大话西游.doc

其他范文/相声小品剧本 大话西游 悟空：师傅，是不是太累了？休息一下再走吧。 master, are you tired? lets have a rest.唐僧：没关系，前面不远就有人家了，到了那里再休息吧。i am fine. lets have a rest later. look! there is a house over there.悟空仔细地搀扶唐僧继续行走，同时另一边老头、老妈、小媳妇出场。小媳妇（做哭状）：爹、妈，我daddy, mommy, i, i 老头：女儿，快走吧，不然那猪精来了，就走不了了。 honey, hurry up. the spirit is coming soon.小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里，抱头痛哭。老头在一边叹息，擦泪。唐僧、悟空走到他们面前。悟空：师傅，到了。master, here we are.唐僧（走到老头面前行礼，悟空看见了正在哭的母女俩，觉得奇怪，上下打量）：老施主，我是从东土大唐前往西天取经的和尚，想借贵地休息一晚，不知方便否？excuse me, sir. i am the monk from the east. can we stay over here tonight?老头（做哽咽状）：哦，是东土大唐来的高僧啊，可以可以。（别过脸去继续哭泣）oh, you are the monk from the east. sure. sure, come in, please 唐僧正在奇怪，老妈闻声抬起头，仔细打量唐僧，突然扑到唐僧面前。老妈：高僧啊，你可要救救我的女儿，救救我们一家啊。master, please save my daughter, save my family唐僧：老施主休要伤心，有什么事慢慢说。dont be sad, madam. take it easy. what happened?老头：高僧有所不知，我们这里有一只猪精，今天要来跟我女儿成亲，大家都斗不过它，现在正准备把女儿送出去逃避master, there is a spirit here. he wants to marry my daughter, tonight. we are all afraid of him. 唐僧：施主莫怕，我这徒弟本领高强，也许他能帮上你们。calm down, sir. my apprentice has great capability. maybe, he can help you.老头：唉，高僧啊，以前也来过自称本领高强的师傅，结果都被这猪精打跑了。今天你们就躲着别出来了吧。alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. but every time, they were defeated by the spirit. youd better keep away tonight.悟空：噢，有这么厉害的妖怪？我倒要会他一会。待会你们只管躲起来，外面发生什么事，都不用管。what? is the spirit really so strong? id like to see how great he is. all of you just stay inside. dont come out no matter what happens.这时起了风声（音乐），老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖。小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻。悟空镇定地举手示意，让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去。自己也手搭凉篷看了看，便不慌不忙地也躲在了门后，露出一段红袖子。猪八戒大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来，嘴里大喊：小娘子，我来了。darling, here i am.站在台上停一下，见没有动静，觉得奇怪，往房屋里看去，见露出一段红袖子，高兴地一拍手掌。八戒：小娘子还害羞呢，不敢出来见老猪吗？来，来，来，我们就要是夫妻了，还害什么羞呀！。darling, dont be so shy! please come to me. come on, we will be a couple. 猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子，把小娘子拖了出来，小娘子作出害羞的样子，有时又做出猴子的模样。八戒：小娘子，不用怕，我虽然长得丑，但本领高强，一定会让你过上好日子的。darling, dont be afraid. although i am ugly, i am so powerful. i am sure that i can make you happy. 小娘子笑着点头，抓耳挠腮。八戒：小娘子，你高兴的时候干嘛要像猴子一样？darling, why do you look like a monkey ?小娘子：我一高兴就觉得痒，所以就抓一抓。when i am happy, i always tickle.八戒：高兴就好，高兴就好。我们快入洞房吧。fine, lets go to the bedroom.八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻。小娘子作出动脑筋的样子，又把八戒拉回来。八戒：哇，小娘子，你好大的力气啊，干嘛把我拉出来啊？darling. why are you so powerful?小娘子：夫君，你这模样进去会吓着我的父母的，还是去你家里吧。honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. wed better go to your home.八戒：去我家？那太好了，我们这就走吧。go to my house？ok. thats a great idea. lets go.两人走了几步，小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子，八戒忙扶起她，作出痛惜的样子。小女子：我一个弱女子，哪里能走这么远？夫君背我吧。i cannot walk any further. can you carry me on your back?八戒：背你？好，好，好。谁让你是我的媳妇呢？carry you on my back? all right. youre my wife after all. come on.八戒把小女子背上：娘子，我们这就出发了。darling, lets go.小女子（在八戒头上一点）：走吧，呆子。okay. lets go.音乐响起(直到八戒摔倒)。八戒在台上走一圈，做出越走越慢，越走越累的样子。小女子在他背上抓耳挠腮，非常高兴。