考博英语作文点评.doc

一、金融危机(答题型议论文)Financial CrisisIt is no denying the fact that (T)the ongoing international financial crisis has landed the world economy in the most difficult situation since last centurys Great Depression. A mass of unemployment, housing problem and difficult business conditions for enterprises (and housing problem) have influenced our (life) lives in many aspects. Therefore,just as the saying goes, “A fall in a pit, a gain in your wit”, We must learn from this crisis and spare no efforts to take some measure to solve this problem. (As we know that )Actually, there are many steps which can be (taken)adopted to (undo) deal with this problem. First of all, the government (would) should (introduce) establish relevant policies to help graduates and migrant workers find jobs and (provide) offer more government-funded jobs in public service. In addition, another way contributing to the success of solving the problem is to help the enterprises overcome the difficult period with the structural tax cut and technical innovation. At the same time, the government (would) is bound to increase spending in housing project to help vulnerable groups have the residence in both urban and rural areas.(Above) All in all, to solve the problem of financial crisis, both the government and ordinary people should join hands to carry out effective measures. As a big responsible and developing country, China should act in an active and responsible way during this crisis to keep the steady and fast growth of its economy, and contribute our power for global financial stability and world economic growth.评论：写作还是需要使用书面语和适当地使用一些常用句型，特别是在开头和结尾。建议特别注意词汇的搭配和词组的使用。Above all是“首先”，不是“总而言之”，如果要表示总结归纳就要换成all in all。二、信息技术（利弊型议论文）Information TechnologyNowadays, there is a widespread concern over the use of information technology. Generally speaking, it is widely believed that (there are) it has several positive aspects as follows. (Firstly) First and foremost, the internet, a typical application of information technology, presents an opportunity for the advancement of acquisition and application of knowledge. (And secondly) Whats more, the internet provides people with a virtual existence which is far more appealing than the traditional life. For instance, people are able to watch various TV programs or even movies, instructive or entertaining, after a days hard work. In addition, with the help of frequently used softwares like msn or QQ, it is also very convenient for us to contact with our relatives and friends even if they are thousands of miles away from us.However, we cannot deny the fact that the information technology also has its side effects. To begin with, the problem of information security is undoubtedly the most serious and threatening. Some malicious hackers would take advantage of the technology to invade our computers and steal our private information, such as our ID card numbers and the password of our e-bank accounts. Whats more, some youngsters could not resist the temptation of sexy photo gates, which is obviously harmful for their psychological health. Last but not the least, many people have difficulty coping with the increased social and technological complexity and the overload brought forth by the information technology. To sum up, we should try to bring the advantages of the information technology into full play, and reduce the disadvantages to the minimum at the same time. In that case, we will definitely make a better use of the information technology.评论：博士英语写作最重要的一项技巧就是举例，一定要学会通过例举来支持你的观点，这样会让你的文章显得比较饱满，论证得更加充分。运用名言警句的时候注意不要使用那些陈词滥调，特别是Every coin has two sides！要注意定冠词的正确使用。三、食品安全Food SafetyCurrently, there is a widespread concern over food safety problem. Take Sanlu milk power for example, (Such as) many children have suffered from (killed by) kidney stone or even died because of the melamine added in its contaminated milk. It has already become a serious problem which has threatened our survival in this world. As a result, we must spare no efforts to take some measures to solve this problem.As we know, (that) there are many steps which can be taken to cope with this problem. First of all, (all the) those corporations which have the guilty conscience should be fined heavily and be required to (have to) make compensation for those victims. The leaders of these companies ought to take the legal responsibility and those who have committed crimes should be thrown into prison or even be sentenced to death. In addition, it is urgent for the government to establish food safety supervision and management system and strengthen food safety control “from the production line to the dining table” so as to guarantee the quality of food. Last but not the least, the knowledge of health should be popularized, and the awareness of personal health among the people in both urban and rural areas should be raised.(Above all) Therefore, we cannot wait for more innocent people to suffer from inferior or even harmful food. Various measures should be taken immediately to punish those malicious merchants and provide the common people with safe and satisfactory food.评论：不能说as we know that,模板不能生搬硬套，一定要看它是否适用于文章的主题，一般来说在结尾段应该要首尾呼应，重申主题，不能光说一些无关痛痒的没有营养的话。四、和谐社会Establish A Harmonious SocietyNowadays，establishing a “harmonious society” is (today) the catchphrase of Chinas political life, (it) which is really an important concern to every one of us. As a result, we must spare no efforts to take some measures to realize the dream.To begin with, the government is bound to carry out various policies to help the graduates and migrant workers find jobs and provide more government-funded jobs in public service. In addition, it is also necessary for us to increase public funds for compulsory education in rural areas, offer more financial support to students from poor families and improve the well-being of middle and primary school teachers so as to promote equity in education and optimize the educational structure. At the same time, the government is supposed to increase the spending in housing project so that the vulnerable groups in both urban and rural areas (have) could have a residence to live in (in both urban and rural areas).Actually, we need to make enormous efforts to establish a harmonious society. It is not merely the responsibility of the Chinese government. Every one of us should make contributions to realize this aim. 评论：establishing a harmonious society可不是什么社会问题，而是我们应该竭力去达成的目标。如果能增加一些有代表性的例子，可能会使你的论证更有说服力。在开头可以描述一下和谐社会的模式或是给其下一个定义。五、失业问题UnemploymentNowadays, more and more university graduates and migrant workers complain that they experience great difficulties in finding jobs. If we ignore the problem, it may lead to more serious social problems, which will certainly threaten the stability and prosperity of this society. Therefore, we must spare no efforts to take some measures to solve this problem of unemployment.First of all, various policies and measures should be carried out by the government to provide college graduates and migrant workers with more job opportunities. (Secondly) Whats more, the unemployed should receive vocational training, which is expected to pay off in the short term and give them an advantage in the job market. It is due to the lack of professional skills that these workers ha