GRE作文issue部分全部官方范文的解析——太傻小麦可.doc

小麦可的分析issue全部官方范文的分析全文结构： 一、awintro的关于issue部分的整理和归纳。二、官方满分范文的详细分析三、总结四、其他非主流版本官方范文的下载五、我的习作附注：. A# S, m+ X2 A+ d7 S（1）我把每一篇文章的分析(最上面的是我的分析)，文档放在附件里了，并在后面附上了些别人的分析（基本上是网上能找到的全部,很全），有兴趣的朋友不妨下载来综合看看。这里有一点需要说明：这些牛人的分析来源于几十位不同的牛人，由于时间紧无法一一将名字列出，请见谅！衷心谢谢各位牛人辛勤的工作！为广大G友们提供了丰富的思路！（2）看分析之前最好要先看未加分析的原文，自己先对文章有点感觉，不妨多看几遍，然后再看分析，这样的效果最好！大家可以：下载附件中的全部范文，然后利用word的搜索功能找到我们着重分析的8篇满分范文。附注： U4 j2 k+ L+ iw0 f. F关于官方的文件，本人还有几篇文章，有兴趣的同学可以参考：全部issue官方范文的分析”/thread-1093482-1-1.html% k, V J $ $ A; i# t 1 X“全部argument官方范文的分析”/thread-1093461-1-3.html“关于雷同问题的我的一点看法” /thread-1093543-1-9.html; v- Y) A( f4 F2 L) M1 L4 O“常用词汇总结” /viewthread.php?tid=1093442&highlight=%D0%A1%C2%F3%BF%CB “AW的intro的解读” /viewthread.php?tid=1093534&page=1&extra=page%3D1:第一部分：awintro的解读6 R: s, o _# i& f注：下面所有文字均摘自我的另一篇文章“awintro的解读”，由于当时的分析已经较为详细，故直接引用，只是个别文字稍有改动。Each topic, presented in quotation marks, makes a claim about an issue that test takers can discuss from various perspectives and apply to many different situations or conditions.这一点从理论上说明了任何范文只是众多入手点的其中之一，每一个题目都有着不同的切入点以及破题方案。我们不能限制住自己Be sure to read the claim carefully and think about it from several points of view, considering the complexity of ideas associated with those perspectives这点很重要，对于每个题目的分析都不能是片面的，想的复杂一些！全面要比深入更为重要。复杂！Although it is important that you address the central issue, you are free to take any approach you wish.让步前：告诉我们什么是最重要的-中心论点。agree absolutely with the claim, disagree completely, or agree with some parts and not others对于立场的选择，尽管坛子里几乎已经达成共识就是要选平衡观点，但是官方无数次的强调，可以任意选，可以绝对反对，也可以绝对肯定。这在北美范文中也是也到印证的。看来官方不在乎我们的选什么态度，在乎的是如何证明我们的态度。6 p0 t9 Y7 O; V, J8 a$ g以下是几个官方提供给我们做的更加充实的的入手点，还是很有价值的：question the assumptions the statement seems to be *8 Y, X) Z a& g4 m4 |& N F; E1 S# B- T7 A) H- z% W质疑假设qualify any of its terms, especially if the way you define or apply a term is important to developing your perspective on the issue定义关键名词point out why the claim is valid in some situations but not in others分情况讨论evaluate points of view that contrast with your own perspective对比，主要通过比较找出自己的观点与原文的所不同的地方develop your position with reasons that are supported by several relevant examples or by a single extended example最后这一点很重要，告诉我们如何用例子：要么用好几个例子，要么用一个可以延伸的大例子。在官方给出的范文中有这样的示范。（只用一个普通的例子是很无力的）以上每一点都够写一大段了，还愁没的写吗？The purpose of this task is to determine how well you can develop a compelling argument supporting your own perspective on an issue and to effectively communicate that argument in writing to an academic audience有效的交流告诉我们文章要有足够的交流性，给人沟通的感觉。这一点北美范文做得很好。比如说用疑问句阿，或者在文中假设一个反对的意见，然后去解释，都能够给人营造一个交流的气氛，而不是说教。最后一个词告诉我们我们的观众是谁-学院式的观众。这暗示着我们选取的例子虽然不用太专业，但也至少有点学术气息。我个人是很推崇以西方文明史中经典事例来的，显得很学术。实际上它是在告诉我们可以把这个作文的创作看成是一场学术报告，以这样的态度来选取事例以及语言。the Issue task is meant to assess the persuasive writing skills that you have developed throughout your education他在考我们大学这几年的收获。可能有的人会说纯属扯淡，考的无非就是30天左右的准备过程。我想说的是，官方的说法还是有一定道理的，比如我们专业学物理比较多，大学物理里的核心其实就是一种思维方式，所以很多题目我看到以后就很兴奋，因为都是平时上课时思考过的，尤其在量子物理近代物理那部分的发展过程，留心的话还是很多话题的来源。如果各位找不到这样的感觉，至少它暗示着我们应该尽量把文章写的靠近我们的专业，更加熟悉才能够发挥得更好。他考察的是我们经过这几年的学习在思维方式有哪些收获。Suppose, for instance, that an Issue topic asks you to consider whether it is important for government to provide financial support for art museums. If your position is that government should fund art museums, you might support your position by discussing the reasons art is important and explain that museums are public places where art is available to anyone.这不就是著名的三段论吗，看来官方对于这样的论证体系是很推崇的。