Legally Blonde律政俏佳人剧本.doc

Here it is!Thanks.Did you guys sign it?Did you sign the card?And five and four and-Hey, girls, sign!All right! Here you go!- Elles gonna love it!- Thanks.You go, girl!Hi, girls! Here, sign!Thanks!There she is.Thank you.I love that restaurant!I heard Madonnawent into labor there.Oh, gosh!I have to go shopping!Ill see you tonight. Bye.Bruiser, whats this?Good luck tonight.Elle and Warner forever.Oh, thats so cute.Oh, my gosh!You guys are so sweet!But Im not positiveitll happen tonight.Hello! He just had lunchwith his grandmother.You know he got the rock.Why else would she have flown infrom Newport?Its not like shed Fed Exa six-carat diamond.Do you really think?I cant believeyoure getting engaged!Oh, my gosh.you guys have to help mepick out the perfect outfit.Come on!I think you should gowith the red.Its the color of confidence.I dont understandwhy youre disregarding.your signature color.Hes proposing. I cant looklike I would on any other date.This is the date-the night Ill always remember.I want to look special.Bridal.But not like I expect anything.Theres nothing I love more.than a dumb blondewith daddys plastic.Did you see this one?We just got it in yesterday.Is this low-viscosity rayon?Yes. Of course.With a half-looptop-stitching on the hem?Absolutely. Its one of a kind.Its impossible to useA half-loop top-stitching.on low-viscosity rayon.It would snag the fabric.And you didnt just get it in.I saw it in the June Voguea year ago.So if youre trying to sell itfor full price.you picked the wrong girl.Girls, this is it.In a few hours.Ill be the futureMrs. Warner Huntington III.Wow. You look so beautiful.So do you.Lets get out of here.Must be strangehaving such perfect eyes.God, youre so wonderful.Elle, thank you.Heres to us.To us.One of the reasons I wantedto come here tonight.was to discuss our future.And I am fully amenableto that discussion.Good. You know howweve been having.all kinds of fun lately?Well, Harvardis gonna be different.Law school isa completely different world.71and I need to be serious.72Of course.73My family expects a lot from me.74- Right.- I expect a lot from me.75I plan on runningfor office someday.76I fully support that.You know that.77Absolutely.But the thing is.78if Im going to be a senatorby the time Im thirty.79I need to stop dicking around.80Warner, I completely agree.81Thats why I thinkits time for us.82Elle, pooh bear.83- I do.- I think we should break up.84What?85Ive been thinking,and its the right thing to do.86Youre breaking up with me?87I thought you were proposing.88Proposing?89Elle, if Im going to bea senator.90I need to marry a Jackie,not a Marilyn.91Youre breaking up with mebecause Im too blonde?92No. Thats not entirely true.93Then what?My boobs are too big?94Elle, your boobs are fine.95So when you saidthat you would always love me.96you were just dicking around?97Elle, I do love you.98I just cant marry you.99You have no ideaof the pressure that I am under.100My family hasfive generations of senators.101My brothers in the top threeat Yale Law.102He just got engaged toa Vanderbilt,for Christs sake.103Bad salad.104Sweetie.105Pooh bear?106Its not like I have a choicehere, sweetheart!107You get the car,Ill get the check.108I wont be having the salad.109Let me take you home.110Elle, believe me.I never expected to do this.111but I thinkits the right thing.112How can it be the right thingwhen were not together?113I have to think of my future.114and what my family expectsof me.115So youre breaking up with me.116because youre afraidyour family wont like me?117Everybody likes me.118East Coast people are different.119Because Im not a Vanderbilt,suddenly Im white trash?120I grew up in Bel Air!121Across the streetfrom Aaron Spelling!122Most people would agreethats a lot better.123than some stinky old Vanderbilt!124I told you.I need someone serious.125But Im seriously in lovewith you.126Isnt that enough?127Pooh bear, just get in the car.128Youll ruin your shoes.129Morning, Amy.130Elle, its Amy.131Im having troublewith this whole lip-liner thing.132- Sweetie, didnt you hear?- Hear what?133Its terrible.He dumped her.134Why me?135Because youre not gonnaremember anything after tonight.136Oh, youre wrong.137I will remember, no matter what.138And Im never gonna lose youagain.139You couldnt.140Youre a part of me.141I love you.142Liar!143Honey,you have to leave this room.144Its been, like, a week.145- So?- Drink this.146What always makes usfeel better.147no matter what?148She had eightgrilled cheese sandwiches.149She stuffed themin her mouth all at once.150It was so sad.151We thought shed be the firstto walk down the aisle.152and now shes totally adrift.153Totally.154She hasnt conditionedher hair in a week.155Maybe shes goingfor the grunge look.156And her nailsare full-on chipped.157So trailer park.158Oh, my God!Do you know who this is?159- Thats Warners older brother!