-to-face conversations. to some extent, men are more likely to invade others space. women are less likely to invade and they will retreat, instead of challenging, when are invaded. this may be attributed to societal morms for maintaining “appropriate” distance: “people expect men to keep large distances, and when they do not, it may be disturbing”(borisoff & merrill, 2007, p.270)2.4 gender differences in silencemen and women hold different views towards silence in communication. in mens eyes, silence means action, privities, meditation and stateliness. they would not talk just for the sake of speaking. on the contrary, to women, silence means avoiding communication, ignoring others, refusing others and feeling dissatisfied with somebody. for this reason, women always search different kinds of methods to supply the gap in communication caused by silence. gray (1996, p. 69) stated, “the biggest challenge for women is to interpret and support a man correctly when he isnt talking. silence is most easily misinterpreted by women.” when a man is silent, a woman usually imagine the worst because a woman would be silent when what she has to say would be hurtful or when she doesnt want to talk to the person whom she doesnt trust anymore or doesnt want to have anything to do with. women become insecure when a man suddenly becomes quiet. as a matter of fact, men become quiet for a variety of reasons: he needs to think about a problem and find a practical solution to the problem; he doesnt have an answer to a question or a problem; he has become upset or stressed; he needs to find himself, etc. if women cannot understand the nature of mens silence or men cannot perceive the importance of talking for women, misunderstandings happen and cannot be avoided.3. strategies for raising awareness of gender differences in nonverbal communication3.1 being aware of gender differences in nonverbal communicationas stated above, differences exist between men and women in nonverbal communication. it is of great importance to be aware of gender differences; otherwise, problems may arise. researchers have found that men typically consider more than 25 female gestures provocative: tossing hair, staring straight into a mans eyes, glancing sideways and then demurely dropping her eyes, rubbing her arm, smiling, touching a man, repeatedly crossing and uncrossing her legs, etc. as a result, men tend to interpret almost any behavior as more charged with sexual meaning than women do. thus the so-called sexual harassment happened because they misunderstood each other for not knowing the different meanings of nonverbal behaviors. take the following as an example:in the casual, campus-like setting of a giant software company, one of the most popular managers was a gregarious guy who would frequently put his arm around his assistants shoulders and pull her toward him. after six month, she complained about his conduct. “the manager was stunned,” says herron, who was called in to deal with the issue. he thought he was being a warm, supportive boss. but his assistant did not like being touched by the man who had power over her career (agonito, 2000, p. 156). as gender differences in nonverbal communication can result in misunderstandings or even conflicts between different sexes socially, professionally and intimately, both men and women must accept the existence of gender differences and try to explore constructively what is happening and how we mingt better understand each other. only in this way, can we avoid misunderstandings caused by gender differences.3.2 learning to be tolerantmen and women share a series of crucial characteristics that link us together. the similarities are important in helping us look for common ground as a way of deciding how to treat other people regardless of their culture. the similarities unite us and make us one community in a very real sense. for example, all people love music and art, play and have sports, tell stories and jokes, and search for ways to be happy; all people seek to avoid physiological and psychological pain while searching for some degree of tranquility in life. both men and women not only have similarities in feelings and experiences, but share some universal values such as racial harmony, peaceful dispute resolution, and respect for the environment. however, men and women behave according to two separate sets of rules about what “right” is. the two gender cultures are different in many ways. we should be tolerant to these cultural differences, keeping in mind that we are both alike and different. we should grant similarities and recognize differences. by learning that men and women are different, we can become more sensitive to the fact that men and womens values and goals may differ, and generally their nonverbal behaviors will vary as well. instead of becoming annoyed by a males aggressive communication style, we should recognize that it is a style which is as much a part of his identity as an ethnic cuisine or a religious tradition and is part of culture. by accepting and appreciating both, we can better assess the potential consequences of our acts and be more tolerant of the others.3.3 learning to respectmen and women live in different worlds, and they are from different cultures. berisoff & merrill (2007) have examined womens and mens use and interpretation of space, height, touch, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact. they have found that the gender-differentiated nonverbal behaviors are related to a given societys gender expectations. they are learned rather than innate, and they become part of an individuals experience as a “gendered self”. people usually view others from their own perspective, since judgment cannot be made without individuals experience. when people offer judgment, they often have a stereotype, which refers to a specific kind of frozen evaluation in communication. however, it is awareness and respect rather than evaluation that value the nonverbal communication between genders. plato says, “no law or ordinance is more than understanding” (samovar & mills, 1998, p. 75). communication demands that the sender of a message knows the hearer so that he or she can predict how that hearer will respond to a particular message. in nonverbal communication, we need to remind ourselves there is a logic and validity to both feminine and masculine communication styles. it is inappropriate to apply a single criterioneither masculine or feminineto both genres communication. instead, we need to realize different goals, priorities, and standards pertain to each. furthermore, we should respect gender differences. a successful communicator should be aware of others, care for them, respect them, and should not be pre-occupied with thoughts over them.3.4 learning to be open and flexibleandersen(2007) has examined gender as a cultural dimension. each culture has its own way of communication. studying other cultures communication teaches us not only about other cultures, but also about ourselves. if we are open to learning and growing, we can enlarge our own communication repertoire by incorporating skills more emphasized in other cultures. according to kim, learning how to be open and flexible helps “facilitate strangers” adapted to new situation by enabling them to endure stressful challenges and maximize learning (samovar & porter, 1995, p. 264). openness implies a willingness to accept gender differences and is not closed to new ideas. flexibility means a willingness to use various