竞争与合作作文选集及教师点评

.一、四级作文评分标准：2分 （相当于14.2/710） 条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。（一塌糊涂）5分 （相当于35.5/710） 基本切题。表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。有较多的严重语言错误。（糊里糊涂）8分 （相当于56.8/710） 基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯；语言错误相多，其中有一些是严重错误。（马马虎虎）11分 （相当于78.1/710） 切题。表达思想清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语言错误。（清清楚楚）14分 （相当于99.4/710） 切题。表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性好。基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错。（漂漂亮亮）二、作文讲评Directions: For this part, you are required to write a composition on the topic Competition and Cooperation. You should write at least 120 words and base your composition on the outline given in Chinese below:1. 在生活中，我们到处都能见到竞争。2. 有时竞争与合作是并存的。3. 我们要以正确的态度对待竞争与合作。审题步骤：1. 在生活中，我们到处都能见到竞争。第一段的关键词是“到处都能见到竞争”，用列举法稍作展开，点到为止。2. 有时竞争与合作是并存的。第二段重点论述两者之间的关系，用一个具体事例来论证两者是如何并存的后，再列举几个同样的事例补充说明，会使得论证充分翔实些。3. 我们要以正确的态度对待竞争与合作。第三段关键词在“态度”上。可以使用观点陈述法；也可以使用辩证法来说明不同的态度会带来的不同影响。三、本次作文的总体印象：1. 多数同学都能做到基本切题和切题；2. 能运用所学句型结构和高频词汇表达思想；3. 多数同学能做到卷面整洁，书写较工整；4. 少数同学未能按照写作提纲展开段落；5. 部分同学存在语言表达不够简洁或表达不清楚的问题；6. 段与段之间的过渡问题、句和句之间的连贯性问题；7. 拼写问题；competition四、范文赏析Sample 1 for Paragraph 1Competition exists in widely varied activities. Players of the same football team compete for slots on the team. In a workplace, colleagues compete for higher positions. And also in business, firms become rivals for more consumers and a bigger markets share. As for students, we compete in the studies for the opportunities to join in a society. （运用列举法简要说明竞争无处不在）(13分)（13级生科张蒙）Sample 2 for Paragraph 1Competition is a common phenomenon in our social life. We compete when we play games, we try to do better than others in study, and our job, fame, wealth and something else all involve competition. Consequently, we can say that, to some extent, competition is one of the driving forces of the development of the society. (12分) （13级物理朱朝阳）Sample for Paragraph 2For example, a film is released successfully as a result of the willing cooperative efforts of many workers. But different films compete against each other for higher profits at the “box office”(票房). Actually, there are a lot of phenomenon paralleling shooting a movie in these respects such as the debate and the production of goods.（举例贴切、新颖） (13分)（13级历史付梅颦）Sample 1 for Paragraph 3To avoid meaningless competition, what we should do can be listed as follows. Firstly, to consider competition as a method of improving ourselves, we are supposed to take competitors as accompanies who can company us on the way of life instead of our enemies. Furthermore, it would be a blessing if we can pull together with prospective competitors to advance achievements. By cooperating with them, we can undoubtablyundoubtedly, strengthen ourselves and find out their disadvantages in hope of seizing the opportunity. (观点陈述清楚、有条理。) (13分)（13级历史骆勇）Sample 2 for Paragraph 3It follows that there is an inseparable relationship between competition and cooperation. We cooperate with others to be more competitive, and we compete to earn a better environment for cooperation. Thus, we can make a progress continuously. So, we should keep a right attitude about this: Only together with cooperation, can competition lead us to realize our common goals and encourage us to build a peaceful and prosperous society.（句式变化灵活多样！）（14分）（13级历史程子璇）Sample 2 for Paragraph 2Although the “law of the jungle” which makes many people become out of work seems to be pretty cutthroat. However, cooperation is also wildly distributed in the market and our daily life. Actually, they even rely on each other to reach a balance, because if employers always prefer to reflect on how could they beat their rivals rather than meet and satisfy the demands of the consumers, no one would be the winner at last. (12分)（13级物理严体曾）Sample 3 for Paragraph 2Competition is vital for a better life, but, does it mean that, cooperation is of no use? The answe is definitely no! (承上启下，过渡自然) In fact, competition and cooperation exist side by side in many situations. For example, like an researcher longing for Nobel Award, its a must for him or her to cooperate with