conversation课堂presentation题目.ppt

Whatmakesarealgoodconversation?,Wealluselanguagetocommunicate,toexpressourselves,togetourideasacross,andtoconnectwiththepersontowhomwearespeaking.Whenarelationshipisworking,theactofcommunicatingseemstoflowrelativelyeffortlessly.Whenarelationshipisdeteriorating,theactofcommunicatingcanbeasfrustratingasclimbingahillofsand.-ChipRose,attorneyandmediator,Conflictinarelationshipisvirtuallyinevitable.Initself,conflictisntaproblem;howitshandled,however,canbringpeopletogetherortearthemapart.Poorcommunicationskills,disagreementsandmisunderstandingscanbeasourceofangeranddistance,oraspringboardtoastrongerrelationshipandhappierfuture.Nexttimeyouredealingwithconflict,keepthesetipsoneffectivecommunicationskillsinmindandyoucancreateamorepositiveoutcome.,HeresHow:StayFocused:Sometimesitstemptingtobringuppastseeminglyrelatedconflictswhendealingwithcurrentones.Unfortunately,thisoftencloudstheissueandmakesfindingmutualunderstandingandasolutiontothecurrentissuelesslikely,andmakesthewholediscussionmoretaxingandevenconfusing.Trynottobringuppasthurtsorothertopics.Stayfocusedonthepresent,yourfeelings,understandingoneanotherandfindingasolution.,ListenCarefully:Peopleoftenthinktheyrelistening,butarereallythinkingaboutwhattheyregoingtosaynextwhentheotherpersonstopstalking.Trulyeffectivecommunicationgoesbothways.Whileitmightbedifficult,tryreallylisteningtowhatyourpartnerissaying.Dontinterrupt.Dontgetdefensive.Justhearthemandreflectbackwhattheyresayingsotheyknowyouveheard.Thenyoullunderstandthembetterandtheyllbemorewillingtolistentoyou.,TryToSeeTheirPointofView:Inaconflict,mostofusprimarilywanttofeelheardandunderstood.Wetalkalotaboutourpointofviewtogettheotherpersontoseethingsourway.Ironically,ifwealldothisallthetime,thereslittlefocusontheotherpersonspointofview,andnobodyfeelsunderstood.Trytoreallyseetheotherside,andthenyoucanbetterexplainyours.(Ifyoudontgetit,askmorequestionsuntilyoudo.)Otherswillmorelikelybewillingtolisteniftheyfeelheard.,RespondtoCriticismwithEmpathy:Whensomeonecomesatyouwithcriticism,itseasytofeelthattheyrewrong,andgetdefensive.Whilecriticismishardtohear,andoftenexaggeratedorcoloredbytheotherpersonsemotions,itsimportanttolistenfortheotherpersonspainandrespondwithempathyfortheirfeelings.Also,lookforwhatstrueinwhattheyresaying;thatcanbevaluableinformationforyou.,OwnWhatsYours:Realizethatpersonalresponsibilityisastrength,notaweakness.Effectivecommunicationinvolvesadmittingwhenyourewrong.Ifyoubothsharesomeresponsibilityinaconflict(whichisusuallythecase),lookforandadmittowhatsyours.Itdiffusesthesituation,setsagoodexample,andshowsmaturity.Italsoofteninspirestheotherpersontorespondinkind,leadingyoubothclosertomutualunderstandingandasolution.,Use“I”Messages:Ratherthansayingthingslike,“Youreallymesseduphere,”beginstatementswith“I”,andmakethemaboutyourselfandyourfeelings,like,“Ifeelfrustratedwhenthishappens.”Itslessaccusatory,sparkslessdefensiveness,andhelpstheotherpersonunderstandyourpointofviewratherthanfeelingattacked.,LookforCompromiseInsteadoftryingtowintheargument,lookforsolutionsthatmeeteverybodysneeds.Eitherthroughcompromise,oranewsolutionthatgivesyoubothwhatyouwantmost,thisfocusismuchmoreeffectivethanonepersongettingwhattheywantattheothersexpense.Healthycommunicationinvolvesfindingaresolutionthatbothsidescanbehappywith.,TakeaTime-Out:Sometimestempersgetheatedanditsjusttoodifficulttocontinueadiscussionwithoutitbecominganargumentorafight.Ifyoufeelyourselforyourpartnerstartingtogettooangrytobeconstructive,orshowingsomedestructivecommunicationpatterns,itsokaytotakeabreakfromthediscussionuntilyoubothcooloff.Sometimesgoodcommunicationmeansknowingwhentotakeabreak.,DontGiveUp:Whiletakingabreakfromthediscussionissometimesagoodidea,alwayscomebacktoit.Ifyoubothapproachthesituationwithaconstructiveattitude,mutualrespect,andawillingnesstoseetheotherspointofvieworatleastfindasolution,youcanmakeprogresstowardthegoalofaresolutiontotheconflict.Unlessitstimetogiveupontherelationship,dontgiveuponcommunication.,AskForHelpIfYouNeedIt:Ifoneorbothofyouhastroublestayingrespectfulduringconflict,orifyouvetriedresolvingconflictwithyourpartneronyourownandthesituationjustdoesntseemtobeimproving,youmightbenefitfromafewsessionswithatherapist.Couplescounselingorfamilytherapycanprovidehelpwithaltercationsandteachskillstoresolvefutureconflict.Ifyourpartnerdoesntwanttogo,youcanstilloftenbenefitfromgoingalone.,THETHREECOMPONENTSOFCOMMUNICATION,Inordertocommunicateeffectively,wemustuseallthreecomponentstodotwothings:,1.Sendclear,concisemessages.2.Hearandcorrectlyunderstandmessagessomeoneissendingtous.,SENDINGMESSAGES,EffectiveVerbalMessages:1.Arebrief,succinct,andorganized2.Arefreeofjargon3.Donotcreateresistanceinthelistener,ParaverbalMessages:1.Accountforabout38%ofwhatisperceivedandunderstoodbyothers.2.Includethetone,pitch,andpacingofourvoic,NonverbalMessages:1.Accountforabout55%ofwhatisperceivedandunderstoodbyothers.2.Areconveyedthroughourfacialexpressionsaswellasourposturesandgestures.,FacialExpression,PosturesandGestures,RECEIVINGMESSAGES,Listening1.Requiresconcentrationandenergy2.Involvesapsychologicalconnectionwiththespeaker3.Includesadesireandwillingnesstotryandseethingsfromanothersperspective4.Requiresthatwesuspendjudgmentandevaluation,Listeningindialogueislisteningmoretomeaningthantowords.Intruelistening,wereachbehindthewords,seethroughthem,tofindthepersonwhoisbeingrevealed.Listeningisasearchtofindthetreasureofthetruepersonasrevealedverballyandnonverbally.Thereisthesemanticproblem,ofcourse.Thewordsbearadifferentconnotationforyouthantheydoforme.Consequently,Icannevertellyouwhatyousaid,butonlywhatIheard.Iwillhavetorephrasewhatyouhavesaid,andcheckitoutwithyoutomakesurethatwhatle