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高中英语复习写作讲评课Assessmenttakeitas;openitforPlacesofinterest/touristattractionsAttracttourists/appealtovisitors/beattractionforvisitors,Giveto/Rentto/berentedtoSportcompany/companieswhichorganizematches/organizingmatchesMake/createmoney;bringinmoney/makemoreprofits,Open/beopenedtothepeople/public/openthemtopublic.Beusedfor/as;bemadeto;Dosomeexercise/buildourbodies/strengthenourbodies,信息2信息3信息4,向公众开放,用于健身,租给体育公司,创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客,正文,11,2.列提纲/要点,.,信息5,总结,意愿,结尾,Inmyopinion/asfarasIamconcerned./frommypointofview.IwouldappreciateIwouldyouwillthinkof/takeintoconsideration.,12,开头信息1,08年奥运会刚刚落幕.征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.你想写一些建议.,.,3.连词成句,The2008BeijingOlympicGameswereover/finished.The29thOlympicGameswereheldsuccessfullyinBeijing.Beijinghostedthe29thOlympicGameswithagreatsuccess.,The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.Beijingachieveditsdreamofhostingthe29thOlympicGamessuccessfully.,CollectsomeadviceHowtouse/makeuseof/makethebestofthestadiums.AftertheOlympicGamesAfterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames.,YouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakeuseofthestadiumsafterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames.IhearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGamessuccessfully.,Wanttowritesomeadvice/WouldliketogiveyousomeadviceContributesomesuggestionstoyou.,Iwouldliketogiveyousomeadvice.Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou,13,4.Useitas/beusedfor/as;takeitas;openitforPlacesofinterests/touristattractionsAttracttourists/appealtovisitors/beattractionforvisitors,3.Giveto/Rentto/berentedtoSportcompany/companieswhichorganizematches/organizingmatchesMake/createmoney;bringinmoney/makemoreprofits,信息2信息3信息4,向公众开放,用于健身,租给体育公司,创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客,正文,3.连词成句,2.Open/beopenedtothepeople/public/openthemtopublic.Beusedfor/as;bemadeto;Dosomeexercise/buildourbody/strengthenourbodies,2.Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanbuildtheirbodies/strengthentheirbodies,3.Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmoremoney/makemoreprofits,4.Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.,14,.,信息5,总结,意愿,结尾,Inmyopinion/asfarasIamconcerned./frommypointofview.IwouldappreciateIwouldyouwillthinkof/takeintoconsideration.Inaword,3.连词成句,Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefulluseofthestadium.Iwouldappreciateitifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration,15,4.连句成篇,Para.1:The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiums.Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.,Para.2:Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanbuildtheirbodies/strengthentheirbodies.Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmoremoney/makemoreprofits.Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.,Para.3:Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium.Iwouldappreciateitifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration,16,4.连句成篇,Para.1:The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiums.Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.,Para.1:Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.,17,4.连句成篇,Para.2:Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.,Para.2:Firstofall,thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Secondly,Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.lastbutnotleast,Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.,FirstofallFirstly,Tobeginwith,Inaddition,Besides,Moreover,Whatsmore,Finally,Whatsworse,18,使用恰当的连接词,first;firstly;second;secondly;lastbutnotleast,and;too;aswellas;alongwith;togetherwith,forexample;forinstance;like;suchas;asto,but;however;while;though;onthecontrary,because;since;thanksto;asaresult/consequence(of);thus;therefore,inaword;inshort;tosumup;inconclusion,whatsmore;besides;tomakemattersworse;whatsworse;worsestill;furthermore,19,4.连句成篇,Iheardyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.Firstofall,thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Secondly,Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.lastbutnotleast,Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium.Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration,5.润色修正,20,二.使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,三.巧用倒装增强句子表现力,四.尝试多样化表达方式,5.润色修正方式,一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,强调句,With短语复合结构,定语从句,名词性从句(主宾表同从句),各种状语从句,被动语态,21,1.Manypeoplewanttovisitthestadium.2.Thestadiumisuseful.,Manypeoplearedyingtovisitthestadium.,Thestadiumisofgreatvalue.,一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,5.润色修正,22,1.The29thOlympicGamesweresuccessfullyended.Itleftmanystadiumsunused,The29thOlympicGamesweresuccessfullyended,leavingmanystadiumsunused.,二.使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,5.润色修正,23,1.wecanletstadiummakesenseOnlywhenwemakefulluseofthestadium2.Thestadiumscanberentedtothephysicalcompanytocreatemoreeconomicprofits.theycanbetheplacestoappealvisitorstopayavisit.,Onlywhenwemakefulluseofthestadiumcanweletstadiummakesense.,Notonlycanthestadiumsberentedtothephysicalcompanytocreatemoreeconomicprofits,butalsotheycanbetheplacestoappealvisitorstopayavisit.,5.润色修正,三.巧用倒装增强句子表现力,24,WeshouldtaketheOlympicstadiumsintoconsiderationafterBeijinghostedthegamessuccessfully.The29thOlympicGameswereendedsuccessfully.westarttalkingabouthowtousethestadiumsproperlyforourdailylives,ItistheOlympicstadiumsthatweshouldtakeintoconsiderationafterBeijinghostedthegamessuccessfully.,Withthe29thOlympicGamesendedsuccessfully,westarttalkingabouthowtousethestadiumsproperlyforourdailylives.,5.润色修正,四.尝试多样化表达方式,强调句,With短语复合结构,25,Youcanopenthemforthepublic.Thestadiumscanbeusedtotakeexercise.,Youcanopenthestadiumswhichcanbeusedtotakeexerciseforthepublic.,5.润色修正,四.尝试多样化表达方式,定语从句,各种状语从句,我们锻炼的越多,我们就越健康。,Themoreexerciseswetake,thehealthierwewillbecome.,被动语态,Weshouldpaymoreattentiontothestadiums.,Moreattentionshouldbepaidtothestadiums.,26,Iheardyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.Firstofall,thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Secondly,Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.lastbutnotleast,Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium.Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration,5.润色修正,27,高考书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求,第五档(21-25分)完全完成了试题规定的任务:准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容,要点无遗漏应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇有少许错误,但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式所致;具备较强的语言应用能力有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑完全达到了预期的写作目的。,第四档(16-20分)完成了试题规定的任务:比较准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求语法结构和词汇应用基本准确,少许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语言结构或词汇所致应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑达到了预期的写作目的。,28,Withthe29thOlympicGamesendedsuccessfully,Whatweshoulddonowishowtomakefulluseofthestadiums.Iheardyouaredyingforsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofth
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