think about the issue in relation to your own ideas and experiences, to events you have read about or observed, and to people you have known这里没有说要多牛的例子，但一再强调必须要是我们熟知的。最简单的就是用本专业的例子了。这里没有说我们需要为了准备这样的一个考试而去专门搜集例子，实际上它在暗示，用现在已经拥有的知识储备就足够了，后面会说到，重要的不是例子本身，而是如何用例子去论证。所以，放心的用本专业的例子吧！既省时间又达到目的，还能避免雷同！decide what position on the issue you want to take and defendremember you are free to agree or disagree completely or to agree with some parts or some applications but not others再一次强调了立场没有必要非是平衡观点。What exampleseither real or hypotheticalcould I use to illustrate those reasons and advance my point of view?给我们指出了一条新路，那就是例子可以是假设的情况！比如说反证法，甚至凭空假设一个，只要它能够在常识的基础上为我们的论证提供有力的支撑。Once you have decided on a position to defend, consider the perspective of others who might not agree with your position. Ask yourself: What reasons might someone use to refute or undermine my position? How should I acknowledge or defend against those views in my essay?这里又给我们指出了一条路，那就是要考虑到别人会如何攻击我们的弱点，很显然，靠这个我们就可以再写出一段，先假设别人也许会怎么样攻击，再阐述我对此的解释。这样显得论证很完美，无懈可击。同时还增加了字数。Readers will see, for example, some Issue responses at the 6 score level that begin by briefly summarizing the writers position on the issue and then explicitly announcing the main points to be argued. They will see others that lead into the writers position by * a prediction, asking a series of questions, describing a scenario, or defining critical terms in the quotation.这里已经明确的说明了满分文章开头的特质：简短复述加清晰立场。The readers know that a writer can earn a high score by giving multiple examples or by presenting a single, extended example.再次点明了例子要举什么形式的。What matters is not the number of examples, the number of paragraphs, or the form your argument takes but, rather, the cogency of your ideas about the issue and the clarity and skill with which you communicate those ideas to academic readers.这里说明了考官看中的是什么。以及关键是我们的读者对象是什么。There are several basic positions you could take on this issue: Yes, society needs more generalists and places too high a value on specialists. No, the opposite is true. Or, it depends on various factors. Or, both groups are important in todays culture; neither is overvalued再一次的强调观点是无所谓的。哪怕是大名鼎鼎的平衡观点，也不会更加显得好。（尽管是这样，我们还是更加推荐平衡观点，倒不是因为它更好，而是因为更简单操作，有更强的普适性，能让我们说出更多的话）Now you can organize your thoughts into two groups: _5 b( 8 X( n) O& dReasons and examples to support the claim；Reasons and examples to support an opposing point of viewIf you find one view clearly more persuasive than the other, consider developing an argument from that perspective. As you build your argument, keep in mind the other points, which you could argue against. If both groups have compelling points, consider developing a position supporting, not the stated claim, but a more limited or more complex claim. Then you can use reasons and examples from both sides to justify your position.这里告诉我们选择立场的方法，先把正反两方面都列出来，然后比较哪方更有说服力，或者是平分秋色。最重要的一点提示就是，选定一方之后，对于另一方，要给与驳斥，这恐怕是我们平时想得比较少的一个方面。既能使论证更加全面有力，又能增加字数。倒数第二句话说出了issue写作的理论的核心，就是不选取任何一方的态度，而是自己创立一个复合的、更加具体的态度，然后让两方面都有余地来证明它。打个比方，就像人家问妈妈好还是爸爸好，我们就说在什么情况下遇到什么事的时候，妈妈比爸爸好，在什么情况下爸爸比妈妈好。或者妈妈的那方面好爸爸的那方面好。mike87227 of 中国海洋大学第一篇文章Both the development of technological tools and the uses to which humanity has put them have created modern civilizations in which loneliness is ever increasing.题目分析：核心概念是技术的发展，人们如何利用这些发展（实际上就是人们如何面对它）这两点如何在社会中影响。题目给出了讨论方向，即要考虑到人们在科技的影响下越来越孤独的问题。题目限定了时间范围是当代。注：深红色的字代表论点性语言，是文章论证的核心。其中的关键字我用粗体表示。实际上文章的观点只用这些深红色的字就够了，不信的话大家可以把所有深红色的字提出来，全文的脉络就清晰可辨了，如同人的脊梁骨。黑色的字代表支撑论点的语言。这里有些是例证，有些是推理证明，个别的有指路标性质的文字我加粗了。黑色字的作用是使文章更佳的丰满，让人信服。