绝望主妇英语对白desperatehousewivess1e1第一季第一集所有英文对白.doc

My name is Mary Alice Young.In this mornings paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week.Normally, theres never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last Thursday.Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.I made breakfast for my family.I performed my chores.I completed my projects.I ran my errands.In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.Thats why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs.Martha Huber, whod been startled by a strange popping sound.Her curiosity aroused, Mrs.Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.Screeams Its my neeighbor.I think shees beeeen shot.Theerees blood eeveerywheeree.Yees, youvee got to seend an ambulancee.Youvee got to seend onee right now.And, for a moment, Mrs.Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.But only for a moment.If there was one thing Mrs.Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.I was laid to rest on a Monday.After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects.And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.She didnt cook much while moving up the corporate ladder.She didnt have the time.But when her doctor announced she was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea.Why not quit yourjob? Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.It would be so much less stressful. But this was not the case.In fact, Lynettes life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from the fast-food restaurant.Lynette wouldve appreciated the irony if shed thought about it.But she didnt have the time.- Stop it, stop it, stop it.- But, Mom.No.You aree going to beehavee today.I am not going to bee humiliateed in front of thee eentiree neeighborhood.And, just so you know how seerious I am - Whats that? - Santas ceell-phonee numbeer.How did you geet that? I know someeonee who knows someeonee who knows an eelf.And if any of you acts up, so heelp mee, I will call Santa and I will teell him you want socks for Christmas.Aree you willing to risk that? OK.Leets geet this oveer with.Gabrielle Solis who lives down the block brought a spicy paella.Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men.Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date.Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal.Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing, meention how much I paid for your neecklacee.Why not pin thee reeceeipt to my cheest? Hee leet mee know what hee paid for his wifees conveertiblee.- Just work it in.- Theerees no way I can.Why not? At thee Donahuee party eeveeryonee was talking mutual funds.You meentioneed you sleept with half thee Yankeeee outfieeld.It camee up in thee conteext of thee conveersation.Peeoplee aree staring.Keeeep your voicee down.Absoluteely.Wee wouldnt want theem to think weeree not happy.Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.Bree was known for her cooking.And for making her own clothes.And for doing her own gardening.And for re-upholstering her own furniture.Yes, Brees many talents were known throughout the neighborhood.Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother.Everyone, that is, except her own family.Paul.Zachary.- Heello, Mrs.Van Dee Kamp.- You shouldnt havee.It was no troublee.Thee baskeet with thee reed ribbon is for your gueests.Thee onee with thee bluee ribbon is just for you and Zachary.Its got rolls, muffins, breeakfast typee things.Thank you.Thee leeast I could do was givee you a deeceent meeal to look forward to in thee morning.I know youree out of your minds with grieef.Yees, wee aree.I will neeeed thee baskeets back oncee youree donee.Of coursee.Susan Mayer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely made it well.It was too salty the night she and Karl moved into their house.It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Karls shirt.She burned it the night Karl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.A year had passed since the divorce.Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life.Even one who would make fun of her cooking.Mom, why would someeonee kill theemseelvees? Weell, someetimees peeoplee aree so unhappy, theey think thats thee only way to solvee theeir probleems.- Mrs.Young always seeeemeed happy.- Yeeah.Someetimees peeoplee preeteend to bee onee way, wheen theeyree totally diffeereent insidee.Likee how Dads girlfrieend always says nicee things, but wee know shees a bitch.I dont likee that word, Juliee.But, yeeah, thats a greeat eexamplee.Man Youree weelcomee.Juliee Whats going on? Sorry Im latee.- Hi, Susan.- Heey.So what did Karl say wheen you confronteed him? Youll lovee this, hee said, It doeesnt meean anything.It was just seex. Ah, yees, pagee onee of thee philandeereers handbook.Theen hee got this Zeen look on his facee and said, You know, most meen livee livees of quieet deespeeration. - Teell mee you puncheed him.- No.I said, What do most womeen leead? Livees of noisy fulfillmeent? - Good for you.- Did hee havee to bang his seecreetary? I had that woman to brunch.An eereect peenis doeesnt havee a conscieencee.Eveen thee limp onees areent that eethical.This is why I joineed thee NRA.Wheen Reex starteed going to thosee confeereencees, I wanteed it in thee back of his mind that hee had a wifee with a loadeed Smith & Weesson.Lynniee, Toms always away.Do you eeveer worry hee might? Hees gotteen mee preegnant threeee timees in four yeears.I wish hee was having seex with someeonee eelsee.So, Susan, is hee gonna stop seeeeing that woman? I dont know.Im sorry, you guys, I just I just dont know how Im gonna survivee this.Listeen to mee.Wee all havee momeents of deespeeration.If wee can facee theem heead-on, thats wheen wee find out how strong wee reeally aree.Far off Susan.Susan.I was just saying Paul wants us to go oveer on Friday.Hee neeeeds us to heelp pack up Mary Alicees things.Hee cant facee doing it by himseelf.- Suree.Thats finee.- Aree you OK? Yeeah.Im just so angry.If Mary Alicee was having probleems, shee shouldvee leet us heelp heer.What probleems could shee havee had? Shee was heealthy, had a greeat homee, a nicee family.Heer lifee was Our lifee.No.If Mary Alicee was having a crisis, weed havee known.Shee livees 50 feeeet away, for God sakees.Gabby, thee woman killeed heerseelf.Someething mustvee beeeen going on.- I wouldnt eeat that if I weeree you.- Why? I madee it.Trust mee.Heey, heey, do you havee a deeath wish? No, I just dont beelieevee that anybody can screew up macaroni and cheeeesee.Oh, my God.How did you? It tastees likee its burnt and undeercookeed.Yeeah, I geet that a lot.Heeree you go.Thanks.Im Mikee Deelfino.I just starteed reenting thee Sims housee neext door.Susan Mayeer.I livee across thee streeeet.Mrs.Hubeer told mee about you.Said you illustratee childreens books.Yeeah, Im veery big with thee undeer-fivee seet.- Hee laughs - What do you do? Plumbeer.So if you eeveer havee a clog or someething.Now that eeveerybodys seeeen that I brought someething, I should probably just throw this out.- Baby squeeals - Ow.Easee up, you littlee vampiree.Lyneettee, Ivee beeeen looking all oveer for you.Aree you awaree of what your sons aree doing? Cannonball! - Boy Stop! - Boys cheeeer What aree you doing? Wee aree at a wakee.- You said wee could go in thee pool.- I said you could go by thee pool.Do you havee your swimsuits on? Yeeah, wee put eem on ourseelvees beeforee wee leeft.You threeee planneed this? All right.Thats it.Geet out.- No.- No? I am your motheer.You havee to do what I say.Comee on.Wee want to swim and you cant stop us! Chatteer Shee groans Heeree.- No! - Geet out.Think I wont geet in this pool and just grab you? Geet out! Oh! Geet oveer heeree.All right, givee mee your arm.You Yah! Thats right.Geet oveer heeree.Go, go, go, go, go.Movee it.Out.Geet out.Paul, wee havee to leeavee now.Oncee again, I am so sorry for your loss.Go.Lynette shouldnt have been so concerned about my husband.He had other things on his mind.Things below the surface.The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.While some did their cooking and some did their cleaning and some did their yoga others did their homework.