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Social Skill:ConversationsThe skill of making conversation is very important. To find a job and to keep it, you will be communicating constantly. A job interview is basically a long conversation in which you convince someone to hire you. This section describes how most conversations in middle-class business and social settings start, continue, and end.Starting ConversationsMake eye contact. This means glancing into the persons eyes and having him look back briefly in your eyes. If he does not look back at you, it usually means that he does not want to talk. Say something to the other person. Some options: Introduce yourself and then ask his name. Say something about what you have in common such as: The environment: Isnt that an interesting picture? This food is good. The event: Ask how he knows the host of the party. Or comment on the speaker. The organization: At a service club meeting, you might ask what chapter he belongs to. Ask a question that does not require a yes or no response. A common opening in business events is What do you do? At a social event, you might say, Where are you from? Continuing ConversationsEach statement in a conversation must be related to what the previous speaker has been talking about. To change the subject, you need a transition, such as What you said just reminded me of what we discussed yesterday. As you talk, watch the person. Is he showing interest by nodding his head, looking at you, and responding to what you say? If not, wind up your thoughts and pause. Let him talk. As your partner talks, look interested. Keep his face gently in focus. Do not stare. Nod occasionally or say, mom hmm. To make a gracious interruption, watch the person who is talking. When he pauses, make a slight gesture toward him such as moving your hand or head towards him. He will finish his thoughts or pause so you can begin to speak. If are having trouble keeping up with the pace of a conversation, consider saying something like: The reason it takes me so long to answer you is that I am thinking about what you say. As you talk, notice when your conversational partner wants to interrupt and let him talk. Ending ConversationsEnd all conversations graciously. Say something positive about the discussion. Example: It was nice hearing about your trip. Its great that we had this chance to touch base. You may want to give a reason for ending the conversation. Examples: I have to go now. My husband just walked in. The other line is ringing. I have to say goodbye. I see a friend Id like to say Hello to. Excuse me. I want to get a drink. Wait for your partner to say something like Goodbye, or It was nice talking to you. At business networking events, you may want to ask for a business card, hand out one of yours, or both. Say goodbye and leave. Breaking into GroupsIn some social situations (particularly when you are starting a new job), you do not know many people. In these settings, you need to figure out how to graciously enter a group of people.Before approaching a group, study it. Do the people look approachable? Is this a group that you can break into easily?A group is approachable if:The people are standing far apart. Group members are looking around. One may even catch your eye and gesture, inviting you to join. There is a space between the people in the group that makes it easy for you to enter. A group is not approachable if:The group is in a circle or oval with little space between the bodies. People are close together. People are looking at each other. You cant catch anyones eye. Here are some possibilities for getting in. If you know someone in the group, catch his eye, smile or wave, and approach him. He may introduce you to people there or move in such a way you can get in. If you dont know anyone, then:Get close enough to hear them (without getting so close you are violating their space). Catch the eye of someone in the group. Say something that is related to the conversation. Your comment should be brief and not contradict what the speakers have been saying. Often, someone will respond
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