推理证明就像骨头（小骨头非脊梁骨）,例证就像是肉。最终组成了有血有肉的文章。Technology, broadly defined as the use of tools, has a long history. Ever since Erg the caveman first conked an animal with a rock, people have been using technology. For thousands of years, the use of tools allowed people to move ever closer together. Because fields could be cultivated and the technology to store food existed, people would live in cities rather than in small nomadic tribes. 前面的几句话都是在介绍大的背景，即技术在现在这样的社会中有哪些影响，这很明显是在点题目中的“modern civilizations ”，很好的介绍了文章所限制的范围有哪些特点。从文字上来看，黑色的句子与棕色的句子的意思是完全一样的，区别就是一个更加抽象，一个更加具体，后者是通过具体的例子来解释前者的。这两者都是必不可少的。我们在写作文的时候是不是会忘记写两者中的其中一部分呢？Only very lately have Ergs descendants come to question the benefits of technology. 这个very lately用的很好，第一它再一次的点题了，很好的紧扣题目，第二它与第一句话中所介绍出来的背景遥相呼应，使得前后的连接很顺当。本句以及以后几句就开始提出与第一句话相反的意见了，但是只是将现象提出来，并没有具体展开任何观点。The Industrial Revolution introduced and spread technologies that mechanized many tasks. As a result of the drive toward more efficient production and distribution (so the ever larger cities would be supported), people began to act as cogs in the technological machine. Clothing was no longer produced by groups of women sewing and gossiping together, but by down-trodden automations operating machinery in grim factories.开头段分为两个部分，一部分写优点，后一部分转而写有质疑。很好的暗示了文章的结构。我们可以清晰地知道作者的思路，并期待他在后面进行展开。并且通过细节处比如修饰语中的扣题，使得文章很好的紧扣题目。没有任何模版的痕迹。The benefits of the new technology of today, computers and the internet, are particularly ambiguous. They have made work ever more efficient and knit the world together in a web of information and phone lines. Some visionaries speak of a world in which Erg need not check in to his office; he can just dial in from home. He wont need to go to a bar to pick up women because there are all those chat rooms. Hungry? Erg orders his groceries from an online delivery service. Bored? Download a new game. And yet.本段第一句话质疑科技带来的好处，这一句话引领出本段以及下一段。可以看作是一个过渡句。这里文章与开头段落的衔接非常好，我们看：ambiguous不正是照应了question吗？正是因为ambiguous人们才会question阿。本段的主题句实际上是第二句话。强调了科技的好的地方，使效率更高，人们之间的联系更加紧密了。后面的四个例子分别证明了这一点。这里，有一点我想说的，就是关于例子的使用，在awintro中明确说了要怎么用例子来支持观点：要么用几个例子，要么用一个可以延伸的例子。我们看这篇文章Erg这个词的频繁使用，这样的一个无限延伸的大例子不正是使文章连贯、论证有力的法宝吗。同时，本段最后用了四个事例，实际上都是用erg给串连起来的，也包括下一段。安排的顺序：事业=朋友=生存=娱乐，一步一步地指向个人的内心世界，人的精神层面。Many people, myself included, are a little queasy about that vision. Erg may be doing work, but is it real work? Are his online friends real friends? Does anything count in a spiritual way if its just digital? 本段主要讲科技进步的负面，与上一段首句相照应。很好的承接了上一段落的内容。同时，在例子论证方面，与上一段的每一个点都有照应。一步一步的将上一段质疑。这种釜底抽薪的质疑使得上一段看似很牛的证明崩溃。同志们看出来本文这种可延伸的一个大例子的威力了吧，在证明过程中那么的有力，在反驳过程中那么的彻底，而且连成一串使得总效果增加不少，这比单独的列几个不相干的例子要有效的多。Since the Industrial Revolution, we have been haunted by the prospect that we are turning into our machines: efficient, productive, soulless. The newest technologies, we fear, are making us flat as our screens, turning us into streams of bits of interchangeable data. We may know a lot of people, but we have few real friends. We have a lot of things to do, but no reason to do them. 上面两句都是对上面棕红色字的解释，并且是从不同层面的进行的刻画。第一句是对上一句的efficient、productive的解释，其中we fear不正是对应了haunt吗，第二句是对应于soulless的解释。其中第二句是重点，因为下一自然段讨论的就是他。In short, the new technology emphasizes a spiritual crisis that has been building for quite some time.这一句话既是总结了上面所有的关于现状的描述，同时，也作为承上启下的过度句，逐步地将讨论深化至精神层面，从而自然的引出下一段作者自己的观点。As I try to unravel which I believe about the relative merits of technology, I think it is instructive to remember technologys original result. 前两段都是作者分析现有的情况，分析题目中所给出的条件。而这一段则是作者提出自己的观点，并且使得文章的论述深入到本质。