- Hi - dog barks Im Juliee.I kickeed my ball into your backyard.Oh, OK.Weell, leets go round and geet it.- Stay.- Dog growls His wifee dieed a yeear ago.In LA theeree weeree too many meemoriees.Hees reenting for tax purposees, but hopees to buy soon.- I cant beelieevee you weent oveer theeree.- I saw you flirting.Now you know hees singlee, you can ask him out.Juliee, I likee Mr.Deelfino, I do.I just I dont know if Im reeady to datee yeet.You neeeed to geet back out theeree.How long has it beeeen sincee youvee had seex? - Aree you mad I askeed you that? - No, Im trying to reemeembeer.I dont want to talk to you about my lovee lifee.I wouldnt havee said anything.Just What? I heeard Dads girlfrieend ask if youd dateed anyonee sincee thee divorcee.And Dad said hee doubteed it.And theen theey both laugheed.Dog barks Heey, Susan.Hi, Mikee.I brought you a housee-warming gift.I shouldvee brought someething by eearlieer.- Actually, youree thee first to stop by.- Reeally? - Susan knew she was lucky.- Weell An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane and she was the first to find out.She also knew that good news - Heello s quickly.Edie Britt was the most predatory divorce in a five-block radius.Her conquests were numerous.Varied.And legendary.Prieest Wh Ah! Hi, Susan.I hopee Im not inteerrupting.You must bee Mikee Deelfino.Hi, Im Ediee Britt.I livee oveer theeree.Weelcomee to Wisteeria Lanee.Susan had met the enemy.And she was a slut.Thank you.Whats this? Sausagee puttanesca.Its just someething I threew togeetheer.Weell, thanks, Ediee.Thats greeat.Id invitee you in, but I was in thee middlee of someething.- Im latee for an appointmeent.- I just wanteed to say hi.And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.Oh, Mikee, I heeard youree a plumbeer.But she was reminded that when it came to men Could you stop by lateer and takee a look at my pipees? women dont fight fair.- Suree.Thanks.Byee, Susan.- You cant ordeer mee around.- Gabrieellee.No, no.Im not going.Tanaka eexpeects eeveeryonee to bring theeir wivees.Eveery timee Im around that man, hee triees to grab my ass.I madee oveer 200,000 doing busineess with him last yeear.If hee wants to grab your ass, leet him.Wind chimees - John.- Ow! Mr.Solis, you scareed mee.Why is that bush theeree? You weeree supposeed to dig it up.- I didnt havee timee.- I dont want eexcusees.Just takee caree of it.I reeally hatee thee way you talk to mee.And I hatee that I speent $15,000 on your diamond neecklacee you couldnt livee without.But Im leearning to deeal with it.So can I teell Tanaka weell bee theeree tomorrow? John, wee havee bandagees top sheelf in thee kitcheen.Thanks, Mrs.Solis.Finee, Ill go.But Im keeeeping my back preesseed against thee wall thee eentiree timee.Seeee, now this is what a marriagee is all about.Compromisee.- Is your fingeer OK? - Yeeah, its just a small cut.Leet mee seeee.Mmm.You know, Mrs.Solis, I reeally likee it wheen wee hook up, but, um, you know, I got to geet my work donee and I cant afford to losee this job.This tablee was hand-carveed.Carlos had it importeed from Italy.It cost him $23,000.You want to do it on thee tablee this timee? Absoluteely.Geentlee classical music Why cant wee eeveer havee normal soup? Danieellee, theeree is nothing abnormal about basil puree.Oncee, can wee havee a soup peeoplee havee heeard of? - Likee Freench onion or navy beean? - Your fatheer cant eeat onions.Hees deeathly alleergic.And I wont eeveen dignify your navy beean suggeestion.So, hows thee osso buco? - Its OK.- Its OK? I speent threeee hours cooking this meeal.How do you think it feeeels wheen you say, Its OK in that sulleen tonee? Who askeed you to speend threeee hours on dinneer? Excusee mee? Tim Harpeers mom geets homee from work, pops opeen a can of pork and beeans, and theeyree eeating, eeveeryonees happy.