英语课堂搞笑对话.doc

。 英语情景对话,自己和舍友5个人在课堂上表演过.材料是自己整合了几个小故事和网上的对话小片段,在此为需要帮助的同学提供点参考.为了更好的说明,中间穿插了汉语.(英语水平不行啊).主要以娱乐为主.故事大概是这样的,有一个老师(也是旁白)和他的四个学生,一个美国人,一个印度人,一个中国人,一个日本人.看到这儿,应该可以猜到内容了,恶搞日本人的.对话如下:Pangbai: Long time ago, I was a teacher in a village and My name is Hutu and I have four students: an American. a Chinese , an India and a Japanese. Now they are coming .四个人登场,进行自我介绍(印度人):Good morning, boys and girls. Im India and the monitor of the class. (中国人): Hello, everyone. Im Chinese. (美国人): Hi, Im American.(日本人,自我介绍的时候鞠个躬,显示所谓的礼仪): Hi, Im Japanese and my English is very poor;Pangbai: During the National Day ,they travelled from Xian to Shanghai passby Luoyang. Its said that some interesting and funny story have been happened when they travelled. Now , they will show us what actually happened in their trip.India: Well, I rent a car, but the car can only take three people. I have an idea that we take turns to ask questions, anybody who give the right answer can get on, or run following the car. Do you agree with me? 三个人异口同声地回答,尤以日本人最活跃. Yes ,sir. No problem.Inida: Now ,as the monitor of the class I will question now. Are you ready?三个人再次异口同声地回答,日本人还是最活跃 Yes, we are ready.India: Hi ,American, how many sun in the sky?American: Such a simple question. The answer is only one.India: Good job. And Chinese guy, how many moon in the sky?Chinese: So easy, its one.Japanese: wow , laughing,(阴笑) these questions are so simple and our Japanese are so clever.India: Hi. Japanese. Do you know how many stars in the sky?Japanese: Stars? Are you kidding me? Sorry, I dont know.India(淫笑): Im sorry, you dont give me a right answer. So, we three go to Luoyang by car and you follow us. Lets go.(对其他两人说).Pangbai: Now, the Chinese , the India, the American trave to Luoyang by car and the Japanese have to run following the car. Several days later, the three man have taken a tour in Luoyang and they are talking about their fells. But the Japanese is still on his way.American: 描述一下洛阳,百度多的是,我也是搜的.在此省略了.Chinese: We have to go now, bur where is the Japanese?Japanese: (气喘吁吁地跑过来,弯着腰说) Thank god, I come up with you finally.India: (对日本人说) Are you OK?Japanese: (立马直起腰) I cant be fine any more.(嘴硬!)India: Good! Now, we start the second round questioning andChinese guy, This is your hometown and as host you question us.Chinese: OK, its my turn. Ill ask questions about our Chinese history and monitor, Do you know the Liberation Campaign of China.India: Let me see. Its LiaoShen War, PeiPing war and HuaiHai War.Chinese: Absolutely right. And American, Do you know how many soldiers sacrificed in that war?American: En, I think its about 500,000.Chinese: Good! And Japanese, do you know their names ?Japanese: names? (苦笑,垂头丧气地),I dont know.Chinese” Im sorry, boy. You failed again.(假惺惺地拍拍日本人的肩 膀,对其他俩人说),Lets go.Pangbai: Another time, the Japanese travelled on foot and the other three by car. Suddenly they met each other somewhere on the rode outside the Luoyang city. American: Hi. Japanese, how are you ?Japanese:(边跑边说,气喘吁吁) Im fine. Thank you ,And you ?American:(look around ) We cant be fine any more.Chinese: See you in Shanghai.Pangbai: Several days later. The three men had enjoyed their good time in Shanghai and the Japanese is still on his way. But fortunately, they had changed their car for fore-seat. It seemed that the Japanese still dont know. Now they are talking about their felling about Shanghai.Chinese: 描述上海.百度搜.India” Its really an interesting journey and time up, we should go home. But where is the Japanese?Japanese: (累死累活的跑过来)Wait me for a while. Im here.India: OK! Lets go back.Japanese: wait, wait ,I dont think its fair to me . I have run from Xian to Shanghai and I have to answer the first question.India: What question?American: (与中国人对视一笑) OK! I pick out a question for you. How many leaves in that tree?Japanese: one , two , three , wow , so many. I cant find the answer. My god, I have to run from Shanghai to Xian again. (说完跑开了).Chinese: what a foolish the Japanese man. Our car have four seats. Why he run away again?India: Become fool when run, I think.Pangbai: Several days later. They all back to Xian. Now they are here and having my class; “Hi, boys, how is your trip?”Japanese: Its terrible . I am so tired.Pangbai: you are a real marathon runner and you three?India: we all have enjoyed the trip.Pangbai: (铃响了) Time flies. We have ten minutes break.美国人往外走, 不小心被日本人撞了一下.发生如下对话.Japanese: Im sorry,sir. American: Im sorry, too.Japanese: two? Im sorry three?American: What are you sorry for?Japanese: four? I m sorry five.American: What do you want to say?Teacher: 老师听不下去了,生气了.这时,the teacher got down and knocked the head of Japanese and said :I have taught you for two years ,What did you say just now! Time up, we have the class now.Teacher: En.Last week, we.此时中国人登场了,打断老师的讲话.Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?Teacher: 一挥手,说道 Go ahead!听到这个这个中国人坐下了.Teacher: Last week, we .,Chinese: Mr. Hu, May I go to the toilet?Teacher: 呃,再次说道 Go ahead.听到这个,中国人再次坐下了.一旁的印度人催他去,但他无动于衷.Teacher: Last week, we .Chinese: Mr. Hu. May I go .Teacher: Dont disturb me any more. I have said go ahead, go ahead. Why dont you go?Chinese: You alway say that go ahead, go ahead. It means去你个头呀. How can I go ?Teacher: Unbelievable! Now you can go to the toilet.Chinese: But I m fine now. Thank you.Teacher: It s up to you. Last week, we have assigned a dialog between Chinese and American. And are you ready now?Chinese & American: Yes!Teacher: Now , the Chinese acts for a waiter and the American for a foreign guest. What will happen between them?Chinese: Hello.