实际上这个就是作者的立场，这样的定立场的方式很好啊，第二段第三段分别分析了原文的立场和反对原文的立场，可是作者并没有同意任何一个，也没有部分同意。本段从科技本质出发，倾向于说科技的不好，但是不带批评色彩，很聪明的另辟蹊径，指向本源。这就避免了冲突。显出自己的睿智。A better plow meant easier farming, more food, longer lives, and more free time to pursue other things such as art. Our newest technology does not give us more free time; it consumes our free time. 这两句话是一层，通过plow的例子解释了本质。前一句举出事实，后一句进行分析，指出本质是占用了我们的空闲时间，直接指向科技的本质（正如最后一段说的，这本质就是科技与生活的失衡）。We are terminally distracted from confronting ourselves or each other. We stay safe, and lonely, in our homes and offices rather than taking the risk of meeting real people or trying new things.这两句话是第二层，说明我们相互之间缺少了沟通和交流。直接指向科技的本质（正如最后一段说的，这本质就是科技与生活的失衡）。While I am certainly not a Luddite, I do believe we need to look for a bit more balance between technology and life. 本句话是全文的中心，前面几段都是铺垫，先说科技好和不好的方面，然后指向本质。本段不仅点出本质，而且给出了进一步的解决思路。（打个比方，这样的论证方式就像是老师去差学生家访，先说“你这孩子挺爱劳动的啊是个好孩子”，然后说“可是学习怎么那么差呢怎么老爱打架呢”，最后说本质“老赵阿其实我知道你工作太忙了，又要评职称又要炒股票没工夫顾孩子。不过为了孩子，还是多抽出点时间关心下吧”，这样的论证结构下来，从表及内，让人感觉很有说服力！）We have to tear ourselves away from the fatal distractions and go out into the world. Technology has given us long lives and endless supplies of information. Now we need to apply that information, use the time were not spending conking our dinner with a club, and find our reasons for living.最后给出了建议，具体的支撑了如何balance科技与生活。仔细看这三句不正是三段论吗！大前提小前提结论。COMMENTARYThis outstanding response displays cogent reasoning, insightful, persuasive analysis, and superior control of language.The essay immediately identifies the complexities of the issue and then playfully explores both the benefits and the drawbacks of technological developments over the course of human history.The writer maintains that a balance between technology and life is necessary if humans are going to abate the loneliness that is part of modern existence.以下文字为在网上找到的前辈牛人对于本文的分析，供大家参考Technology, broadly defined as the use of tools, has a long history.Ever since Erg the caveman first conked an animal with a rock, people have been using technology.For thousands of years, the use of tools allowed people to move ever closer together.Because fields could be cultivated and the technology to store food existed, people would live in cities rather than in small nomadic tribes.（转折句）Only very lately have Ergs descendants come to question the benefits of technology.The Industrial Revolution introduced and spread technologies that mechanized many tasks.As a result of the drive toward more efficient production and distribution (so the ever larger cities would be supported), people began to act as cogs in the technological machine.Clothing was no longer produced by groups of women sewing and gossiping together, but by down-trodden automations operating machinery in grim factories.The benefits of the new technology of today, computers and the internet, are particularly ambiguous.They have made work ever more efficient and knit the world together in a web of information and phone lines.Some visionaries speak of a world in which Erg need not check in to his office; he can just dial in from home.He wont need to go to a bar to pick up women because there are all those chat rooms.Hungry?Erg orders his groceries from an online delivery service.Bored?Download a new game.And yet.