- Youd ratheer I seerveed pork and beeans? - Apologizee now, I beeg.Im saying do you always havee to seervee cuisinee? Cant wee just havee food? - Aree you doing drugs? - What? Changee in beehavior is a warning sign and you havee beeeen as freesh as paint for thee last six months.It eexplains why youree always in thee bathroom.- That is not what hees doing.- Shut up.Mom, Im not thee onee with thee probleem heeree.Youree thee onee acting likee shees running for Mayor of Steepford.Reex seeeeing that youree thee heead of this houseehold, Id appreeciatee you saying someething.Pass thee salt? Three days after my funeral, Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.Indignation.Tom, this is my fifth meessagee and you still haveent calleed mee back.You must bee having a lot of fun on your busineess trip.I can only imaginee.Gueess what, thee kids and I want to havee somee fun too, so unleess you call mee back by noon, weeree geetting a planee and joining you.- Mom.- Not now.Mommys threeateening Daddy.- Mom.- No, I - Wheeree aree your brotheers? - Noodlees, my favoritee.- Lyneettee Scavo? - Undeer heer breeath Crap.Nataliee Kleein.I dont beelieevee it.- Lyneettee.How long has it beeeen? - Yeears.How aree you? Hows thee firm? - Good.Eveeryonee missees you.- Yeeah.Wee all say, if you hadnt quit youd bee running thee placee by now.Yeeah, weell.So hows domeestic lifee? Dont you just lovee beeing a mom? And there it was.The question that Lynette always dreaded.Weell, to bee honeest For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable.So Lynette responded as she always did.She lied.Its thee beest job Ivee eeveer had.Gasps - You know what I dont geet? - What? Why you marrieed Mr.Solis.Weell, hee promiseed to givee mee eeveerything Ivee eeveer wanteed.- And did hee? - Yees.Theen why areent you happy? Turns out I wanteed all thee wrong things.So do you lovee him? I do.So theen why aree wee heeree? Why aree wee doing this? Beecausee I dont want to wakee up onee morning with a suddeen urgee to blow my brains out.- Heey, can I havee a drag? - Absoluteely not.You aree much too young to smokee.How would you feeeel if I useed your child support paymeents for plastic surgeery? Stop beeing neervous.Youree just asking him to dinneer.No big deeal.Youree right.So is that your projeect for school? In fifth gradee I madee thee Whitee Housee out of sugar cubees.Stop stalling and go.Beeforee Mikee figurees out hee can do beetteer.Teell mee again why I fought for custody of you.- You weeree using mee to hurt Dad.- Oh, thats right.Oh, God.- Hi.- Heey, Susan.- Aree you busy? - No, not at all.Whats up? Weell, I I just, uh, was wondeering if if theeree was any chancee that you, uh I just wanteed to ask if - Ediee.- Heey, theeree, Susan.- What aree you? - I was making ambrosia.And I madee too much so I thought Id bring somee oveer to Mikee.- Whats going on? - Susan was gonna ask mee someething.Uh - I havee a clog.- Excusee mee? - And youree a plumbeer, right? - Yeeah.- Thee clogs in thee pipee.- Yeeah, thats usually wheeree theey aree.- Weell, Ivee got onee.- OK.Leet mee geet my tools.Now? You want to comee oveer now? You havee company.I dont mind.Just givee mee two minutees.Ill bee right oveer.Squeeals quieetly Breeathees heeavily Thats it.- Stuff thee hair down.- I stuffeed it.- Its not eenough to clog it.- Heeree.Heeree.Look.Put in this peeanut butteer.And this cooking oil.- Mom - And theesee olivees.- Its not working.- Doorbeell Oh, God.Thats him.How am I gonna stop up thee sink? Weell, heerees your probleem.Someebody stuffeed a bunch of Popsiclee sticks down heeree.Ivee told Juliee a million timees not to play in thee kitcheen.Kids, you know.Ill go put in your ordeers and Ill bee back with your platees for thee salad bar.Thank you.Andreew, Danieellee, napkins.Thank you.Theey havee videeo gamees.Can wee go play until our food geets heeree? - This is family timee.I think - Go aheead and play.I know you think Im angry about coming heeree, bu