搞笑英语剧《叶花K西》.doc

其他范文/相声小品剧本 搞笑英语剧叶花k西 叶花k西人物介绍：西门吹雪（），叶孤城（），ing(k).花满楼（）道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：a quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .birdsaredancinginthecold .amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .windiscominginsilence.another mysteriousmanapproaches .y与x相遇x：oh ,iamsorrytoknockyou !y:haha, nevermindbaybay.x:excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname? y:ha ha ,iwontchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. imthemostfamous-yegucheng. whoareyou?x:iamximenchuixue.y惊讶:ar, ximenchui xue?x:yes,whatiswrong? y:iheardthatyouarethebestingmartialarts?x:great, youknowme !y抱腿：please, please dontkillme! letmeyougo!x:no, imustkillyou !y:idontwanttobekilled.thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!x:noway! becausewearefightingnow!youknow?y突然站起冷冷的说：dont forceme!x:pardon!(y拿出一袋牛奶)x抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?y:pleasedrinkit!x喝完牛奶:thanks, ha,hay:doyoustillwanttokillme?x:sure, must! milkismilk.y(恼怒+冷酷):verygood! verygood! ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?x:imsureiwont!y:imustgiveyoualesson!ifidontbeatyourthistime, youllneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!x捂着肚子，蹲下：oach,oach !y大笑：hahax可怜状: help! help! whereisthewashroom?y:what ?x:toliet?y:what ?x:the “wc”?y:oh,i see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!x:thanks,byebye.y掏出纸屑吹:thisisgenuirnesnow!h:stop!protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!y:whoareyou?h:hua-man-lou! haveyouseenximenchuixue?y:yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“wc” now,hah惊讶:nowyouarethebestintheworld!y:youareright!h:teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?y:yes,itsverygood.h:ok, followme, letsgotoseemyking!y:ok,lets go!第二幕：无间道h:mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指y） thisisyegucheng.k:sitdownplese, yegucheng.h走到y前，婚礼进行曲起，h神甫状:yegucheng! doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?y: yes,ido.k: huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）x唱着上:onlyyou(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!k:butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?y急切: king! dearking!imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)k:huoxi? whatdoesthatmean? itisnotenglish, isnt it ?y:how cleverx冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!iwanttotellyousomething!y抱x的腿:oldbrother ! forgiveme!x:forgiveme? why?y: oncetherewasachangebeforeme,ilostit. ifthegodgivemeantherchance, illtellyou“i love you”,iftheremustbea limited period,ihopeitisthousandyear!x:youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell theladys“wc”!y:ilikegoingladys wc .iiithinkthatyoulikewhatilike.(又拿出一袋牛奶)x: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)k: ayixidailu?whatsthemeaning? whyialsocantunderstandyou?x:youarestupid! itmeans“i love you”.k:dont saythat“you love me”. illkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!x:what? (侧耳装着听不到) you-kill-me?come, come(上去抓住k)k:fuckyou. imustk