考研1号考研英语《写作160篇》“拔苗助长”读者练习在线修改.doc

考研1号考研英语写作160篇“拔苗助长”读者练习在线修改写作原文The picture presents us a thought-provoking scene, in which a father attempts to force his young son to read books with regard to early-MBA. By contrast, reluctant as the son is, he has to go on his study to meet his fathers tough requirement.What an ironical drawing it is! Indeed, an increasing number of parents tend to put too much pressure on their childrens study. The reason why such phenomenon happens can be interpreted as follows. One the one hand, from the parents perspective, the children are likely to fall behind when competing with their counterparts if they dont start learning early. On the other hand, since most of the parents today have suffer from a miserable childhood and read little, the enthusiasm for taking further study naturally remains to the present generation.With what has mentioned above, I suggest parents should take children to visit more zoos, scenic spots or historic relics, which is also a way to educate the children and will benefit them more efficiently. That is to say, only following the natural laws can a child grow up healthily.原作点评第一段点评The picture presents us a thought-provoking scene, in which a father attempts to force his young son to read books with regard to early-MBA. By contrast, reluctant as the son is, he has to go on his study to meet his fathers tough requirement.一段描绘了漫画内容。写得非常好，运用了非限定性定语从句以及倒装句式。建议这里的by contrast改成but，by contrast在有明显的反面对照时才使用。第二段点评What an ironical drawing it is! Indeed, an increasing number of parents tend to put too much pressure on their childrens study. The reason why such phenomenon happens can be interpreted as follows. One the one hand, from the parents perspective, the children are likely to fall behind when competing with their counterparts if they dont start learning early. On the other hand, since most of the parents today have suffer from a miserable childhood and read little, the enthusiasm for taking further study naturally remains to the present generation.二段揭示主题并分析缘由。写得也非常好，但是请注意个别细节问题。第三句，注意on one handon the other hand固定搭配的正确使用。第四句，本句话写的很好，但是意思上稍微有点不妥当，建议稍作修改，since most of the parents today have suffer from knowing little, the enthusiasm of learning more naturally remains to the present generation，这样就很完美了。第三段点评With what has mentioned above, I suggest parents should take children to visit more zoos, scenic spots or historic relics, which is also a way to educate the children and will benefit them more efficiently. That is to say, only following the natural laws can a child grow up healthily.三段总结全文，提出自己的见解。第一句，应该表述“鉴于以上情况，我建议”，因此with what has mentioned above改成In view of the above，I suggest。总体点评文章亮点：文章思路清晰，观点明确，语句优美，长句写得很漂亮。进步非常大，请继续坚持，您有望在写作板块得到优秀分数！文章错误：整体把握：字数很合理，不算多也不少。（考研要求160-200words）语法错误：文章出现了个别语法错误（譬如主谓一致等）。表达问题：注意个别语句在语义上的很理性。修改意见：坚持背诵考研160篇的必背20篇，培养更强的语言感知力；坚持利用相应时间读21世纪等英文刊物，提高语言感知力。参考分数（满分20分）：15修改展示The picture presents us a thought-provoking scene, in which a father attempts to force his younger son to read books with regard to early-MBA. But reluctant as the son is, he has to go on his study to meet his fathers tough requirement.What an ironical drawing it is! It reveals that an increasing number of parents tend to put too much pressure on their childrens study. The reason why such phenomenon happens can be interpreted as follows. One one hand, from the parents perspective, children are likely to fall behind when competing with their counterparts if they dont start learning early. On the other hand, since most of the parents today have suffer from knowing little, the enthusiasm of learning more things naturally remains to the present generation.In view of the above, I suggest that parents should take their children to visit zoos, s