（现代很牛）（完全否定牛）Many people, myself included, are a little queasy about that vision.Erg may be doing work, but is it real work?Are his online friends real friends?Does anything count in a spiritual way if its just digital?Since the Industrial Revolution, we have been haunted by the prospect that we are turning into our machines: efficient, productive, and soulless. The newest technologies, we fear, are making us flat as our screens, turning us into streams of bits of interchangable data.We may know a lot of people, but we have few real friends.We have a lot of things to do, but no reason to do them.In short, the new technology emphasizes a spiritual crisis that has been building for quite some time.As I try to unravel which I believe about the relative merits of technology, I think it is instructive to remember technologys original result.A better plow meant easier farming, more food, longer lives, and more free time to pursue other things such as art.Our newest technology does not give us more free time; it consumes our free time.We are terminally distracted from confronting ourselves or each other.We stay safe, and lonely, in our homes and offices rather than taking the risk of meeting real people or trying new things.（技术的本质是什么）While I am certainly not a Luddite, I do believe we need to look for a bit more balance between technology and life.We have to tear ourselves away from the fatal destructive distractions and go out into the world.Technology has given us long live and endless supplies of information.Now we need to apply that information, use the time were not spending cooking our dinner with a club, and find our reasons for living.这个文章作为6分文章实在跟其他的6分不太一样,段落内的推理基本做的很少,我这几天把他看了不下几十遍,终于发现了他的奥秘.就是段落间的推理! 当然,它得6分不光是因为这个段落之间的推理.但是这个推理的过程实在是我们的文章所不能达到的.至少我看了这么多天,这样写的还很少.总体,我来说说他的思路,就是开头之后,正文第一段,先说技术是如何的看起来牛然后第2段,把它完全否定,因为如何如何,所以它不牛第三段,那么它为什么不牛呢?让我们看看技术最原始的本质和他应该的本质应该是什么!第四段,既然本质是这样的,那么我们现在应该怎么做!简单来说就是 前言:提出问题一段: 现状2段: 现状是假的3段: 这样才是真的4段: 所以,我们要这样.分析完毕,各位看看,觉得这些6分范文还是很值得研究的虽然我们学不了它的语言,但是它的例子很简单,论证的结构其实也不难.这样比我们清楚的做三段逻辑论证要简单一些.呵呵，,当然,如果像我自己平常写的那种逻辑结构不严密的文章的话,这个的结构还是比较难了.Technology, broadly defined as the use of tools, has a long history.（开头先对科技进行定义，以界定讨论范围，同时这样的定义，可以完全按照个人的理解来，那么就可以做与主题相关的定义，来很好的帮助自己下面的论述作者在这里将technology定义为the use of tools,可以很好的和题目结合，将工具的发展和对工具的使用抽象为科技的发展）Ever since Erg, the caveman first conked an animal with a rock, people have been using technology.For thousands of years, the use of tools allowed people to move ever closer together.(为说loneliness,先反其道而行之，先说科技使人们move close)Because fields could be cultivated and the technology to store food existed, people would live in cities rather than in small nomadic tribes.Only very lately have Ergs descendants come to question（这里question当动词，质疑） the benefits of technology.The Industrial Revolution introduced and spread technologies that mechanized many tasks.As a result of the drive toward more efficient production and distribution (so the ever larger cities would be supported), people began to act as cogs（这个cogs指的是齿轮上的一个齿，形象的比喻手法） in the technological machine.Clothing was no longer produced by groups of women sewing and gossiping together, but by down-trodden automations operating machinery in grim factories.（首段看似没有提出观点，其实不然，作者的行文思路非常清晰，先定义科技，再说过去科技使人们关系紧密，但现在过度的可以发展反而使得人们分离，所以造成了孤独，这就是作者的观点，可以看出，作者这里初步解释了孤独这个现象的原因，并提供讨论的背景）The benefits of the new technology of today, computers and the internet, are particularly ambiguous.They have made work ever more efficient and knit the world together in a web of information and phone lines.（读到这里，感觉作者的语言有一个很大的特点，就是很有画面感，看似抽象的话题经过作者的描述就让我们感觉能够在自己的脑海里描绘出图画来） Some visionaries（one having unusual foresight and imagination） speak of a world in which Erg need not check in to his office;