英语研究生入学考试作文辅导之范文批改三篇.doc

英语研究生入学考试作文辅导之范文批改三篇考研英语作文考场范文：网络的近与远As is shown in the picture the humans (加who are)divided alone keep contact with each other by internet. Every one owns a computer ,which is their mainly(mainly为副词，用来修饰动词;mean为名词，需要用形容词来修饰，可改为main) mean(改为way或means，mean为“平均值，意思”;而means为“手段，方法”) to contact out(改为with the outside world).In addition,there are spider net between everyone(改为it just like a spider net),which lead the people alone.The picture revealed(时态保持一致，改为reveals) a current social phenomenon that people dependent(改为depend，从句谓语部分应用动词) extravagantly on the internet rather than the normal conversation. The spider net is a great metaphor of the soul-wall(改为the gap between two hearts),which alienate(改为alienates，保持主谓一致)us,meanwhile,it is a net relate(改为relate to) us. Whats more(加逗号) worrisome(改为the worrisome thing;worrisome为形容词，不能做主语) is that they not only contact with strangers with(改为by，by表示“通过某种方式”) the net,but also families. It is a dangerous game! Maybe,it would make the families destruction(改为destructive,注意make sb./sth. + adj.的正确使用). 培训搜培训课程px.wangxiao.so培训网提醒您In my opinion,though the association in internet itself gives little cause for criticism(句子表意不清，建议改为the internet itself should not give much criticism),people should use it in a proper way. Chatting with strangers or distant fellows by computer is OK,but it is indispensable for us to use it in(改为with) close friends. To have a good result,the society should encourage the people to focus more on the real world and the people themselves should enrich their lives and thoughts.总体点评本篇文章存在一些简单的语法错误，且说服力不够强。作者在写作完之后若可以花费几分钟时间来回读文章，并查字典或语法书，把自己不确定的都弄清楚，那么便会减少不必要的失分。不管什么问题，只有自己查了，才能更好地掌握，希望你在以后的写作中能够多注重基础知识，比如句子的构成。然后可以积累一些好的词句，并将其运用到自己的练习之中，为自己的文章增彩。坚持就是胜利，加油吧，祝你考研成功!参考分数(满分20分)：10考研英语作文考场范文：男女比例In the picture,there is an unbalanced(改为imbalanced，imbalance表示“失衡，不平衡”，而unbalance表示“力失衡，精神错乱”) seesaw on which the one side sitting a woman with her body shaking(可改为where a women is sitting with her body shaking on the one side), and on the other side,15 men are going down on their knees asking(改为to ask，用动词不定时表示目的) the woman to marry them. The picture reveals the unbalanced(改为imbalanced)sex ratio in our country. So what causes this phenomenon?In my opinion, there are mainly two reasons. First, the conception prefer sons to daughters is very popular in our country. Through(改为Though，through为介词“通过”，though则表示“虽然”) it is not as intensive as in the old society, most parents,especially the ones in remote areas still want to have a son. Further more, along with the Birth control policy, some parents would(情态动词使用不当，可改为may) choose to abandon their child when they know she is a girl.In order to solve this problem, various measures have to be adopted. As to the government, it should draw up laws to reinforce the punishment of abortion. As to the parents, they should change their prejudice to children, and build up the conception of It makes no differences if the baby is a girl or a boy. I think under the joint effort of the government and the individuals, the condition of unbalanced(改为imbalanced) sex ratio will be improved in the near future.总体点评整体来说，文章写得不错;但还存在个别简单的语法错误。作者在写作完之后若可以花费几分钟时间来回读文章，便会减少不必要的错误。考研作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握，后面要做的就是多积累高分佳句，为自己的文章增彩;再者，写完之后一定要认真检查，减少失分点。加油吧，祝你考研成功!参考分数(满分20分)：13考研英语作文考场范文：啃老族As is vividly depicted in the picture, a father has received a letter from his son, on which without anything except(改为but)a word: money. It reveals a serious issue of (改为in)our society: more and more people live off their parents, even if they are old enough. We call the people who is(建议删掉，直接用简单句表达即可) “boomerang kids”.A careful analysis of cartoon may reveals some reasons under the problem, which involves three causes. For one thing,Chinese parents indulge their children so that it takesfew(改为little，few修饰可数名词，little修饰不可数名词) time to develop their children(改为childrens，孩子们的) independence. In addition(建议改为For another，与前面For one thing对应起来), the boomerang kids may never realize the hard working and enterprising spirit is(改为are，宾语从句的主语用and连接，谓语动词用复数)a magic weapon to make their life pleasant, efficient ,(加and)successful. Last but not least, the education in our school ,especailly(拼写错误，改为especially)university, attach(改为attaches) more importance to academic marks, which ignores the significance of students independence ablilty(拼写错误，改为ability).In order to solve these issues, both family and school should join hands to create an free atmosphere to spirit the young people take care of themselves, while at the same time, the boomerang kids(改为kids) efforts are indispensible, (加and，两个句子之间用连词连接)they should change the lazy behaviors.