- Who?160Third year Yale Law studentPutnam Bowes Huntington III.161and his fianceeLayne Walker Vanderbilt.162first year Yale Law.163This is the type of girlthat Warner wants to marry!164This is what I need to becometo be serious!165What?Practically deformed?166No. A law student.167Law school?168Its a perfectlyrespectable place, daddy.169Honey,you were first runner up.170at the Miss Hawaiian Tropicscontest.171Why are you gonnathrow that all away?172Going to Harvardis the only way.173Ill getthe love of my life back.174Sweetheart,you dont need law school.175Law school is for people.176who are boring and uglyand serious.177And you, Button,are none of those things.178Harvard Law School?179Thats right.180But thats a top three school.181Oh, I have a 4.0.182Yes, but your majoris fashion merchandising.183Harvard wont be impressed thatyou aced History of Polka Dots.184What are your back-ups?185I dont need back-ups.Im going to Harvard.186Well, then, youll need.187excellent recommendationsfrom your professors.188And a heckof an admissions essay.189Right.190And at least a 175on your LSATs.191I once had to judgea tighty-whitey contest.192for Lambda Kappa Pi.193Trust me, I can handle anything.194Thanks!195Youre welcome.196Because I have a metrabolism-197- I have a really high metrab- Its metabol.198Oh, my God.199What are you doing?200Reading about the LSATs.201My cousin had that.202Apparently, you geta really bad rash on your.203The LSATs are an exam.204Girls, Im going to Harvard!205- You mean like on vay-kay?- Lets all go!206Road trip!207No. Im goingto Harvard Law School.208Why?209Elle, now, I knowyoure upset about all this.210but cant you just take a Percoset?211Once Warner sees meas a serious law student.212hell totally want me back.213Its a completely brilliantplan!214But isnt it hardto get into law school?215I had the highest GPAin Delta Nu.216Oh, well.Here, youre gonna need this.217Your scrunchy?218My lucky scrunchy.It helped me pass Spanish.219You passed Spanish becauseyou gave Professor Montoya.220a lap dance after the final.221Yeah.luckily.222My name is Elle Woods,and for my admissions essay.223Im gonna tell all of youat Harvard.224why Im gonna makean amazing lawyer.225As president of my sorority.226Im skilled at commandingthe attention of a room.227and discussingvery important issues.228It has come to my attentionthat the maintenance staff.229is switching our toilet paperfrom Charmin.230to generic.231All those opposed to chafingplease say aye.232A-neither type of opera.233or neither type of rapis on sale.234B-neither type of jazz.235and neither type of operais on sale.236C-neither type of operaand neither type of soul-237Party!Delta Nu, we love you!238Im able to recallhundreds of important details.239at the drop of a hat.240Hey, Elle,do you know what happened.241on Days of Our Lives yesterday?242Why, yes, Margot, I do.243Once again, we join Hopein the search for her identity.244As you know, shes beenbrainwashed by the evil Stefano.245Get set and go!246One forty-three.247I feel comfortable usinglegal jargon in everyday life.248I object!249Its here!250- What?- Its here!251The LSAT scores! Its here!252Open the scores!253Whats the score?254- This is so exciting.- Tell us!255What is it?256One seventy-nine!257One seventy-nine!258And thats whyyou should vote for me.259Elle Woods,future lawyerfor the class of 2004.260She does have a 4.0 from CULA.261and she got a 179 on her LSATs.262A fashion major?263Well, sir,weve never had one before.264and arent we alwayslooking for diversity?265Her list of extracurricularactivities is impressive.266She was in a Ricky Martin video.267Clearly,shes interested in music.268She also designeda line of faux fur panties.269for her sororityscharity project.270Shes a friend to the animalsas well as a philanthropist.271Elle Woods.272welcome to Harvard.273Bruiser, its so exciting!Look! Harvard!274Are you excited?275This is our new housefor the next three years.276Are you thirsty?277Lets get you some water.278Sweetheart,you just look parched.279Hey, Brad,check out Malibu Barbie!280Wheres the beach, honey?281Here you go.282Good boy. Warners gonna beso excited to see you.283Guys, this way.284- This aint L.A.!- Come on, Bruiser.285Check her out.Look at the way she walks.286Its gonna be so exciting.287Now, dont be scared.Everyone will love you.288Hi. Woods, comma, Elle.289Class schedule, map, book list.290Wait a second. My social eventscalendar is missing.291Your what?292Social events-you know, mixers,formals.293clambakes, trips to the Cape.294Has Warner Huntington IIIchecked in yet?295Maybe you should checkwith the cruise director.296on the Lido deck.297Welcome to law school.298This is the part wherewe go around in a circle.299and everyone says a little bitabout themselves.300Lets start with you.301My name is David Kidney.302I have a mastersin Russian literature.303a Ph.D in biochemistry.304and for the lasteighteen months.305Ive been deworming orphansin Somalia.306Awesome. What about you?307Hey. How you doing?Im Enid Wexler.308I got a Ph.D. from Berkeleyin womens studies.309emphasisin the history of combat.310and last year,I single-handedly organized.311the march forLesbians Against Drunk Driving.312- Killer.