5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》.doc

搞笑英语话剧剧本西门吹雪与叶孤城搞笑5人剧本西门吹雪与叶孤城演员表：西门吹雪叶孤城花满楼king旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇X：Oh ,I am sorry to knock you !Y: Ha-ha, Never mind bay-bay.X: Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y: Ha-Ha ,I wont change my name! no matter what happens. Im the most famous-Ye Gu cheng. Who are you?X: I am Ximenchuixue.Y惊讶: Ar, ximenchui xue?X: Yes, what is wrong? Y: I heard that you are the besting Martial Arts?X: Great, you know me !Y抱腿：Please, please Dont kill me! Let me you go!X: No, I must kill you !Y: I dont want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X: No way! Because we are fighting now! you know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don t force me!X: Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y: please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha-haY: Do you still want to kill me?X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X: Im sure I wont!Y: I must give you a lesson! If I dont beat your this time, youllneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下： Oach -Oach !Y大笑：Ha-HaX可怜状: help! Help! Where is the wash room?Y: What ?X: Toilet?Y: What ?X: The “WC”?Y: Oh, I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!X: Thanks, bye-bye.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is genuine snow!H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y: Who are you?H: Hua-man-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now,haH惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y: You are right !H : Teriffic !you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us ?Y: Yes ,Its very good .H: Ok , follow me , Lets go to see my king !Y: Ok ,Lets go!第二幕：无间道H: My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you ! （指Y） this is yegucheng .K: sit down please , yegucheng.H走到Y前，婚礼进行曲起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , sear and aids?Y: Yes , I do .K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Only you(看到戒子) this ring should be mine!K: But who are you ? Why should it belong you?Y急切: king! Debarking !I must go now ,my brother is looking for me ! huo xi(维语再见)K: huo xi? What does that mean? It is not English, isnt it ?Y: How cleverX冷酷:yegucheng! Come here !I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X: Forgive me? Why?Y: Once there was a change before me ,I lost it. If the god give me another chance, Ill tell you “I love you” ,If there must be a limited period ,I hope it is a thousand years!X: You shall cheat me !all you did are wrong ! how can you tell the ladys “WC”!Y:I like going ladys WC .III think that you like what I like.(又拿出一袋牛奶)X: m-i-l-k ? haha , a yi xi da lu!(我爱你的意思)K: a yi xi da lu? Whats the meaning? Why I also cant understand you?X: You are stupid! It means “I love you”.K: Dont say that “you love me”. Ill kill you for you saying dirty words to me!X: What? (侧耳装着听不到) You-kill-me ?come, come(上去抓住K)K: Fuck you. I must kill you!X: How can you kill me? hahaY: Let me have a try! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)K: thank you very much, you save me . Now, Ill give you the ticket for American to let you have a vacation.Y: Thats good. But there is one more thing. Can you give me a MM ?I want to go American with her.K: of course .You are the one who has the similar taste with me! HahahaY: Hahaha-H: Wheres somewhere?K: What? Y: Do you want to go to the ladys “WC”?X: Yes, II do.H顶着摇头：X, no , no， you cant go to Ladys “WC”. That is not the place where you can go into because you are X ! you are the best man of Chinese Kongfu !X: what if Im the best in the world? !why I try my best to live but Im still so miserable ? when can I get my freedom? Must be the dead day ? !K: you are right. One will not be clever until the day he die. In that case ,why will you die in such a bad sorrow way !go into the Ladys WC , then die , comfortably ! go ahead !H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?H: my real name is LuXiaofeng-the wife of X .Im a spy.K惊讶: !you-you-You are LuXiaofeng ? Xs wife ?Y: I have already recognized you . do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! because of you ,I decide not to believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说) will die ,go and see him ,please .H扑倒在的身边：, dot die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning ! K: what a moving story !I was impressed !Y: life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !H: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it neednt resume ! (H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，吓跑.音乐再见，警察起)Y痛苦状: dont leave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please not abandon me !realize that Im wrong .help me ,I intend to be back ,help me ,beg you-help me . Ill never do that again !(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影我的父亲母亲原声音乐起）H: X , oh , no ,you cant die ,we will go home together .X: go home ! ?H: Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love !X: do you want me live a life in such a sorrow way ? ok , ok , I promise I will believe for you .but !you know, I dont have time left ,but you have ,promise that you will be happy everyday !You must do me this favor. promise me you will survive. that