others and work together with the whole team to defeat the opponents. （13分）（13级心理莫宇琪）Sample 3 for Paragraph 3Its the attitude towards competition and cooperation we hold that determines whether we can have a colorful life. If we take competitom too seriously, life will be pale, and greed will destroy ourselves. In contrast, life will be so dull, and well lose our individuality. Hold a correct attitude to coordinate competition and cooperation; only in this way can we live a harmonious life. (12分) （13级物理杨军文）Sample 1Competition exists widely in our daily life. For instance, students compete for grades, workers compete for higher positions and different firms compete for profits. (语言简洁，紧扣exist widely展开说明生活中，竞争无处不在。)However, competition is inseparable from cooperation. Indeed, to succeed in competition requires great cooperation skills. A basketball team is an unequaled example of cooperation, yet competition has a role to play even in teams. Different members compete for each other seat in the team. Moreover, different teams compete for the championship. The production of steel, the operation of a department store, and the publication of a magazine all involve both cooperation and competition. Competition and cooperation exist side by side in human society.（本段的结论句，总结自然不突兀，合乎逻辑。）Free market competition is often described as “cutthroat” and “wasteful”, yet in competitive markets; firms dont attack each other savagely. They compete by seeing who can best cooperate with consumers. They survive as long as each cooperates with consumers effectively enough to earn profits. Far from undermining cooperation, the market enhances cooperation. Both competition and cooperation have their own roles to play in building a peaceful and prosperous society. （13分）点评这篇文章能很好地紧扣主题，详略得当。语言表达流畅、通顺，能活学活用所学课文中的句式和词语表达思想。第一段语言简洁，列举得当；第二、三段为文章的主体部分。尤其是第二段，作者运用事例很好的阐述了竞争与合作之间的关系。第三段若能在段首点明我们应该采取怎样的态度来对待竞争与合作，就更完美了。（13级生科高越）Sample 2Competition is common in every field of our daily life. We compete with others competition when we play games, when we try to do better than others in our study and when we constantly compete for jobs, fame, profit, etc.（列举事例简明扼要）Some people think competition is the only way to lead to success. However, cooperation is the same essential to success. We can often find competition and cooperation go hand in hand. In football team, one team is competing with the other, but each member of the team is cooperating with his teammates. In most cases, we can not compete without cooperation. Cooperation can build trust between each other and help to bring long-term relationship. Human beings are social beings. No one can exist alone in the society. Cooperation makes a win-win situation.In my opinion, while advocating competition, we should never forget cooperation.（分词结构的句子运用，好！） In our daily life, cooperation is especially necessary because most work is has to be fulfilled with by many other people. Pure and exclusive competition leads to failure. Only when competition combines with cooperation, can it help in building our goals and satisfying our needs.（倒装句的运用，好！）点评本文能紧扣主题，层次分明，条理清楚。语言表达流畅连贯，句式变化多样，亮点语言也随处可见。虽有少数小的语言错误，但瑕不掩瑜。（13分）（13级生科李莎） Sample 3Competition is an eternal theme in the modern society, resulting from the scarce allocation of stuff and promoting the enhancement of social productivity.To a certain extent, competition goes hand in hand with cooperation. Indeed, the cooperation among competitors who persue pursue mutual utilities is likely to boost more benefit. The operation of a department store is an unequaled example. Different staff competes against each other for higher position. Meanwhile, they all oriented around the consumers, rendering satisfactory service in hope of defeating other stores. Moreover, tacit cooperation is on the foundation of the deep understanding of competition.In conclusion, only when we forge a close link between competition and cooperation, can we enjoy a more harmonious and prosperous society. However, if we believe that competition and cooperation are in opposition to each other, chances are high that we will be hardly merged in the rapid progressional progressive world.