- Thanks. Good times.313Aaron Mitchell.314I graduated first in my classfrom Princeton.315I have an I.Q. of 187.316and its been suggestedthat Stephen Hawking.317stolehis Brief History of Time.318from my fourth grade paper.319Cool.320- Me?- Yeah.321Hi. Im Elle Woodsand this is Bruiser Woods.322and were bothGemini vegetarians.323I have a bachelors degreein fashion merchandising.324from CULA, and I wasa Zeta Lambda Nu sweetheart.325president of my sorority,Delta Nu.326and last year,I was homecoming queen.327Two weeks ago I sawCameron Diaz at Fred Segal.328and I talked herout of buying.329this truly heinousangora sweater.330Whoever said orange was the newpink was seriously disturbed.331Wish me luck, Bruiser.332This is my first classas a serious law student.333I totally look the part.334There is no wayshe got in here on her own.335I totally forgot you go here.336What are you talking about?337Im sorry.Are you here to see me?338No, silly. I go here.339You go where?340Harvard. Law school.341You got into Harvard Law?342What, like its hard?343Oh, my gosh, Warner,itll be so great.344Im planning this great mixer.You have to help me.345Im thinking likea luau or casino night.346Itll be just like senior yearexcept funner.347Time to go.I have to go to class.348but meet me afteron the benches.349All right, bye!350A legal educationmeans you will learn.351to speak in a new language.352You will be taughtto achieve insight.353into the world around you.354and to sharply questionwhat you know.355The seat you have pickedwill be yours.356for the next nine monthsof your life.357And those of youin the front row.358beware.359The law is reasonfree from passion.360Does anyone knowwho spoke those immortal words?361- Yes?- Aristotle.362Are you sure?363Would you be willingto stake your life on it?364I think so.365What about his life?366I dont know.367Well, I recommendknowing before speaking.368The law leaves much roomfor interpretation.369but very little for self-doubt.370And you were right.371And you were right.372It was Aristotle.373Good job.374Now, I assume all of youhave read pages 1-48.375and are now well-versedin subject matter jurisdiction.376Who can tell us aboutGordon vs. Steele?377Lets call on someonefrom the hot zone.378Elle Woods?379Actually, I wasnt awarethat we had an assignment.380Vivian Kensington.381Do you think its acceptablethat Ms. Woods is not prepared?382I dont.383Would you support my decisionto ask her to leave class.384and to returnonly when she is prepared?385Absolutely.386Now, Ms. Kensington.387did diversity jurisdictionexist in this case?388No, it did not.389Good. How about in the caseof Owens vs. McCullogh?390I cant believe that girl.391So stupid!392Who does she think she is?393Excuse me. Are you OK?394Do they put you on the spotlike that all the time?395The professors?396They tend to do that.Socratic method.397If you dont know the answers,they just kick you out?398You have Stromwell, huh?399Yes!Did she do that to you, too?400No.But she did make me cry once.401Not in class. I waitedtill I got back to my room.402but shell kick youright in the ball-403Or wherever, you know.404Shes really tough.405Great.406Dont worry, it gets better.Who else do you have?407I have Callahan, Royalton,and Levinthal.408Lets see, speak upin Callahans class.409He really likes peoplethat are opinionated.410And in Royaltons class.411try to get a seat in the back.412He spits when he talksabout products liability.413And for Levinthal, make sureyou read the footnotes.414Thats where he getsa lot of his exam questions.415Right.416Wow.Im really glad I met you.417Are you a third year?418- Well- Hey, Elle.419Hi!Thanks for all your help.420Good luck.421So.422how was your first class?423It was good, except forthis horrible preppy girl.424who made me look badin front of the professor.425But no biggie.426Youre here now.So, how was your summer?427Good. It was good.428Did you do anything exciting?429Have you met Vivian?430Hi. Vivian Kensington.431Do you know her?432- Shes- Im his fiancee.433Im sorry.I just hallucinated. What?434She was my girlfriendin prep school.435And, well, we got back togetherthis summer.436at my grandmothersbirthday party.437Warner told me all about you.438Youre famous at our club.439But he didnt tell meyoud be here.440Pooh bear,I didnt know she would be here.441Excuse me.442Oh, thank God!443Are you free?Its an emergency.444Bad day?445You cant even imagine.446Spill.447I worked so hardto get into law school.448I blew off Greek weekto study for the LSATs.449I even hired a Coppolato direct my admissions video.450All to getmy boyfriend Warner back.451And now hes engagedto this a