【英语趣闻】美国人最喜欢的幽默段子.doc

【英语趣闻】美国人最喜欢的幽默段子1、I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.我的品味最简单了，我总是对最好的感到满意注：前一句好像在说自己对品味要求不高2、If you love something set it free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”如果你爱某人，就给他自由，但是如果他患了疱疹回来，你不要吃惊3、Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.智慧来自经验，经验常常是缺少智慧的结果4、Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.嘿，Rosalie？你知道怎样淹死一个金发美女吗？在池塘底部粘上一面镜子注：美国有不少说金发美女愚蠢的笑话，在池底照镜子被淹死了5、In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.起初，什么也没有，然后就爆炸了注：宇宙中最早什么也没有，然后就大爆炸了6、Life doesnt imitate art, it imitates bad television.生活不模仿艺术，它模仿糟糕的电视节目注：人们的生活没有那么高的艺术性，年轻人模仿一些糟糕的电视节目而已好消息！好消息！线话英语为了满足更多用户的需求，也为了感谢大家对线话英语教育的支持和肯定，我们准备了一系列的优惠活动等着大家来领取。还在纠结选哪家英语培训学校的大家我们特此准备了一键注册线话英语网站，立即就能获得体验试听课。机会难得不容错过，还有更多优惠活动即将推出。敬请关注线话英语官方网站。7、To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.失去一个父母可能会被认为是不幸，两个都lose(失去，走丢)看起来就像是粗心了。注：第一个“lose”是“失去”的意思，第二个”lose”应该是“丢失”的意思，没看好父母，把父母丢了，这孩子太粗心了。8、What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course”我在床上穿什么？这还用问吗？当然是香奈儿5号9、The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.我岁数越大越不相信“岁月带来智慧”这种熟悉的说法。注：意思是“我岁数越来越大，可为什么还不见智慧的到来”。10、The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, youre still a rat.”商业上激烈竞争的不幸是，即使你胜了，你依然是一只老鼠注：rat race(商界的)激烈竞争；字面意思：老鼠竞赛11、Just because youre beautiful and perfect,its made you conceited.正是因为你美丽、完美，才让你变得自负注：真会夸人12、Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.老鼠是要让我们明白，自然界不是每样东西都有用途13、The covers of this book are too far apart.这本书的封面相距太远了注：说那本书很厚14、Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”这就是他们为什么称之为美国梦，因为你一定要睡着了才能相信它15、Youre an idiot.Ive never claimed to be otherwise.你是个傻瓜我从来没有声称我不是16、Confidence is ignorance. If youre feeling cocky, its because theres something you dont know.自信是无知，如果你感到过于自信，那是因为有些事情你不知道17、Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”严格法律意义上讲，我没带武器，但是谁也不应该低估指甲能够造成的伤害，特别是如果目标没有准备18、There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.世界上只有一件事情比被人谈论更糟糕，那就是不被人谈论注：很多演员说讨厌被人八卦，不被人八卦才着急呢19、If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldnt brood. Id type a little faster.如果我的医生告诉我，我的生命只剩下6分钟了，我就不会