英式幽默带你学英语 English Humor.doc

英式幽默带你学英语 我们所熟知的银屏明星憨豆先生给我们带来了无限的欢乐，这种欢乐是英式的，但也是世界性的幽默。如同英国人的严肃和绅士，在英式幽默中，我们很难看到过分夸张的表演，他们总是让现实中的一些普通的东西在最不合理的地方出现。这就出现了幽默。何为英式幽默？我想你问一百个英国人可能有一百个答案。即便对英国人自己而言，所谓的幽默也和佛教道教一般，只可意会不可言传。说到幽默有英式幽默和美式幽默之分，二者差别很大。用字比喻语调都很不一样。简单的说美式幽默比较生活化, 用字比较直接,英式幽默用字比较深入,夹杂着当地文化换句话说, 就算是你听懂他们的用字,也很难搞懂真正的意思。下面：我们提供几则英语笑话供大家感受英式文化下的英式幽默： 1. She Didnt Say AnythingA mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”.“How do you know?” asked her father.“She didnt say anything.”2. I Have Turned It Over A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! Its too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I dont think its necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”His wife was very angry at this. “How lazy you are!” She shouted, “To tell you the truth, I turned it over last week.”3. The Art of CryWhen Mrs Johnson entered Bellis room, she found that he was binding up his thumb.“Whats the matter with you?” she asked.“It is because of that hammer.” Belli answered.“But I didnt hear you cry.” “Oh, I thought you were not in just now.”4. We Need Two of Those“Do you need any typists?” asked a young man seeking a job.“No,” said the personnel director checking the list. “We have got plenty of typists.”“How about file clerks?” asked the man.“Sorry, we have many file clerks, too.”Disgusted, the applicant started to leave, muttering. “Well, Ill be an S.O.B.”The personnel man jumped up and cried, “what! We need two of those.”5. Its Not That“May I borrow your record player tonight?” a man asked his neighbor.“Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?”“No,” he answered. “Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet.”6. It Is Out TooOne cold day, a friend of the Browns went to visit them. The maid stopped him at the door. The friend asked, “Is Mr. Brown at home?” “No, he has gone out.” Replied the maid. “Is Mrs. Brown at home, then?” “No, she gone out.” “May I come in and sit by the stove?” “No, it has gone out, too.”7. Is There a Crib in Your Stomach?When my sister-in-law Leah was expecting her second child, her son Brian would sometimes touch his mothers tummy to feel the baby move. One day, while touching her stomach and not feeling anything, he asked, “How come the baby isnt moving?”“The baby is sleeping,” replied his mother.Brian thought for a moment and then said, “You mean you got a crib in there too?”8. Mother MouseA mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a catcrouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, Woof, woof, woof! The cat was so terrifiedthat it ran for its life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, Now, do you understand thevalue of a second language?9. I Want to TellWhen I was 12, my best friend and I broke a window playing baseball. We looked around to see if anyone had seen us. No one was in sight except my younger brother. We went over and offered him a piece of candy not to tell. He refused it.“Ill give you my baseball,” I said.“No!”“Well, what do you want?”“I want to tell.”10. A Clever ProfessorOnce a professor at Glasgow University put up a notice, which read: “Professor Black will meet his class tomorrow.” This means that he was going to give his students a lecture the next day.One naughty boy of the class saw the notice and wiped away the first letter of the word “class” in the notice. Then the sentence became “Professor Black will meet his lass tomorrow”, which means the professor would meet his girl friend. Seeing this, the professor didnt take it seriously. He, then, simply left out another letter of the word. Finally, the word “class” was turned into “ass”, which means, as we all know, “a stupid donkey”. Overall, the student hadnt surpassed the teacher.11. Tom and His Mother “Mother,” said little Tom, “did you tell father I wanted a new bicycle?”“Yes, dear,” said his mother. “I told him, but he said he couldnt afford to buy you one.”“Of course he would say