（14分）（13级生科汤雨倩）点评这篇作文第一段虽然没有说明竞争无处不在，但简洁地提到竞争的根源和作用。最大的特色在于作者语言功底好，驾驭语言的能力强，句式变化灵活，语言丰富且准确。善于运用衔接词，使得句与句之间连贯、通顺，逻辑性强。Sample 4It is competition that comes first when refer to modern society. As a consequence of education development, largely expanded population, high intelligent, in addition with high-density conditions make competitions even more fierce nowadays. Individuals must compete for their jobs and promotions, companies have to rival against their rivalries for profits and even countries will compete for their survivals. However, despite the cruel situations of so called “jungle laws”, theres no denying the fact that cooperation does co-exist with competition as well. Cooperation and competition are like two sides of a coin that cannot be stripped away from each other. Otherwise, none of the participants can survive. For example, multiple industries will work together so that a perfect product that is adored by consumers will be released. Parallelly, 12 soccer players need to coordinate their efforts to win a champion, while egos have no room to stand in when everyone is busy contributing to the same task. It follows that we should press as more significance on cooperation as on competitions.Now that we can draw a conclusion that we cant tell which more important is, cooperation or competition. While when struggling for our own chances, we ought to compete with each other without mercy; but when our profits are linked with each other, its no doubt that teamwork will be a better alternative.（13分）（13级历史谭俊彦）点评文章条理清晰，层次分明，论证较为深刻且具逻辑性。语言表达连贯，亮点词语的运用为文章增色不少。但有个别地方需稍作修改，尽量注意拼写准确（蓝色标识的为拼写有误的单词）。Sample 5As a kind of social phenomenon, competitions are here and there in our daily life. For instance, since top grades do not always go to the brightest students, everyone in the class has to work hard to attain academic excellence. Besides, many have to compete with others for jobs, promotions and so on. In fact, living in a world where each individual is ambitious for a better life, we couldnt, and shouldnt avoid any kind of competition.But it doesnt mean that we can neglect the importance of cooperation. And sometimes competition and cooperation exist side by side. Its an indispensable requirement of any top students to cooperate with others. More often than not, several students will form a group before the final examination to discuss the difficulties and homework together, share their notes and learn some useful experience from each other. What they do is a kind of cooperation, of course, but its also a way to enhance their competitiveness so that they can get higher marks.Therefore, we should treat competition and cooperation properly. Wed better attach great importance to both of them. On one hand, each of them has its own role to play in enhancing ones competitiveness; on the other hand, competition promotes cooperation, and vice versa. （14分）（13级历史林韵妍）点评这篇文章紧扣主题，层次分明，内容丰富，论证翔实。最大的特色是善于运用所学短语，不是机械地照搬，而是灵活地运用。语言表达通顺、连贯，长短句结合，句式变化多样。Sample 6Competition exists everywhere in our daily life. Athletes fight with their opponents for the championship. Companies compete with each other for the market share and profit. Every year countless students take part in College Entrance Examination in order to win better education resources.（列举事例简明扼要）When we talk about competition, its inevitable to refer to its oppositecooperation. As well as competition, cooperation is also ubiquity. Actually, competition and cooperation always exists side by side. Say, each player in a team performs his or her own functions, cooperating with team members to ensure the victory. Companies also cooperate for their common interest in free market competition. As for students, teaching benefits teacher and student alike. Through cooperation, they achieve win-win situation.（论证比较充分，较好地阐明了竞争与合作并存）Nowadays, a proper attitude towards competition and cooperation is necessary. We cooperate in competition; compete in cooperation. Neither of them should be ignored. Only combining competition and cooperation can we adapt ourselves to the changeable environment in the modern society. Cmpetition and cooperation complement each othe