安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2012届高考英语 考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作外教旁批写作 (34)

用心 爱心 专心 1 安徽省巢湖市春晖中学安徽省巢湖市春晖中学 20122012 届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批 写作 三十五 写作 三十五 我花了许多时间准备高考 college entrance examinations 考试结果要一个月后才知道 但是不管能否考上大学 我都要继续努力学习 为建设祖国作贡献 学生习作 外教批改 I have spent much a lot of time preparing for this1 the college entrance examinations Actually2 I have truly tried my best The result of the examinations will be shown3 released in a month I will send myself to the motherland no matter exam or not 4 No matter how badly I do in the exams I will contribute to the motherland I won t stop studying Every student should know that although one you maybe5 may fail the exam but 6 he you can also7 still be useful for to the country We must have a great clear goal Then we will have a great power8 the drive to work and studying 9 Now our country is developing more and more faster10 rapidly and so we need more and more people who have a11 good education I believe it is a good chance for me to show12 prove my ability 旁 批 1 this 使用错误 examinations 是复数形式 this 是单数形式 此外 你这里指的是一个 专门的考试 因此要用 the 2 actually 这个词通常用来更正错误的信息 这里情况并非如此 因此应该用 truly 来强 调他如何努力学习 3 公布考试结果应该用 release 而不是 show 4 意思不清楚 参见改写后的句子 5 用词错误 应该是 may 而不是 maybe 6 同一句中用了 although 就不需要用 but 了 8 原句表达不正确 参见修改后的句子 7 用词错误 also 是用来给出更多的信息 用 still 暗示尽管你考试没考好 但对国家仍 然是有用之才 9 study 接在不定式符号 to 后面 所以不能加 ing 10 使用一个意义较强烈的单词比使用 more and more 要好得多 11 在本句中 education 是可数名词 在单数可数名词前面应该加上 a 12 用 prove 更好 这是一篇尚可的作文 很明显 作者理解了题目要求 但遗憾的是 文中出现了很多语法和结构错误 尽管这 些错误并不完全影响读者对作文的理解 但大部分错误是这个水平的作文不该出现的 论点表达也不够流畅 作者在第二段说考试结果不重要 而后又得出结论说国家需要更 多受过良好教育的人 这两个观点都说得通 但表述时不能自相矛盾 文章词数也不符合题目要求 至少应该写 120 个单词 高分作文秘诀之十 避免重复使用同一单词或短语 例如 Instead of 不要说 There are many people who speak English so after 用心 爱心 专心 2 learning English you can communicate with them easily Use 要说 There are many people who speak English so after learning the language you can communicate with them easily Instead of 不要说 I like reading while my brother likes watching television Use 要说 I like reading while my brother enjoys watching television Instead of 不要说 In my hometown a new railway is being built and a power station is going to be built next year Use 要说 In my hometown a new railway is under construction and a power station is going to be built next year Instead of 不要说 TV has a great influence on children and it also has a great influence on adults Use 要说 TV has a great influence on children as well as on adults 假设你是李晓平 是 江苏中学 的学生 请你围绕 建设和谐社会 的主题 根据下面所 给出的要点提示 用英语给全省中学生写一封倡议书 要点提示 1 人与社会 祖国 家乡 学校 热爱关心 2 人与人 家人 师长 同学 诚信互助 3 人与自然 能源 环境 动植物 爱惜保护 4 你的态度 内容由考生自己拟定 注意 1 词数 100 左右 倡议书的开头 结尾以及提示句已为你写好 不计入词数 2 内容可适当发挥 注意行文连贯 A letter to High School Students in Jiangsu Dear fellow students Our government is aiming to build a harmonious society I think it is every citizen s duty to work hard to achieve this goal As high school students what should we do As for myself Dear fellow students let s start right now and spare no effort to do a little bit every day every hour and every minute Li Xiaoping From Jiangsu High School 参考范文 A letter to High School Students in Jiangsu Dear fellow students Our government is aiming to build a harmonious society I think it is every citizen s duty to work hard to achieve this goal As high school students what should we do First of all we should love our motherland Let s take a great interest in the development of our hometown and take an active part in our school and class activities Secondly let s fill the world with love We should show our respect for old people our parents and our teachers We should also care for each other and help those in need Most important of all all of us must be faithful and honest in our daily life 用心 爱心 专心 3 Finally let s work together to save energy and protect our natural environment including animals trees flowers and grass As for myself I will study even h