八戒：小娘子，你怎么这么重啊？darling, why are you so heavy? 小女子：不是我重，只怕是你不想背我吧？do you think so? dont you want to carry me?)八戒：不,不,不，我背，我背。yes, i do. i do. 继续艰难地走。小女子得意地在背上笑。八戒体力不支，一跤摔倒，小女子倒地之后，灵活地越上台上的假山，先做出猴子笑看八戒的样子，再做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟。八戒听到女子的呻吟，忙东张西望找小媳妇。八戒：娘子，摔着了没有？娘子，摔着了没有？娘子，你摔到哪去了？怎么看不见你了？darling, are you ok? darling, where are you? why cant i see you?小女子（偷偷地笑，再装作痛苦的样子）：夫君，我在这里呢。honey, i am here.八戒：哇，娘子, 你怎么摔到高的地方去了？darling. why did you go up there? 小女子：还不是你这呆子害的。thats your fault. 八戒：对不起，娘子。对不起，娘子。sorry, darling. im very sorry.小女子：看你这么辛苦，我也摔疼了，那就休息休息吧。you look so tired, and i feel sore. lets have a rest.八戒：太好了。 我们就休息一下吧！have a rest? thats a good idea. lets have a rest. 八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息，小女子仔细地打量他。小女子（撒娇地）：夫君，你是哪里的神仙，我都还不知道，怎么能嫁给你呢？你可要告诉我。honey, how can i marry you? i dont even know where you come from. you must tell me the truth first.八戒：唉，别提了，想当年我本是天上的天篷元帅，上天入地，八面威风。只因冒犯了嫦娥，被玉帝贬下凡尘，错投了猪胎，长成这般模样。alas! dont mention it. i was tianpeng marshal, i could fly between heaven and the world. only because i made a big mistake, i was punished by yudi. so i became a pig. thats why i am so ugly.小女子：亏你长得这么丑，还敢出来见人。you look too ugly to meet people.八戒：本来我也不想出来，只是南海观音点化我，叫我在这里等候前往西天的取经人。等了这么久，也不见，便出来逛逛，能碰到娘子你，是我一生的造化，还管它什么西天取经呢？（八戒高兴地过去想拉小女子的手）i didnt want to come here. nanhai guanyin asked me to wait for tangseng. ive been waiting for a long time, but nobody has come. its lucky to meet you here. 小女子（把手甩开）：你说自己是天上的神仙，怎么连我都背不动，真让人难以相信。you said that you were an immortal in the heaven . why cant you carry me? its impossible!八戒：我真的是天上的神仙，你干嘛不信呢你。i am really the immortal. why dont you believe me?小女子：那你拿出点本事来瞧瞧。show me some gongfu then.八戒：好，让我露两手来给你看看。ok, let me show you my gongfu. 从石头后拿出钉钯，舞了起来。小女子暗暗点头。当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时，被小女子一把抓住，往石山后面一拖，八戒被拖了过去。八戒：娘子，你怎么这么大的力气？ darling. why are you so strong? 小女子：有本事你把我拖出去呀。pull me out if you can .八戒做出用力拖的样子，没有发现拖出来的却是悟空。悟空一松手，八戒摔倒在地。八戒：娘子，你怎么这么狠心把我摔倒了? 不要开玩笑了。 how could you let me fall down? dont kid any longer. 悟空大笑：呆子，看看我是谁！ you silly! look at me. who am i?八戒一看，吓得跳起来：齐天大圣，我的妈呀。 my god! you are mahatma! 八戒转身想跑，被悟空拦住，两人打了起来，八戒不是对手，被悟空压住，不能动弹。悟空：呆子，你可还敢在这里害人不成？you silly! dare you harm others any more?八戒：不敢了，不敢了。no, i dare not! 悟空： 你可还敢在这里娶媳妇？dare you wive yet?八戒：不敢了。大圣爷爷饶我。no,no. please forgive me, mahatma.悟空：量你也不敢。 i bet you dare not. 悟空放开，八戒转身想跑，被悟空一把抓住耳朵，疼得直叫。悟空：呆子，想往哪里去？you silly, where are you going? 八戒：我已答应你，不再闹事了，干嘛还不放我走？ ill never make trouble any more. why dont you let me go?悟空：呆子，我带你去见取经人。you silly, im taking you to meet the sutra-seeker. 八戒：什么？取经人来了？what? has tangseng come? 悟空：走吧。yes. lets go! 两人在台上走半圈，来到房前。悟空：师傅，出来吧，这妖怪已经被我降服了。master, please come out! the spirit has been defeated ! 唐僧等人走了出来，老头一家还有些战战兢兢。悟空：呆子，还不跪下，见过师傅。you silly, kneel down to meet your master.八戒忙对着唐僧下跪，口喊师傅。唐僧非常吃惊。master, nice to meet you here.唐僧：徒儿，这是怎么回事？my prentice, whats up? 悟空：师傅，这是观世音菩萨特意让他在此等候陪您上西天取经的。master, he will accompany you to the west at guanyins behest.唐僧：哦，多谢观世音菩萨，既然这样我就收你